CH 6, 7, and 8

Disclaimer: I could only own Harry Potter if I bought stock.

Thanks to my betas HP_BNC, HP4FREEK, and NotSoSaintly for pointing out my mistakes! They helped make this story palatable

Of course, thanks to the lovely admin for giving me a bit of a break. I wanted to make sure the entire story was posted before the challenge was ended. This submission is actually three chapters. There will be one more installment, also consisting of three chapters.

Warnings: There legitimately is smut in chapter eight!

Chapter Six: Muggle London

During dinner that evening, Hermione had taken her usual spot next to Severus. Partially through the main course, she turned to face him, and began a conversation. "Severus?" she prompted him.

"Yes, Miss Hermione?"

"I need to go into Muggle London this weekend to pick up some supplies for class. I was wondering, are you interested in joining me?"

"Why?" he asked becoming a bit defensive.

"Because! You're supposed to help me be the bloody teacher!" she snapped at him. He was slightly taken aback, but thought it best to not argue with her at this point.

"When will you be going?" he asked in what he thought was a nicer tone.

"I would like to go on Saturday, if that's alright with you."

"That's fine. I need to get some more potion supplies anyway. Would you mind stopping by Diagon Alley while we're out?"

Hermione smiled at him and nodded in acceptance. She had doubted he would want to go with her. She was thrilled that he was actually interested in making the trip longer than needed. "Shall we meet at the main entrance at noon then?" she asked pleasantly.

"Very well." It was the only response she received before he turned back to his plate and continued his meal in silence.

In the dungeon

Severus stalked into his laboratory, eager to begin brewing. He had been upset about all of the latest scrutiny about his character and appearance. He began brewing over two cauldrons.

There was a knock at the door, which he answered with a growl. "What is it?"

The door opened cautiously. He had not exactly said, 'Come in,' though he did not really say, 'Leave me alone,' either. It was worth the risk. Hermione smiled as she strode into the room after she was certain that he was not going to hex her for disturbing his private time in his dungeons.

"What do you want?" He was sorry afterwards at how harsh his tone had been.

'You' was the answer she would have liked to give, but she gave him a different one. "I thought I'd tell you about those other potions I need. Since we're going to the apothecary tomorrow anyway, you may need to pick up some extra ingredients for them." She shrugged and awaited his response.

He stared at her for a moment waiting for her to continue. "Well?"

"I need the contraception potion we spoke of in class today. I'd like to have a sample of it for the next class. I'd also like to have a small supply of it available in my stores. I know that it's against school rules for the students to be involved on that level, but honestly, they do it anyway. The least we can do is make sure they are safe about it. I also think I should have a few doses of the termination potion, as well. With the way that girl was talking, I think some prenatal potions are a must as well..." Hermione was thinking if there was anything else she was missing.

"Shall we begin brewing tomorrow evening?"

He bared his teeth at her in a new facial expression; it definitely could not be considered a smile, but it was not a grimace or sneer either. She noticed his teeth with this gesture. They were not very straight and had yellowed with years of stain and improper care. She was, after all, the daughter of dentists, so she was prone to noticing things about people's teeth.

"Sir?" she asked with the tone of a scared student. "If it's not too bold of me to say..." She trailed off, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"What is it?" he asked, preparing himself for an insult.

"Well, sir, I don't mean to offend you, but I know a really good spell to straighten out your teeth if you'd like, and another really good one to polish them to a lovely shade of white... It's really very superficial, I know, but I think you'd have really nice teeth if you took a few minutes to take care of them." She smiled at him, showing off her own pearly-whites. "Do you remember when Draco Malfoy hexed my teeth to grow? Well, sir, it's the same spell that Madam Pomfrey had used on me to reverse the damage."

"Thank you for the information, Miss Hermione. I'd appreciate it if you left though. I've got potions to brew."

She glanced at the cauldron and noticed that he was brewing a new batch of shampoo and conditioner for himself. "Sev?" She tried again, hoping for a better reaction this time. "I really liked the shampoo samples you gave me. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you brew me up a batch too?"

He twitched his mouth into an approving smirk as she exited his labs to go back to the hospital wing.

Chapter Seven: Birth Control and Bananas

Hermione took extra care to get ready that morning. She was going on a date with Professor Snape! Well, I suppose it's not really a date. He's going out with me to pick up a large quantity of condoms, and bananas, before we go pick up potion ingredients.

Deciding to straighten her hair, she took out her flattening iron. She rarely chose to use it; in her opinion, it was far too time consuming to make her hair manageable. Since she had been using the shampoo of Severus's concoction, her hair had been nothing but soft and silky with gentle waves. She knew that Muggle appliances did not work within the walls of Hogwarts, but she had figured out that if you charm them properly, they work just as well as when being run off electricity.

Hermione took care straightening her hair and placing on subtle amounts of make-up. She dressed in Muggle clothes. She pulled out a little black skirt and a violet jumper. She pulled on a pair of shoes that looked a lot like ballet slippers, but they were black and had a regular sole to them. She took a light corduroy jacket out of her wardrobe and headed down to the main entrance to meet her snarky date.

When she arrived at her destination, she noticed she was not the only one who had taken great care of their appearance today. She looked Severus over and noted that his hair was not as limp as it normally looked. He had picked out Muggle clothes as well, knowing they were going into Muggle London. He had on a pair of black trousers, rather similar to what he normally wore under his teaching robes, as well as a starched white linen shirt and a black leather jacket. There was something different about his skin, but she could not figure out what exactly.

She smiled at her travelling companion for the day. "You look wonderful today, Sev," she complimented him.

He was thankful for the praise. He had spent a majority of the night brewing different potions to improve his appearance. He decreased the potency of his shampoo, so his hair didn't look so greasy anymore; it was light and bounced as he walked. He brewed up several cleaners for himself. He would never admit it to anyone, but he had also taken her inadvertent advice, and had spent some time 'exploring his body.' He gave her a small smile, which showed a little bit of his teeth. She gasped in response and praised him some more.

"Your teeth! They look amazing!" She smiled at him and pulled on the sleeve of his jacket. "Go on and give me a proper smile!"

He ignored her request and pulled his arm out of her hands, asking if they could just go and get this over with.

***

They arrived at Muggle London by Apparition. There were designated areas that wizards were able to come and go from. Hermione led the way. She had made an appointment with the gynaecologist in St. Paul's Hospital about sexual education. Hermione told them that she worked at a boarding school and was the school nurse. She had recently come into the position of having to teach a class on sexual education, as well as other health related topics. She thought that it was important to have supplies on hand, in the event that they were needed by students. Although, school rules strictly prohibited that sort of relationship among the students.

***

In the waiting room of their first stop, Severus was highly uncomfortable. There had been models placed around the waiting room. Hermione had left him sitting in the waiting room while she met with the doctor the appointment was made with. He was staring at an anatomically correct pelvis of a male. He felt as though the semi-erect phallus was mocking him. He tried to look away, but was greeted with the female counter-parts, which he found just as awkward to look at in plastic form.

Merlin, Hermione, hurry up!

Turning to his other side, he saw an end table with some magazines placed on them. The top ones were of no help; they were all about parenthood. There were also a few magazines full of celebrity gossip. He selected the lesser evil and began thumbing through a magazine proclaiming a scandal. Some actress had walked in on her husband in bed with his ex-wife. It appears as though he had left his wife after cheating on her for quite some time with the girl in question. I can't believe people actually pay to read this garbage!

Hermione left her meeting carrying a big box full of various things. She had some pamphlets of information, as well as hundreds of condoms; some flavoured, some coloured, they even had some that would glow in the dark! Hermione placed the box down in the chair next to Severus. He didn't look up. He was intent on his reading material. She had the impulse to run her hand through his hair, but decided against it. She placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke his name quietly. It came out a bit huskier than she had realised it would.

Severus seemed confused for a moment; then his stoic mask was back in place again. "Took you long enough!"

"My apologies!" Hermione spat back at him. She picked the box back up before she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the doorway. "Come on, I've got one more stop I need to make!" He looked bewildered, but didn't argue any further. She dragged him into a secluded ally before she performed a shrinking charm on the box she was carrying. She handed it to Severus with the order to put it into his pocket.

"What for?"

"Do I look like I have a place to carry it?" she snapped back at him.

"If you do, I'd hate to find out where," he replied back to her with a smirk.

Hermione continued to pull Severus into a grocery store. She proceeded to buy about fifty bananas, and then dragged Severus back to the alley to shrink down those bags and pass them off to Severus as well.

"There, now we can go to get what you need." She smiled at him, and they walked back towards wizarding London to visit the apothecary.

Later that evening

Hermione found herself having a difficult time focusing on her potions work. She had asked specifically to help him, but she kept getting distracted by him. She would watch his graceful, calculated movements as he chopped the various ingredients that they needed. The tender attention he put into a cauldron while he was brewing to make sure that it was a perfect potion. She was snapped out of her reverie by her name being barked. "Miss Granger! If you don't intend to watch your potion, then why did you offer to assist?"

"I was watching it!"

"About as well as Mr. Longbottom had watched his potions." The snide remark about her abilities hurt. She was furious.

"You are a foul-tempered man, and I'm sick of taking your crap! You haven't said a single nice thing to me since I've been here! Come to think of it, I don't think you've ever said a single nice thing about me. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me. You're not perfect you know. So get off your high horse, and give people the proper praise they deserve!"

God she's hot when she's angry!

"Praise, Miss Granger? You want to be praised for being an insufferable know-it-all? You want praise for trying to blow up my lab and attempt to kill us both? I see nothing you've done worthy of praise!"

Hermione growled in frustration before calling him, "Bastard!" and storming out of the room.

Chapter Eight: Mission: Embarrass Snape

It was time for class with the fifth year students again. She started class by greeting her students.

"Good morning!" They replied back in unison.

"I've got a special surprise for all of you today." She began her lesson, and mutters sprinkled the classroom. They had no idea what could top last class. She waved her wand, and a banana appeared in front of each student. They muttered to each other in more confusion. Clearing her throat, she called their attentions back to the front of the classroom. She picked up a small package and held it up for everyone to see. "This," pointing to the package, "is a condom. They are best kept in a cool, dry place. They all have expiration dates on them and are best used before then, of course. The package should be a bit squishy to the touch, which means that there is air in it." She ripped open the package and picked up a banana of her own. "What I would like you to practice today, is putting a condom onto your banana." She removed her condom and placed it on the tip of the banana. "The proper way to put it on is to simply unroll it. Be sure to pinch the tip to make sure there is a reservoir where the semen will stay. Once it's been properly unrolled, make sure you smooth it out so there aren't any air bubbles. That's the most common reason why they break."

She waved her wand again, and packets appeared next to each student. They began opening their own packages and trying to cover the bananas.

"Eww! It's so slimy!" one girl squeaked.

A few students couldn't manage to unroll their condoms.

"If it's on backwards, just flip it over for now, but if that happened in an actual experience, you should just get a new one since you would have contaminated both sides of the condom," Hermione called out.

"Do you think this could be used as a water balloon?" One girl asked her neighbour. She was a Muggle-born, of course.

"These smell funny," a particularly high maintenance Slytherin girl proclaimed.

"This would never fit on me; I'm too big for them," one boy confidently told the girl sitting next to him.

She giggled in response.

Hermione overheard the comment about it not fitting. "Professsor Snape?" she asked him gently.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" he responded, but was a little frightened of what she intended to do.

"Could I have your assistance for a minute, please?"

He walked over to her and complied with her request. "I cannot stress this fact enough. If a boy tells you that a condom just won't fit him because he's 'too big,' he's lying to you. Condoms are very stretchy. Professor, please hold up your hand."

"I'm sorry, hold up my what?"

"Your hand, Professor, nothing more." He begrudgingly held his hand up for the class to see. She then began unrolling a condom over it. It did indeed stretch to fit over his whole hand. She even demonstrated the point by having him ball up his fist, and pull on the condom.

"Wow!" "That's so cool!" "It didn't even rip!" were some of the comments that spread throughout the room.

Once everyone seemed to get a condom onto their banana, she called their attention again to request them to remove the condom. "The proper way to dispose of a condom is to hold the tip, and begin rolling it off. Be sure to keep the condom up right, you wouldn't want any bodily fluids to find their way out. Once you have removed it, tie a knot in it, very much like you would tie the end of a balloon. This keeps all biological material inside of the condom. I can't stress enough that you should throw it into the trash and not flush it down the toilet. I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to find a used condom on the beach when I'm walking around."

There were sounds of disgust whispered throughout the room before they started to take off the condoms.

"Professor, I think it's stuck!" one girl called out.

"Well, you heard the girl, Professor, she needs your help!" Hermione teased Snape.

Severus glared at Hermione and stalked off to the girl in question. He roughly took the banana in his hands. It's so wrong, but it's so hot! He followed the instructions Hermione had given on proper removal. Once the condom was started he handed her back the banana, disgusted. He marched back up to the front of the room, where Hermione had an evil smile firmly in place.

"I hope you enjoyed that, because you're never going to see it again!" he growled, only loud enough for Hermione to hear.

Once class was dismissed, Severus rounded on Hermione. "What was the meaning of that?" he asked without giving her a chance to respond. "Placing a condom on my person in the middle of class! I've never been so embarrassed! And to make matters worse, then you make me assist some silly little girl in the removal of that... thing from a piece of produce!" With every word he said, he became closer and closer to Hermione. When he had completed his ranting, his face was inches from hers. Hermione did not think, she just instinctively pressed her lips against his own. It had been rather erotic, feeling his ragged breathing against her lips. She felt a flooding of desire surge below her robes when their lips made contact.

He pulled away roughly, and she searched his eyes for a sign that he was not disgusted with her for kissing him. His face was full of bewilderment, shock, and could that be, passion? She leaned closer to him, and he did not pull away. Her voice had become husky with passion and arousal.

"Kiss me again, Severus." His name sounded like a hiss leaving her lips. The way she demanded his attentions struck a cord deep within him. He found himself complying to her request before his mind was able to tell him not to. His lips roughly fastened themselves onto hers. A soft moan escaped the back of her throat as his tongue flicked against her lips. She complied automatically, opening her mouth for him to explore. Her tongue came out to meet his, and they were softly massaging each other, trying to overpower and gain entrance into the other's mouth.

His arms had wrapped around Hermione, and he pushed her towards the desk. She positioned herself at the edge of the desk, just leaning on it. Her legs were spread further apart by his as he pushed himself closer to her body. Her hands were trying to pull up the hem of her robes. She finally managed to pool them around her waist, revealing her short skirt below them. Her hands moved to unfasten his trousers and free his erection from their confines. She hissed his name once more, begging him to penetrate her. She muttered a spell while he lifted her short skirt higher on her thighs. He was surprised to see that she was not wearing any knickers.

"Miss Granger, you are a kinky little wench. Teaching students without any knickers on." He tsked her actions. His silky voice had dropped in timbre; he too was in a high state of arousal. He did not wait any longer before pushing himself into her. He took her roughly upon the desk, pounding into her. Their breathing was rapid and laboured. She moaned a few times against his neck and bit down on his shoulder as she came, trembling around his shaft. He made a few more thrusts before he reached his orgasm too. He stayed within her for a few moments longer, treasuring the look of her, eyes glazed over with passion, absent-mindedly chewing on her lower lip.

After he pulled out, he performed a few quick cleansing charms on their exposed areas. He swept out of the classroom without another word.

***

Words you probably know, but I'll tell you anyway.

Jumper- A sweater or some sort of upper body covering

Phallus- A penis

Knickers- whatever form of "underpants" you'd like to refer to them as.

I know it's been a bit of a long haul to get the characters in canon, but by the end of the story they'll be knocked right back out of place.