Chapter One

Authors' Notes: This is a collaboration between JenKM1216 and Alauralen.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. We are simply borrowing her characters and adding our own plot. We are not making any money from writing this story.

Beta: Many thanks to the wonderful Phoenix for her awesome beta skills!

Chapter One

The Golden Trio sat in the Gryffindor common room, having rushed back from dinner. They had been quick to notice that their second most hated teacher, next to Umbridge, Severus Snape, had not been present in the Great Hall. They had eaten as fast as they could and were the first ones back. Harry and Ron wanted to know what Snape was up to, whereas Hermione wanted to finish her Arithmancy homework.

"Do you think he's with Voldemort right now?" Harry asked angrily.

"I'll bet he is," Ron agreed, nodding his head vigorously.

Hermione looked up from her parchment and gave them both a withering look. "Dumbledore trusts Snape. Can't the two of you find something else to talk about? Like your Potions essay?"

Harry and Ron both ignored her.

"I wonder if Dobby would know whether or not Snape has left the grounds?" Harry mused.

"We could go ask him. It wouldn't hurt, you know," Ron replied.

"Right, let's go," Harry said, standing. "Are you coming, Hermione?"

"Yeah, maybe you could talk to them about spew," Ron said jeeringly.

"It is S.P.E.W., not spew," Hermione replied angrily. "I am going to finish my homework. O.W.L.s are just around the corner. If you two want to get any at all, you would do well to forget about where Snape is and study." She gave them both reproving looks before turning back to the parchment in front of her.

Harry and Ron exchanged exasperated looks before turning to the portrait hole. Ron paused and turned back to pull something from his school bag. In answer to Harry's questioning look, he said, "Canary Cream. I thought that Dobby would get a kick out of it."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Once they made their way to the kitchens, the boys were immediately surrounded by house-elves.

"Harry Potter, sir!" Dobby exclaimed gleefully as he launched himself through the crowd of elves to hug Harry's knees. "Dobby is surprised to be seeing you! Can Dobby gets you something?"

"Some of those chocolate éclairs would be nice," Ron said, looking amused.

A bunch of elves took off to fetch the éclairs, while Harry detached Dobby. Kneeling in front of the delighted elf, he quietly asked, "Dobby, do you know where Snape is? Has he left the castle?"

"No, Harry Potter. Professor Snape is in his labs working," Dobby replied in a whisper, looking nervous.

Ron, who had leaned down to listen to the conversation, said, "But he wasn't in the Great Hall for dinner."

"No, he orders dinner to be sent to his labs," Dobby replied, pointing to a plate on a tray on the table next to them. "We was just abouts to sends it to him."

Ron straightened up to accept the éclairs brought to him on a tray by a bunch of house elves. "Thanks," he said gratefully, picking one up.

Once Harry and Ron had loaded up their pockets, they left the kitchens. They were almost back to the portrait of the Fat Lady when Harry realized Ron had forgotten to give Dobby the Canary Cream.

"Oh, I didn't forget; I just found a better use for it," Ron said with a mischievous laugh.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Severus Snape sat in his lab going over his research for a very intricate potion he was to brew for the headmaster. His dinner appeared next to him on the desk. He barely gave the plate a glance and began to eat while still reading over his notes.

He was finished before he even realized it and noticed that the elves had even sent him something for desert, some kind of Custard Cream. Absentmindedly picking it up, he took a bite. He was more than surprised when his entire body erupted in feathers. When he tried to yell, it came out as the chirp of a bird. Panic began to set in as he realized that his arms and hands had been replaced by wings. Then, as suddenly as he had changed into the bird, he changed back into himself, yellow feathers floating in the air around him.

Slightly shaken, and getting angrier each passing second, he stood up quickly, intending to go to the headmaster's office. Some student would pay for this, and he had a pretty good idea which one it would be. Potter. Halfway across the room, he froze. Dumbledore was not in the school, at least not to his knowledge. That damn Ministry bitch, Umbridge, had managed to force him to leave.

He made his way back to his desk, considering the possibilities. How had Potter managed to slip him that thing? It was an interesting spell. There was no way that The-Boy-Who-Vexed-Him or the Weasley idiot could have come up with it; they were just not talented enough for it. Granger would have been capable of something that complex, but he doubted that the Gryffindor Know-It-All would take the time out of her O.W.L. studies just to create something like that for Potter. It would definitely require some study.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Snape stalked down the hallway toward Umbridge's classroom. He knew she had a class of first years right now, but he didn't care. This was the third time this week that students had left his classroom due to nosebleeds, fever, vomiting, or fainting. If the Weasley twins were still in the school, he would have sworn that they were up to both the Custard Cream and all these mysterious systems, but they had left the school in spectacular fashion about two weeks ago. Then again, that was when all these curious things had begun to happen. Perhaps they had planned all this before leaving? Preposterous, they were not all that intelligent. But that swamp had been a truly elegant bit of magic, he admitted to himself, if to no one else.

Snape paused in both his musings and his steps as a first year Hufflepuff ran out of Umbridge's classroom with blood pouring from both nostrils. The Potions master ducked into an alcove not far from the boy and watched him shove something into his mouth. The blood immediately stopped flowing. The boy smirked nervously after he cleaned himself up with a handkerchief and began walking toward the place where Snape hid.

Snape stepped in front of the startled child with his best "Bastard of the Dungeons" look on his face. The boy let out a terrified squeak and looked as though he was considering making a run for it.

"Don't even think about it," Snape said in a deadly soft voice. "What did you just put in your mouth to stop that nosebleed, and where did you get it?"

Severus Snape glared down at the quivering Hufflepuff first year with a combination of disgust and triumph. He was finally going to discover where these blasted students were getting the means by which they had been avoiding his classes. Assuming the pathetic boy didn't manage to pass out or urinate on himself first.

"I-I b-bought it from F-Fred and George Weasley, s-sir," the boy answered in a trembling voice, tears filling his blue eyes.

Snape curled a lip in disgust. Bloody Hufflepuffs--so very emotional. "Fifty points from Hufflepuff and a week of detention with Mr. Filch starting tonight at six."

"Yes, sir," said the boy, eyes downcast.

Glancing at the slight bulge in the small boy's pocket, Snape smirked threateningly. "Turn out your pockets," he hissed.

The boy shoved his hand into his pocket immediately, never once thinking to disobey his irate teacher. He produced several small squares and held them out in his shaking hand.

Picking them up gingerly, Snape examined them momentarily. "What are they, and what do they do?" he demanded. "Explain in detail."

In a quivering voice, the boy said, "They are called Skiving Snackboxes, used to get out of class, sir. This one is for nosebleeds. It is a Nosebleed Nougat." He pointed to one that was half red and half white. "You bite the red end off, and it makes your nose bleed. When you are out of class, you eat the white end and the nosebleed stops." Pointing to a brown and white one, he said, "This one is Fever Fudge. It causes a fever. The brown end is what causes the fever, and the white end clears it up."

"Are there others?" Snape said suspiciously, glaring at the trembling boy with a raised eyebrow.

Clearly shaken, the boy gasped, "Two others, sir. A Fainting Fancy, which is blue and white, and a Puking Pastille, which is rainbow colored and white."

"And do you have any of these others in your dorm?" Snape whispered menacingly.

"N-n-no, sir," the boy stammered in fear.

"Get back into your class," Snape ordered shortly.

The relieved child ran back to Umbridge's class, threw open the door, and dashed inside with one fearful look over his shoulder as though he thought that Snape would curse him. Snape glared at the boy until he disappeared. A small smile crept over his pale features. Snape turned and stalked back to his dungeons. He had some Snackboxes to study.

An hour later, Severus had ascertained that some of the ingredients used were highly illegal. He had enough information to send the troublesome twins to Azkaban for life. However, he wanted to know how many other products contained such illegal ingredients. They could be potentially dangerous if not utilized properly, and he knew that the dunderheaded Weasleys would probably not have done the proper research on them.

These thoughts in mind, he decided the best course of action was to enter their shop that night. If he showed up during the day, they would know he was up to something. No, he had to do this without their knowledge.

All those years of putting up with your dunderheaded foolishness. You two will regret putting me through all those years of hell as you blew up cauldron after cauldron, disrupting hundreds of classes throughout your tenure here. Oh, yes. The two of you are Azkaban bound in the morning, he thought, laughing maniacally as he prepared for the late night operation.

Just after midnight, he made his way stealthily through the halls of Hogwarts and to the gates. He Apparated with a barely audible pop to Diagon Alley. He thought that he might have some difficulty finding the Weasleys' place of business but found he was very wrong. The signs in the windows were fluorescent in color with flashing letters and, in some cases, moving pictures. Even in the dark, the displays in the windows hurt his eyes. He could only imagine how much worse it would be in the daytime when the sunlight was illuminating the posters to their full potential, screaming at anyone unfortunate enough to pass by.

After gaping at the shop for a few moments, he snorted in disgust. Glancing around, he made sure he was alone on the street. He cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself before approaching the store.

Alohomora, thought the Potions master, casting the charm nonverbally.

The lock on the door clicked open. Smirking, he reached out and turned the doorknob. Perhaps he had given the twins far too much credit. All they had to protect their precious livelihood was a simple locked door. How thick could they be?

He continued to gloat to himself as he stepped over the threshold. Suddenly, bars dropped down, blocking all the windows and the door he had just walked through.

"Bloody hell."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

An alarm went off in the twins' loft above their store. Both twins jumped out of bed, grabbed their wands, and met out in the hall.

"Someone's breaking in," Fred said unnecessarily.

"Better just be Dung and not Death Eaters," George replied, pale faced.

They quietly crept down the stairs to the door leading into the shop. On the back of the door hung a full-length mirror through which they could observe the shop.

"Show us who's there," Fred whispered to the mirror. Someone was in the room and they were Disillusioned. The twins could see the shimmering outline of a person. George hit a red button next to the mirror, causing bars to drop down, effectively trapping their burglar inside the shop.

As the bars fell down around all the doors and windows, the figure muttered, "Bloody hell."

Fred and George looked at each other in shock--shock that quickly turned into vindictive happiness. Large grins broke out over their identical faces.

"Well, it is a Death Eater," Fred said eagerly.

"Yes, but I think we can handle this one, don't you?"

"All those house points he took from us. I think he owes us, George."

"So do I, Fred. Did you set your traps? I set mine."

"Why, yes, George, I did."

"Brilliant! Shall we get some popcorn and watch then?" Fred asked gleefully.

"I do think we should," George agreed.