Seasons of Love

CHAPTER 12: Seasons of Love

The early morning sun trickled through the curtains of the enchanted window in Hermione's bedroom. The light cast a golden glow over the lovers curled together in the bed beneath the warm blankets. They lay facing each other in the growing light. Hermione's tangled curls were tucked beneath her cheek and splaying over the buttercup pillows behind her. Her lips were slightly parted, her warm breath washing over the relaxed fist that rested on the mattress in front of her. A slight tinge of pink graced her cheeks as she snuggled further into the warmth of the blankets and the body next to her.

Severus had been awake for some time before the morning sunlight began peeking through the curtains. He was disoriented for a moment before he remembered where he was and who was in the bed with him. When he realized that it was Hermione whose hair was tickling his nose and whose knee was slipped between his thighs, he sighed with contentment at the memories of the night before. He could smell the scent of lavender from her hair and the faint traces of sex. His lips curved into a satisfied smile and his eyes drifted closed as Hermione shifted closer and rested her arm across his ribs. Her warm breath bathed his chest in small puffs and tickled through the sparse black hairs there.

I don't deserve this, he thought as he brushed a few curls away from her face gently. She looked so peaceful and happy as she slept with the golden light of a Scottish morning reflecting off her skin. Maybe there is some justice in this world. After all the hell I've been through, she is the light of hope and contentment that has always eluded me. If there's any redemption for me, it's here, in her arms, with her at my side.

It was then, as he let his thoughts wander over the warmth of her next to him, that he realized his pesky little bitch of a conscience had neglected to plague him these last months. Not since early January. Four months of peace and contentment without that voice of distain and depression nagging at him. Perhaps it was because his insecurities about Hermione had lessened as they spent more time together. Perhaps it was that he was beginning to live for himself for the first time in his life. He didn't know why, just that he relished in the peace he had in his grasp and longed for more.

Hermione stirred and rolled onto her back, dragging him back to the present. The buttercup sheets clung to her form, accentuating the curve of her breasts and the feminine swell of her belly as the blankets fell away. Severus traced the curve of her stomach lightly and felt his chest tighten with the longing to see her swollen and round with their child. He knew instinctively that she would be a good mother. If she can get past being so distracted when I'm around, he mused with a grin. He let his mind drift over thoughts of their child as he rubbed soothing circles over her abdomen with his thumb. He closed his eyes and thought of her.

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Hermione sat cross-legged on the rug in front of the fire, her swollen stomach resting on her folded legs as she wrapped Christmas presents. Her curls were twisted in a braid over her shoulder and tied with a green ribbon at the bottom. Her face was awash with a beautiful glow as she wrote Professor McGonagall's name on the tag. The twinkling fairy lights on the Christmas tree in the corner flickered in the honey pools of her eyes.

"Why do you insist on doing that the Muggle way?" Fantasy Severus asked teasingly from the sofa where he was reading a book. Of course, Real Severus thought, I'll forever be snarky. She seems to have gotten used to it. She always was the only one with enough wit to understand what I said.

She turned her face toward him and smiled happily. "For the same reason you insist on being so stubborn. This was always my favorite part of Christmas when I was a little girl. My mum and I used to... Oh!" Fantasy Hermione's eyes went wide as one hand massaged her stomach. "He's lively this evening. Come here, Severus."

Fantasy Severus discarded his book on the sofa and joined her on the rug. He sat behind her, his back against the sofa as he eased her against him. She pulled his arms around her and rested his palms on her belly. He could feel the tiny bumps and thumps as the child growing in her stretched and pushed. Real Severus felt his throat tighten at the thought and flexed his fingers lightly over her flesh as if he could feel the child moving beneath his palm. A son. Severus had always wanted a son, even when he railed that he despised children of all shapes and forms.

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"Gerard Snape, what have I told you about playing with Daddy's marking quill?" Fantasy Hermione admonished as she stared at the four-year-old boy with soft raven hair and shining chocolate eyes who was currently covered in red ink. Her hands were on her hips, but it seemed she was fighting a smile. Their son looked up at her through long lashes and grinned.

"I'm sowwey, Mummy," the little boy mumbled sweetly, setting his father's quill and ink back on the desk.

Real Severus felt his heart melt at the image of Hermione kneeling in front of the little boy and kissing him on the tip of his red-streaked nose. She conjured a washcloth and began scrubbing the evidence of the ink from her son's figure.

"You have to leave daddy's desk alone, okay, Gerard? But, we won't tell Daddy about this time, huh." They giggled as the washcloth vanished, and the little boy embraced his mother, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

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"What book do you want tonight?" Fantasy Severus called through the door that separated the library from the bedroom he shared with Hermione.

There was mumbling and giggling from the bedroom before an answer came. "They want Alice in Wonderland," Fantasy Hermione's voice called. Fantasy Severus collected the book and made his way into the bedroom.

Real Severus stopped and leaned against the doorframe, watching Hermione as she arranged two children in the four-poster with her. The little boy he'd imagined earlier looked around six years old now as he curled up against his father's side as Fantasy Severus climbed onto the bed with them. A little girl snuggled to Hermione's other side, her black curls held back by a red ribbon. She looked to be two or three. The little girl rubbed her tiny hand over her mother's swelling stomach and smiled.

"Bwandon," she whispered as she planted a kiss on Hermione's belly. "I wuv you, bwuther."

Dear Lord, Real Snape thought as he watched the scene. Three! Hmm, been busy, haven't we? Gods, she looks beautiful with the children with her and her stomach swollen like that. I'd give anything to have this with my Hermione, to curl up at night with her swollen belly between us, to hold a child in my lap and read to them, to watch her as she nursed. I'd give anything...

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Real Hermione stretched languidly as she emerged from that hazy limbo between dreams and consciousness. She could feel the warm sunlight shining through the enchanted window and smiled. Hermione straightened her legs and felt a twinge of soreness. Her eyes fluttered for a few seconds before she was fully awake. It was then that she became aware of the warm, soothing weight of Snape's palm on her stomach.

Hermione was about to speak when Severus dipped his head and pressed soft kisses to the buttercup sheet covering her stomach. He had such a wistful look on his face, such a longing in those ebony eyes that she felt as if she could cry for him. She rested her palm on the back of his head and stroked his unruly tangle of raven hair.

"Is everything okay?" she asked quietly as he continued to caress her abdomen. "Severus, what's the matter?"

Severus turned his head toward her, resting his cheek against her belly, and stared up into her concerned honey eyes. He drew in a lungful of her sweet lavender scent and closed his eyes at the peace it brought him. "We didn't use a contraceptive charm or a potion, Hermione. I don't know if one would work if we used it now."

Hermione smiled at him and released a breath she hadn't known she was holding. "It's okay, Severus. There's very little chance of my conceiving right now, anyway. It's just after... well, that time." She blushed a bit, not quite ready to come out and say it in front of him yet. She was puzzled for a moment when she caught sight of the disappointed look in his eyes. "I want to be a mother someday, Severus. The mother of your children."

"Do you mean it, Hermione?" he asked, righting himself in relation to her. He brushed a curl from over her eyes and stared into her eyes, looking for the answer to the myriad of questions buzzing through his mind. "You would want a family with me?"

She nodded and kissed the tip of his nose before wrapping her arms around him. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Severus. I want anything and everything that we could have together. I want to make you happy, she thought.

Severus rolled onto his back, pulling Hermione with him. She tucked her head beneath his chin and entwined the fingers of her left hand with those of his right. "How many children would you want, little one?" he asked.

Hermione was silent for a moment as she pondered the question. "I suppose I'd like at least two. I was an only child growing up. I think I missed a lot of things without siblings. I think that's why I always enjoyed staying at the Burrow. There were so many people in the house, so much love inside those walls. I want to have that." She was careful not to mention Ron. She didn't want him; she just wanted her children to have the closeness the Weasley children had. She wanted to have with Severus what Molly had with Arthur. "How many children do you want, Severus?"

"As many as we happen to have," he answered, stroking her hair. His stomach rumbled and Hermione giggled. "There went the moment," he grumbled. "Come on, let's get your study set right and clean ourselves up before breakfast."

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"Albus," Severus murmured later that morning at the High Table. He tried to keep his voice low so that none except he and the headmaster could hear their conversation. "I wonder if you know the name of a good jeweler?"

A/N: I know this chapter is short but I've completely diverged from my original outline. I think things are going pretty well, don't you? Oh, hell, I've got to go back to the market. I need more lemons. *snicker* By the way, this chapter came from the opening title of RENT, whose lyrics you can find here: http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/20416/RENT/Seasons_Of_Love