Not Your Average Gnome

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and review.

All canon characters belong to JKR.

Thanks to June for all of her suggestions and additions she's made to this chapter.

Chapter 15 – Not Your Average Gnome

Voldemort blinked quickly several times, wondering if he heard what he thought he heard. He looked down at his leathery looking body and realized he was small, very small. Not only was he small, but he had a long white beard and it seemed he was dressed rather oddly. He briefly thought he looked like a smaller version of Albus Dumbledore.

"Noooooooooo," he cried as he fell to his knees and began to pound on the mattress with his tiny hands.

Albus looked at the others and indicated he wanted to talk privately with Severus and Lucius. They walked to Poppy's office, while Minerva, Ron, Poppy, Ginny, and Hermione guarded the Dark Gnome.

"I doubt the Ministry will believe that this is Voldemort in a gnome's body," Albus said soberly. "Unless we tell them about Tom's spell, but that would require explaining that Tom first hid in Severus' body for ten years."

"Hermione destroyed the spell. And even if Arthur Weasley argued on my behalf, the Ministry would probably take me into custody for as long as they want, for examination and testing," Severus muttered.

Lucius shook his head. "I don't feel it necessary to get the Ministry involved. In a gnome's body, Voldemort cannot use a wand or magic, so he cannot move into another body. We could cast an Obliviate on him, but it would still be the Dark Lord's soul in that body. We cannot kill him in the gnome's body because gnomes are a protected species, although they are considered pests."

""Gods, we have the pest of all pests now." Severus mused aloud. "He has razor-sharp teeth, he could bite someone. We would have to do something about those,"

Albus shook his head. "We need to discuss this further, but for now, we will keep him in our custody and feed him."

The men walked back into the infirmary. Albus then walked to the bed and sat on the edge. He tentatively reached out and patted Voldemort's new gnome body on the back.

"There, there, Tom it's all right."

Voldemort raised himself and looked at Albus. "All right? All right? What could possibly be all right about my current situation, you old fool." He spat as he slapped Albus' hand away.

Minerva stepped forward and shook her finger at Voldemort.

"There's no need for name-calling."

Voldemort looked up at Minerva and stood with his hands on his hips.

"I'll call anyone anything I wish, you old prune!" He then plopped down and crossed his arms.

He was once one of the most feared wizards in the wizarding world. A man known as the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Lord Voldemort. And now, he was a twelve-inch gnome, who looked more like a minature version of Father Christmas than the serpent-like enemy they once knew. While he wouldn't think so at the time, Lord Voldemort was quite lucky. Most gnomes are known to be only a few inches high. But the gnomes around Hagrid's hut were special. The half-giant fed the little creatures well, and most of them ate plants growing around the hut, which were fertilized with Professor Sprout's special growing compound. He was still quite small though, since even house-elves would now be taller than him.

Voldemort shook his head. What had he become?

Severus and Lucius had been laughing so hard their ribs were hurting. Lucius was wiping his tears from his eyes when Albus motioned that he wanted to talk with him. At one point Severus had to excuse himself to use the bathroom because he nearly pissed all over himself. But now, the two ex-Death Eaters sat quietly watching the small gnome.

"What do we do with him?" asked Ron as gnome Voldemort turned his back to all of them.

"He looks rather harmless," said Poppy.

Ginny and Hermione both scowled at her.

"Harmless? He'll bite your kneecaps off, if you're not careful," added Ron. "I say we keep him in a cage, bring him out every so often and throw him around. That's how we de-gnome the Burrow's garden."

"Maybe he could help the elves in the kitchen?" offered Poppy.

Minerva placed her hand on her cheek. "We could always secure a small section for him in Professor Sprout's garden with a female gnome to watch over him."

Voldemort stood and threw his arms up in the air. "I'm sitting right here!" shouted Voldemort, as they'd all been talking as though he'd gone away. "Stop talking about me as though I can't understand you." He shook his head, as though that would wake him up from his nightmare.

"I refuse to live my life in this," he gestured to his body, "this body! I demand you get me a new body." He stomped his little foot.

"Get off it, tubby. Who in their right mind would want you taking over their body?" said Ron. Unfortunately, Ron had stepped too close to the bed, which allowed Voldemort to launch himself from the bed straight toward Ron's crotch.

"Ahhh, get him off, get him off!" cried Ron.

Albus immediately took hold of the squirming gnome Voldemort and pulled him away from Ron's crotch. He shook the gnome slightly and held him close to his face.

"Tom, now you calm yourself this instant. You have to accept the fact that you now inhabit this body. That's all there is to it. You can either accept that and move on, or you can spend the rest of your life sulking and being miserable."

Voldemort scowled and kicked Albus in the chin.

"That's it. If you can't be nice, then I am forced to put you in a cage until you have learned how to treat others with a bit more respect." Albus turned and walked out of the infirmary with the squirming Voldemort in his arms.

"Blimey, he's a mean little thing, even for a gnome," said Ron

"What are we supposed to call him now?" asked Ginny.

"I don't know, but I for one refuse to call him the Lord Gnome," stated Lucius.

~*~

Albus walked through the halls of the school holding Voldemort. After talking with Severus and Lucius, he'd planned on putting him in a cage in his office, but decided on a better location.

"Where are you taking me?" asked Voldemort warily. He'd only just realized he was no longer in any position to either be rude or demanding. He also feared he might have pushed the older wizard too far. Spending the next hundred or so years in a cage didn't sound very appealing. Perhaps if he was nice to the old fool he might squirm his way out of this. He might even apologize and act repentant, play on the Headmaster's weakness for giving folks a second chance.

"Albus, you didn't take what I did back there personally, now did you?" Voldemort giggled nervously. "You can't hold that against me; it was an honest reaction to my unexpected situation."

Albus continued walking until he was nearing Hagrid's hut.

Voldemort noticed they were no longer in the castle. He looked towards a large wooden structure with what seemed to be a thatch type roof.

"You aren't going to throw me in that barn as though I were some kind of animal, are you?" asked Voldemort in shock.

Albus stopped and looked down at him.

"That is not a barn. That is Hagrid's home," said the old man, with a gleam in his eye. "And it will be your new home until you decide to play nicely."

"No, not Hagrid! Please, Albus, I beg you! Hagrid always smelled of moldy cheese when we were in school. And he collected the most dangerous animals, like that Acromantula." Now Voldemort was really nervous. He also wondered if the half-giant held any ill feelings towards him because of the Aragog incident. It was after all because of him that Hagrid was expelled.

"You will see that there are always consequences for the things you do, Tom. You never really thought about paying for the atrocities you committed. But now you have a chance to atone for your sins. And I think you should start now in the company of Hagrid."

~*~

Back at the infirmary the rest of the group was beginning to dissipate. Minerva went back to writing her lesson plan for the upcoming school year. Poppy started to take stock of which potions she needed to have replaced and replenished. Ron decided he'd had enough of Hogwarts and the rest of the group. He was anxious to get home. One of the many great things that Hermione and Severus' potion enabled him to do was reactivate his social life. Ron had a date tonight with a pretty witch who worked in the Ministry's Spells Department.

Lucius turned to his wife and whispered, "Ginevra, my dear, I believe we should leave those two alone." He motioned towards Severus and Hermione who were now sitting beside each other on the bed Severus had been examined in.

Ginny smiled and nodded, then called to the couple. "Well, we're off, you two. Why don't stop by this Saturday for dinner?" She walked towards the two and looked down at Hermione.

"I don't know, Ginny," said Hermione, as the two women walked towards one of the ward's gothic windows. "I...I think I just want to be alone for a while."

Ginny took hold of her hand and squeezed it.

"If you change your mind, you know where we are."

Lucius looked to Severus and nodded towards Hermione. The message to Severus was clear: it was now or never. Lucius knew that if Severus and Hermione didn't discuss what happened when Voldemort raped the young woman with his body, they might never pick up the pieces of the relationship they had been building.

The blond wizard left with his arm wrapped lovingly around his pregnant wife's waist.

Severus walked slowly towards Hermione as she stared out the window. She could see Albus walking towards Hagrid's hut, with the small Voldemort in his hands.

"Hermione?" Severus' voice was unsure. While they had their moment just before Hermione attempted to cast the Killling Curse on him, he was sure that the emotion of the moment was gone. She could very easily turn away from him right at that moment. "I would like to talk to you, if you would spare me a moment."

Hermione turned her head slightly. As she did he saw tears in her eyes.

"I have more than a moment for you, Severus," said Hermione.

Severus managed a faint smile, but he kept his distance.

"I'm sorry, Hermione." Severus spotted Albus outside the window with Voldemort. His eyes immediately darkened. "I'd like to choke that little gnome neck of his right about now."

Hermione allowed herself to laugh at his statement.

"I'll bet that sounded more ominous in your head, Severus." She looked over her shoulder towards the window. "He's not much of a threat to anyone anymore. Somehow, I think this will be his just reward. He's going to have to rely on the kindness of others now. People he's mistreated his entire life. Maybe this is the gods' way of redeeming him, if that's even possible."

"Perhaps you are correct." Severus backed away from her slightly and allowed her to walk past him a short distance. "I wonder...if you would consider coming back to my home. I meant what I said earlier, I do love you."

"Severus, I...I don't know." Hermione wasn't afraid of being alone with Severus. She'd realized and accepted that it wasn't him who had raped her. But she also knew that it would not be easy to become intimate with him again, especially in his home and in his bedroom where it had all occurred.

Realizing the cause of her hesitation, Severus stepped forward and lightly touched her shoulder.

"I know it won't be easy for you, but if you will allow me, I want to help you. I...I haven't been able to set foot in that bedroom since you left." He looked at Hermione's glittering eyes, "Please come back with me, Hermione. You can blast that room into oblivion for all I care. You can do anything you wish."

Hermione smiled. Blasting that bedroom into the sky might just be what she needed to get past the hurdle. While it wouldn't erase the memory of what happened, it would help them start from the beginning.

"All right, Severus. Let's do some redecorating then."

~*~*~*~*~*~

I thought I'd only had a chapter or two left, but I might have a few more. I won't know until I sit down to write a bit more, but it didn't seem right to end it with this chapter.