Day Two

"Day Two"

Albus had expanded the High Table especially for the growing families of Severus and Hermione and two other professors he had employed who were married but, as of yet, without children. Papa Albus, as Sean and Saffie knew him, endlessly doted upon the children, indulging their every whim. It drove Severus insane.

Getting the children ready for breakfast had severely tried his patience. He was never one to speak much in the morning, which was why Hermione usually took on the task of the children's morning routine. By the time they managed to get out the door, Severus was at the breaking point...a state he managed to frequently find himself in, but never before his morning tea.

They reached the staff table fifteen minutes late, a fact that was noted by several smirking professors, and it took another five to get the kids settled and Saffie properly secured. Severus turned to take his own seat, only to find the headmaster directly behind him. His tentative nerve twinged.

"Good morning, Severus." Papa Albus beamed. "Good morning, children! Are you giving your daddy a frightful time?"

Saffie nodded her head up and down vigorously, making her curls dance in front of her eyes just the way she liked it. Sean just smirked back at the old man, having learned early the art of humoring his adopted grandfather.

"Do you have any candy for us today, Papa Albus?" Sean asked, hand sticking out expectantly.

Not one to disappoint, the headmaster reached into his voluminous robes and drew out two small sacks of sweets.

"Albus, you are going to spoil the children," Severus protested.

"Nonsense, my boy. I have already done so. I'm afraid it is too late." Albus smiled at Severus as he deposited the candy into waiting palms. "And how are you faring this morning with Hermione gone? I see the children gave you a run for your galleons this morning."

Severus followed Albus's gaze down to the front of his shirt where several buttons had not yet been done. Muttering curses under his breath and turning his back to the potentially prying eyes of students, he quickly finished dressing.

"Now, now, Severus. It is completely understandable. Children do have a way of drawing your attention away from other matters. I, myself, find your children a lovely distraction. Why don't you sit, fix yourself a nice cup of tea and relax?" Albus looked as though he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

Relax? Severus wanted to scream: He hadn't had a moment's relaxation since Hermione left for the blasted conference. He placated the man with a forced grimace and sat down to his daily intake of caffeine.

Halfway through his second cup, he noticed that Saffie had decided that making mash out of her banana and cornflakes, with her fingers no less, was infinitely more interesting than eating them. Fine. Breakfast was most definitely over. Severus scooped up Saffie from behind, letting her dangling arms and legs flail uselessly while she giggled, and with a jerk of his head, signaled his son to follow.

~~~~~~oxo~~~~~~

He had to admit, it was fortunate he only had to deal with a minor mess at breakfast. It could have been worse. At the beginning of term, he had turned his head for one minute to speak with Minerva, and Saffie had disappeared. He had spent the better part of the meal searching for her, finally finding her betwixt the feet of the first-year Hufflepuff students. While they had the intelligence to look thoroughly terrified, the Slytherins at the next table had exchanged amused smirks. Some even had the nerve to laugh, though his authority was quickly regained with a glare and a deduction of five points from his own house.

Scowling at the memory...he hated to be made to look like a fool...Severus sat down to grade the fourth-year essays. Halfway through Phineas Long's wordy and more-than-lengthy report on Gillyweed and its (apparently singular so far) use, he felt a tickling on his right arm. He didn't even look down.

"What do you want, Saffie?"

"Da-da," she crooned. "Pick me?"

"Daddy's grading essays, Saff. I cannot pick you up right now."

"Puweeeeezze, Daddy?" she pouted.

"No, Saff. Go find your brother," he said, putting an end to the discussion.

He scanned the parchment to find where he had left off. Oh, there it was:

Gillyweed is found in lots of places. Under rocks. In caves. In that big lake too exept it is garded by this giant man eating squid and no-body in there right mind would try and get it from there. Thomas Rookwell almost had his left arm tore off last term when he through a rock into the lake and the Squid reched up and rapped his testicle around tight like one of those constriktor snakes. So I would not recomend any-one try it.

The student's brilliance was simply astounding. Perhaps a snigger of Firewhisky would make this more palatable.

"Da-da?" the little voice piped from his side once more.

"What is it, Saff?" He felt a twitch of annoyance at being interrupted again, not to mention being brought back to reality from the irresistible lure of Firewhisky. Then, he decided that any interruption was better than continuing to read essays of this caliber.

"Kiss my baby." Saffie held her one-eyed, smudged, and worn rag doll up to be kissed. "Sean hurt her."

"Tell Sean to read his book, Saff. I'm too busy to kiss your dolly."

Pouting, Saffie turned and pounded out of the room. Dungeon floors were thankfully solid and did not resound too loudly at fits of childish temper. Her feet slapped petulantly instead, her hair flouncing with the effort. As soon as she crossed the threshold, he heard her scream, "Daddy said leave me alone!" before she slammed the door.

He shook his head and returned to the torturous essay.

Gillyweed can be used for lots of things. You can breath under water if you eat it. My freind did that last summer when we went to the country on holiday. I wanted to try it but he ate it all. He was under water for like six hours. It took two days for the gills to ware off. My Aunt uses gilyweed in her garden to keep the nomes away. She says you have too keep all water far far away so when the nome eats the gillyweed he cant go under the water. Then he just flopps over dead because he cant brethe no longer.

Severus swore and pressed the heels of his palms against his eye sockets. This was going to taking bleeding forever. Several times he had implored the headmaster to employ an English professor to teach these children how to write a proper essay, but Dumbledore just patted his back, smiled, and offered him a lemon drop.

Five minutes later, Severus felt something brush against his robes beneath the desk. He peered between his legs and saw a pair of large brown eyes peering owlishly up at him.

"What are you doing down there, Saffie?" Severus felt the last particles of patience sift swiftly away.

"I'm doing my dollies," Saffie answered, offering up a handful of the infernal little dolls that Albus and Minerva insisted on buying her every time they went into Hogsmeade.

"Must you play with them here?" he asked. It was difficult enough to keep his concentration on the dull writings of the fourth-year dimwits without someone playing about his feet.

"Yes," she declared. "This dollies' house."

He groaned in exasperation. "All right, Saff. But do not bother Daddy, all right? I need to finish these bloody essays."

"Bloody is a bad word," wide eyes reprimanded him.

"Yes, Saff. Bloody is a bad word. Daddy is a bad man. Now be quiet and play with your toys," he said as he added a fair amount of red to the essay in front of him.

When would he give up and face facts? The students simply did not want to learn. For example...he should keep some of these to prove his point to Albus...what in Merlin's name was this?

Gillyweed is made from rats tales. They must be gray rats or brown rats for it too work. White rats can only give there tales for wands I think. I think it probably tastes very much like seeweed because after you can go in the ocean and breath the water and eat all the seeweed you want. If you like that sort of thing like Filomena Platt. She does it all the time. She does lots of other stuff to. Any way the merpeople eat seeweed so I supose it in't so bad. I wonder if they have to eat gillyweed too. If they do how do they get the rats tales?

Severus groaned at his misfortune and rubbed his temples. There was not enough red ink in the castle to correct these essays. He absentmindedly rummaged through the bottom drawer of his desk for another bottle. Hermione had told him to take on an apprentice to grade the lower-level essays, but so far he had refused. He was beginning to think she was right. It certainly would reduce his stress level.

Oh, blast Merlin and his minions, where the bloody hell is that extra bottle of ink?! He yanked the bottom drawer nearly off its track to see if the bottle had been shoved inadvertently behind the extra quills. He bent lower to get a good look, when a rancid odor met his nose. Blinking tears back and calming his gag reflex, he sat back abruptly. Oddly, it smelled much like Hagrid's garden last summer after he fertilized it with...

"Mmmph! Saffie..." Severus bent to look under his desk, a hand protecting his very sensitive nose.

What looked back up at him was not his daughter. No, the thing...the creature...that looked back at him could not be his daughter. It had to be some dunderhead-induced hallucination brought on by looking at too many misspelled words or inhaling the fumes of the red ink. Suddenly, the hallucination grinned: pearly-white teeth shining through a blood-red, full-moon face.

"Nappies yucky," the creature announced, reaching out to grab him.

Severus pushed his chair back to evade the red, slippery grasp of his daughter. Her face, her hands and arms, her robes and her little dolly collection were entirely smeared with red ink. The now-empty bottle that he had been looking for lay guiltily on its side by his foot.

"So I smell," he said. "What have you done to yourself, little girl? You look like a ruddy Weasley!" He did not know whether to laugh or cry. It honestly was a perplexing dichotomy of feelings, one he was not accustomed to.

"I paint," she declared proudly. "It's red."

"It most certainly is." He looked hopelessly at his daughter who wore the last of his red ink. Perhaps he could ask Minerva for her spare bottle. No. The last thing he wanted was Minerva sniffing around; he was not going to be fodder for the rumour mill. Better yet, perhaps he should just use green.

Sighing in defeat, he bent to pick up his smeary and stinky daughter and headed for the loo. The smell almost made him gag. How he could have spent years witnessing torture, rape, and murder and still feel nauseous over a baby's dirty nappy was beyond him. He held her at arm's length as he passed by Sean who was lying on the floor engrossed in a book.

"Ugh!" the boy screamed, rolling over and holding a hand over his nose and mouth. "Stinky, smelly Saffie! Agony! I'm dying!"

"Stop being so dramatic," Severus called over his shoulder. "Just tell me what your mother does to clean this mess up."

"Scourgify!" he choked, still holding his nose and grabbing his gut. "If it's really, really bad, use a Portkey!" he yelled as his father slammed the door behind him.

Severus placed Saffie on the tile floor and stared at his red palms. The whiteness of her eyes and teeth amidst the red skin was unsettling. It reminded him of days best forgotten, bowing at the mercy of his serpentine Lord. A swish and a flick and a quick cleaning spell, and she looked like a little girl once again. However, she in no way smelled like one.

"When are you going to learn to use the loo?" He peered down at his daughter.

"I don' wanna," Saffie pouted. "Sean tol' me a snake'll bite me on my bum."

"Do me a favor and do not believe everything your brother says." Severus pointed his wand and decided to forego Scourgify for Evanesco. In an instant, the dirty nappy was gone. He summoned a clean nappy and stirred his wand above his head to freshen the air. It really was a wonder that something so small could produce such a putrid smell.

Shuttling his daughter back out into the sitting room, Severus nudged his son with the toe of his boot. "Watch... your... sister. I am going to ask Dobby to bring lunch down here. I am not being paid to be the lunchtime entertainment."

Anyway, how could he eat with everyone staring and smiling at him as though he were an animal in a Muggle zoo? He knew they were just hoping that one of his children would put a toe out of line. He knew that they relished the idea of discord in the Snape household. At least the students did. The faculty just smiled at him with something between amusement and pity. He hated that above all. Mostly because he couldn't take points from his co-workers.

Lunch in the dining area was a much simpler affair, much more relaxing, and he made a mental note to take all further meals this weekend in-quarters.

Afterward, Severus returned to his study, leaving the door ajar so he could hear if anything was amiss. His ankle twisted on the empty bottle of red ink as he moved to sit down. With a deep sigh, he banished the bottle, performed a cleaning spell on the scattered dollies, and Summoned them into their box before determinedly placing a bottle of green ink on his blotter to finish grading the essays. Green was infinitely easier on the eyes ... his eyes anyway.

The last essay topped them all. He wondered if perhaps sending a copy of these poorly written essays home to these students' parents would make much difference? Probably not. He had taught a fair number of their parents as well, and they hadn't written any better. It was a lost cause. Slashing the last few green marks across the page, he finally sat his quill on its rest and stretched out the kinks in his neck. The essays were finished, and now, he could enjoy the blissful silence.

Silence?

Severus leapt out of his chair and made it to the door before silence became nothing but a memory. With a crack, all hell broke loose. A cacophony of whizzes and zips and bangs and whirls and bells pirouetted and ricocheted and echoed off the walls of the sitting room. He opened the door to an equally horrifying and magnificent sight: his sitting room being coated in the dust of an escaped Weasley Wildfire Whiz-bang.

Severus's exclamation got lost in the thunder of the fireworks. "What in blazes is going on here?!" If anyone had been watching...which they most certainly were not, due to there being something much more excited to look at...all they would have seen was his mouth angrily flexing and contorting in his increasingly reddening face.

Cavorting amidst the falling debris, his children screeched and laughed with delight, totally oblivious to the fact that their father stood glowering at them from the doorway. Severus knew all too well that Weasley Wildfire Whiz-bangs went out when they had exhausted themselves and were impervious to spells. He'd learnt that years ago, the day the infamous Weasley twins expelled themselves from Hogwarts. With no other options, he crossed his arms and waited on the periphery, not willing to get himself soiled, and cursed as a fiery finger licked a trail of ash across the front of his robes. Just wait until he got his hands on the sod who supplied his six-year-old with forbidden fireworks. His fists clenched at his sides as the pings and wheezes and shoots and bangs petered to a halt.

Saffie groaned, "Awww," and then turned around to see her Daddy's scowling face in the doorway.

"Uh-oh!" the two dust-covered children shrieked in unison as they turned tail and ran.

"Get back here, the BOTH OF YOU!" It felt so good to finally be heard.

With three long strides, he quickly caught up with the troublemakers, catching them by the necks of their robes. He pulled them into the bathroom where he was sure not to get anything else dirty. He wanted to scream. In fact, Hermione would have been proud at his restraint. The kids just stood there, silent and wide-eyed, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

But not this time. Suddenly, the anger focused, and his mind became as clear and as cold as ice. His voice, instead of increasing in volume and pitch, lowered to the deepest and most deadliest whisper. "Sean ... who gave you that Wildfire Whiz-bang?"

Knowing that one does not easily hold information from his father, and being too scared out of his wits to aggravate the man any further, Sean stuttered, "U-U-Uncle F-F-Fred."

"I see." Severus sat back on his haunches and surveyed the children before standing up. Scrutinizing his son, he ordered, "Clean yourself up and your sister, and I will see you in the sitting room when you are through." Then he stalked out of the room and slammed the door.

The sitting room was no longer a sitting room. To say it was a mess was a gross understatement. Amidst the ash from the burning fireworks were particles of multicolored spells that had exhausted themselves, spirals of some kind of burnt metal that had spun about the room and torn a few tapestries in their wake, and an odd assortment of confetti-like material.

Mouth set in a grim line, Severus set about cleaning up the mess, one spell at a time, and repairing the damage. He was only half finished by the time the kids reappeared. With a flick of his wand, the couch was cleared, and he ordered them to sit, which they did with breakneck speed. Not a word passed either of their lips as they watched their father fix the damage they had wrought.

Thirty minutes later, the job was finally done. Exhausted, Severus looked at the guilty expressions on Sean and Saffie's faces. He no longer had the energy to yell, even if he had wanted to.

"What were you thinking, Sean? You are aware that Wildfire Whiz-bangs are forbidden in our home. We told you that on your last birthday. The first thing you are going to do is hand over to me all the items you have from the twins' joke shop."

"But..." Sean sputtered in indignation.

"No 'buts,' Master Snape. The punishment fits the crime. Furthermore, there will be no purchase of items from their shop for six months. I am tempted to forbid you to even look at a member of the Weasley family for at least a year, but I'm afraid that would upset your mother. However, she will be apprised of the situation, and she will uphold my punishment as it stands. Now, for the other part of your punishments..." No, it was not over yet. "Saffie, you will sit in the corner by the fireplace for as long as it took me to clean this place up. That would be about an hour by my best guess. And Sean, you will get out your writing kit and write an essay no shorter than a half-parchment on how you failed to watch your little sister in a safe manner."

Neither child moved. Instead, they sat there with their mouths gaping open at his pronouncement. No complaints, just incredulity.

"Go. I need to rest for a bit. I will be back to check on your progress." Severus stood up, expecting them to do the same. When they didn't, he let out a sharp "NOW!" and they scrambled out of their seats to their ordered positions.

Heavy spell work was tiring. He needed a nap and hoped that after the punishment he just gave, he would have a little bit of time to recover. The second his head hit the pillow on his great, sadly-vacant, king-sized bed, he dozed off. Of course, he woke with a start less than ten minutes later...greatly relieved that it had only been ten minutes, worried that it had been more...after having an extraordinarily ridiculous dream about a dragon flying through the castle with his children on its back. Bloody Weasleys. Rubbing his eyes, he got up to check on the kids.

Pausing for a moment at the door, he heard muffled voices coming from the other side. Not even a quarter of an hour and his son was already defying his punishment. He opened the door to the sitting room only to find Sean's butt wiggling in front of the fireplace and Saffie leaning over so far in to see that he was sure she was going to fall through the Floo to the other side. Severus grabbed her just in time and yanked his son back simultaneously.

"Good afternoon, Professor," came the overly bright voice. A shag-headed, young man's face had replaced his son's bum. "How are things going with Hermione out of town?"

"Stop indulging me, Potter. No doubt Sean told you all about it. The children have apparently decided to take advantage of their mother being gone and are attempting to give me a difficult time. I, however, am managing just fine."

Harry smiled, though he dropped the false cheeriness from his tone. A hand ruffled through his hair. "Really, Professor. Hermione told me you may need help. My weekend is completely open; I could be there in a half-hour."

Severus put a halt to the children's cheers and pleads with a single hand. "No need, Mister Potter. I said I had matters under control. The last thing I need is more trouble; no doubt they have learned most of it from you and that sidekick of yours. Now, the children have punishments to fulfill. Good day." Severus cut off the Floo connection abruptly.

"Back in your seat, young man. You barely have twenty words on that parchment. Corner, Saffie."

~~~~~o o~~~~~

Thankfully, the hard work of the punishment, both the essay-writing and the corner-sitting, wore the children out. They both napped for a good hour and a half. Severus puttered around his lab, making lists of supplies that would have to be replenished next weekend in Diagon Alley. In the sudden calmness, he nearly forgot that Hermione was gone.

In fact, he did forget. The high-pitched screaming and laughter from the other room brought reality crashing back in on him. Sighing, he gave up his professional pursuits for his fatherly ones.

Thankfully, there was noise but no mayhem. The kids had woken from their naps and Sean had charmed some silly little red-furred doll with bulging eyes and a gigantic orange nose that Saffie had received last Christmas from Hermione's parents. It was dancing in a stiff-legged sort of way around the room and singing some obnoxiously repetitive song Severus remembered remotely from his own childhood.

Saffie was twirling madly and chanting over and over in what only a two-year-old could call a singing voice, "Ta rah, ta rah BUN dee ay! Ta rah, ta rah BUN dee ay!"

Severus shook his head and went to make himself a pot of tea. At least they weren't painting anything red, blowing anything up or killing each other. A little noise he could deal with at the moment.

Taking tea at his desk while the kids played in the other room could almost be seen as relaxing, he figured. After all, he didn't have to raise his voice, and he could hear if anything were to go monumentally wrong. After a while, the children...thankfully...got tired of the hellish song and went on to other endeavours.

"Sing Rock-a-bye, Saff," Severus heard Sean prod his sister from the other room.

Saffie squealed and complied. "Rock-a-bye bay-bee on a treetop! When a wind blow the cray-dull will rock. When a bow break, Saffie will fawl!" Her screech made Severus jump and run across the room. "And bruh-der will catch me, cray-dull and awl!"

Severus thought about scolding Sean for levitating his sister again, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He simply shook his head in disbelief and returned to ease the beginnings of another headache with more tea.

~~~~~o o~~~~~

An hour later, the headache was under control, and he sat reading the latest Potions Quarterly and half-listening to the chatter of the children in the other room. They weren't quiet, which was a good thing because silence usually spelled trouble. But they were talking and laughing and Severus was actually enjoying it for a change; he had always hoped for a relationship like that when he was young. A younger...or older...sister or brother that he could talk to and exchange secrets with, someone who would look out for him and vice versa.

It was the reason Severus had agreed to have a second child, the fact that he had never experienced such a relationship. He wanted Sean to have a different sort of childhood. He wanted his children to be happy and well-adjusted. He could only hope he was doing a good job. He knew that at least he provided a good home, and the children had a mother who exceeded his expectations in every way.

A knock on his study door drew his thoughts out of the past. "Enter," Severus called out automatically before he had a chance to remember the importance of avoiding visitors this weekend.

Minerva poked her head in the room. "Severus." She beamed at him matronly. "How are you doing? I brought something to keep Sean and Saffie occupied. I thought you could use the reprieve."

Much too much like Albus. He scowled. Spoiling the children with gifts, putting her nose where it didn't belong. She called out to the children before he even had a chance to respond, and they came running in to snatch the gifts out of her hand.

"Say thank you to Auntie Minerva," Severus reminded the children. They did so hastily and ran off to add another dolly to the collection and begin reading the latest book.

"Really, Minerva. You spoil them too much." His protestations were always ignored. He had no idea why he wasted his breath.

"Oh, Severus. Who else do I get to spoil? I have no grandchildren, and Sean and Saffie are just too precious not to spoil. Now, tell me, how are you getting on without Hermione, dear? Would you like me to take the children off your hands for a couple hours?"

"What? And return them to me loaded with sweets, too high on sugar to sit still for five minutes? No thank you, Minerva. I am doing just fine. Anyone who told you differently was lying." He was a little worried that perhaps Potter had spoken with her.

"Who would have told me differently, Severus? Is there something I should know?" Minerva was entirely too intuitive, which was probably why she was Deputy Headmistress.

"No, there is nothing you should know, Minerva. Thank you for giving the children something to occupy their time, and thank you for stopping by." He hoped that would be enough to see her out the door.

"All right, dear. But do let me know if you require assistance. I'll be more than happy to help." Minerva looked wistfully at the half-closed sitting room door.

Honestly, you would think she wanted something to go wrong, the way she is acting, he thought as he made sure she made it completely out the door. Shutting it behind him, he went to check on the kids before settling in to read the rest of the article.

They were not in the sitting room. Nor were they in their rooms. Now where could they have gone? He began a systematic search, thinking that perhaps they were playing a joke on him. They couldn't have left the quarters. He had wards that notified him if anyone entered or left, and they were still in place.

Nevertheless, he began to panic when his search turned up nothing. "Sean? Saffie? This is not funny. You both come out right now!" He was certain Sean hadn't learned the Disillusionment Charm yet. He had threatened Filius within a millimetre of his life if he even dared to teach Sean that one. But Sean was quite advanced for his age and loved to read; it was entirely within the realm of possibility that he learned it himself. Without an answer, he decided to start in Sean's room once more and search a little more thoroughly this time.

When he entered his son's room the second time, he heard a hushed voice coming from behind the bed. He listened more closely.

"I mean it, Saff! Shut up or Dad'll hear us! And don't you dare throw up. I don't want my hiding place smelling like tossed-up Top-Offs!"

Thinking back on it, Severus would have to admit that the element of surprise was not the wisest approach in all situations: namely, where Weasley's Technicolor Top-Offs were concerned. He never knew there were so many colors possible in the spectrum. And the volume!

Mentally kicking himself for forgetting to confiscate his son's contraband, he placed both kids fully clothed in the bathtub and went to make himself a large pot of tea before beginning another round of cleaning spells. This was going to be a long night.

~ End Day Two