Working Things Out

Disclaimer: I've borrowed some of Rowling's characters again. Muahahaha. I'll return them when I can.

Thanks go to CocoaChristy for reading over this for me.

Harry frowns sadly as I talk. I know that he doesn't like what he's hearing, but I can't stop myself from pouring out my feelings to him. "It's what I wanted and yet not. I love Ron, really. I just... Why can't I stop this yearning for Charlie? I could have Disapparated away. I didn't."

"You said it happened so fast though," he says, trying to make excuses for me.

"I led him on," I admit. "I let the kisses continue, and then..." I look away.

"Do you want to break things off with Ron?" he asks dejectedly.

"I should."

~o~

I've never seen Hermione look so upset, and I must say that I'm shocked that she and Charlie... had sex. I wasn't gone that long, and Ron made certain that we went to them right away, having a bad feeling about Charlie's motives.

Ron told me months back what he'd seen with Charlie and Hermione and how he'd had a deal with his brother. I'd simply been surprised that Charlie had fallen in love with Hermione, what with how little they'd seen of each other. You can't help whom you love. Maybe Ron and Hermione just weren't meant to be.

~o~

"Harry? Aren't you listening? I... I don't know what to do," I say, confusion lacing my voice. "I love Ron. He's stable, he loves me, his parents approve, and he..."

"What do you feel about Charlie?"

"Angry. He leaves, doesn't owl, nothing! When he does come round, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of me and seems shocked that I don't have to touch or be with him!"

"Love?"

"I... Well, I do care. Truly. I've always wanted to know how it could be with him...not just sex either." I frown, hating the disappointment. "That's ruined now."

~o~

"Well, why's it ruined?" I ask her curiously.

"It was nothing like I'd expected. H-he didn't respect me." She shakes her head and sits down on her bed with a thump. "He just took without asking to make certain it was all right, not caring if I'm taking contraceptives." She brings her hands up to cover her face. "Good God."

"Are you?" I ask uncertainly. I know that she and Ron have sex on a regular basis...when they can...but I've no idea about their precautions.

"No, not since before my last... cycle."

"Oh." I pale when she does.

~o~

"Wouldn't that be ironic?" I ask Harry sarcastically. How could Charlie have been such a dunderhead? I know that things can be a bit spontaneous sometimes, but even Ron's not gone as far as to throw out all thought of contraceptives. Nor have I ever allowed it. You didn't know he was going to shag you, a voice defends. I have to agree with it. So fast. So sudden. I wasn't prepared. Or didn't really care, another voice said.

"We'll get through this, Hermione. Come back with me."

"I don't think that I could face anyone there. Not now anyway."

~o~

"How about we slip in and just talk to Ron."

"Are you mad? I can't tell him that I slept with Charlie!"

"He probably figured that out. I mean, you were crying... so was Charlie. You both looked disheveled."

"Charlie won't tell him."

"He'll know," I insist. I care for Hermione like a sister and hate to see her hurting, but she has to own up to what's happened and face Ron. "Come on."

"Go to him for me. Tell him to meet me here so we can talk privately."

"I can do that." I kiss her cheek before Disapparating.

~o~

Waiting for Ron is proving to be quite the task. My stomach is roiling nervously. Flashes of what happened with Charlie keep passing through my mind. Should I tell Ron? Why not just pretend it never happened? He and I could carry on as before and live out our lives happily.

That's ridiculous.

I can't hide from the fact that something in our relationship is not right. I wanted those kisses and caresses from Charlie. Deep down I relished his taste and feel. I simply hate myself for wanting them, knowing it's wrong. I hate myself for not being stronger.

~o~

"Harry said you wanted to talk to me," I say from Hermione's doorway. She looks pale and has been crying. I'm angry, but I try not to show it. I don't want to lose her.

"W-we need to talk, Ronald," she says shakily.

I dread this conversation. "All right then. Where do you want to start?"

"The first talk you had with Charlie."

Sitting next to her and taking her in my arms, I explain what I saw, how I felt, and the reasons I begged him to give me a chance...even how knowing they still cared affected me.

~o~

I've never felt more unappreciative in my life. All this time I've been pining for Charlie and never truly realized what an amazing man I had the entire time. "I love you, Ron, but tonight... tonight..."

He senses what I want to say and presses a finger against my lips. "It didn't happen."

Harry had been right. Ron knew...had sensed it somehow. I smile sadly and nod. "It did, and the bad thing is that there was no potion or spell that we used to..."

"Shhh."

"But I might be..."

"Shhh."

"But what if I am..."

~o~

I know what she's trying to say, but somehow I know if I don't hear it out loud I can deal with it better. People make mistakes. I'd made a mistake with Gabrielle in the kitchen and told Hermione about it. She'd repeated that mistake with Charlie. I'd made a mistake with Lavender a couple of months back when I was pissed. Now she's done the same with Charlie. I didn't tell her about mine, so I don't want to hear about hers. It's the only way we can make it.

"If so," I whisper, "it's mine, and that's it."

~o~

Part of my burden has lifted. He knows. He understands. He still wants me. "Why do you love me so much?" I ask suddenly.

"Well, I love you because..." His voice trails away.

I wait as he closes his eyes and searches for the words. Several moments pass, and he doesn't speak. "Ron?"

"I just do," he says finally.

I blink rapidly. He can't even name one reason he loves me. "That's rich," I say in irritation.

"Why do you love me?" he retorts.

"I just do," I toss back at him in a clever moment.

"Is it enough?"

"Yes."

~o~

I know she's disappointed that I didn't have a list ready for her as to why I love her, and I'm shocked that my answer was nearly 'because it's what everyone expects, because you're always here, because you're something stable in my life' or something like that.

So I can't exactly say why? I just know that she's my world. Clearing my throat, I say, "Charlie's promised that he's not going to bother you again."

"All right. I'll keep my distance."

"He's still my family," I say suddenly. "I can't fault the bloke for falling for the same amazing girl."

~o~

"Amazing?" I ask. "Sometimes I feel as if I'm only something convenient for you. Do you really feel that way?"

"Convenient? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, like you're only with me because it's... stable or what everyone expects."

He frowns and blushes. "You're amazing and the perfect girl for me."

My heart warms. "Sometimes I feel a bit lonely. It's like you are more concerned about Harry and the war. I just... need more of you."

"Bloody hell. You have all of me," he says defensively. "Don't act like I only think of you as a shag!"

~o~

In that moment I wonder if maybe Hermione hasn't chosen the wrong brother. I can't say the things she wants me to say, make her feel the way she wants to feel, and some of the solid reasoning that I have to be with her seems unacceptable as reasons to her.

"Sorry," she says, lips trembling.

I kiss them before she can cry. She's holding back. I feel it and carry on anyway. "You're so much more than a shag," I manage.

The tears in her eyes startle me, telling me she's been wanting to hear those words very badly.

~o~

Seemingly some good has come of what happened. Ron looks as if he's going to try to be more open with me, try to say the things I crave, try to give me the soft touches and kisses that I long for... I'm so tired of sneaking around, only having quick shags. I want him to be like...I have to stop thinking like this.

Charlie. I'll have to get him out of my head to make certain that I am faithful to Ron completely. Noticing his eyes are glistening, I ask, "What's wrong?"

"I want you to be safe."

~o~

"I will be," she says, cupping my face with her soft hands.

"Stay here with your parents."

"No."

"You must," I say, suddenly terrified of losing her, of having her face anymore battles like the one we'd been in earlier or the worse ones to come.

"This is my cause, too. I'll not just walk away from it."

"At least stay back with Ginny and help out with strategy or the injured." I sigh. "I can't take another one like tonight."

"We're fine."

"I ran off to fetch help while you and Harry stayed behind. Right brave of me, that."

~o~

"Why are you doing this?" I ask him. "You did what needed to be done. We came out all right." I frown. "Well enough, I mean..."

"Yeah, because my brother rides a fucking dragon!" he exclaims, rising to pace. "I can't deal with another tonight...us being separated. Promise me you'll stay behind when I ask." He kneels before me. "It's too hard to handle myself when I'm fearing for both you and Harry." He nods as if realizing something. "It's why Harry makes Ginny stay."

I hug him tightly and whisper, "You're one of the bravest men I know."

~o~

Something occurs to me. I'm worried about her, but death could find me as well. And if that should happen...my gut clenches tightly...I would want her to be happy and safe.

"Hermione, if something happens to me, I want you to know that I wouldn't mind..."

"Nothing will happen!"

"Stop, love, and listen." I hold her hands in my own. "Charlie, he loves you. I'm not sure how or why, but if something happens to me, he would take care of you."

"I don't want to talk about Charlie just now! You're my choice, Ron. You alone."

~o~

The prospect of losing Ron has upset me more than I ever imagined. Life would not be the same without him... or Harry. I always lived without Charlie. He only comes round once in a while, but this would be devastating.

"I'm just saying. Don't you feel guilty if I'm not here," he says quietly. "Live for me. Fight for me." His lips find mine for a small kiss.

I nod, realizing what he's saying is true. "I want you to do the same for me," I say. "If something should happen, I just want you to be happy. Promise?"

~o~

Smiling at her, I say, "I will." It feels as if I'm a bit lighter. She loves me, and while she cares for Charlie still, she's willing to put that aside and give me her heart and her life. For the first time in my life, I've bested my perfect brother at something.

There is a sudden crash and scream below, and instinct quickly takes over. We jump up with our wands out while I pull the Portkey out of my pocket, reactivate it, and press it into her hands.

"My parents!"

"I'll see to them."

"No!"

"You promised me!"

~o~

"Please!" I say, wanting to run down to see what's going on, but knowing that it's likely a raid on my family's home by Death Eaters.

He is on the verge of agreeing with me when the door bangs open, shards of wood flying about. The billowing, dark robes and white mask of a Death Eater barges in.

"What have we here?"

Ron jumps in front of me as the man's wand is pointed my way, and I clutch his robes to keep him from falling with his momentum. A jet of green light envelops us as the Portkey activates.

Southern's Notes: I'm well over my limit, so I had to stop here. Evil cliffy, I know, but I'm curious to see if anyone can guess what's happened. Quite obvious, eh? One chapter left.

Christy's Notes: The conversation between them was quite sad. I felt sorry for Ron and for her confusion, too. She wants to do what's right, but who knows what the right thing is?