Dracpunzel
dracontia69 Reviews | 8.25/10 (69 Ratings, 0 Likes, 1 Favorite )
Once upon a time, Lucius Malfoy decided to execute a tediously convoluted scheme that went (from his perspective, at least) ridiculously wrong. That really narrows it down, doesn’t it?
Start ReadingChapters (17)
About dracontia
Author
dracontia
Member Since 2006 | 69 Stories | Favorited by 208 | 51 Reviews Written | 1,397 Review Responses
Mostly Harmless! Though I have to admit, I'm even stranger than I appear. ;-) There's a pile of unbeta'd stuff on my LJ (dracfic) if you're interested in Raw, Untamed, fanfic.
Believe it or not, "How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic" has been rec'ed by Know It Alls! It's true! They gave me this pretty lil' ribbon and everything! And in March 2007, they saw fit to likewise reccommend (as an antidote to angst) the story that started it all, 'Courtesy of Your Fairy God-Jarvey'--just in time for the first anniversary of that story's posting! *hugs Harm*
(I also have to admit that 'mostly harmless' may not be the most apt description of a member of the Mad Chatters...)
Reviews for Dracpunzel
Poor Lucius, how can Severus expect him to make sense, what with the play of light on his hair and all.
Severus' " Bullshit Tolerance Meter " has always been set low , so Lucius is quite right to be wary.
I'm very impressed with Narcissa's skill with a Howler, straight to the point, and hit both of them right between the eyes.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Little known fact: Hoods and meeting in the dark became part of the Death Eater program for the express purpose of keeping Lucius from getting too distracted by his own hair. 
Still unanswered: how Severus' BS meter failed to deter him from joining... Completely off-the-charts defiant of all credibility: How Narcissa did not manage to take over the whole business after about a week.
My very own warning label. I feel so... special. And I read this at home, which was just as well! ;)
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
If you think about it, any of us who has ever been involved with Mad Chatters really ought to have our own warning label... 
I don't know about "fractured fairytales " but I am in danger of getting a fractured funnybone, looking forward to more.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
While Hermione looks up instructions for splinting a fractured funnybone, I will take this time to thank you for your review. 
I saw the title and was afraid... very afraid. But I just...had..to... "Husband and wife became distracted for a moment by their own reflections in nearby polished surfaces" Okay, now my colleagues think I am loopy. Giggling insanely at the computer screen is not considered particularly professional!
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
*puts on Exceedingly Serious Face* I apologize for having blown your cover at work. Just when you were doing so well at hiding your true identity... 
Stay tuned for more train-wreck-ish fractured fairytale insanity! (Yes, now is a good time to Be Very Afraid. Also to use Excessive Capitals.)
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I look forward to reading more.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
*bows* Thank you! 'More' has arrived!
I have only one thing to say EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Google Translate is strangely silent as to the exact meaning of this review, but I choose to interpret it as positive. Thank you kindly--and do enjoy the epilogue!
Response from mick42 (Reviewer)
Of course not, Google doesn't speak overexcited Draco.
What a sophisticated yet droll way of writing! :)) I will now know what to look for in a short man now! Love this line "and also, where that missing inch of height had been spent" - of course your sprogs come first. No buts, no expectations. .. just hope you won't forget us (current readers) who don't have the benefit of a finished story but I guess addiction is a choice.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Bless you, honey, I never forget--it's just a matter of finding the time! Having located said obscure commodity, I present the Epilogue for your approval. Enjoy! 
When's the next chapter comin' up! :(
Response from jadecadence (Reviewer)
I have ADHD!!! This makes it even harder to be patient! ;))
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
It's... HERE! 
(Sorry about the delay--on top of everything else, I'm supervising the sprogs, who are doing their education online from home.) 
AHHH, Prince Harry is on his way into the bathroom, where Draco awaits in the bath { with bubbles, PLEASE tell me there are bubbles } be still my heart, and wait for the next chapter.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Bubbles=Good to Go. 
See them now in Chapter 15! (Just try not to inhale any, okay?)
Response from mick42 (Reviewer)
I can't wait. I would never inhale
Oh no! not PUBERTY! anything bot that,how will Severus survive. Thank Merlin Draco is not a girl, but he is a Malfoy so things may not go well.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Will ANYONE survive? Aaand... how sure are you about the first half of that final sentence? Answers to these questions (and possibly less) have just posted!
WOW! What a hair raising development that is!
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Draco's hair is growing like a weed, Severus feels like tearing his out. It all evens out somewhere in there... Thank you for reviewing!(oh, and here's the emoticon I owe you from the last review response--I accidentally hit 'submit' too quickly...) 
Haha,... :D No wonder you called this story "dracpunzel"! I finally got a glimpse of why! :D However, my small brain couldn't really understand the meaning of the small-print. It's a bit convoluted like most legalese, which if was what was intended,... then you've achieved it! Too bad I couldn't make sense of it. Can i have an explanation in the next chappie purty phlueasssse! :D Nice air to this chappie tho'! :P
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Draco doesn't speak legalese either, so Severus will be helping him out next chapter--which, as of hitting 'sibmit' just became the current chapter. Thanks very much for reviewing! (Also glad to know the lawyer-speak was sufficiently opaque--I was afraid it was too straightforward to pass as a realistic contract!)
Oh,... i'm so eager to read the next chapter! Was caught off-guard with this end! :D
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
The wait is over--please enjoy the next chapter currently posted! [lease? pretty please?] :D
Loved the rubato flow here. :D You writers are artistes! :D
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Cool... I'm mastering music without even realizing it! 
Loved the rubato flow here. :D You writers are artistes! :D
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Well-done! Snappy pace it is! :D
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
I try to keep things hopping like a nowhere-near-pickled toad.
I think i've read or come across this lovely-written story of yours posted either here or elsewhere. Charming enough to be re-read again though!
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Thank you kindly! But if it's posted elsewhere I'd love to hear about it--unless I'm using other archives in my sleep, then my stories are running around with other archives behind my back! 
Severus may be able to get Lucius and Narcssa to cough up for Christmas and birthdays, but good luck prying anything out of Draco's sticky little hands.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
LOL unless he throws it during the course of a temper tantrum
I admit that I have been avoiding this story, unsure of the matter of silliness involved... It turns out that it is exactly MY type of silliness; a Monty Python-esque fractured fairy tale, indeed! Thank you for the food/drink warnings, they were well heeded. Especially love Lucius' Land Shark smile.
Best of luck on your writing luck: please, please, please find the time and willpower to finish.
Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)
Thank you most kindly! I have scraped together sufficient silliness to comprise another small chapter, which I do hope you will enjoy safely