Long Goodbyes, Short Hellos

I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters; J. K. Rowling does. In addition, I do not make any profit from this fanfiction. Huge thank you to my betas Valady and AmyLouise.

Nah, man

Shit, I feel like I can do anything now*

Long Goodbyes, Short Hellos

1

By the next morning, a decision was reached - Severus Snape was leaving Hogwarts for good. He had a new life to live and the witch to find.

Alas, it turned out that reaching this fateful and utterly life-changing decision was much easier than accomplishing it. Severus' next steps proved to be quite challenging, and even poignant, at some point. A talk with Minerva, for example, was annoyingly emotional, on the Headmistress' part of course. A search for a replacement, on the other hand, was sheer torture and required bottomless patience. Luckily, Severus possessed just the right amount of it.

The wizard embraced the situation with readiness, deriving his enthusiasm from nightly dreams about his future and a certain witch. With his habitual thoroughness, Severus spent the whole summer flipping through the candidates and rejecting them one by one. By the end of August, he was already losing hope. Fate, however, decided to offer Severus a little present once again, and just a week before school started, he finally found a suitable replacement for himself.

It wasn't the end of Severus' prolonged parting with Hogwarts, though. Sure enough, with his replacement being excellent in Potions but rather amateur in teaching, Minerva implored Severus to stay at least for a few months and train the novice. Severus had a strong desire to decline, yet he couldn't. Hogwarts had been his home for far too long, and he couldn't just leave it without a second glance, or without making sure that the new Potions master was truly ready. Thus, he just clenched his teeth and stayed, putting his life on hold once again.

Of course, it took a bloody school year to properly prepare his replacement for the Potions master's position. It was a long and lonely year that poor Severus spent in vivid night dreams and constant perusal of The Daily Prophet in search of crumbs of information about Miss Granger. He was fastidiously watching the witch's every move. Thank Merlin for the press and its obsession with everything about the Golden Trio.

From the Prophet, Severus knew that Miss Granger had chosen to join the Healer's program at St. Mungo's. Her decision to become a Healer didn't surprise him. Moreover, he wholeheartedly approved the witch's choice...she obviously had a talent in that particular area. He had experienced it himself during that memorable brief period of time in Hogwarts infirmary, which started it all. The girl could make him feel better with the lightest touch. He was in denial back then, but now he knew that even her fingertips possessed a healing power. Although Severus did note that he could hardly be objective as he dreamed about those fingertips almost every night. "Entirely biased is more like it," hummed the wizard, hiding behind a newspaper and fruitlessly trying to conceal his grin from Minerva's sharp eyes.

As the year progressed, the Prophet published a few troubling articles about Miss Granger's involvement with Ronald Weasley. Ignoring his heart's painful tightening, Severus dismissed these warning signs as the media's weak attempts to quench the crowd's thirst for romance. The wizard just couldn't believe that nonsense. Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley, huffed Severus to himself, what an asinine notion. Plus, he was certain that Miss Granger wasn't at all eager to tie any knots.

However, when articles began to reinforce their claims with photographs, worry and jealousy saturated his soul. His heavy heart lay in his chest, making it difficult to draw a breath as he looked at those damned pictures and kept muttering "bloody idiot" in his powerless rage. To be honest, even he didn't know to whom exactly he referred...to himself or to Weasley.

The last straw came on one of early spring's mornings when the Prophet ran a huge photograph of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley holding hands in public. Unable to contain himself, Severus crumpled the thin paper and left breakfast in a furious billow of black robes. He didn't touch the Prophet after that, and for the rest of the year, time changed its pace to a slow crawl.

Eventually, however, this torturously long school year did come to an end just like everything else. The Potions master was perfectly ready to replace him, and the wizard refused to stay in the school any longer. The very day after all the students had left, Severus Snape collected a few things that mattered to him, carefully packed his books and finally, finally bid his long-awaited farewell to Hogwarts.

"Good luck, Severus. Have a good life," said Minerva, whose eyes glistened peculiarly, "because you deserve it." And that was it; the end of one epoch and the start of another, in which, the wizard sincerely hoped, fate would be kinder to him than before.

2

Severus decided not to return to Spinner's End. He just couldn't make himself live there again. Instead, he stayed at the Leaky Cauldron while he looked for a new house. He had managed to save money during his teaching years by being frugal. Plus, his First Class Order of Merlin came with a round sum as well. It took quite a bit of running around, but by the end of June, Severus Snape became an owner of a house near a park. Actually, it was the last before the park's entrance, which suited him perfectly. Although the house was on the smallish side, it had everything he needed and was full of light and airy. Plus, there was a nice French bakery near by where fresh rolls and baguettes were available at six in the morning.

A few more weeks were spent in unpacking, buying furniture, and setting up a library and a potion lab. After days of hard work, everything in the house found its place. Every book was put on a shelf in a strict and proper order, every cauldron was meticulously cleaned, and every ingredient carefully stored. Finally, his bachelor's nest looked presentable, and at last, Severus felt that he was ready to go to St. Mungo's. It was time to find Miss Granger.

And he almost did go. Only Severus happened to glance in a mirror right before leaving the house, and he didn't like what he saw there at all. He did see himself every day during his morning toilette, of course. Yet he didn't realise just how hideous he looked until he saw his reflection in a full-sized mirror in a foyer. His trousers and overcoat were dated at best; his shoes had seen better days a decade ago; and his hair clearly needed attention. No witch would look twice at him...he was certain...especially such a young and attractive one. He desperately needed new clothes, shoes and, maybe, even a haircut.

It took Severus three days to work up the nerve to go shopping in Muggle London. He had money, but what he lacked was an understanding of how to and where. And he had no one to ask for help. There, at that moment, for the first time in many years, he regretted his unwillingness to have friends. In the late afternoon of the third day, annoyed and disappointed in himself, he finally went out there. Already standing in front of numerous, irritatingly bright London stores, the wizard still was unsure of his actions. Finally, a neon sign Gap caught Severus' attention. He thought that the name was somewhat symbolic since he was, in some way, closing a gap between himself and the modern world after all. Muttering, "What the heck," he bravely walked into the store.

All the confidence which he had managed to muster during those three days evaporated the moment he stepped inside, though. Blinded by lights and deafened by loud music, he instantly forgot why he was there. Luckily, a doll of a girl with bright pink hair came to his rescue.

"How may I help you, sir? What you are looking for?" she asked politely in a high-pitched voice. Severus, who was already half-blind and half-deaf, only managed to hiss, "Something soft."

The doll-like girl arched her perfectly drawn eyebrow disapprovingly, pursed her candy pink lips and said, "Please, follow me, sir." Twenty minutes later, Severus was back on the street with a huge white bag in his hand and with no idea what was inside. It had been a fiasco.

"Fuck," he cursed as he decided to take a walk. He needed to calm down. While he was walking down the street, manoeuvring between hurrying Muggles, a light rain began to drizzle, darkening his mood even further. Dark doubts began to poison his mind, and millions of what ifs suddenly pierced his heart. Engrossed in those heavy thoughts, he didn't notice that someone was calling him.

"Professor Snape!" his brain registered.

Who on Earth would call me Professor Snape here? he thought. Perplexed, he turned around. There, right in front of him, was Pansy Parkinson, breathing heavily from running. She looked remarkably different, barely recognisable. Only because Severus had known her since she was eleven did he manage to recognise her. In bewilderment, Severus took in Pansy's purple hair, huge black boots, black nails and three earrings in one ear.

"What are you doing here, Professor?" asked the witch when she finally caught her breath.

"I can ask you the same question, Miss Parkinson. What are you doing here in Muggle London? What happened to your hair and nails? Did you join some kind of sect? Why did you violate your ear, Miss Parkinson? Was it misbehaving?" scolded Severus.

"Nah, Professor, relax, I am Goth this week." Pansy rolled her eyes at her former teacher's scowl. "I am working in that boutique. You probably know:  it's a final stage of our rehabilitation program. We all have to work at least six months in Muggle institutions," explained Pansy. Severus recalled reading about the Ministry's special program for Death Eaters' children and nodded in acknowledgement.

"So, how are you, Professor? I heard you left Hogwarts. Finally, sir, you need to start living, you know, just like everybody..." Pansy abruptly stopped her tirade and focused her eyes on the bag in Severus' hands. "What is this in your hand, sir? Did you go shopping? Why the hell did you choose an American store, Professor?"

"American?" repeated Severus distractedly, suddenly feeling inadequate under Pansy's penetrating gaze. "I didn't know it was. I just needed a few new trousers and shirts."

"Oh, I see," Pansy tucked her purple lock behind her ear and thought for a minute. "You know what, wait here, Professor, I'll be right back." Severus surprised himself by nodding affirmatively. A few minutes later the witch was back. "Alright, that's done." And she boldly intertwined her arm with Severus' and led him down the street. "Now, sir, I'll teach you how to shop properly."

It seemed to Severus that they spent countless hours in different boutiques as Pansy called them. By the end of this torture, however, Severus had everything he needed...trousers, shirts, overcoat, and few pairs of shoes. Pansy did try to force him to buy other colours than black and white. But, despite all her efforts, the wizard didn't budge. Trousers and overcoat ought to be black, and shirts ought to be crisp white. Nothing had changed there...Severus Snape still didn't consider other colours practical or appropriate.

During their shopping spree, Pansy told Severus everything about other Slytherins who were on the program. He now knew that Blaise Zabini worked in an Italian restaurant. He started as a busboy there and was now a second chef. Theodore Nott was employed by a London library as a vintage book specialist, and Draco Malfoy found a job in Harrods' men's clothing department. These bits of news filled Severus' heart with contentment. It was gratifying to know that his students were all right, that they had managed to adapt as true Slytherins despite the horrible war into which their parents had dragged them.

When Severus and Pansy stood on the sidewalk hours later, she gave him a knowing smile. "Congratulations, Professor. Now that you have a proper wardrobe, you can pursue your target, a desired witch I suppose."

"Don't talk nonsense, Miss Parkinson!" rebuked Severus, feeling embarrassed that he was about to blush.

"Yeah, yeah, sir, whatever. By the way, you will need trainers for those joggers and sweatshirts you bought in Gap. I can help you with that as well, if you wish. All you need to do is swing by my boutique sometime. Oh, and Professor, never ever use a drying charm on trousers, or on any article of clothing for that matter, or they will shrink just like your old trousers." Pansy turned on her heel and began to walk down the street. After a minute, the wind brought to Severus her parting words, "See you, Professor. And remember, no drying charms on trousers."

The wizard uttered a huff but then smirked and muttered, "Cheeky witch." Afterward, at home, Severus decided that he definitely should see Draco, Blaise and Theo. Maybe, he thought, Miss Parkinson can organize that. However, it was not his first priority now. He was finally and truly ready to pay a visit to St. Mungo's.

3

Next morning, Severus walked out of the house in his new outfit, with his hair tied back with a leather string, which Miss Parkinson had found for him yesterday, and for once he was feeling good about himself. He strode to the park entrance for a quick stroll. Walking through an old wrought iron gate, he noticed a cardboard box with "FREE" written on it in large letters. Curiosity got the better of him, and he peered inside. Twelve pairs of hopeful puppy eyes peered back at him.

Severus crinkled his nose in disapproval, muttered "Mongrels," and continued his walk.

He Apparated to St. Mungo's from a secluded area of the park. His plan was simple...he was going to offer his potions making skills to the hospital. He was certain that he would be able to obtain a consulting position there. He was the best-known potions maker in the country, after all. Plus, this morning Severus believed in himself: he felt that he would get the job, find and woo his witch, and that she would be his, having completely forgotten Ron Weasley.

The meeting with St. Mungo's General Healer went just as the wizard expected. Healer Tibald was extremely enthusiastic about this rare opportunity to have Severus Snape as a consultant in their Potions department. He immediately offered him an agreeable salary and a premium for every project he directed. Severus, on the other hand, was pleasantly surprised by St. Mungo's laboratory. Since the conversation thoroughly satisfied both parties, they shook hands, and Severus agreed to start next Monday.

The wizard was leaving Healer Tibald's office in an excellent mood. His heart was filled with triumph. The first part of his plan had gone extremely smoothly...he had found a proper job near his desired witch, as Miss Parkinson had referred to her yesterday. Airborne by his early success, Severus didn't pay attention to where he was going and collided with someone unnaturally blond and dressed in the most ridiculously magenta-coloured suit. "Skeeter," he growled with abhorrence as soon as he recognised her.

"Severus Snape," replied the infamous reporter, puckering her fuchsia lips in a coquettish smile. "I wonder, what is our famous hero doing here?"

Severus stifled a disgusted shudder. "Nothing you have to trouble your magenta-coloured brain with, Skeeter. I am sure you can dig something juicier from the manure in which you are wallowing. Now, move out of the way, because I cannot stand the stench!"

Rita puffed angrily but stepped back, giving Severus an opportunity to leave the Healer's office. The wizard had gone a few steps, when he heard Skeeter's falsetto, "Healer Tibald, please confirm that Hermione Granger is taking a three month sabbatical due to her impending nuptials with Ronald Weasley."

Dumbstruck, Severus stopped in his tracks. A dreadful realization stabbed his heart with its ice-cold knife, twisting slowly with each following word. In a haze, he heard the Healer's reply, "I am not sure how you found out about that, but I don't see any harm in confirming it. I am sure an official announcement is already on its way. Yes, Miss Skeeter, it is true. Miss Granger decided to take a three-month break. She is going to return to her studies as Mrs Weasley right after the honeymoon."

The heartbroken wizard didn't wait even a second after the word 'honeymoon' reached him. He needed to leave this place before he destroyed it in his fury, so he Apparated right from the office. A few moments later, he appeared in the park. He stood there under the pouring rain for the longest time, shouting profanities into a grey sky and crushing his fists against an unforgiving granite post. Thank Merlin there was no one around. He was so unbelievably furious with himself, with his imbecilic presumption that this time around he could hope for happiness. How could he believe that? Oh, what an utter idiot! Damn Molly Weasley for bringing him back!

Eventually he ran out of cusses as his voice became hoarse and his knuckles turned into a bloody mess. It was time to go home. Severus slowly walked toward the old gates when he noticed that the box with the puppies was still there. In the rain, the soggy cardboard "FREE" sign had become unreadable. Severus peeked inside, expecting to find the box empty but was surprised to find a pair of little eyes staring at him. A tiny, completely black and extremely unhappy-looking puppy was sitting there. Yet it didn't whine. It just sat there and silently stared at the wizard. There was something strange about its gaze, something that Severus couldn't decipher. Intrigued, he bent over the box and observed the creature carefully. Then he understood...the puppy's eyes were different colours...one blue and one brown.

How bizarre, thought the wizard and lightly petted its wet head. "Not your lucky day, mutt? Welcome to the club," muttered Severus. Then he straightened up and turned to leave. There, he paused, and after a short contemplation, said, "Come on, Black, if you want to live with me, you have to get out of the box by yourself." After this, Severus just kept walking until he reached his door. He entered the house without a backward glance, though he did leave the door slightly ajar. A short while later, he heard a tapping of tiny wet paws over his wooden floor and drew a heavy sigh. At least, he wasn't alone anymore.

* Eminem/Cinderella Man