Finding Each Other Again

Special thanks to my mom, my sister, Lord_and_Lady_Peeves, and Doomspark (my beta) for everything you lovely ladies (and gentlemen) do to encourage me.

Also, this is my FIRST story, so please, be nice and helpful. Enjoy! :)

________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 14: Finding Each Other Again

The early December snow crunched beneath Hermione and David's feet, as they made their way into the courtyard after lunch for his regular transfiguration tutoring. Almost two weeks had passed since the incident with the Death Eater, and Hermione had not talked to her professor since. Of course, she still saw him in Potions, and she was terribly vexed when he ordered her to continue working with him in his research, but she only spoke to him when it was related to the experiments. She was still angry with him for what he had done, but, damn her heart, she still loved him. How she could, she didn't know, but the thought of him still sent her heart all aflutter.

"Hermione, are you all right?" David asked, noticing the sad look in his friend's eyes.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine, David," Hermione answered, faking a smile. "I was just thinking of, er, some new transfiguration techniques. Um, why don't we stop here by this tree and begin practicing, shall we?"

The two of them spent the majority of the time reviewing wand movements. David occasionally growled in frustration, while Hermione patiently instructed him. Finally, after some trial and err, David Heart grinned as he successfully transfigured a tree into a shrubbery and back again.

"Very good!" Hermione praised with a smile. "That was much better!"

"Yeah, these tutoring sessions are really helping," David beamed.

"You have shown so much improvement. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Hermione, but really, all the credit should be going to you. After all, I'd probably still be failing if it wasn't for you."

"Oh, not true."

"Yes it is, and you know it. Come on, give me a hug. Come on; you know you want to!"

Hermione chuckled when David flashed her his winning grin and hugged her tight. It was a friendly hug, so she smiled and received it warmly, as well as gave a small one back. While they hugged, Hermione swore that she heard what sounded like the shutter of a camera. No, that couldn't be. Honestly, who in their right mind would be taking pictures of her and David?

"Big Red to Camera Man! Big Red to Camera Man! Did you get that? Over," Ron whispered into his Sneaky Snooper, Fred and George's latest invention that was inspired by Muggle walkie-talkies their father brought home one evening. It resembled a thimble that covered the end of one's finger, allowing him or her to communicate with others that also wore the Sneak Snooper over one of their digits.

"Camera Man to Big Red! I caught the perfect shot!" Colin Creevey whispered into his own Sneaky Snooper, as he hid behind a row of snow covered hedges. "Over."

"Brilliant! Remain at your position and continue surveillance! I'll remain hidden by this rock. Big Red to Scar Face! Big Red to Scar Face! Did you hear that last conversation? Over."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Harry said with a frustrated sigh into his own Sneaky Snooper, as he hovered on his broom behind a near by tree with an Extendable Ear, courtesy of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. "Ron, honestly, this is..."

"No, Scar Face! I'm 'Big Red,' remember? Over."

"And don't call me 'Scar Face,' either!"

"Scar Face, you gotta say 'over' at the end of your statement. Over."

"Ro... Er, Big Red, can we go in now? Uh, over."

"Negative, Scar Face. Remain at your post eavesdropping on their conversation from aerial surveillance. We'll combine our information later just before dinner."

"Fine, Ro... Er, Big Red... Over."

"Camera Man to Big Red!" Colin said urgently. "The Cock and the Chick are heading back to the castle! We're standing by and awaiting orders."

"All right, team, Operation Fancy Pants is relocating to the Gryffindor Common Room until further activity! Big Red, over and out!"

The three "agents" of Operation Fancy Pants moved out, following the two friends, as they made their way back towards Hogwarts. Hermione didn't notice the group that trailed behind her. She wasn't really listening to David talk about his new sea serpent boots either. All she was focusing on was Snape. She wished he hadn't tortured Burton. She was grateful he saved Harry and her when he did, but then to deliberately inflict pain and suffering after the two of them were safe... That was awful. However, she was reminded of a very important fact: Snape was once a Death Eater, and he did some terrible things. Loving Severus meant she would have to accept the good and the bad about him. However the question was could she, especially after witnessing what he was capable of doing to another human being? She shuddered, as scenes from that grisly night reappeared in her mind.

"Cold?" David asked.

"Oh, uh, yes, just a bit," Hermione said shyly, not wanting to reveal the real reason she shivered.

"Aww, come here then, and we'll bunch up."

Suddenly, David wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulders and pulled her close, sharing his body heat.

"Oh, David Heart!" Hermione giggled, as she gave him a playful nudge. "You're so..."

"Handsome? Charming? I know. Just don't let Daniela see us; she's the jealous type. She'd take an innocent gesture between friends and blow it way out of proportion."

"Yes, I know a couple of people who would do that as well."

As the two friends continued walking back to Hogwarts, Hermione thought about the night she had hugged Snape, before he left for the Dark Revel, the same night she realized she was in love with him. She longed for that feeling of closeness with him again. She moved even closer to David, imagining he was Severus, as she recalled every thought and emotion she felt that night, while being held in his arms.

"Hey now, Hermione, don't try to get fresh with me," David teased. "I like to make the first move."

"Shut up, prat!" Hermione growled, causing David to burst out laughing. Behind them chaos erupted.

"Take the picture, Colin!" Ron hissed hysterically.

"Wait, I thought my code name is 'Camera Man,' right?" Colin questioned.

"There's no time for that now, man! Take the bloody pictures as evidence! Harry, what are they saying?"

"Ron, I'm hovering right above you. Can you hear what they're saying?"

"No."

"Then neither can I."

"Bloody hell! They could be talking about something serious, like asking her to come home with him for Christmas to meet his parents!"

As Colin began to furiously take pictures and Harry tried his best to calm Ron down, Hermione sighed sadly to herself, wondering if things would ever be the same between Severus and her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape threw his teaching robes over a near by chair and pushed up his sleeves enough to prevent them from getting in the way, as he sliced the tarantula legs into thin strips. He was trying his best to ignore Hermione, but failing miserably. He couldn't help it. She was constantly on his mind. He missed seeing the warmth in her eyes, and their conversations about everything from potions to poetry. He even missed her pushy Gryffindor attitude. Unfortunately, this Hermione was nothing like that. She was still intelligent and articulate, but she lacked all the charm and grace of the young woman he knew before that night in the dungeons with Burton. Although weeks had passed, her words still cut through him like a knife, especially her riddle. He still spent some night lying in bed awake as the riddle echoed over and over in his head.

"What is that which goes out of the body when death comes in and is also the part of you that sees a dream? I'll give you a hint: YOU seem to be lacking one after what you did!"

A soul; Snape knew the answer was a soul, therefore, she was calling him "soulless." That hurt him more than anything. He couldn't help but cringe at the thought. He understood his anger did get out of hand, but that didn't make him some inhuman creature. However, no matter how many times he tried to convince himself otherwise, his heart still ached for his little lioness. He had to get her back. The question was only how?

"Professor?" Hermione asked for a third time, causing Snape to snap back into reality.

"What is it, Miss Granger?" he asked sternly.

"Sir, I have finished extracting the morning glory seeds. I just have to add the ginger root, but we seem to be out of it. What do you want me to do in the mean time?"

"Out of ginger root? Nonsense. I just purchased some from Hogsmeade not too long ago."

"But I just check the cupboard, sir, and the jar was empty. You can see for yourself if you wish."

Snape furrowed his brow, knowing he recently purchased ginger root, but trying to think of why it was not in the jar. Ah, he remembered he had it in his personal supplies inside his chambers. Ginger was great for combating indigestion, especially after he had to endure some of Hagrid's cooking from a Staff Meeting the night before. He'd have to go down and get it. Come to think of it, he had to get several ingredients from his personal storage, too many for one person to carry. Of course, he could use a floating charm to transport them, but he did not like to taint potions or their ingredients with "foolish wand waving." He was going to have to bring Hermione with him to carry the other ingredients. For an odd reason, the thought of Hermione in his chambers sent his mind spinning. However, he quickly got a handle on his emotions and scolded himself for acting like such a schoolboy.

After clearing his throat, Snape said, "Miss Granger you will have to accompany me to my... private chambers to retrieve some ingredients necessary for the next brew."

"Yes, sir," Hermione said calmly, while her insides flipped and somersaulted. Good God, she was going into HIS private chambers? She fought hard to prevent the color slowly creeping to her cheeks. Honestly, she shouldn't act so immature. They were merely going in and then out again. She wouldn't even have time to get a good look at the decor and such.

Hermione was snapped back to her senses when she heard Snape's robes rustling, as he turned and strode to the door. She put down the morning glory seeds and headed after him. They were both silent as they made their way to his private rooms. Hermione trailed behind him as he led her through the dungeons, past the Potions classroom, and the Slytherin Common Room. Finally, they came to his office, where he quickly let down the wards and entered. Hermione followed him in, shutting the door behind her. Snape warded the door again just when he was about to tell Hermione to shut her eyes and turn her back to him, before he could use the secret entrance to his chambers. However, something inside of him thought different. Really, he knew he could trust her, and, for some reason, he wanted her to know how to enter his chambers. Ignoring his natural suspicion towards people in general, Snape walked to the bookshelf, pulled out his wand, and had the tip touch the side of the bookshelf with Hermione watching in full view.

"Penance," Snape said softly, and the bookshelf was suddenly pushed aside, just like that night of the Dark Revel. Hermione was taken back that Snape had trusted her enough to reveal the entrance to his chambers. She imagined few people knew about it, yet he allowed her to know. The thought alone warmed her heart.

"Come along, Miss Granger," Snape rumbled from the bookshelf. He swept into the tunnel behind the shelf, and Hermione quickly followed. She jumped when the bookshelf slammed shut behind her, and found herself in complete darkness, but only for a second. Suddenly, torches along both sides of the wall sprung to life and let off a warm glow to light their path. Despite the eerie environment, she was impressed. Without looking behind him to see if she was there, Snape began to walk down the tunnel. Hermione was hot on his heels, not wanting to be alone in such a ghostly place.

The two walked on through twists and turns along the tunnel until they came to a door. Snape flung it open and allowed Hermione to step inside first. She took a deep breath and muttered, "Thank you," before she walked into his private chambers. She looked around and smiled to herself, not surprised to see most of it in black. Oddly enough, his rooms were almost just as she imagined, except it was bigger than she anticipated. It was elegant, dark, and refined, just like him. Her thoughts were broken when she heard the door shut behind her and Snape said quietly, "Miss Granger, I will go and unlock the cupboard containing the ingredients and call you over when your assistance is needed."

"Yes, sir," Hermione said as her eyes continued to soak up the room. She didn't even notice that Snape had left as her eyes scanned the area. There was a beautiful black couch along with a black chair next to the fireplace, which looked to be his favorite since the table next to it was littered with books, quills, and an empty snifter glass. There was also a handsome writing desk along the wall next to...

Hermione's breath caught in her throat ash she gasped in astonishment at the object in the corner of the room. Could it be? She approached the object cautiously, as if it would spring to life at any moment. As she came closer, she realized that her assumptions were correct. Snape owned a harpsichord!

Hermione was amazed as she stood by it, looking longingly at the keys and sheet music that adorned the stand. Oh, she loved harpsichord music! The sounds and sweet melodies always raised her spirits and put a satisfied smile on her face. She remembered even as a young girl how she loved to play her mother's cassette tapes of Johann Sebastian Bach Harpsichord Concertos. She'd dance along as the music swelled and lifted her up into the clouds and she'd feel like she'd fly up to heaven. She'd beg and plead her parents to get a harpsichord so she could take lessons, but they'd always tell her how it was too expensive. After one too many rejections, Hermione finally gave up trying to convince her parents, and settled for mere recordings and concerts, but always still yearned to play.

Now she was standing right next to one, and Hermione couldn't be happier. She slowly felt the smoothness of one of the keys and craved to gently push down on it to hear the strong note reverberating from the plucked string. Oh, it would sound like heaven! Unfortunately, she didn't dare, not as long as Snape was around. No doubt he would have her head if she did! She sighed as her finger continued wandering from key to key, wishing she knew how to play.

"Miss Granger," a voice said sternly behind her, "did you not hear me when I called for you?"

Hermione quickly whipped around to find herself face to face with Snape as he stood with his arms folded over his chest. Hermione gasped and quickly pulled her hand from the harpsichord keys. Oh, she was in for it now!

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, Professor Snape!" Hermione gasped. "I was, well, I was looking at your quarters, which are very nice by the way, when I was suddenly distracted seeing your harpsichord, which is also very nice, and, well you see, I love the harpsichord, and I had to see it up close, and then, oh I'm so sorry, but I felt the keys, because I've always wanted to play, but don't worry, I didn't break anything! I was just..."

"I take it you enjoy the harpsichord?" Snape asked silkily.

Hermione stopped her rambling immediately and looked at her Potions master. He didn't appear angry or annoyed, rather he seemed curious and even slightly intrigued she had taken an interest in the old instrument. She cleared her throat before she said, "Yes, sir, I actually love harpsichord music."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, sir. Like I said, I'm very sorry, but when I saw the harpsichord here in the corner... oh, I just had to see it up close. It's so beautiful!"

With his arms still folded, Snape slowly made his way to stand along side of Hermione next to the harpsichord, as he said, "This harpsichord has been in the Snape family for centuries. It has been passed down from generation to generation, each owner adding a new memory, a new saga to it."

He momentarily allowed a hand to rush over the keys, just as Hermione had done. He then turned to face her and asked, "Do you know how to play?"

"Oh no, sir," Hermione said with a twinge of sadness in her voice. "I wish I did. I've always wanted to learn, but my parents said it was far too expensive."

"I see."

The conversation came to an abrupt halt. They stood beside each other, next to the harpsichord in the silence, looking into each other's eyes for the first time in weeks without fear of what the other might see. Finally, Hermione broke her gaze and the silence when she turned away and stammered, "W-w-well, I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Professor Snape, but as I said, I was distracted by the beautiful harpsichord. It really is wonderful. I suppose we..."

"Sit down, Miss Granger."

Hermione turned around to find Snape no longer standing beside her, but from behind the harpsichord bench, which he had turned around so that the bench was perpendicular to the instrument instead of parallel with it. Confused, Hermione asked, "I'm sorry, sir?"

"Sit... Hermione."

She slowly took in a deep breath upon hearing her name on his lips for the first time in weeks. Oh, it felt so good! How could she resist his request? Slowly, Hermione walked over to the bench and lowered herself onto it with her back to Snape, wondering what he was going to do.

"Face the harpsichord, Hermione."

She glanced at him from behind her shoulder and saw he was dead serious about his order. Instead on inquiring about his strange demand, Hermione followed his instructions perfectly. She now sat at the end of the bench with her hands on her lap while the keys were spread out in front of her, begging to be played. Just when she was about to ask what he wanted her to do next, Hermione suddenly gave a small gasp, as she felt a warm body mold itself behind her. She quickly glanced over her shoulder again only to see Professor Snape sitting behind her on the bench! Slowly, he moved his arms to come around her body and take a C chord position on the harpsichord keys.

"Hermione," Snape purred into her ear, causing her to melt from the inside out, "place your hands on top of mine so that the pads of your fingers match up with my own."

Intoxicated by both the sound of his voice in her ear and the feeling of his body pressed up against hers, Hermione complied and gently placed her hands on his own, reveling in the contact and electricity that seemed to course through them both at their touch.

"Now, just relax, and feel the movement of my hands under your own, remembering and following their actions."

Hermione nodded since her breath was caught in her throat. The man had a voice like velvet! Then, very slowly, Snape's hands began to move beneath her own. She felt his long elegant fingers play out Greensleeves on the harpsichord, his hands floating over the keys, as she followed him note for note. They were like one person as Snape played, while Hermione watched and learned as her hands rested upon his. As he performed, Snape inhaled the scent of her hair, grateful he could once again be close enough to smell it. Ah, roses! He ventured to have his cheek brush up against it and felt its soft curls. He was surprised as he felt her body relax even more and lean back into his own. He almost gave a sigh of relief and satisfaction but resisted the temptation. Instead, he continued to play, nearly finished with the sixteenth century piece, and watch Hermione with a most peaceful and pleasant look on her face.

Hermione felt as if she had died and gone to heaven. Oh, it was magnificent to hear such a beautiful song, especially with Severus Snape playing it just for her! She felt her heart soar higher and higher with each note and Snape's slow, rhythmic breath she felt hot against her neck or cheek. She felt herself let go of all the troubles and worries that plagued her mind and slowly sink deeper into Snape's form. For the first time in weeks, she felt comfortable with her Potions master again, a feeling she had longed for and regained at last. She could stay in this position with Severus forever.

The two continued to play together, playing the song at least three times before Snape finally began to slow the last few bars of the piece before holding down the last note for the big finish, allowing it to die out and echo into silence. The two remained glued to their seat on the bench with neither wanting to leave, but knowing they had to eventually. Slowly Hermione turned to face Snape, grateful that he had been kind enough to not only realize a dream, but to remind her of how miserable things had been without him. Though Snape would never admit it, he felt the exact way. They said nothing, as they looked deep into each other's eyes, seeing the fear had disappeared and was replaced with adoration. Finally, Hermione saw the man she had been deprived of for the past few weeks, the man she knew prior to the incident in the dungeon. Her eyes brimmed with tears and emotion at her discovery, and nothing could make her happier at that moment.

"There you are, Severus," Hermione whispered, as a single tear trickled down her cheek. "I've missed you."

"I've been here," Severus whispered back, while he gently wiped the tear away with his thumb. "I've always been here."

"No... Not the man I saw in the dungeons. That man wasn't you... He was someone else entirely."

Snape gave her a sad look, before he stood from the bench and slowly walked toward his desk. He clutched the back of the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose, his back to Hermione. Why was this so hard? Why did this conversation suddenly matter so much to him? Finally, he sighed and turned to face his little lioness, as she sat perfectly still on the harpsichord bench.

"Hermione," Snape began solemnly. "That man you saw that night was... a part of me from long ago. Though I have abandoned my heinous ways, bear in mind, there lies a darker side that resides in me, and I fight to control it. There was a reason I was a Death Eater."

"But..."

Hermione stopped herself before she said too much. However, she didn't pull her eyes away from Snape. She wanted to prove to him that she was serious, that she was sorry, and that she cared with all her heart.

Snape, noticing what she was trying to ask, said softly, "Go on."

He turned his head away, suddenly busying himself with... well, whatever he found on his desk; anything to try and hide his shame. Hermione felt her stomach clench. She had knocked on the door to Snape's past, a door he had kept under lock and key for God knows how long. There was no way of avoiding it now. She took a breath and asked seriously, "Severus... Why did you join the Death Eaters?"

Snape stopped what he was doing upon hearing her words. Oh, of all the things she could have thought, why did it have to be that one? He put down his work and slowly lifted his head to meet her eyes that were full of curiosity as well as concern. Snape studied her, wondering why she even cared. As he looked into her eyes, he realized she really wanted to know, but not because she was nosy, but because she wanted to understand him better. No one, except for Dumbledore, ever actually cared enough to want to know what he did and why he did them. They were quick to judge and label him without giving his feelings a second thought. But not her. Like Dumbledore, she was willing to hear his side of the story, not to judge him, but to understand him. Truly, she was an angel!

The silence in the room was deafening, as they continued to stare at one another. Hermione couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes and wanted to turn away, but his gaze entrapped her. She shouldn't have asked him something so personal. Any moment now he was going to lash out at her or, worst of all, kick her out and take away her position as Potions Apprentice. Oh, what a fool she was! She should have never...

Suddenly, both the silence and her thoughts were broken as Snape said in low velvet tones, "Our aim is to rid society of negative influences. This end justifies certain unorthodox means."

Hermione couldn't help but shudder at the words. Oh, it was so eerie to hear him say that! That's what they truly believed! They thought they were right in their cause, not knowing that they were causing only pain and suffering. They were so brainwashed that they couldn't see their wrong, nor could they admit it if they did see their destruction. How did Severus escape it then? When did he realize it was the wrong path?

She held her breath as Snape rose from his seat and slowly approached her. She had to crane her neck to look up at his face from the bench, as he loomed over her, but not in a domineering fashion. His arms were limp at his sides and his broad shoulders looked slightly slumped. His facial features were soft and his eyes still foretold the pain and regret he experienced daily. Slowly, he lowered himself next to her onto the bench and sighed.

"Yes, there was once a time I believed that," he said no louder than a whisper, still looking deep into her eyes. "I believed in The Dark Lord's words. I thought the Wizarding world needed to be purged of Muggles and Muggleborns, convinced that they were the cause of all our suffering. I believed they were tainting the bloodlines, and they were the reason our world was becoming more and more corrupt. Also, I believed this was a way to weed out those old Wizarding families that were a disgrace to the other purebloods by associating and even at times defending Muggles and Muggleborns."

"Purebloods like James Potter, who actually liked and accepted those like Lily Evans," Hermione said softly.

"Yes, like them," Snape answered, now looking down at his hands. "I thought it would be poetic justice to have them pay for what..."

Snape and Hermione both noticed his hands had form tights fists that shook with rage. Snape closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm his frayed nerves. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open as he felt a warm hand on his own two fists. He looked down to see Hermione's delicate little hand resting upon his own, which slowly melted under her and relaxed on his lap. He wished to God that he could have taken her hand and engulfed it with his own, but he didn't dare. Besides, she was still a student.

"A student that's of age," the voice in his head reminded him.

Snape ignored the voice and focused only on the hand, wishing he could hold her, wishing he could kiss it, wishing she had finished school already. Instead, he savored the feeling of her hand upon his, the heat radiating off of it and warming his entire body. Oh, if only she knew his true feelings for her; if only he could let them be known.

Finally, he looked up to meet her amber eyes again. She did not recoil or even show any sign of discomfort under his gaze. Rather she merely looked back at him, her eyes reflecting not pity, but great sorrow, as if his loss, his pain, his memories of the good and the bad were her own, and she could feel every emotion that he felt in them.

"What happened that made you come back to the Light?" Hermione whispered, her eyes never tearing from his.

Snape was silent for a moment, wondering if he should burden her with the details of that night that was to be the final straw for him. Finally, he spoke.

"I don't know if there was a time I was in the Light before this, Hermione, but I shall tell you of the details of my departure from the Dark.

"When I first began my service with the Dark Lord, his plans were strategic and purposeful. He only targeted Muggles and Muggleborns. But soon, I began to see no objective in the raids, only a chance to terrorize, maim, and traumatize the inhabitants of whatever village the Dark Lord saw fit. There no longer was any organization, just commands to hunt them down and kill them. Finally, he was no longer specific in his instructions. He was demanding we kill anyone who stood in our path, no matter who it was. He was no longer the strong leader that I saw as a young man. He was now a crazed megalomaniac that only cared about himself. However, it would still be some time before I finally broke off the chains that bound me to him. I don't know why I waited so long. I suppose part of it was because I was and am the, as much as it disgusts me to say it now, 'favorite' out of group (as well as Bellatrix), and I craved the praise and attention the Dark Lord bestowed upon me. However, the night I left his side, I have never regretted it, nor have I ever looked back.

"That night seemed like any other night at the Dark Revel. He barked out his orders and dismissed us to do his will. However, what made this raid interesting was that he himself was going to accompany us. He wanted to see the looks of terror and confusion on the enemies' faces. We Apparated to a village about thirteen miles north of Hogsmeade. It was dark and cold, deathly silent before we attacked. Curses were being hurled through the air, buzzing past my head. Houses were torched. Cries filled the night sky and the stars seemed to tremble at the sound.

"As the raid was dying down, the Dark Lord brought out a scared Muggle woman and her son, who look no older than five years of age. He threw her onto the ground and ordered us to gather around her. She laid sobbing and shaking, begging us to spare the life of her son, who the Dark Lord had thrown to Lucius. He forced the boy to watch as the Dark Lord... as he..."

"Violated her?" Hermione whispered in wide-eyed horror.

"No. It is a common misconception that Death Eaters would rape Muggle women. That is entirely untrue. You must understand that they view Muggles as not even human. To rape a Muggle would be equivalent to bestiality, so they wouldn't even 'soil themselves,' so to say."

"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know... What happened to her?"

"I will spare you the gory details, as it is too horrible to retell. I will just tell you they made her suffer. As Dark Lord and a few others began their onslaught, I remember seeing the boy huddled at Malfoy's feet, his hands covering his ears as he cried. He begged for them to leave his mother alone, but they merely laughed and continued to taunt him, forcing him to look at his mother.

"As I continued to look at the boy, I suddenly recalled... an incident that happened in my childhood, one of my earliest memories. No doubt Potter told you about what he saw in my Pensive when I was teaching him Occlumency."

"If you mean that he told me of the incident of not only between you and his father, but of the memories of what he assumed were your mother and father, then yes," Hermione answered honestly.

"I thought as much. Then you already know how dismal and horrid my life was as a boy. To be honest, it hasn't changed much, but that's not the point. When I saw that child, that young boy crying as he huddled at Lucius's feet, I was reminded of my life as a child, witnessing and experiencing the beatings from my father. I remembered feeling so helpless and wishing how I could stop the madness, the evil that was running ramped through our lives. Suddenly, at that moment, I realized that I was now apart of that very evil, the same that caused my mother and I so much pain and sorrow. I had fallen into the trap and was following my father's footsteps, after I vowed to myself never to do so.

"I remember then feeling a cold emptiness inside of me upon this realization. I wanted to scream and cry to the heavens, to tear my soul out from my body, and to just die for the sins I had committed over the years. Instead, I watched, helpless and alone once more, just as I had been as a child. For the first time in my adult life, I was scared. I didn't know what to do or who to tell, but there was only one thing I knew: in my heart, I was no longer a Death Eater; I was against it.

"My thoughts were broken as I heard the group burst into laughter. The boy had broken away from Lucius and was beating his little fists on the Dark Lord's back, demanding he stop hurting his mother at once and leave them alone. The Dark Lord merely turned around and pinned the boy with that wicked grin. The boy was not fazed and instead took a swing, and told him he was a bad man. Suddenly, the Dark Lord unsheathed his wand and used a constricting charm around the boy's neck. The mother, close to death, still pleaded for her son's life. The Dark Lord then looked down at her and smiled, baring those sharp teeth, and hissed, 'Tell me, if you saw a rat with her offspring, would you allow them to live? Would you let them thrive and over run your house? Would you let those filthy rodents increase in number and spread disease, poisoning your own children? I would think not. That being the case, can you blame me for just purging the world of vermin like you?' And with that, he... he..."

Snape stopped and tore his eyes from Hermione. Even now, it was still difficult for him to speak about it. He felt Hermione squeeze his hands, tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh, Severus, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"The Dark Lord threw their bodies at my feet," Snape continued. "He told me to dispose of that trash and dismissed everyone else until the next Dark Revel. After I was sure everyone had left, I actually gave them a proper burial. Usually the Dark Lord wants their bodies thrown to the bog, but I didn't this time. I made sure their souls would be at peace.

"After I buried them, I didn't know what to do at first. I didn't want to continue this desolate existence, but I knew my life was at risk if I simply refused to be a part of this genocide. Once the mark is branded on your arm, you belong to him. Suddenly, a name appeared to me, a name I had always trusted and respected through out my life: Dumbledore. I immediately headed to Hogwarts, not caring about my attire as I slipped in through a secret entrance in the Slytherin Common Room and came upon the Headmaster's office. I thought I would somehow break into the office, since I didn't know the password, but, as luck would have it, the staircase was already open and I walked up and let myself into Dumbledore's office.

"The Headmaster was at his desk, not even looking up from his work when I entered. It wasn't until I closed the door and a few of his portraits gasped in horror that he finally looked at me. 'Headmaster Dumbledore,' I began, as I removed my mask. He met my eyes and merely stared at me for a moment. I saw no twinkle in them, nor did a see a hint of a smiled played on his lips upon my arrival. In the past whether I was a boy in his school or a man helping him with a task, he always greeted me with smiles and twinkling. At that moment, he looked at me with... sadness... disappointment... even pity.

"Then he finally said solemnly, 'Oh, Severus, my boy. Where have you been?'

"Upon hearing those words, despair suddenly swept over me and I crumbled to the floor. For the first time since I was a child, I cried. I sobbed and pulled at my hair, ashamed of what I had done. I clawed at the Dark Mark on my arm until it bled. However, I stopped when I felt Dumbledore lift me to my feet, and embrace me like a father would to his son. That was the first time that anyone had ever touched me in an affectionate way. I didn't know what to do, but I merely clung to him and wept.

"After I had regained my composure, I told him everything. I told him all that I knew. I told him about secrets the Dark Lord had only shared with me, the Dark Revels, the raid, and the boy. Finally, after I was through, he said, 'Well done, my boy. You have turned away from your old ways and have joined on the side of right. This is the first step towards redemption.' I felt that way, too. I felt I had done what was right, and... It felt good.

"The Headmaster then asked me what did I intend to do now that I had turned my back on the Dark Lord and his followers. I took a moment to collect my thoughts, since I hadn't even considered what to do next. Suddenly, it came to me. I suggested that since I was a favorite with the Dark Lord, my information would be useful, and I volunteered to be a spy, a double agent. Though he was reluctant at first, because it was a great risk on my life, Dumbledore finally agreed. We planned on telling the Dark Lord I was captured by the Order, and told Dumbledore I would be a spy for them if they spared my life, but I would secretly remain faithful to the Death Eaters. Of course, the Dark Lord bought the story. Though there are those who continuously question my loyalty to the Order, I have remained faithful to Dumbledore ever since. He is one of the few who trusted and believed in me when no one else would. He is truly one of the few I call friend."

"And... and what would you call me, Severus?" Hermione asked, half dreading and half anticipating the answer.

Snape hesitated only for a moment, wanting to say what was on his heart, but afraid of chasing his lioness away. Instead, he looked her straight in the eye and whispered, "I'd like to call you friend."

"Among other things," the voice in his head echoed.

"Of course, that is if you'll have me," Snape finished, hoping she WOULD have him.

Hermione smiled and without faltering, whispered back, "Of course, Severus, as I would like to call you friend as well."

She gave him a shy smile, and he gave a very small one back, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. Snape paused for a moment, feeling almost as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He sighed quietly before he continued, "Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder what that boy would have been like had he a chance to grow up. Would he have been like me after witnessing what he had that night? Would he have become a wizard as well? Would I have taught him? Would he have recognized me if I did? I think he might have, because... sometimes, when I look up from my cauldron, or my paper, or even from my plate at the Great Hall... I see him... I see that little boy standing there, just for a moment... and then he's gone... but I know he's still there... a constant reminder of my wrongs..."

"Severus, there was nothing you can do. They were going to kill them no matter what you did. You've done right since then. You're a different man."

"You didn't seem to think so a few weeks ago."

"Severus... You must understand something. I was very frightened and very worried. This was a side of you I had never seen before. Suddenly you were this man that wasn't the Severus I knew... For a while, I was afraid I had lost you. For a while... I was afraid that man was the REAL Severus, and I had gotten to know the facade."

"And now?" Snape asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Now... I know that wasn't you... You wouldn't take advantage of me, even if your life was at risk, that's not who you are. I know that this," she whispered putting her hand on his cheek, "this is who you are, Severus. Please forgive me for thinking otherwise. I promise you it will never happen again."

The two of them stared longingly at one another, Snape at a total loss for words. No one had ever asked him for forgiveness. However, he felt no ill feelings towards his lioness. Slowly, he brought his hand up to cover her own hand that still held his cheek. Then, looking straight into her amber eyes, he whispered, "I... forgive you, Hermione. I forgive you."

"Do you really?"

"If I didn't would I tell you this: What is it that even if I do not come looking for it, it will come looking for me?"

Hermione gave a small sigh of relief and smiled, warming Snape to the core. Suddenly, his heart was pounding in his chest, and her small hand on his cheek began to feel like a weight. He felt himself leaning forward as Hermione did the same. Merlin, what was happening to him?

"You're about to kiss her, that's what, you fool!" the voice hissed in his head.

Kiss her? Good God, what should he do?

"Pucker up your lips and have them touch hers, what the hell do you think?"

For once, Snape did not try to argue with the voice in his head. He had spent the last several weeks without Hermione, and, frankly, he couldn't bear to be away from her again. He leaned closer, ready to feel her lips at any moment, as she too trembled slightly with excitement.

Suddenly, the fireplace roared to life with huge green flames. Hermione and Snape pulled away from each other quickly and immediately stood from the bench in time to see Dumbledore's head floating within the flames.

"Professor Snape and Miss Granger," Dumbledore said seriously, "I need you both to Floo to my office at once. I'm afraid this cannot wait."

Before either one of them had a chance to respond, Dumbledore's head and the green fire disappeared from the hearth. Hermione and Snape's stomachs were in knots. Oh good Lord, how much did Dumbledore see, if he saw anything at all? Maybe THAT'S why he sounded so concerned. Maybe he saw them about to kiss. Oh no, what if he called them in his office to sack Severus and expel Hermione? If that were the case, Severus planned to take the fall for the both of them. After all, he didn't care what happened to him as long as Hermione could graduate and be happy.

Sensing both their anxieties, Snape put a reassuring hand on Hermione's back and said, "Come along, Hermione. It sounds urgent."

Hermione nodded as her Potions master gathered a hand full of Floo powder and said, "The Headmaster's office," in a booming voice. They stepped into the fire together as the green flames lapped and surrounded them, both wondering if that night would be their last in Hogwarts.

________________________________________________________________________

Yea, there's chapter 14! I hope you all liked it!

- DADA Mistress