Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I play with them as I like, but alas, they are not mine. Neither these characters nor this world in general belongs to me, or anyone not named J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: Another round of applause for my beta, Pigwig!

Waking up as relaxed as Hermione could ever remember being, she immediately realised three things. One, this most definitely was not her bed, which meant that, two, these most definitely were not her rooms. That left number three: 'Who the hell's in my bed?'

Rolling over and seeing Severus peacefully sleeping, the night came back to her. With a wicked grin, she kissed his pale chest, working her way down his stomach. Looking up, she noticed he was awake, staring intently at her. Seeing the two puncture marks on his neck, her teeth elongated once more as her eyes flashed.

Realising he was indeed excited about what was sure to come, Hermione thought about where all that blood she was currently wanting had gone. Licking her way down the trail of hair on his abdomen, Hermione barred her teeth.

Like a flash, Severus was out of bed, leaving Hermione to fall face forward into the mattress.

"Oh no, you don't! I'm rather partial to the blood down there. I'll part with the blood in my neck; hell, I'll probably let you bite me in the ass, but there is no way you're biting me there!" Severus was as far away from her as possible, currently backing back into his own room.

Laughing, Hermione rolled onto her back. She had never seen him so hysterical. She could understand, of course, but it still didn't keep her from laughing more.

Erection most definitely deflated, and holding himself like it would surely fall off if he didn't, Severus had backed up until he had hit his own black clad bed in the other room.

"Rest assured, I'm pleased you find amusement from my most distressed situation, but I may never get an erection again here." Severus had calmed down some, but his sharp tongue was not quite up to par yet. His normally deep voice still sounded a bit high, maybe a little shaky, too.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I won't do it again. I promise," Hermione said, but to him it sounded entirely too innocent. Over the years he had learned that the more innocent and sweet a woman sounded, the more likely you were to find your dangly bits hexed off with a swift slicing charm.

A knock sounded at the door followed by 'the idiot' yelling, "M'lady, are you ready to leave with me? The storm has cleared now, and as it's nearly dawn. I'd like to venture out of here."

"Why does he want to leave before dawn?" Severus asked out loud.

"I don't think the writers actually wanted to deal with the complications associated with dawn and vampires." She then addressed 'the idiot,' "I'll be there in a moment."

"Shouldn't the story have ended by now? I thought the premise was to shag like bunnies, then leave. We did the vampire eroticism thing."

Hermione looked at him. He was still cupping himself, but he had moved back into the room at least. She simply answered, "You have to bite him."

"Excuse me? Why do I have to bite him? I thought I was turning you, not him."

"Well, you have to save the girl, don't you? You were supposed to tell me in the night, before the shagging part of course, all about Van Helsing's evil plot. So now you have to protect me. So go protect me!"

Severus still thought this was stupid, but walked over to the door anyway. Flinging it open, he caught a slight glimpse of 'the idiot' just before he was attacked.

Feeling his jaw throbbing, Severus could only conclude that he had actually been punched by 'the idiot.' 'What the hell kind of story is this?'

Wrestling on the ground now, the two men (well, one man and one character) were each trying to get the best of the other. Severus proved himself worthy when within less than a minute he had 'the idiot' pinned beneath him, struggling as Severus sat on his legs, holding his arms in his hands.

Severus smiled, feeling his canines lengthen and watching 'the idiot's' eyes widen. Leaning forward he bit down... on thin air.

They had landed back in Severus' office as soon as he had bit down.

Hermione was next to him on the floor, on her back, seemly clutching something to her chest, as she had been holding the sheet there just moments ago. Severus was on his hands and knees, head bent down. He almost fell face first into the stone floor in surprise.

By the time Severus realised he was no longer straddling a struggling Van Helsing/Lockhart, Hermione had already gotten up and retrieved the book from the floor.

She felt awkward. They were now fully clothed again: him in his teaching robes, her in her apprentice robes. She didn't know what to say, but the silence was dragging on as Severus hoisted himself from all fours.

"Well... that definitely seemed to do the trick, huh?" she asked, hoping against hope she didn't sound as stupid as she felt.

"Clearly." Severus hadn't actually meant it to come out so harsh, but damn his knees and jaw ached.

"Okay, well, I'll just get out of your way so you can go on about your day. I'm not sure what time it is, but I'm sure you're busy. Um... thanks for rescuing me and all that..." Hermione trailed off; she had been babbling. It wasn't like she had honestly expected roses and wine and fluffy poetry, it was still Severus Snape after all, but she had expected something.

Quickly retreating, she had almost made it to the door when she felt him grab her wrist, whipping her around to face him once more.

He didn't know what to say and was thankful that she seemed to be a practical girl. She knew he wouldn't profess his never-dying love for her or even admit that he loved her at all. He knew it, had known it ever since he had seen her lounging on the window sill, and was pretty sure she knew it, too, but that didn't mean he had to tell her, ever. Never ever.

He claimed her lips once more, pushing her against the door. There were no more awkward teeth to get in the way anymore, and he was glad. Seeing her about to attempt fellatio on him with fangs had definitely turned his vampire fantasies into nightmares.

Breaking apart, panting, he still had her pinned against him.

"Hermione, you can leave if you want, but I'll be damned if we go back to you flirting with me like mad, and me not even getting a quick shag as a reward for my frustration. I don't know who sent that book, and I don't personally care, but you can't seriously think you can forget what happened in there."

She smiled a wicked, wicked smile. "You honestly don't know who sent you that book? I thought you were more logical than that. I had only just picked it up, seemingly oblivious to the fact of what kind of book it even was, and yet I had to and could actually walk you through it, step by step. Really, Severus, I'm disappointed."

She was using that innocent tone again, damn. She was patronising him, and now that he saw all the clues placed before him, he couldn't honestly blame her for it. He had been right before, when he thought she was a worthy opponent.

"You're vicious, you know that?" he countered.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do try. Now, do you happen to know what time it is?"

He looked around, finding the clock on his desk to be facing away from him. He let her go and walked over. It read ten o'clock, but he couldn't honestly say if it meant am or pm.

Hermione had come around the desk to have her own look at the clock, seeing the confused expression on Severus' face.

"Is it morning or night?" Hermione asked, echoing Severus' thoughts unknowingly.

He looked around, but there were no windows and nothing else, either, that could confirm the time. He strolled over to the door and opened it. It was Saturday in the dungeons, and that meant that unless you were Slytherin, you weren't there. That wasn't much help either. He'd never had this problem before.

Hermione honestly needed to get back to her rooms, no matter what time it was. They may not have brought any clothing back with them from the book, but they were both sporting vampire bites on their necks, and Hermione was feeling distinctly sticky in at least one area. She voiced her thoughts to Severus, and he volunteered to walk her up, if for no other reason but to at least find out what time it was.

Walking up out of the dungeons and into the Entrance Hall, Hermione and Severus found it was indeed morning. There were students running around everywhere. It was Saturday.

When she had taken on the apprentice position, Minerva had insisted upon her staying near Gryffindor Tower. 'You'll feel more comfortable there than in the dank dungeons,' she had said. But that meant that the trek to her rooms had them walking up several flights of stairs and past quite a few gawking students. Severus just scowled at them, sending them on their way.

Finally arriving, Hermione felt awkward again. She gave the portrait protecting her chambers the password ("Sandalwood") and stepped inside. She felt embarrassed for her password, knowing that was his signature scent. She decided to ignore the embarrassment, however, finding that she didn't know if he would follow her in or not.

He wanted to laugh. He understood the underlying meaning in her password, but decided to allow her her embarrassment without ridicule, knowing he still needed to change his password as soon as humanly possible before she found out about it. He doubted he'd get the same courtesy of silence from her.

He followed her in without a trace of embarrassment. What, did she think she'd get off that easily? He had months of frustration to work out of both him and her.

The portrait swung closed behind him as he watched Hermione move into the bedroom, presumably to change clothing, or possibly shower. 'Hmm... shower; now there's an idea.'

She turned around to see him striding in; she knew he had followed her. Slowly removing her robes, she saw a look of appreciation flash across Severus' face. She'd guessed when she had bought this knickers set that he had had a soft spot for black lace.

As the robes dropped, she raised an eyebrow, waiting. It was now his turn to drop his robes.

A smile crept across his face as he reached up to do just that. 'So she likes games?'

They took turns with their under things as well, each intently watching the other.

Hermione then strolled into the bathroom. Reaching for the taps, she felt Severus behind her, his front flush with her back. Reaching blindly, she was thankful that it was warm water that came forth. Freezing water would have definitely killed the mood.

Sex in the shower proved to be an odd ordeal. Severus lost his footing half-way through, causing Hermione to slide down the wall. After that, however, it was good. There was no biting this time, though; both their necks were starting to show bruising.

Cleaning each other, Hermione insisting on washing his hair personally (she wanted to know if the greasiness was just the way his hair was, or if he just wasn't washing it correctly), they finished their shower in just under thirty minutes.

Forgoing towels for air-drying, they walked through the bedroom, back into the living room. They came through the door just as Harry came through the portrait.

"Hermione..." Harry trailed off, looking up finally. A shock of red hair, its owner looking down, bumped into Harry's back.

"What the hell, Harry?" Ron said. He froze when he looked up as well.

Apparently there was a freezing charm on the entire room, seeing as the two nude figures had frozen upon first hearing Harry. The first to recover was Hermione, rushing into the bedroom, exposing her bare arse to the boys now, yanking Severus' bare arse in behind her.

Frantically casting cleansing charms on their clothing and throwing them on, Hermione and Severus could hear Ron in the living room hysterically screaming.

"I'm blind! Harry, I'm blind."

"You're not blind, Ron; open your eyes," Harry replied, not quite yelling, but there was a definite edge of shock in his own voice.

"Oh damn, Harry, I'm not blind. Gauge my eyes out so I can be. I never want to see again!"

It was then that Hermione threw open the bedroom door, mercifully fully clothed now. "Ron, you're fine, calm down. It's not like you've never seen anyone naked before."

"Maybe not, but what the hell are you doing naked with Snape?" Ron asked, calmer, but still looking anywhere but at her, finally resting his eyes on Severus' form emerging from the bedroom now.

"Weasley, I doubt anyone will ever consider you intelligent, but even you can figure out what we were doing naked together," Severus said, finding the acid in his tone to finally be back.

Ignoring Severus' remark, Hermione asked, "I thought you were coming for dinner, it's ten-thirty in the morning. What are you doing here now, walking into my quarters like it's the bloody common room?"

She was angry, even Ron could tell she was angry. "I wanted to surprise you, Hermione; maybe spend the whole day together, all three of us. Like we used to. You didn't answer the knock, so we just assumed you were still asleep or something."

"Alright," Hermione began, much calmer now, "it was just a surprise. We were all surprised. It's no reason to get all worked up. However, perhaps I should meet you guys later. I'm fairly positive I now have something else to do. I'll find you guys when I'm ready."

As she turned around to begin what was sure to be a long talk with Severus, she saw repressed laughter shining in his eyes. When the door closed behind her, Severus couldn't hold it in any longer, letting out howling laughter into Hermione's stunned silence.

"Did you see their faces?" Severus asked when he finally calmed down enough to breathe. It had been a long time since he had laughed like that.

Hermione was stunned into silence. She was impressed he was laughing; she had never actually heard him laugh. It figured that the most enjoyment he would get in his life would be at Harry and Ron's expenses. If she didn't already love him, she might have actually been offended. But it was too funny.

They walked around the castle grounds for the remainder of the morning, talking of nothing and everything all at once. They found that conversation seemed to come easily to them. There were no awkward silences or stutters between them.

As lunchtime finally arrived, Hermione sat next to Severus for the first time in the Great Hall, never seeing the Dumbledorean twinkle in Minerva's eye.