My Mind Aches
Chapter 32 of 34
little belovedHermione considers her new discovery.
A/N: Dear readers. Thank you so, so much for your lovely reviews and messages this week. They meant an awful lot. And Dr Beloved enjoyed them too. :)
You may find this chapter frustrating. Never fear the next chapter will be up on Tuesday, and you will have answers. And then, next Friday, I will post the epilogue, and Denial will be finished. Then I will try to respond to your kind reviews.
This chapter is the storm before the calm, so sit tight. And if you're in Europe like me, enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest. ;)
LB x
My mind aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk.
- John Keats, from Ode to a Nightingale
***
Hermione stared in numb disbelief at the fading white circle that still hovered inches away from her stomach.
"Pregnant," she whispered to herself.
She was simultaneously elated and terrified; she was shocked, but at the same time accepting. This was what she had wanted for so very long: a child of her own to love and to nurture. She had so often envied the happiness of her friends; she had so often gazed at Padma's twins as they slept and felt a throb of longing deep within her. One of her most cherished dreams had just come true, but the circumstances were not what she would have desired.
She rose from the floor and sat on the stool before the dressing table, inspecting her white face eagerly. It looked no different, save for the fact that she was paler than usual, and her eyes were rimmed with red. Lowering her gaze to her stomach, she placed her hand below the waistband of her jeans, but she could detect no alteration.
It was almost impossible to believe, and, wondering if her mind had been playing some sort of cruel trick, she bent to pick her wand up from the floor. Pointing it to her abdomen once more, she repeated the spell, her eyes widening when the white circle shot from the end of her wand and hovered in the air before her still-flat stomach. There could be no denying she had conceived.
She gazed at herself in the mirror again. She was really, truly, carrying a child. Her child; Severus's child. As her thoughts turned to what his reaction might be, she covered her face with her hands once more. He would not be pleased. He had admitted that he'd never had any desire for a child, that his miserable upbringing had divested him of any aspiration to continue his line.
Was it possible he would want nothing to do with her now that she was carrying his child? He had insisted they would be together no matter what, but he had not bargained on having to deal with a pregnancy; he had not signed up for fatherhood.
She stood up, wondering what could be taking him so long. It had been hours and hours since she had taken her leave of him, and she was beginning to fret that all was not going according to plan. She had known it would not be easy to talk Cordelia into a divorce, but she had expected to hear something from him by now.
She remembered the black and white image of Cordelia gazing at Theo on his fifth birthday, and she wondered if Cordelia, with her beauty, and her gift for seduction, had somehow managed to persuade Severus to remain her husband.
Hermione shook her hand. No, it couldn't be possible. Focusing on the assurances Severus had given her that morning, she sat on the edge of her bed. He would send word soon. She was sure of it.
***
Severus bid Cordelia goodnight and headed straight for his study. In less than twenty-four hours he would no longer be a married man, and he felt a stiff drink was in order. Pouring himself a double Firewhisky, he raised his glass as if to toast his own success, realising as he did that he owed an enormous debt to Lancelot Mill. How perceptive, he thought, of the old man to realise that love would win where enmity had failed.
He smiled. Never, in his wildest dreams, had he thought the catalyst that would end his marriage would be Hermione Granger. He had never expected to love anyone enough to turn his life upside-down to be with them. And even though he was about to be rendered homeless, and despite the fact that he had just lost his business premises, he knew she was worth every hardship, every harsh word that had been exchanged, and every difficulty that would need to be overcome in the future.
He looked at his watch: he and Cordelia had spent many hours coming to their final agreement with regard to the money he owed her, and it was now after ten. He knew Hermione must be eager to hear from him by now, so he set his whisky on the mantelpiece and Summoned his cloak from across his study. The thought of how she might react to his astonishing news made him smile, and he wondered how best he might break it to her.
He'd almost reached the front door when he stopped, suddenly revising his plan. What if he told her now and it all went horribly wrong? What if Cordelia changed her mind during the night? He would hate to raise Hermione's hopes only to dash them to pieces the very next day.
Tomorrow morning he would finally be in a position to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him. Perhaps it would be better to surprise her then, to appear before her as a single man, his divorce papers in hand. His romantic idea of declaring his love for her in Paris had gone wrong, but he would do it properly this time.
Climbing the stairs once more, he decided he would send her a note to allay her fears for tonight, and tomorrow, she would know the full story. After all, he had his personal belongings to pack, to say nothing of the contents of his laboratory. He also needed to start contacting people who might be able to furnish him with temporary living quarters. They would need to be large enough to house his laboratory, and he wondered if Hermione would want to live with him immediately, or would she, perhaps, prefer to wait until they were wed? It mattered little: he was not short of money, so he would acquire premises that were big enough for two, just in case. His mind full of the new life on which he was about to embark, he returned to his study to write to Hermione.
***
Hermione stared at the note in her hand. Twelve hours had passed since she and Severus had parted company, and she'd expected something rather more informative than the hastily scribbled words his owl had delivered only moments before. With mounting alarm, she read it once more:
Hermione,
Although we have made some progress, the situation has become rather more complex than I had anticipated. There is much that requires my attention, and I will contact you with a full explanation tomorrow. I beseech you not to worry.
Yours,
Severus.
She crumpled the slip of parchment into a ball and threw it across her bedroom. Why would he send such a cold, impersonal note? Surely he knew she'd spent the entire day fretting, and yet, he had made her feel even worse by hinting that something had gone terribly wrong in his negotiations with his wife.
She gave a rueful laugh as she recalled the last line: I beseech you not to worry. It was true that he couldn't know how drastically their situation had changed, but he had been aware that she'd been both fatigued and distressed when they'd parted, and the negligent manner with which he had treated her peace of mind was a cause for concern.
Hanging her head, she pressed a hand to her temple where a vicious headache throbbed. His lack of consideration was worrying, and it boded ill for his reception of her news. Hermione curled into a ball on her bed, and with one hand pressed protectively to her stomach, she cried herself to sleep.
***
Severus tried to keep his expression neutral as he signed his name on the legal document before him. He knew a moment of deep satisfaction as his signature glowed bright blue for a moment before fading to black. Sitting back in his chair, he pushed the sheet of thick parchment across the table to Cordelia and watched as she signed her name beneath his own. When she had finished, the Ministry of Magic clerk Summoned the document from across his desk and sealed it with a flick of his wand.
Severus turned to face Cordelia, and she raised her gaze to his, bestowing him with a small smile.
"Your divorce is now legally recognised," said the clerk in a disinterested tone of voice. "You are no longer man and wife, and you will both be subject to the Marriage Law once more when the six-month period of grace has elapsed." He made duplicate copies of their divorce certificate and handed them one apiece. His gaze immediately moved to the door of his office. "Next!" he cried.
Severus raised an eyebrow as he and his now ex-wife headed for the door, which had already been opened by another divorcing couple. Outside, he smirked at the long line of disgruntled-looking couples in the queue. Despite Kingsley Shacklebolt's protestations to the contrary, it appeared that the Marriage Law had reached crisis point.
He walked with Cordelia to the Atrium, feeling unusually light-hearted.
"Well, Severus," Cordelia said. "What will you do now that our separation is a fait accompli? Where will you go?"
"I've made arrangements to view a number of properties in Diagon Alley," he said. "I promised I would not move across the square, and I will keep that promise."
"Have you spoken to Hermione?"
He shook his head. "I decided against telling her last night; I thought it would be preferable to approach her when we had secured our divorce."
Cordelia laughed. "You did not trust me, Severus? You thought I would renege on my promise?"
"Not at all," he lied. "But I had little faith in the divorce clerk to grant us a divorce so speedily. It's apparent, however, that the Ministry are snowed under with potential divorcees; I wouldn't be at all surprised to find the Marriage Law abolished in the near future."
Cordelia glanced behind at the long queue of witches and wizards. "I think you might be right."
Severus examined his former wife's face. "Why did you suggest we divorce two months early, Cordelia?"
"Do you suspect me of foul play, Severus?"
He shook his head. "I'm simply curious. If you forgive my saying so, it's not in our Slytherin natures to suggest something that is likely to put us out rather than to benefit us."
"Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not quite the self-centred dragon-lady some might think I am." She stopped and turned to face him. "You and I have reached a compromise, Severus, but I'm not the most forgiving person in the world. That is why I requested you and Hermione do not live across Kensington square. It's the girl's home, however, and I do feel guilty for having forced you to agree without consulting Hermione herself. I suggested we move the date forward in order to ease my guilty conscience. So perhaps you are right; perhaps I only did it because it was of benefit to me. I can sleep more soundly knowing that I offered something in exchange."
Severus met her gaze for a moment, until he was assured she spoke the truth. "Regardless of your motivations, Cordelia, you have my gratitude." He'd only slept for an hour the night before. His packing had taken considerably longer than he'd foreseen, and when eventually he'd made it to his bedroom, the memory of the letter she had been scribbling the morning before had weighed on his mind. "Might I ask a question?" he ventured.
Cordelia nodded.
"To whom were you writing when I entered your sitting room, yesterday morning?"
She smirked. "More conspiracy theories? I was writing to Everard," she admitted, looking embarrassed. "I've been telling him for months that I thought there was something going on between you and Hermione. I was writing an 'I-told-you-so' kind of letter."
Severus chuckled. "Did you write to him last night?"
She shook her head. "I thought I would Apparate to Scotland today and tell him the good news in person."
They'd reached the fireplaces in the Atrium, and Cordelia proffered her hand. "Good luck, Severus," she said with a genuine smile. "I wish you well."
"And I you," he replied, shaking her hand.
She turned and walked away from him, giving him a brief wave before she took a handful of Floo powder and disappeared in a rush of green flames.
Severus gazed at the spot where she'd vanished, still hardly able to believe that he was, at last, free of his marriage. It was almost lunch time, and eager though he was to see Hermione, it was imperative he select premises to rent before the day was through. Taking a fistful of Floo powder, he stepped into the fireplace and said, "The Leaky Cauldron."
***
Hermione paced the kitchen, feeling, if it were possible, even more of a nervous wreck than she had the night before her NEWT exams. It was early afternoon, and, after a fitful sleep, she'd risen at seven in the morning, eager to see if another letter from Severus might have arrived while she'd slept. She'd even found his note from the night before crumpled in a ball in the corner, and she'd reread the contents, hoping something would give her a clue as to what, exactly, might be going on across Kensington Square.
He'd promised he would contact her as soon as possible, yet here she was, it was already after lunchtime, and he'd not even obliged her with another note. She knew she was feeling more emotional and vulnerable than usual; she knew her hormones were playing havoc with her mind, but she could not help feeling abandoned.
Finally, in a fit of paranoia, she sent Moe across the square to find out what was going on. The elf reappeared in the kitchen with a loud crack a few minutes later, her large, protuberant eyes even wider than was normal.
Hermione dropped to her knees before Moe. "Well? Did Severus say anything?"
Moe shook her head. "They is not there, Miss Hermione. I is checking every room in the house, but Master Severus and Mistress Cordelia is not there."
Hermione's stomach lurched. "You're sure, Moe? Did you check to see if Severus was in the laboratory?"
Moe regarded her for a second, her big eyes troubled, and then lowered her gaze without speaking.
"Moe?" Hermione asked, her panic mounting. "What's the matter? Has something happened?"
Moe let out a long sigh. "The things in the laboratory is being gone, Miss Hermione."
"What? What do you mean, the things are gone?"
"All Master Severus's things, Miss Hermione: the cauldrons; the tins; those icky, slimy things that is being in the jars ..."
Hermione sat back on the cold stone floor, overcome by shocked disbelief. "He's gone?" she asked in a whisper. "Why would he have cleared out the laboratory? Did you check his study, Moe? Or his bedroom?"
Moe's big, doleful eyes filled with tears, and she nodded slowly. "His books is all gone, too. And his clothes."
Hermione covered her face with her hands, determined not to cry again. "What about Cordelia's things, Moe? Are they all still there?"
The little elf hesitated. "Her trunk is being gone, but her other things is still there."
Hermione frowned in confusion. Severus had cleared the house of his belongings, and Cordelia's trunk was also missing. What's more, neither of them was at home, and Cordelia always hosted her coffee mornings on Mondays. Something significant was obviously going on, and Severus had not even had the courage to tell her.
Despite her turbulent thoughts and her hammering heart, she rose calmly to her feet. She stared at the stove for a moment, then, turning to Moe, she said, "I have to leave for a little while, Moe. An awful lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours, and I really need to go somewhere and think about what I'm going to do. I'll need your help with some packing, if you don't mind."
Moe wrung her bony hands. "But where is you going, Miss Hermione?"
Hermione hesitated. She'd only known she was expecting a baby for one day, and she wanted to go somewhere where Severus was unlikely to find her, at least for the moment. It was important that she get her head around this and think about what lay ahead. Whether she was to raise this child as part of a couple or as a single mother, she knew it was a welcome development in her life. But she needed some time and space to think. If Severus was going to come to her and admit that he had decided to stay with his wife, she wanted to face him with courage and dignity; she wanted to confront him with this change in their circumstances without tears and despair.
There were only three days to go until Christmas, and she knew her parents would be distraught if she didn't come home for the holidays. But Severus knew where they lived, and she wanted to keep her distance for at least the next twenty-four hours. The thought of spending a few nights completely alone in a hotel room certainly wasn't appealing, especially at this time of year. Where else could she go? She thought about Harry and Ginny, but she was almost certain Severus knew they lived in Godric's Hollow.
"I'm going to stay with my friend, Padma, for a day or two," she said to Moe. Although Severus knew that she and Padma were friends, she was confident she'd never mentioned their address. "I might call on you for help over the coming days, Moe, but I need you to promise that you won't tell Severus where I am. Can you to keep it a secret?"
Moe regarded her for a moment, her big, glossy eyes sombre, and then she nodded. "Yes, Miss Hermione. I is keeping your secret." She stepped forward and looked at Hermione, her gaze finally coming to rest on Hermione's stomach. "I is keeping all your secrets," she added with a small smile.
Hermione raised an eyebrow, wondering how Moe had figured it out. "Thank you, Moe," she whispered, touched by the happy smile on the elf's face. Turning away, her eyes brimming with tears, she headed to her bedroom to pack her trunk, determined not to succumb to yet another crying fit.
***
Severus bade his new landlord good day and closed the door of his freshly acquired property with a sigh of relief. He had spent the afternoon visiting three different properties in Diagon Alley, and the third had proven adequate to his needs. It would certainly suffice until he and Hermione had reached an agreement on where they would like to live.
He crossed the small hall of the little mews and opened the door to the living room. It was pleasant enough, and he could picture Hermione curled up on the armchair next to the window, an open book on her lap, a blazing fire in the grate. A door at the end of the room opened into a small dining room and a kitchenette. With a start, he realised that he had no idea whether or not Hermione liked to cook. It was true that she'd prepared a meal for both of them on more than one occasion, but he'd no idea if she'd enjoyed the exercise or if it was a chore. How little he really knew about her.
Would she approve of the house he'd chosen? He moved the curtain at the tiny kitchen window and looked at the outbuilding in the courtyard. Although it looked like little more than a shed from the outside, the interior had been magically enlarged, and was perfectly suited as a makeshift laboratory. Severus wondered if he should, perhaps, have involved Hermione in the process of house-hunting. Although he could picture her here, he truly had no idea whether or not she would approve, and for the first time since Cordelia had agreed to the divorce, he wondered if Hermione would be furious with him for having agreed to what would amount to a full surrender of her Kensington Square property.
He thought of the life she led there: she seemed happy in the company of Lance and Moe. Maybe he had been presumptuous in sourcing a house for two. Maybe she would be perfectly happy to continue to live where she was. But then he recalled the moment on Saturday night when he'd asked her if she wanted to be with him, when she had answered, "More than anything." And that, surely, was evidence enough?
Leaving his boxes and trunks unpacked in the hallway, he left and headed back towards the Leaky Cauldron, keeping his face hidden behind his hair, hoping to avoid the curious stares of the Christmas shoppers. After he'd left the wizarding district and re-joined Muggle London, he paused at the window of a jeweller's shop. A tray of gleaming rings had caught his eye. It had not occurred to him before to purchase an engagement ring, and as he gazed upon a row of solitaire diamond rings, he almost dismissed the idea.
But then a glint of brightest red from the next window made him stop. On a satin-covered tray behind the glass sat a dozen rings, each of them set with rubies. One in particular had drawn his gaze: it was an eternity ring made of gold with alternating rubies and diamonds in the band. He smiled: it was perfect for a Gryffindor. Checking for his Muggle credit card beneath his cloak, he entered the shop. He would do it properly this time.
***
Hermione would have laughed at Padma's facial expression if she hadn't been feeling less inclined to gaiety than she ever had in her entire life. Padma was bouncing Preeya on her hip, and Hermione could hear Shivani screaming furiously from the living room.
"What's happened?" Padma said with a frown. "There's something wrong, isn't there?" She gazed at Hermione, ignoring her daughters for a moment.
Hermione nodded slowly. "I'll tell you all about it, but first, I imagine you could use a hand."
Padma held Preeya out to her. "Here, take your goddaughter while I sort out the screeching ball of fury in the living room."
Hermione shut the door and took the tearful baby from Padma. "What's wrong with them?" she asked, giving Preeya a kiss on the forehead.
Padma rolled her eyes. "I've magically sealed all the presses and drawers in the living room, so they're throwing a combined temper tantrum."
Hermione followed her into the front room and gasped: the room looked like a bomb site. "I take it this is what happens when they learn to crawl?"
Shivani stopped crying when they entered the room, and after a brief glance in their direction, she resumed the activity of trying to force bits of toast into Dean's DVD player.
Padma nodded and picked her up. "Toddlers and all these Muggle electrical thingies just do not go together." She sat down and started bouncing Shivani on her knee. "I've put a magical barrier around that DVD thing twice, but either it hasn't held, or they've removed it, somehow."
"Clever girls," Hermione said, grinning. "Showing magical ability already!"
"I can't understand it," Padma said with a weary sigh. "They were little angels until about two weeks ago, but as soon as this crawling thing took off, they turned into little demons. They're determined to get their own way."
"I'm sure the novelty of breaking things will wear off soon."
Padma didn't look convinced. "Come on. Let's put them in their playpen in the kitchen with their toys, and you can tell me what's going on."
As soon as the babies were settled, Padma put on the kettle and sat opposite Hermione at the kitchen table. Hermione gazed at the little girls as they played with their toys, lost in thought.
"What's happened, Hermione?" Padma asked gently.
Hermione tore her gaze from the twins, and despite the fact that she'd intended telling Padma everything that had happened since she and Severus had returned from Paris in precise chronological order, she just suddenly needed to blurt it out.
"I'm pregnant," she said, her voice tremulous.
"Oh, Hermione!" Padma said, her dark eyes wide. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"
Hermione sighed, determined not to cry again. She had done enough crying for one day. "It's a little bit of both, I suppose. I've longed for a baby for ages, but Severus has told me he doesn't want children, so that's not so good."
Padma shook her head. "What did he say when you told him?"
"I haven't told him ... yet," Hermione admitted.
"When did you find out?"
"Last night. A lot has happened this weekend."
"Did he propose in Paris? I had my suspicions when you told me he'd cancelled all your clients ..."
Hermione shook her head. "Not exactly."
She told Padma about what had happened since their return from the French capital. "And he's been acting so strangely for the past two weeks. He's been quiet, thoughtful. And when we've been alone he's been ... I don't know." She looked up, blushing. "More loving, I suppose. I got the idea into my head that he was trying to let me down gently in Paris; that he was trying to tell me he didn't want to ask Cordelia for a divorce, but I was wrong."
"Okay, let me get this straight," Padma said, sitting up and looking business-like. "He didn't ask you to marry him, but he told you he loved you?"
Hermione frowned. "Well, he didn't tell me he loved me so much as admitted he loved me when I asked him. He never actually said the words. Then he asked me if I wanted to be with him, and, of course, I said yes."
"But then that dragon bitch from hell turned up the next morning and overheard a delicate conversation?"
Hermione snorted. "Yes, she did."
Padma frowned. "What exactly did she overhear?"
Hermione rubbed her forehead. "I can't recall, exactly, but I was ... I was upset because I was sure she wouldn't let him go, and I started to cry. It's easy to see why I was feeling so emotional in hindsight, but he pulled me into the sitting room and assured me that no matter what happened, even if we had to flee the country, we would be together."
Padma gave her an encouraging smile. "That sounds good to me ... It's just a pity the bloody wife had to go and overhear it. But what's happened since then? Why haven't you told him?"
"I don't know what's happened since then. He promised me he'd send me word as soon as he could, and the entire day passed before I got so much as a note from him." She took the crumpled note from her pocket and pushed it across the table to Padma.
Padma picked up the wrinkled parchment and read it with a frown. "And this is it ... You haven't heard anything at all from either of them since then?"
Hermione shook her head. "I've no idea what's going on. The worst of it is, I sent Moe over to try to find out what was going on, but neither of them was there. And all of Severus's belongings are gone."
"What?" Padma asked, looking horrified. "All of them?"
Hermione nodded. "Everything. All the stuff from the laboratory, his books, his clothes. Everything is gone."
"Maybe she's thrown him out," Padma suggested. "Maybe she was so angry she just told him to leave."
"But why the lack of contact? Why hasn't he told me what's happening? And Moe told me Cordelia's trunk is gone, too."
Padma frowned again. "And you think that means what, exactly?"
Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "I think she's persuaded him to stay with her. She's so manipulative, Padma, you have no idea. She can be so nice; so persuasive. And she's rich and beautiful. Severus hates drama and upheaval ... I'm almost certain she's talked him into staying with her."
"But why would you think that, Hermione? If she's persuaded him to stay, why would all of his belongings be gone?"
"Because they've obviously gone somewhere else, somewhere away from me ... Cordelia has lots of properties, and she's obviously made him clear out and go somewhere else!"
"Hermione," Padma said kindly, "you've been through an awful lot in the past twenty-four hours, and I think you're just being paranoid. Granted, I don't know Severus Snape very well, but I don't think he would be talked into such a radical change of direction that easily. He doesn't make promises lightly, and if he told you that the two of you would be together, he meant it."
"But what's happened?" Hermione asked desperately. "If he really wants to be with me, why hasn't he even bothered to tell me what the hell is going on? And what if she's bewitched him, or poisoned him, or slipped him a Love Potion or something?"
Padma rolled her eyes. "Hermione, we're talking about Severus Snape: He fooled Voldemort and a whole pile of Death Eaters for years; I'm certain he's able for Cordelia Mill. You're just tired and emotional, and you're anxious and worried and thinking the worst."
Hermione put her face in her hands. "Something's going on ... I just know it."
"Look," Padma said, patting her on the hand. "Why don't you send him a note? Tell him you're worried and that you need to talk to him."
"No, I can't," Hermione insisted. "I just ... I want to get my head around the fact that we're going to have a baby before I talk to him." She put her head in her hands again. "I have no idea how he'll react. It's possible he won't want anything to do with either of us."
"Hermione, I can't believe how negative you're being. I know he hasn't actually said the words, but he's made it obvious that he loves you. Why would you think he won't want you now that you're carrying his child?"
Hermione sighed. "He had a miserable childhood, Padma. He was an only child, and he came from such a broken home that he has absolutely no idea of the happiness that a child can bring. He told me he's always been scared of turning into his parents, and that he has never, ever wanted a child." She looked at the twins, who were busily throwing every single one of their toys from the playpen. Padma was sending them all back over the sides with lazy flicks of her wand.
"What if he thinks I did this on purpose, Padma? What if he thinks I did it to force him into action?"
"Hermione, of course he won't think that. Isn't he a Legilimens? He'll know you're telling the truth. And there are lots of men who think they don't want children. You know the type: they're all awkward with other people's kids, but fantastic with their own. Parvati said that's the way Seamus was: He didn't want kids at all, but when little Aidan happened along, he was delighted."
"Severus will never be like that," Hermione insisted, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye. "He really never wanted kids, and now I don't know if he even wants me anymore."
"Aw, Hermione," Padma said, coming round the table to hug her. She pulled a chair next to Hermione's and took both her hands. "Look, you've been through an awful lot in the past two days, and you're not thinking straight. This is a good thing ... something to celebrate! You're going to have a baby!"
Hermione gave her an uncertain, watery smile. "Do you really think it's a good thing?"
"Yes, of course I do! He might be shocked at first, but Severus will come round. And as for what's going on between him and Cordelia, maybe she's agreed to a divorce, and they just have an awful lot to sort out with solicitors and accountants and stuff. Let's look on the bright side until we hear otherwise."
"I'll try," Hermione agreed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
"You never know ... Maybe Cordelia agreed to a divorce straight away, and they've spent the day at the Ministry of Magic sorting it all out!"
Hermione grunted. "That's not likely."
Padma smiled. "Maybe not, and I think you're right to want a bit of space to get your head sorted before you speak to him. Why don't you sleep here tonight?"
"You're such a good friend, Padma. Would you mind? I don't want to be a pain in the neck just before Christmas, but I'd really love to sleep on this before I tell Severus or my parents or anything. I promised Mum and Dad I'd go home on Christmas Eve, but I'm sure they'll be glad to see me a day early. I could stay the night here, think about what's best to do, and then go to their house tomorrow night. Are you sure Dean won't mind?"
Padma shook her head. "His department are really busy, so I'm not expecting him back until the small hours. I could use the company, to be honest, not to mention the extra pair of hands."
Hermione smiled in gratitude, glad she wouldn't have to spend hours alone, waiting to hear from Severus.
***
Severus stood in the hallway of Lance and Hermione's house, a frown creasing his brow. He'd called Hermione's name three times, but there had been no answer. Lance had not responded either. The house was cloaked in darkness, and nothing stirred from any of the rooms above or below.
"Moe?" he called, but the little elf failed to appear.
Perhaps Hermione was annoyed with him for failing to contact her sooner. Perhaps she was here, but she was determined to ignore him. He took his wand from beneath his robes and cast a spell to determine whether or not anyone was at home, but the house appeared to be empty. He looked around, wondering where she could have gone. Maybe she had decided to go shopping; maybe she had gone to visit one of her friends.
He descended to the basement, intending to wait in the kitchen. It was past dinnertime, so surely she would return home soon? At the very least, Lance might come back and know where she had gone. It was cold in the kitchen, so he lit a fire in the grate. He considered preparing a meal for her return, but then decided he would take her out to dinner instead, in order to celebrate their unexpected good luck.
An hour passed while he sat at the kitchen table, and the deserted house began to feel oppressive. A glance at the clock above the stove told him that it was after eight, and for the first time since he'd left Diagon Alley, he began to worry. Where was she?
He left the kitchen, heading in the direction of her bedroom. Pushing open the door, his stomach gave an unpleasant lurch: The wardrobes were lying open, and although some of her clothes still remained on their hangers, many were missing, and her trunk had disappeared from the foot of her bed. Feeling like a sleepwalker, he crept forward and looked at the empty spaces in her wardrobe. With another sickening lurch, he recognised the black dress she had worn to Cordelia's ball: the altered wedding gown. He slowly reached out and touched the material, and, as if it had somehow goaded him into action, he turned on his heel and marched from the room.
Taking a fistful of Floo powder from a little clay pot on the mantelpiece in the kitchen, he stepped into the flames and returned to Diagon Alley. Without bothering to dust the powder and ashes from his robes, he strode into the hallway, where he took parchment and a quill from one of the boxes lying on the floor. After scribbling a brief note, he took his owl from its cage and attached the message to its leg. Carrying the bird to the little window in the kitchen, he whispered, "Find Hermione Granger. I have no address to give you, as I don't know where she is. Wait for a reply, and if there is none forthcoming, return to me here."
The owl gave a hoot and flew into the cold night air. Severus sat in his new living room and took the velveteen box from within the folds of his winter cloak. He opened the little box and gazed at the diamond and ruby ring within. The elation and hope he had felt only hours ago was gone, replaced instead by a growing sense of panic.
***
Hermione had just finished singing the twins to sleep when Padma crept through the door of the little pink bedroom.
"I can't believe you got them off to sleep so quickly," she whispered.
Hermione gave a quiet laugh. "Maybe the maternal hormones have kicked in already."
Padma smiled and took a slip of parchment from her pocket. "A little owl just delivered this note for you."
Hermione frowned and accepted the letter. "Tawny owl?"
Padma nodded.
"Severus," Hermione whispered, unfolding the note. She grunted. "It just says: 'Where are you?'"
"The owl is still at the kitchen window. Do you want to reply?"
Hermione shook her head. "No. I'll contact him tomorrow. It's after nine o'clock, and I really don't want to go into the whole thing tonight. I'm too tired. I'll get some sleep, and tomorrow I'll face the music."
Padma nodded again. "Okay. I think you need to rest; you're very pale," she said, concerned. "I've made up the bed for you in the guestroom, and I've put your trunk at the end of the bed. Would you like me to bring you up a cup of tea?"
"No thanks," Hermione said, stifling a yawn. "I think I'll just try to get straight off to sleep." She stood up and drew her friend into a hug. "Thanks for everything, Padma. I don't know what I'd do without you."
They said goodnight, and as soon as she'd changed into her pyjamas, Hermione crept, exhausted, beneath the duvet. She wondered what Severus had to say to her, and whether the news would be good or bad. But her thoughts soon turned to the discovery she'd made the night before, and instead of worrying about what his reaction might be, she fell asleep with a small smile on her face, the image of a pale, black-eyed baby in her mind.
***
Severus jumped when the loud tapping on the kitchen window heralded the return of his owl. But his heart sank when he opened the window to find that the owl had returned without a note. Setting the bird on its perch in the living room, he decided there would be little chance of sleep that night unless he made an effort to find Hermione.
But where could she be? She could have gone to her parents' house; Potter was another possibility; or maybe she'd even decided to visit Draco and Susan. But he thought it probable that she'd sought refuge with Padma. To the best of his knowledge, Padma was the only one Hermione had confided in about their relationship, so it was most likely she had gone there.
Where did Padma live? He racked his brains, trying to recall if Hermione had ever mentioned their address, but he could not even remember her mentioning what part of Britain Padma and Dean lived in, never mind their exact whereabouts.
Tomorrow would be the twenty-third of December, and he suddenly remembered Hermione mentioning something about going to her parents' house for Christmas. Maybe she'd gone home early. That would have explained the missing clothes and trunk.
He was suddenly hopeful: He had travelled to the Grangers' house on the day of Hermione and Theo's wedding, and he could remember exactly where it was. Rushing to the door, he threw open the bolt and hurried into the little cobbled back yard, slamming the door behind him. Turning on the spot, he Disapparated and reappeared in the same affluent suburb he remembered so well. Feeling nervous, he made his way up the Grangers' driveway, wondering how she would react if she was there.
He reached out and pressed a finger to the doorbell. There came the murmur of voices from within before he saw the outline of a female silhouette through the bevelled glass. Jane Granger opened the door with a curious frown, and he was struck by the fact that Hermione had inherited her mother's warm brown eyes. She looked startled, but after a second she flashed him a smile of recognition.
"You're Severus Snape!" she said, proffering her hand. "We met at Hermione's wedding."
He shook her hand, feeling awkward. "Forgive me for intruding at such a late hour, Mrs Granger, but I was wondering if Hermione was here?"
Before Jane Granger could respond, Hermione's father emerged from the sitting room. "Hello," he said in greeting, shaking Severus by the hand. "It's nice to see you again. Hermione has talked about you non-stop ever since the day she started working for you."
"I ... I see," Severus muttered. "I don't suppose she's here, by any chance?"
"I'm afraid not," Jane said. "Isn't she at home?"
"Would you care to come in?" Hermione's father asked.
Severus shook his head. "Thank you, but no. I'm afraid it's imperative that I speak to Hermione."
"Nothing's wrong, I hope?"
Severus shook his head and lied. "Just an important potion we've been working on. Forgive me; I did not mean to alarm you. Have you any idea where she might be?"
The Grangers shook their heads. "You might try her friend, Padma," Jane suggested. "Or maybe Harry and Ginny Potter."
"I suspect she may be with Padma," Severus agreed. "Might I ask if you have her address?"
"I'm afraid we don't. I know they live somewhere not too far from here, but that's it, I'm sorry to say."
Severus took a step back and inclined his head. "Again, forgive me for disturbing you at such a late hour. I'm sure she's just gone to visit Padma."
He walked down their driveway, aware he had given them cause for concern. He wondered what their reaction would be when they learned of their daughter's relationship with her former professor. The thought might have worried him more if his alarm at Hermione's disappearance hadn't been growing by the minute. Without looking back at the Grangers, he turned and Apparated to Kensington Square. He pressed his wand to the lock of Hermione and Lance's house and let himself in.
The house was still dark, and little had changed since his first visit some three hours earlier. Severus quickly climbed to the first floor and knocked insistently at Lance's study. "Lance?" he called, opening the door. The room was empty. He turned and descended the stairs, calling for Moe as he went, but the elf failed to respond.
When he reached the basement, he glanced through the open door of Hermione's bedroom, but everything was exactly as he had left it: the doors of the wardrobes still lay open, and nothing had been disturbed. Hanging his head in defeat, he returned to the kitchen and crossed to the fireplace. He would return to his newly rented lodgings and send her another letter. It was after ten o'clock, much too late to call on the Potters and the Malfoys, both of whom had young children.
He stepped into the fireplace with a deep sigh.
Tomorrow, he would find her.
***
Severus knew a brief moment of satisfaction at the expression of shock on Harry Potter's face when he opened the door of his Godric's Hollow cottage the following morning. The younger man was still in a pair of striped pyjamas, and a small red-haired boy was clinging to his leg.
"Good morning, Mr Potter. I can see my appearance has come as something of a surprise," Severus said.
"Yes ... I ... Good morning," Harry managed, his green eyes wide behind his glasses.
"You were expecting St. Nicholas, perhaps?" Severus asked with a smirk.
Harry grinned. "It would have been less of a shock than finding Severus Snape on my doorstep. Won't you come in?"
Severus shook his head. "I apologise for disturbing you, and I won't detain you long. I can see you are ... busy," he said, looking at James Potter with distaste.
Harry chuckled. "That's the understatement of the year. What can I do for you?"
"Is Hermione here, by any chance?"
Harry frowned. "No, I haven't heard from her since last week. Is something the matter?"
Before Severus could answer, Ginny appeared at her husband's side. "Professor Snape!" she said with a bewildered smile.
"Have you heard from Hermione?" Harry asked her.
Ginny frowned. "I met her in the Leaky Cauldron on Sunday, but I haven't been in contact since then. What's happened?"
"Nothing has happened," Severus said. "I just need to contact her with regard to a small business matter, and she was not at home yesterday. Have you any idea where she might be?"
"Have you tried her parents' house?" Ginny asked.
Severus nodded. "Yes, I called on them last night. Might she be with your brother and his wife?"
Ginny shrugged. "It's unlikely. I know they're on speaking terms again, but I don't think she's ever visited them. I'll Floo them to check." She turned and headed for the sitting room, where Severus could see her take a pot of Floo powder from a bookshelf next to the fireplace.
Harry was watching him, an expression of curiosity on his face. "Has something happened?" he whispered.
Severus met his gaze. "I am unsure; I need to find her."
"Just to discuss a business matter?"
Severus was spared the necessity of answering by the reappearance of Ginny. "No, she's not there. I checked with Draco and Susan, too, but they haven't seen her. Have you tried Padma's house?"
"I'm almost positive she is with Padma, but I've no idea where they live," Severus replied.
Harry and Ginny exchanged a look. "We don't know where they live, either," Ginny muttered. "I know it's near Oxford, somewhere, but I don't have the address."
Severus uttered a sigh. "Thank you, both of you. I appreciate your help." He gave them a nod, ignoring the knowing glance that passed between them. Stepping away from the house, he Apparated back to Diagon Alley. It seemed another note was in order. He felt lost, powerless without her.
***
Hermione returned Dean's embrace.
"Padma told me your news," he said, grinning. "Congratulations, Hermione. I know the circumstances mightn't be ideal, but it'll all be fine. Babies are fun!" he added, picking up both of his daughters and carrying them from the kitchen.
Hermione returned his smile as she watched him go. "Thanks, Dean."
"Have a seat," Padma said, setting a pot of tea on the table. "How are feeling? You look a bit peaky."
"Just tired, really. I haven't gotten sick, or anything. Not yet."
"Maybe you won't at all," Padma said, placing two envelopes before her on the table. "The first letter arrived for you late last night, and the second arrived first thing this morning."
Hermione looked at the them with a frown. "I'm almost afraid to read them."
"Don't be. I think he's frantic to find you, Hermione. A letter arrived, addressed to me, half an hour ago." She passed a sheet of parchment across the table.
Hermione picked up the letter, her hands trembling.
Dear Mrs Thomas,
I hope this letter finds you, as I've no idea where you live. I am desperately seeking Hermione's whereabouts. It's imperative that I speak to her as soon as possible. She has not been at home since last night, and I have sought her at her parents' residence and at a number of her friends' houses.
If you have seen her, or if you know where she might be, I urge you to contact me as soon as you possibly can at the above address.
Sincerely yours,
Severus Snape.
Hermione glanced at the top of the sheet of parchment: the address was for a house in Diagon Alley.
"Diagon Alley?" she said, raising her gaze to Padma's. "What's going on?"
Padma shrugged. "Don't ask me. Are you going to read your letters?"
Hermione nodded. "I'll try to eat, first."
Padma frowned. "Did you sleep? You're very pale."
Hermione sipped at a mug of tea. "I slept until about four, but I kept waking up with cramps. I presume it's my uterus stretching or something. Did you get that when you were pregnant?"
Padma's frown deepened. "No, not until the last two weeks. Maybe you should take a trip to see a mid-witch, just to make sure everything's okay?"
Hermione sighed. "I think I should probably face Severus before I do anything else, before I lose my nerve."
Padma smiled. "It might all go better than you think; he certainly seems eager to find you. Why don't you take your toast upstairs and read your letters in the privacy of your room? Then you can come back down and tell me what he's said."
Hermione nodded, pressing a hand to her churning stomach. "Okay," she said. She rose from the table and picked up her mug of tea with one hand and the letters with the other. But she'd barely stepped away from her chair before she was gripped by a wave of pain so intense that she cried out. The mug of tea fell to the floor with a crash, and she sank to her knees.
"Hermione!" Padma screeched, jumping from her seat. "What's wrong?"
"Pain," Hermione muttered through gritted teeth, her eyes closed and her hand pressed to her abdomen. The letters fluttered, forgotten, to the floor. She doubled over, her head almost touching the tiles.
"Dean!" Padma screamed, and seconds later Dean came crashing into the kitchen.
"What's going on?" he said, alarmed.
"Get me some Floo powder and help me get her to the fireplace," Padma hissed.
Hermione could barely hear them anymore above the ringing of her own heartbeat in her ears.
"She needs a Healer," Padma said desperately. "Now!"
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Latest 25 Reviews for Denial
639 Reviews | 7.4/10 Average
I have read this for zillenth time still love it as much as i did the first time
I read and loved this story the first time around... mourned its disappearance, and just TODAY discovered it is back in its new form! I'm devouring it and so very very happy. THANK YOU!!!
Ohhhhh..... So good again. I'm so sad it's over!! Back when the first version was up, I wrote a few notes about how much I loved your original characters. They have SO much life. Lance and Moe are amazing; bitchy Cordelia is amazing! You are so gifted. My heart is full of this story.
I just finished reading Denial. I'll admit, I did not read it the first time it was up, so I can't compare, but I just wanted you to know it was one of the best I've read in a while. I don't normally comment on stories, and I'm trying to get better about it. It made me sad when yousaid how it caused you such sadness to lose all your thousands of reviews from the first version. And I hoped that this would help make up for it a little, and I wanted you to know that I appreciate your sacrifice to bring us a better written story. :)
Sincerely,Shay
I must say that for being revised and edited I'm finding a lot of grammatical errors and/or typos in each chapter.
Beautifully written chapter as Severus realizes what he truly feels for Hermione. Excellent writing! Thank you for this story.
Love the happy ending!!! It's perfect that Moe gets to help with the baby and check in on Lance. The future sounds promising - will we see Twice again? New work would be great, but as always my first love is for WMFL (edited or unedited), PLEASE!
Definitely my favorite fanfiction of all time.
It’s been a great pleasure to read ‚Denial‘ again – has it been really five years? It was one of my favourites when you first published this story. You’ve done a brilliant job with the rewriting - it is more stringent, not each aspect spelled out elaborately in every little detail. Though I can feel with everyone who has to cope with miscarriage, the first time around the theme dominated the last part of the story to much in my opinion. I think it’s far better as it is now, probably thanks to your experience in writing.
Anyway, thousand thanks for all your time and energy you’ve put into ‚Denial‘ – please don’t remove it again. Or at least give us a little warning well ahead when you think it would be necessary for your RL endeavours in publishing – all the best with that, btw – so we are able to secure it for another read. And it would be truly wonderful to see more SS/HG-fics from you.
Great story! Thank you for reposting. Good luck with your writing career.
This has been a delightful reread of your story! Thank you for reposting it! I believe I enjoyed it even more this time around.
That was a lovely proposal scene. *sighs happily*
LB ... it has taken me so long to review this final (sniffle) installment, because I have been so pressed for time, and it would be unfair to give a drive-by review for a story that is so dear to my heart.
You've done an amazing job with this epilogue. Often times they are surplus to requirement, but this was so very necessary. At the end of the previous chapter, you feel hopeful for Severus and Hermione, and it could have ended there with us knowing they would likely be okay. But, there were far too many loose ends that would have been tragic to leave hanging.
I love that you don't shove any details down our throats, but instead, you show us a day in the life and slip in little comments here and there that let us know what has been going on, and the state of emotional affairs. Severus is being such a loving husband, exactly what Hermione needed after such a loss. They are so good together, and I suspect that will only grow year after year.
Lance and Moe ... after reading this story, they feel like family to me. They certainly are to Severus and Hermione. And true to form, Lance comes through for them with his gift of Moe. Nothing would have made the house-elf happier than to be around babies. And she is not going to leave Lance hanging by any means. It just isn't in her nature.
Hermione's parents learned of Severus and didn't react too badly. And Hermione finally had someone to share in her grief who knew exactly how she felt. I'm sure Padma and possibly others had plenty of love and sympathy for Hermione, but without having gone though a miscarriage, they can't exactly understand what she is going through.
Harry and Severus made nice. Not that they were at terrible odds or anything, but there was sort of a "Hermione is important to both of us, so we get along or else."
Theo came to the wedding, and I, too was touched by that. I don't know why it seemed so important to me, but somehow I suppose it was an official closure to the past, and even though they didn't need his approval, perhaps it was his way of atoning for leaving her in the first place. Regardless, it seemed important to me.
And sweet, sweet Neville and his lovely bride. I couldn't be happier for them.
I should stop rambling, but I can't imagine a better ending to what has been one of the most fulfilling rides in all of fanfic. I do hope that this is not the last we see of you in the fanfic and ofic world. Best of luck to you in both!
Fantastic. I may just re-read AGAIN!
Thank you for re-posting this it has yet again been a pleasure.
even better this time around.
I suck at comments/reviews, but I felt I had to leave one here. You are an amazing writer, and you've written an amazing story. I read the original years ago, and I thought it was great then. This version is even better. I'm so glad that you've decided to re-post it. I hope you never stop writing--whether it's fanfiction or your very own stories. I look forward to your future works!!!
Thank you for adding this epilogue -- it was a wonderful way to tie up the story! :)
I've just read this wonderful story through to the epilogue and you've brought me joy, tears and laughter tonight--thank you for sharing your story and talent with us!
Ohhhh..... Thank you little beloved for sharing all of this with us again. Thank you for sharing the story of why you hid it for a while. And thank you, thank you, thank you for the promise of future writing. You have really made my weekend. I wish you the very best with your original fiction... I hope we hear from you soon! --Ruth
What a touching insight into their pain and loss -- and hoe for the future. Thank you for such a lovely story.
thank you for a wonderful story
This was one of my very favorite stories the first time around, and nothng has changed. It's simply wonderful. Best wishes as you try to become a published author, but meantime, follow that SS/HG plot bunny!
As this story comes to an end, I am forced to think about the real world again and reflect on how very very fortunate Hermione Granger Snape is to have so many people who love her so much. I am very happy that Severus has found someone who loves him and is getting to have a real family. I thought of Hermione's trials and tribulations and was reminded that there are many people living in this world who are like Severus Snape than we would like to think about; people facing life alone, enduring awful problems with their health, with money and in sadness, without family or dear friends to comfort or advise them. Thank you for providing solace with your stories.
So much unnecessary emotional pain in just 48 little hours. Hermione can't go through life wigging out every time she hits a hard place. It does affect others when she does this. I do hope that she develops some common sense and emotional self control as she matures. Severus has. He didn't rush into worse case scenarios when she disappeared. The old Severus would have realized he waited too long to let her know what happened, imagined she had washed her hands of him and would have retreated to his lair to lick his wounds with a bottle of fire whiskey. If Hermione had not rushed into imagining the absolute worst, without substantial proof, she would not have had to endure this alone.
Severus had promised her they would be together no matter what. She could have grasped onto that and held onto it. She didn't trust him. Yes, finding his things gone would have been quite alarming. But she knew he was asking for a divorce so that they could be together. Would it be out of the realm of possibility that Cordelia Mill would proverbially "throw all his stuff out on the lawn" over it?
Sure, she could be angry and hurt over him leaving her so long without a word, but she could have done something to distract herself while she waited to give him a piece of her mind and demanded an explanation. Yes, he said he didn't want children. I understand, she would be worried about telling him she was pregnant, but he has clearly demonstrated that he is not the old Professor Snape. He has shown himself capable of change. Unfortunately, he still hasn't done enough to earn Hermione's trust.
It would be tempting to want to hide and not face him with this new emotionally charged problem, but after all he has done for her in the last year, he deserved better.
Hermione still has some growing up to do. She hasn't actually been concerned about Severus' feelings. Hermione has only been able to be worried about her own feelings and her feelings about Severus' feelings as she imagines them to be, and how those feelings might affect her. He may have done a dumb "guy thing", but Severus' has mainly been worried about Hermione's well being and her feelings from the very beginning of the story.
*Sigh* It has been such a wonderful experience to be able to enjoy your story again. It has been our great fortune that you've come home and shared your talents with us once again.After reading the epilogue I recalled that the first time I'd read it, I left you a review about how I could see the happy future that lay ahead of Hermione and Severus--the beautiful family they would have and even their grandchildren. Your writing is so vivid and compelling that my imagination just runs away with me.I've been overcome with a fit of smiling ever since I read your comment about having "been bitten by a rather insistent plot bunny with an idea for a longer, chaptered SS/HG tale." Woo Hoo!!!May you enjoy every success in your ofic and your fanfic. I will be watching this space for the next one of your stories you post here.I remain your devoted reader,Beth
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
My dearest, dearest Beth. Your reviews are so much more than a joy. I remember that review very, very well! We decided that their daughter was named Cara (friend) and that they went on to have a son, and then another daughter. Thank you so very much for your readership and kind reviews this second time around. I promised you an e-mail with attachment - I hope you don't mind that I waited until i had finished editing. I will have it to you very soon. Thank you so much for every kind word. Much love, LB x
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Good gracious, woman! You've brought me to tears. Thank you for reminding me about the name, Cara, we chose for their daughter! I filled every review with, I hope, just as much love as you put in the story itself. Two daughters and a son then. They have such a lovely family! *I promised you an e-mail with attachment - I hope you don't mind that I waited until i had finished editing.* I don't mind one whit. I'll keep my eye out for it. (I have this ridiculous mental picture of myself taking out an eye and setting in front of my monitor when I go to bed at night to watch for the email.)Be well and happy writing! Beth
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
My dearest, dearest Beth. Your reviews are so much more than a joy. I remember that review very, very well! We decided that their daughter was named Cara (friend) and that they went on to have a son, and then another daughter. Thank you so very much for your readership and kind reviews this second time around. I promised you an e-mail with attachment - I hope you don't mind that I waited until i had finished editing. I will have it to you very soon. Thank you so much for every kind word. Much love, LB x
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
Good gracious, woman! You've brought me to tears. Thank you for reminding me about the name, Cara, we chose for their daughter! I filled every review with, I hope, just as much love as you put in the story itself. Two daughters and a son then. They have such a lovely family! *I promised you an e-mail with attachment - I hope you don't mind that I waited until i had finished editing.* I don't mind one whit. I'll keep my eye out for it. (I have this ridiculous mental picture of myself taking out an eye and setting in front of my monitor when I go to bed at night to watch for the email.)Be well and happy writing! Beth
Rather enjoyed them getting adopted by a cat as the same thing happened to us (and she's still around 20 years later).Your story was a joy to read and though I am sad to see it end I have hope for more thanks to your insistent plot bunny. I must admit to feeling selfish and hope to see more from you soon. But I also wish you the best of luck with your original pieces. You are a fine writer and seem well-deserving of getting published. Keep at it--be persistent like old Voldy trying to kill off Harry!
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
Dear
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
, thank you so much for every one of your lovely reviews. And wow - twenty years! MIAOW! I'm so delighted you enjoyed Denial, and I do hope I will have a new story for you soon. Many, many thanks and hugs, LB x
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
Dear
Response from little beloved (Author of Denial)
, thank you so much for every one of your lovely reviews. And wow - twenty years! MIAOW! I'm so delighted you enjoyed Denial, and I do hope I will have a new story for you soon. Many, many thanks and hugs, LB x