Chapter 2

Authors' Notes: This is a collaboration between JenKM1216 and Alauralen.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. We are simply borrowing her characters and adding our own plot. We are not making any money from writing this story.

Beta: Many thanks to the wonderful Notsosaintly for her awesome beta skills!

Sweet Revenge

Chapter Two

Severus pulled out his wand and said, "Wingardium Leviosa."

When nothing happened, he cast it again. Still nothing. He tried every spell he could think of, but nothing worked. Severus sighed. He'd clearly underestimated the two Hogwarts dropouts.

Severus weighed his options. He could call out that he'd given up. Perhaps they would let him go then. "What am I thinking?" he muttered.

Changing his train of thought, he wondered if he called out he'd given up, would set him free? Then he could hex them. No, they were foolish, but not stupid. If they were completely void of all intelligence, they wouldn't have been able to combine the illegal ingredients to make a working product.

Shaking his head, he sat down and pondered his position further.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"What do you reckon is going through his mind right now?" Fred asked.

George shook his head. "What was going through his mind when he joined the Death Eaters?"

"Good point," Fred said. "Let's have a bit of fun with him then."

George smiled widely. "That sounds like an excellent plan, Fred!"

Fred picked up a microphone next to the enchanted television. "I'm so glad Dad introduced us to Muggle technology, George." Plugging the microphone into the television, he said, "Hello, Severus Snape. This is God."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Severus rolled his eyes when the voice boomed through the shop, proclaiming itself to be God. Maybe the troublesome twins were as stupid as he'd initially thought. Severus kept silent, wondering what they'd do if he refused to play their game.

"God is angry, Severus Snape. Breaking and entering with the intent to harm is a sin."

Severus was sure he heard sniggering in the background. Very likely it was the twin of "God" laughing. Taking a few deep breaths, he desperately tried to calm himself.

Suddenly, Severus smiled. "God, I have a question for you."

"God is prepared to answer," the obnoxious twin said.

"Would it be a sin for me to start firing random hexes at the products in this shop?" Severus congratulated himself as the voice stayed silent for a moment.

"Yes, that would be considered a sin. However, I'd be more worried about said products exploding in spectacular fashion."

Severus was certain he heard laughing in the background that time. "And people wonder why I hate children," he mumbled. Smiling to himself, he dropped the Disillusionment Charm. He didn't want the twins to miss a thing. Pointing his wand, he readied himself to cast a Blasting Curse.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Fred, I think he's going to start firing around our store anyway!" George pointed at the television screen in dismay.

"He's crazier than we thought," Fred said, quickly pushing a flashing red button next to the television.

They watched their former potions professor smile smugly.

"I think that's one of the scariest things I've ever seen," Fred said.

"If I never see that man smile again, it'll be too soon," George said, visibly shuddering.

"Wait, what's he doing?" Fred asked.

They leaned toward the monitor in unison.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Severus watched the cage lift and disappear into the ceiling just before he cast his Blasting Curse. He smiled widely as he ambled away from the vicinity of the cage. A smirk on his face, he picked up a few random products and carried them to the window. The inside of the store was dark, but the garish signs outside provided ample light for him to examine the items.

Ton-Tongue Toffees, U-No-Poo, and Canary Creams. He frowned, thinking of his recent experience in which he became a large, yellow bird. He must have been slipped a Canary Cream. Turning the package over, he began reading the description.

Pulling a quill and some parchment from his pocket, he began making notes.

Patrolling around the shop, he noted each object, pocketing a few self-inking quills along the way. He hated to admit it, really hated it, but the twins were geniuses. The innovation put into each product was amazing.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Fred and George watched as Snape made notes about each product.

"What do you think he's up to now?" Fred asked.

George looked at his brother and frowned. "He's making notes about our products. He's going to give Filch a list of items to ban."

"Great, there goes our business," Fred said.

"Oh, no, dear brother. Our dear, former teacher has just given us a way to charge more for the same product," George said, smiling widely and thumping his brother on the back.

"What's going through your brilliant mind?" Fred asked.

"If we have to disguise our products and mail them to our customers, we can charge twice as much," George said.

Fred could have sworn that George's eyes glistened with tears of joy at the thought of the extra money they'd be raking in soon.

"I think I love Professor Snape," George said, smiling at the television monitor.

Fred laughed. "Before you proclaim your love for the greasy git, we need to find a way to keep him from turning us in for the slightly... uncommon items we've used in our products."

"Right you are, Fred," George said.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Severus wasn't surprised when the twins emerged from a door behind the cash counter.

"Ah, Professor Snape," one of them said. Severus never could tell the two of them apart. "To what do we owe the pleasure of a late night visit?"

"Well, 'God,'" Severus said, "we have business."

The twins took on an air of innocence that must have sent off warning bells clear to The Burrow. "God?" the other twin asked. "Were you hit in the head by the cage as it came down?"

Severus snorted. "Do you actually think you can lie to me?" he asked.

"Perhaps not," one of them said.

"I could have you both sent to Azkaban for some of these products," Severus said. He held up a case of Snackboxes.

"Ah, my dear man," one of the twins said in a patronizing voice. "If you'd like to make threats, we'll take you down with us. Last we checked, breaking and entering..."

"And shoplifting," the other interrupted, pointing at Severus' robe pocket.

"...were illegal," they finished together.

Not as stupid as I thought at all, Severus thought in what was eerily close to approval.

"We have a proposition for you," one of the twins said.

Severus silently cursed his inability to tell them apart.

"You're a Potions master. If you were to brew the potions with the ingredients, then our products wouldn't be illegal since the Ministry allows Potions masters to work with sanctioned ingredients." The twin smiled smugly.

Mimicking his brother's smile, the other said, "And we might be convinced to forget about your illegal activities tonight if you were to brew the potions for us."

"My illegal activities are nothing compared to yours," Severus said, glaring darkly at the young men. "However, I want a cut of the profits."

"No," the twins said in unison.

"I do you a favor to keep myself out of trouble. You do me a favor to keep yourselves out of trouble. That's the deal or I will turn you in, despite my activities tonight." Severus smirked as the twins exchanged looks of defeat.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

So, Severus and the twins came to an understanding. Severus still couldn't believe that he was standing at his cauldron brewing potions for the twins to use in their shop. He had been reluctant to do anything to help them; however, they did have the breaking and entering, as well as the shoplifting, on him. Therefore, he would brew their potions since he was a Potions master, and it wasn't illegal for him to do it.

Severus did indeed turn the list that he had made in to Filch. But since the twins had come up with an ingenious way to package their products, sales were not down at all. In fact, none of them had ever dreamed that the joke shop would do so well. Fortunately, the threat of making up missed potions classes kept Severus from having too much trouble with his potions students. The other teachers would just have to deal with their own problems.

Severus also got his percentage of the profits from the twins when they sold a product that contained his potions. He had to concede, in the end, that the arrangement was working out nicely. He really couldn't complain about the deal when he saw his Gringott's vault full of Galleons.