3. Day Three

"Day Three"

The first Weasley that got within arm's length, he was going to strangle. The aftereffects of the Technicolor Top-Offs lasted well into the early hours of the morning. Every time Severus thought the ordeal was over, he was summoned once again by either Sean or Saffie...usually one right after the other: a horrid, multicolored, never-ending circle. After a while, he decided that it wasn't even worth going to bed, much less bother getting comfortable. It made more sense to just brew a pot of tea and sacrifice the remaining two hours of sleep he would have normally had.

He brewed an exceptionally strong pot and poured himself a cup, collapsing into a chair at the small table where they sometimes took their family meals. His sleep-deprived mind wandered over the weekend without Hermione. He missed her terribly; having to deal with two sick children all by himself had him missing her even more.

His drowsy, Hermione-ridden thoughts were broken by a scratching at the window. Reaching over, he unhooked the latch and, like an answer to a prayer, a small, tawny owl flew in and perched itself on the sill, holding out its leg. Severus unfastened the parchment and opened it to read.

Dearest Severus,

Hermione

He snorted. James and Evan: the Potter twins. They had managed to reach the ripe old age of seven, but already he could tell they were another Fred and George in the making. Not only were they pranksters of the highest caliber, they were darn good at manipulating people to get exactly what they wanted. If they weren't the product of two overly-Gryffindor parents, he would definitely sort them into Slytherin if he had any choice in the matter. Sean and the twins were inseparable whenever they were together. They also ignored Saffie, which made her very unhappy.

No. He would not resort to having the Boy Wonder save the day. If he could live through fireworks and a double bathroom-running, Top-Off-expelling, child-washing triathlon, he was certain he could take on just about anything. The thought of asking for help made his insides want to shrivel up. If there were only one thing that could actually make this weekend worse, it would be Potter and the miniature trouble-making duo.

Severus' head jerked up at a sharp knock at the door, realizing that he had dozed off. He looked down at his untouched tea, now room temperature, and sighed. In his exhausted and somewhat shaky state, he did not trust himself to aim a warming spell properly, so he placed the teakettle back on the stove to heat. Then, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and listened for any sounds coming from the children's rooms. Thankfully, it was silent ... until the rapping at the door broke it again. Apparently, whoever it was, was not about to go away.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," he grumbled and crossed the sitting room to open the door.

"Good morning, Severus!" The headmaster grinned at the younger man, much-too-much overly cheerful for this time of morning. Then, noticing Severus' wan look, he sobered just a little. "Are you all right, my boy? You look positively terrible."

"I'm fine, Albus," Severus answered, holding back a yawn. "What do you need?" Normally, he would let Albus into their quarters, but in no way was he going to allow him to remain any longer than necessary this morning.

"We missed you at breakfast. Where are the children? I have sweets for them." Albus held out two bags of candy, at which Severus felt slightly nauseous, having seen enough of sweets...albeit not the more pleasant side...to last probably an entire lifetime.

"Save them for tomorrow, Albus. I don't think they'll want them today."

"Not want them? Are they all right?" Albus asked, his eyes widening a little with concern.

"They're fine now, no thanks to my son's vast collection of Weasley's Technicolor Top-Offs, which were vastly diminished by the time I discovered them." Severus did yawn this time. "I have gotten absolutely no sleep except for a few minutes over my tea right before you knocked."

"I'm so sorry, my boy," Albus said, the concern now radiating across his features, wrinkling his brow. "Is there anything I can do? Do you need Minerva to come by and watch over things while you get some sleep?"

"I most certainly do not want Minerva to stop by and hang around my quarters like a mother hen. That's the last thing I need this morning," Severus warned the old man. "I just want to drink my tea and get this place straightened up a bit before Hermione gets home tonight."

"Most understandable," Albus agreed. "Still, you better get some sleep before now and then. You look an absolute fright, Severus. If it's one thing I know about women: no matter how difficult a time you've had watching over the children, whatever you do, don't let it show." He winked at the younger man.

"I'll take that into consideration, Albus. Thank you." Severus began to close the door. Why did it always take so much effort to make Albus go away? All the man wanted to do was keep talking, and all Severus wanted to do was sit down...better yet, lie down...and take a proper nap.

"No problem, my boy. If you need anything, send a house-elf, and I'll be here straightaway."

Finally free to shut the door, he collapsed against it. Hearing the sounds of shuffling feet, he turned around to find Sean and Saffie stumbling bleary-eyed into the sitting room.

"Who was that? Papa Albus?" Sean asked, falling onto the sofa. The boy's face was a mirror image of how Severus felt.

"Yes," Severus answered and then decided he wanted to have a bit of fun. "He came by to give you each a bag of sweets. They looked really good this time. Some of Honeyduke's finest...."

The groans from the two children made him smirk. He had to make sure that the children had learned their lesson well. In no way did he want a repeat of last night.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "If you really want the sweets, I'm sure you could still catch Albus in the hallway."

"No!" the children yelled in unison.

"All I want to do is sleep," Sean complained.

"Yes. Well, I suppose that would be nice, but your mother is coming home today, and I would prefer if she knew very little of the trouble you gave me this weekend. Ah, which reminds me: You haven't surrendered your Weasley's joke shop stash yet. Why don't you go get that for me now?"

Sean reluctantly dragged himself off the sofa, grumbling under his breath, and trudged to his bedroom. Saffie got up to follow close behind, a habit she had that always made Severus shake his head in amusement. The girl was attached to Sean like a shadow, and woe to the person who tried to remove her.

Allowing his fatherly posture to relax for a moment, he went to turn the heat off under the mostly evaporated pot of tea. There was enough for a single cup, but one was better than none.

~~~~~o o~~~~~

Half an hour later, he decided a long draught of Pepperup Potion was in order. He began an intense search of cabinets and cupboards, too lazy to make a Floo-call to Poppy. He didn't want to be caught asking anyone for help. It was best to avoid questions...especially where Poppy was concerned. He could just see the leery concern lining her face as she searched his children's eyes for any signs of illicit potion dosings. No, thank you. Finally, he found a relatively small but serviceable sample of Pepperup Potion hidden in one of his desk drawers and, sighing, drank every last drop.

The children seemed to be fine. They had come into the kitchen for some tea and toast and retreated...thankfully...back to Sean's room. Sean had delivered his box of contraband and was told that he'd get it back...maybe...after Severus had a lengthy discussion with Hermione. It hadn't made Sean happy, but he knew enough to keep his complaints to himself at this point. Severus suspected the boy was simply too tired to argue.

The only sound coming from Sean's room now was low-key conversation, which Severus could only hope meant that they weren't getting into any trouble. He contemplated checking on them, but then he didn't want to distract them if they were doing something harmless. He desperately needed some time to himself. In any case, he thought the probability was pretty high that they were staying out of trouble.

That is, until he heard Sean say in an urgent whisper, "Catch them!"

Suddenly, Severus was quite alert. His ears perked in the direction of Sean's room, and it was unmistakable that something was happening. He edged toward the door.

"You opened the box, Saff! Why'd you do that? Dad's gonna kill me!" Sean whispered louder, trying not to alert his father.

Scrambling and scuffling sounds escaped from just beyond the door. Then, just as he was about to look around the corner and catch his children doing whatever it was they were doing, a pair of ... somethings ... scuttled under his feet. Then another pair and three more made a similar escape at top speed. Suddenly, the floor was swarming with small, black, multi-legged creatures, all having apparently decided that Sean's room was simply too confining.

"What in the name of Slytherin is going on here?!" Severus bellowed.

The children screamed and made for opposite ends of the room, cowering, eyes wide with fear. Severus looked at the steady stream of creatures all coming from a half-exposed box under Sean's bed. Aiming his wand, Severus began to utter the word "Evanesco" when Sean screamed, "No, don't! You'll kill them!"

"That's exactly what I intend to do!" Severus roared at his son. "What in the world is this ... this infestation?!"

Sean stuttered, "It...it's...I don't know what they're called! Hagrid gave one to me. It's not my fault!"

"You've been harboring wild creatures in our quarters...wild creatures given to you by Hagrid, no less? And you don't even know what it is?" Severus shook his head in disbelief, aimed his wand and began shouting "Evanesco!" repeatedly.

It worked, although it was slow going, and there were just too many for it to be efficient. Sean just stood in the doorway sobbing, "Don't kill them. They're just babies!"

Severus started his lecture in between spell-casting. "You're going to get yourself in big trouble someday if you harbor the kind of creatures Hagrid catches. Merlin knows where he found these. I've never seen anything like them," Severus grumbled. "Evanesco! Evanesco!"

He had vanished about half of the miniature creatures when there was a knock at the door. Of all the times for someone to call, this had to the worst. If it was Minerva, Severus was going to hex Albus' beard green. The small creatures were tumbling and crawling into every crevice they could find, crawling up curtains, disappearing under chairs, trying to escape the power of Severus' wand.

Severus swore under his breath. "Why does everyone have to pick this morning for a bloody visit?"

He stalked to the door, eradicating a few more of the pesky creatures on the way, and threw it open with a snarl. Standing on the other side was none other than Harry Potter and the twins.

"Well, if it isn't the Boy Wonder," Severus growled.

"At your service, Batman." Harry grinned as the boys ran inside and made for Sean's bedroom.

"Aw, cool!" Evan shouted, taking in the scene. "It had babies! I told you he was a girl!"

"Nah, Hagrid said the boys and girls can have babies," James said.

Severus turned back to Harry. "Who told you I needed your service?" he asked, already quite wise as to who it was.

"Only Dumbledore. We happened to be in the castle for breakfast this morning," Harry said as he walked into the sitting room, glancing around as the little black things climbed up the walls and walked across the ceiling. They seemed to be multiplying, though Severus couldn't be absolutely sure.

"What a coincidence." Severus knew it was no coincidence. Apparently, his son's little Floo-call had done the trick. Harry never came to breakfast if Hermione wasn't here to join him. Although, Hermione was very rarely not here, so he really had nothing to compare it with. Still, it wasn't a coincidence at all; of that he was sure.

"Mm-hmm," Harry continued not-so-innocently. "And then Albus mentioned something about Sean and Saffie being sick and..."

"Now, that really is a coincidence, Mr. Potter," Severus interrupted. "Sean apparently had quite a collection of Technicolor Top-Offs, thanks to your brothers-in-law. Not to mention, Fred had gone behind my back to sneak Sean a Wildfire Whiz-bang, which they let loose in the sitting room yesterday afternoon. It was a Weasley sort of day yesterday, one that I certainly do not wish to repeat."

Harry's uneasy grin fell off his face at the mention of a Whiz-bang loose indoors. "You must be kidding," he said.

"Have you ever known me to be kidding?" Severus asked. "And just so you are aware, the children are forbidden anything from the Weasley's joke shop for six months. Maybe more after the Top-Off fiasco. If I had my way, I'd forbid contact with any Weasley...." He let that hang in the air between them.

"Ah, but James and Even have wound their way into your heart, eh? They're only half-Weasley, though, so you could always exempt them."

"Yes, but they're half-Potter, so I don't think that I would," he sneered. "Anyway, Hermione would most likely veto that decision, even if Sean blew up the entire castle with the latest Weasley brainchild."

"Lucky for me, I guess." Harry was back to grinning, no doubt finding all of this very amusing. "Anyway, back to this ... this ... well, what in the world happened?" Harry gestured to the burgeoning force of creatures, eradicating any doubt of their instantaneous breeding capabilities.

"Apparently, Hagrid happened. He gave Sean something that he cannot remember the name of. Not that it matters. Saffie opened the box and now our quarters have been invaded. Remind me to personally thank Hagrid later today," Severus said, tacking on a few rounds of "Evanesco!"

Harry grimaced and joined in the fray, while Sean, James and Evan shouted their objections. Blissfully aware no one was paying attention to her, Saffie bounced on the sofa, doing somersaults and cackling with glee as the creatures snapped, crackled and popped into nonexistence. Between Severus and Harry, they eliminated the rest of the creatures...the visible ones at any rate. Severus hoped that if they missed any, the remaining ones wouldn't try to exact revenge for any deceased siblings...or worse yet, begin to multiply once more.

"That about does it." Harry wiped perspiration from his brow. "Why don't you go rest for a while or take a shower. You look awful. I can watch over the boys and Saffie."

"As much as I thoroughly enjoy your company, I'm really not in the mood for any today," Severus said, hoping he could cut Harry's visit short. "I thank you for all your help, and not to appear rude, but the door is over there." He pointed firmly and, he hoped, authoritatively. Though, he feared his authority had been severely eroded where Mr. Potter was concerned ever since he married Hermione.

"Oh, come on. You really don't want Hermione to find out about all that has gone on here this weekend, do you? If you look clean and rested, she won't suspect a thing." Harry winked ... too Albus-like for his taste.

Severus eyed him suspiciously. "Which is why you will be gone by the time she gets home."

"Not on your life, Professor. I want to see the look on her face when she walks in the door and sees me here." Harry smirked. "Anyway, she'll be proud of you for calling me instead of giving them a dose of Dreamless Sleep like you did last time."

"Almost did last time. And I did not call you!" Severus yelled over his shoulder. He headed off to the bath, murmuring, "Damn, bloody Albus always meddling in matters he shouldn't ... should keep his beard in his own business...."

~~~~~o o~~~~~

Hermione walked in the door and called out, "I'm home!"

Saffie came barreling through the door and tackled her mother's legs, wrapping her arms tightly around them. "Mummy! Sean gave me Top-Offs!" the small girl admitted immediately.

Hermione winced at the girl's admission and tried to pry Saffie's small hands loose from her thighs. She had to resort to stalking across the room stiff-legged with the little girl attached. She reached the door to the sitting room, breathless and laughing, before she called out to her husband.

"Severus? Where are you?"

"He's in here with me, Hermione," Harry called out.

"I told you not to say anything," Severus growled.

Hermione walked through to the sitting room, throwing Severus a silent "help me" look, barely able to take another step. She smiled at Severus' scowl and Harry's not-so-innocent grin and laughed.

"Harry! So good to see you. So is this a welcome-home visit, or did Severus call you?"

"Um, actually, it's neither. Though I do welcome you home." He grinned cheekily.

Severus came over and picked Saffie off her mother's legs, giving Hermione a peck on the cheek. The girl twisted in his arms and reached for her mother.

"I want my mummy," she pouted.

"Go to your mummy," he answered, depositing the child in her mother's arms. "Potter is here at the headmaster's request. Not mine."

"Oh," she said with a knowing smirk. "And what was this I heard about Top-Offs?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Oh, for Merlin's sake!" he exclaimed. "Fine! That was the highlight of our weekend. Actually, no, it wasn't. The Wildfire Whiz-bang set loose in the sitting room actually was a bit more spectacular than the Technicolor vomit your children spewed all night. But," he said as he looked over at a smirking Harry sitting over on the sofa, "let's not forget the infestation of gods-knows-what thanks to that overgrown oaf of a groundskeeper or, I nearly forgot, Saffie ripping all my research to shreds and painting her body and dollies red with my correcting ink. It's been a thoroughly exciting ... and thoroughly taxing weekend. Wish you'd been here to enjoy it with me," he added blandly.

For a moment, Hermione was struck speechless, her mouth opening once or twice as though to say something. In the end, instead of words coming out, she broke down in peals of laughter that had actually Saffie reaching for her father, a crease of worry in her small brow.

"Is Mummy happy?" she asked her daddy, not entirely sure as her mother was now doubled over, a hand grabbing the stitch in her side and tears running down her face.

"Too happy," Severus replied.

He glared at Harry who dared to join in the laughter. Severus had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be long before everyone knew about his weekend alone with his children. His grandchildren would probably hear about it years from now, over and over and bloody over. He sighed. Perhaps he should have just administered the Dreamless Sleep Potion and dealt with the consequences... In any case, thank the gods Hermione was home.

~End