Mission: In Trouble

AN: I caved! Here it is...the sequel to the sequel of the most plotless fic imaginable – however, there shall be the hopefully desired amount of smut. And thank you, thank you, don't all applaud at once at my wonderfully imaginative title! Oh, and be sure to let me know if you want to see anything in particular in this one - however, no, there won't be any Lucius! Three men is enough to keep up with, thank you :)

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Mission: In Trouble!

I am so utterly, utterly bored. Bored and frustrated – not a pleasant combination, especially for those around me. Five hours! I have been here, holed up in some desolate, infinitesimally small shack in the middle of Merlin knows where with two gorgeous men teasing and tormenting me knowing damn well there isn't a thing I can do about it!

It was Harry's idea – damn him! He dragged us all off up here, Ron, Ginny, Lavender, Sirius, Remus and I, as a sort of last bash before we head out into the big ol' world that is adulthood. Initially it been just Ginny, Ron, Harry and I, but Ron had quickly protested at the fact that Harry would have his girlfriend and demanded that Lavender should come. Fine, I could have sort of dealt with that – perhaps with the four of them preoccupied I would have had some quiet time to read or something. That plan was all going excellently until Mrs Weasley caught wind of it. "There is no way," she demanded, her hands on her hips, "that I am letting you, Ginny Weasley, spend a week away in the mountains with your boyfriend unsupervised!" Ginny's protests fell on deaf ears. Harry was devastated, especially since Lavender had already agreed to go and apparently the idea of having to spend all that time with me while his best friend was shagging his girlfriend was not so appealing. Sirius, however, had stepped up to the plate and solved that problem - damn him.

"Molly, you know, I could do with a break myself – perhaps I could go along and supervise?" he had suggested, slipping me a sly grin.

"Well..." Molly had replied, obviously not so sure that Sirius Black, King of Maturity, was the sort of adult role model she wanted supervising her children.

Remus, who had been in the room the entire time and totally uninterested in the conversation until Sirius' offer, piped up. "Perhaps you would feel more at ease if I escorted them as well?"

A slow, relieved smile spread across Molly's face. "Yes, yes! That would be wonderful, Remus!"

Ginny groaned, Harry sighed and Ron tried protesting, but Molly was set on the idea of Remus and Sirius escorting us. Of course, I was perfectly content with this idea – at least I would have something other than my books to entertain me.

No such luck. The cabin had only three tiny, tiny rooms – two of which Ron and Lavender, and Ginny and Harry quickly claimed. With a defeated sigh, I had told Remus and Sirius to take the last room and I'd sleep on the couch. However, Remus seemed to be taking his duty as supervisor far too seriously and had squashed Harry's idea, separating the girls from the boys. None of the others were very impressed.

"Gods, how did we end up with that bore?!" Ron huffed, sinking down onto the couch five minutes later while Remus was in the room he was sharing with Sirius', hopefully out of earshot.

"He did promise your mum..." I began to protest, but Ron shot me such a dirty look that I just left my thought hanging.

"Just because he's not getting any," Lavender chipped in.

"Probably never has!" Ginny sniped.

I wanted to say something...but I had to choose my words carefully. "I am sure Professor Lupin has more than his fair share of women. He is quite an attractive man..."

"Well, you go and shag him then so we can have some time alone!" Harry snapped, slipping his arm around Ginny.

Lavender gave Harry a scathing look as if to say 'Hermione Granger doesn't even know what the word shag means.'

"Now, now," Sirius interrupted and the rest of them turned to stare at him, obviously having been totally oblivious to the fact that he had been standing by the kitchen counter listening to our conversation the whole time. "As Hermione said, Ron and Ginny, Remus made a promise to your mother and you will just have to deal with it." He glanced over his shoulder to the room where Remus was and then lowered his voice. "I am certain that you are all well aware that just because the sleeping arrangements are not as you wanted, that doesn't mean this trip has to be a total loss."

Harry looked thoughtful at Sirius' suggestion, Lavender giggled, Ginny smirked and Ron just looked confused. Poor Lavender, I thought for a moment, before remembering the look she had given me moments earlier.

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Half an hour later, I was standing outside on the porch wanting to escape the infuriating amount of drool being exchanged inside when warm arms snaked around my waist, soft lips brushed against my neck and then sultrily the words, "I'm hungry, 'Mione," were whispered in my ear.

"Sirius..." I had sighed, leaning back into him, but that moment had been suitably ruined by Lavender squealing, "Won Won! It's too cold to go skinny dipping!"

Sirius had drawn back from me just as the door had burst open and Ron was visibly struggling to haul Lavender through the doorway. How very, very tactful.

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And now, here I am, sitting around the fireplace with the delightful sight of Lavender and Ron practically dry-humping in front of me and Ginny apparently permanently attached to Harry's neck. I give Remus a scowl and he sighs before turning to look at Sirius for an answer.

"Game time!" Sirius suddenly announces, stirring Lavender and Ron and causing Ginny's lips to audibly pop from Harry's neck.

"What?" Ron asks, sounded rather peeved at being interrupted.

"Game time," Sirius replies, then, giving me a cheekily look, adds, "Truth or Dare!'

"You have got to be kidding me." Lavender literally snorts as she rolls her eyes. Oh, so very becoming.

"Nope! You have something hide, Lavender?" Sirius asks and I must remember to commend him on his straight face, despite his eyes wandering to where Ron's hand is vanishing up her skirt.

"No," Lavender says snottily, but I can see Sirius' jab has worked – she now has to prove herself.

"Like Truth or Dare is going to be any fun with him here," Ron says poutily, nodding at Remus.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Ron. Remus here is always up for a bit of fun," Sirius goads and now he has Ron's attention too, despite the sceptical look on his face. "In fact, Remus, why don't we start with you?"

Remus gives Sirius a scathing look over the top of his book. "I think not, Sirius. I'm going to bed."

"You know what happens to pikers, Remus..."

Remus glares at his best friend, then snaps his book shut. "Fine."

"What happens to pikers?" Ginny enquires.

Sirius gives her a menacingly look. "If you want to find out, don't play."

And that's Ginny hooked in and, by default, Harry.

Then there's me, of course. Then again, I can't see any reason to protest – Sirius' games are always fun – I just hope to Merlin that I don't have to go anywhere near Lavender.

"You up for it, 'Mione?" Sirius asks, grinning cheekily at me.

"Why not," I reply with a shrug, putting my newspaper down.

"Great," I catch Lavender mutter sarcastically under her breath to Ron and Ron giggles in response.

Sirius suddenly jumps to his feet and is back a few moments later with glasses full of drinks for everyone.

"What's this?" Lupin asks warily.

"Something to liven the night up!" Sirius announces, than adds, "Oh, quit clenching, Remus, they're all of age!"

Remus looks dubious.

"To get things warmed up, bottoms up, everyone!" Sirius announces, then downs his glass in one gulp.

Slowly the rest of them comply. I take a cautious sniff at mine first and, not being able to ascertain any odour other than alcohol, I decide it's safe and knock it back. Big, big mistake. The vague bitter, walnut taste of Veritaserum, hardly detectable unless you are searching for it.

"Remus, truth or dare?" Sirius asks, ignoring my shocked glare in his direction. Veritaserum is strictly controlled by the ministry...how on earth did Sirius...never mind...I don't want to know!

Remus eyes Sirius up, weighing up the likely consequences of each. "Dare."

"Shirt off."

I almost laugh as I see the exchange of looks around the room at this dare, all four of the others panicking at where this is going given that the removal of clothes has been requested on the first round.

"Sirius..." Lupin says with a tone of warning.

"Remus, it's nothing they're not going to see when we go swimming tomorrow."

Lupin now gives me a look – almost as if questioning me as to whether he should let Sirius go ahead with this. I shrug. In all honesty, for now it seems perfectly harmless. Slowly he unbuttons his shirt and as much as I'd like to admire the view, part of me is utterly curious as to how the others are reacting. Both Lavender and Ginny are practically drooling, while Harry is glaring at Ginny and Ron is looking as though he feels rather inadequate. I manage to restrain myself from laughing...just.

"Your turn, Remus," Sirius prompts, looking quit amused himself.

Remus, looking bored, finally says, "Ron...Truth or Dare?"

Ron's eyes move down Remus' chest and he cringes. "Truth."

Remus glances at Sirius, before asking, "When's Lavender's birthday?"

"Is that it?" Harry asks with a disappointed sigh.

However, Ron's mouth has dropped open. He turns and stares awkwardly at his girlfriend. "September?"

"August the fifteenth!" Lavender's face is now bright red and I am so glad that is Ron she is looking at like that rather than me.

"Righty...your turn, Ron," Sirius pipes up, looking quite amused.

Ron glances around at us all, pausing rather angrily on Remus for a while.

"Remus," Ron spits out.

"Uh uh, no asking the person who just asked you," Ginny chimes in, looking rather bemused herself.

"Fine." Ron's eyes flick around the circle again and then land on me. I really don't like the way he's looking at me... "Hermione. Truth or Dare?"

Dilemma... dilemma... If I take truth, he is certain to ask about things I really don't want to reveal to them – like the fact that their bookish, sexless friend has been playing 'hide the wand' with not only Harry's godfather and their former professor, but Merlin forbidden if Snape's name gets drawn into this... A dare has got to be the safer option.

"Dare."

Ron grins evilly. "Snog Lupin, Hermione."

Harry snorts into his newly filled glass, Ginny's gives me a look of pity and Lavender laughs out loud.

"Ron..." Lupin warns.

"Ron, you can't make her do that!" Harry protests.

"Why not? She chose dare...."

Great – so they think that's funny do they? Time to prove a point. I rise from my seat, my legs wavering a little under the influence of whatever alcohol Sirius' added the Veritaserum to, and then bend over Lupin, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

I get exactly the response I was expecting from Ron. "I said snog..."

But before he can finish his sentence, I grasp hold of Remus' shoulders, slide myself into his lap and start devouring his lips. Merlin, this is good. Good? It's fanfuckingtastic! I have been sitting around feeling totally deprived since Sirius' attack on me on the porch earlier this afternoon and this is proving to relieve just a little of my tension. My tongue slides over Remus' and he is suddenly returning my kiss, his hands tangling in my hair and pulling me closer. His hips suddenly jerk up against mine and I can see that this is doing nothing to relieve any tension Remus' might be feeling. As if to confirm my suspicions, I catch his almost inaudible growl on my lips.

"Oh Merlin..." I hear Ginny whisper from behind me. Excellent – point proven, I believe. However, how I am going to get myself out of this situation with at least an air of dignity is going to take a little more thinking...