Finding the Courage

Disclaimer: I'm playing round with the characters JKR created again. I'll return them unscathed when I'm done.

Thanks go to CocoaChristy for looking this over for me. JenKM1216 has influenced me; after reading hers, I felt like trying these little drabbles out.

Her brown hair bounced wildly as she plodded down my family's stairs on her way to the kitchen. I wanted very much to reach out and touch her long locks with my fingers, but I knew that I could not. To do so would change many things and disrupt our family.

Just last night, she passed by me closely on her way up to the room she shares with my sister. The scent of her freshly washed hair wafted up and invaded my senses. I would have given anything to have her stop and lean her head against my shoulder.

~~~

I see him watching me; he doesn't know. I wonder why he's always lurking about each time I turn around. Does he feel some sort of kinship with me? I wish that it were so, for I could really use someone to talk to. All's changed now that Dumbledore's gone.

As closely as I dare, I walk near him, enjoying the faint scent of his cologne. I often wonder if he's put it on for me... or to impress Fleur? That thought bothers me. She gets everyone's adoration already. Couldn't at least one person here hold some affection for me?

~~~

She smiles so prettily; it's insanity that nobody else takes note. Can they not see that it is she, Hermione, who is the princess at our table? It's certainly not Fleur, for she hasn't the heart, internal beauty, nor the courage that's hers. It's clear that my brother finds her attractive, and he definitely wants to shag her. However, he's not making the move that he should. I must force myself to gather the courage to have a word or two with her before the wedding because after that, it will be too late. I'll be gone, out of reach.

~~~

He's so handsome; that's plain to see. I wish that I could find a moment to speak with him privately, but I'm uncertain as to how to make that approach. What would I say? What if I've misread things? I wouldn't be able to bear the shame. Ron leans closer, his thigh brushing mine. I wish that it was his brother's instead. As if reading my thoughts, his gaze firmly meets mine. It's at this point that I decide that I must speak with him before the wedding. If I don't find a way to do so, he'll be gone.

~~~

I watch her leave the table and go off for a silent walk out in the back gardens and decide that it's time to follow. Perhaps I can stage a coincidental meeting. Nobody could prove it to be otherwise, not even she.

Excusing myself, I quickly find a moonlit path that will lead me to her. From the way she'd gazed at me during dinner, I could swear that she felt the same fascination as I. Turning a corner, I hear another voice; she's not alone now. It would figure that at this moment, Ron would get wise. Disappointment abounds.

~~~

A hand on my shoulder prompts me to turn around. To my dismay, it's Ron who's followed me out. I wonder if he's finally decided to make his move and gaze at him expectantly. Has he finally decided which it will be: Lavender or me?

"It's a bit cool out tonight," he whispers.

"It is," I reply.

"I don't like you out here alone."

"The wedding is coming. The house is so full and noisy. I just wanted some time alone."

"Come in when you're done."

I nod that I will and watch his retreat, noting the retreat of another.

~~~

I don't want to go right back into the house. A little fresh air will help quell my disappointment. I don't know what I was thinking, following her out. She should be for Ron while I should be for another. It was simply the way of things: me being born too soon or her too late...too many years apart for a real chance.

A twig snaps behind me, pulling me from my thoughts. I swallow thickly. It's her.

"I saw you walking away," she says quietly.

"I did."

"Why?"

"You were not alone."

"I am now."

My heartbeat quickens.

~~~

Well, I've done it. I've made the first move. But first move towards what? Surely our futures lie on different paths, only a simple attraction, if that, drawing us together now. He's staring at me quite intently, red hair moving in the slight breeze. My throat becomes dry. I feel as if I've made a mistake. What will he tell Ron? What will Mrs. Weasley think when she learns I boldly approached a different son? I could always explain that I wasn't inviting anything, only making conversation.

"I'm sorry," I say, turning to leave.

A single word stops me. "Wait."

~~~

She's approached me, and my silence nearly causes her to retreat. I cannot let her leave without having my say. Words fail me as she steps back closer. Instead I place a hand under her chin, lifting her face so that her eyes stare into mine. I see uncertainty, curiosity, and hope.

"My brother loves you," I blurt for reasons unknown to me.

"Does he?"

Her voice is so soft, words flowing from the softest lips. I am mesmerized. Mine drift closer, suddenly grazing, pressing, and caressing hers. Lips part, tongues tangle, and explorations commence. I'm lost in her kiss.

~~~

He's kissing me...passionately yet gently. His kiss was unexpected but welcome. The dim days ahead of me suddenly shine with a new light. I know in my heart that he'll never be mine, but for this moment, this one time, in this kiss, he belongs to me.

My stomach tingles as one hand moves down to grip my arse and pull me closer to him while the other clutches my hair. The moment my pelvis moves against his body, he moans and intensifies our kiss. In return, his hips gyrate, pushing a hard bulge against my stomach.

"Oh, my..."

~~~

Her words break the spell, and I realize what I'm doing. This is Hermione, she's innocent, and my brother should be the one to claim it. I dare not apologize for kissing her because it's something I'll never feel sorry about.

Our kiss ends, and I rest my forehead against hers as we both catch our breaths. After a few moments pass, I whisper, "We can't."

She replies evenly, "I know."

"I just had to know..."

"As did I."

Our lips meet again of their own volition, and I wonder if I'll ever be able to resist her. Not likely.

~~~

His mouth and his hands feel so good on me. It's this closeness that I've been craving. I wanted it with Ron, but he is always so unsure about us. Whereas I was disheartened about being lonely and feeling as though I am possibly near the end of my life, what with the war, I now feel as if I'll at least have a little something to think of when times get too tough.

"A secret then?" he asks, knowing I'll understand.

"Yes."

We'll not go any farther than what we already have: snogging, touching, and holding. Dreaming of more.

~~~

I wish that I could tell Hermione all that I'm feeling about how I wish Ron wouldn't want her, how I wish she wanted only me, and how I wish that I could remain and help them with whatever they must now face. This isn't possible...any of it. There is no reason to deny ourselves the pleasure of a mostly innocent companionship when we can steal a few moments alone.

"Someone will come looking for you," I say, realizing our tryst has come to an end.

She flashes a brilliant smile, nods, and says, "Goodnight, Charlie."

"Slip away later."

~~~

I enter the house feeling like a new woman...one who was actually desired by someone who sees her for something more than just a convenient girl. I look at Fleur and Bill as they talk with Mrs. Weasley about a few wedding plans, and for the first time, I do not envy the attention she receives or her beauty. If Charlie can overlook her to gaze at me, I can't be all that plain.

I make my way over to where Harry and Ron are playing chess.

"All right, Hermione?" Harry asks.

"Never better," I reply. And it's true.

Southern's Notes: Well, that was different for me. I have no idea how the heck that happened, but I've written my first Charlie and Hermione tale...not that it was anything deep, but I enjoyed the sweetness of it all. I was trying to be sneaky so people would think that it was Bill at first. Anyone get tricked? Hehe!

Christy's Notes: What a wonderful set of drabbles! I was totally engrossed, and I hated to see it end! I really loved it, Sun! Good job!