Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter 38 of 48
SquibstressBefore she was Professor McGonagall, she was Minerva Macnair. After an arranged marriage forces her into an impossible situation, Minerva does what she must to survive. When she makes a new life for herself, her secrets follow and threaten everything, including the only love she has ever found. The tale of a woman, her secrets, and how she keeps them.
Winner - 3rd Place, Best Drama-Angst WIP - Fall/Winter 2012 HP Fanfic Fanpoll Awards
Author's Note: Several lines in this chapter are taken verbatim from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
2 September 1994
Bloody leg.
Barty had known getting around with it would be difficult, but he hadn't realised how painful it would be until he tried walking the quarter mile from the
front gates to the main entrance of Hogwarts. He was glad now that he'd grabbed the walking stick on his way out of Moody's flat. He'd observed Moody
covertly for a week, and he'd only seen the old man use it once, when he went out for what had turned out to an extended round of shopping in Diagon Alley.
Barty hoped no one would notice how much he leant on it.
The stairs at Hogwarts would be a problem. Barty hadn't thought about how many times a teacher had to climb them every day. The Floo took him from his
quarters to his office and back, but there were chaperone duties on the grounds, security rounds at night, and meals in the Great Hall three times a day.
By the time dinner of his second day came around, he could barely walk, and he was ready to Cruciate anyone who looked at him wrong.
As he made his painful way down the last flight of the main staircase, he spied Potter near the end of the queue to get into the Great Hall. He appeared to
be arguing with someone. Barty had to suppress a grin as Potter turned and the little Malfoy poof fired a hex at his back. Finally, an excuse to dole out a
little punishment! A shame he couldn't use the Cruciatus, but he had another spell ready. He was very good at Transfiguring people into small animals; it
was his speciality and had often amused his fellow Death Eaters. Including Lucius Malfoy, who hadn't spent so much as one hour in Azkaban, but went on with
his happy little life as if his Master had never existed.
Barty cast at Malfoy, adding a garbled "laddie" to the end of his shout to cover the fact that he'd forgotten to renew the charm on his voice before coming
out of his quarters. He did it quickly and silently as he limped down the steps.
The room had gone quiet, people at the front of the queue standing on tiptoe to see what was going on. Barty's heart thumped with anticipation, as it
always did when he had a victim in his sights, but he reminded himself that he was there to take Potter...alive...for his Master, so he went first to the boy
to make sure he wasn't injured by Malfoy's hex.
Malfoy, now a greasy white ferret, tried to scuttle away, his escape hampered by the potentially lethal feet of the crowd.
Running away just like his bastard father.
Scum.
Barty turned and pointed his wand at the ferret. It took all his willpower not to blast him into oblivion. He settled for bouncing him up and down, just
hard enough to hurt without killing him.
"Professor Moody!"
The magical eye spun around in Barty's head to see Minerva McGonagall standing at the first landing, a stack of books in her arms.
For a fleeting moment he was again the lonely, mousey eleven-year-old he'd been, caught in some childish transgression by the terrifying Head of
Gryffindor, but he laughed it off. What was she going to do about it, write to his father?
"Hello, Professor McGonagall."
"What... what are you doing?"
"Teaching."
"Teach... Moody, is that a student?"
Her voice was high and shrill, but Barty didn't turn around.
"Yep."
"No!"
He heard a clatter and felt the whoosh of a spell from behind him, and the ferret changed back into a blonde boy cowering on the floor.
McGonagall flew down the staircase, wand drawn. The crowd parted for her, and she stopped a few paces away from Barty, staring at him. Her face was ashen.
"Moody, we never use Transfiguration as a punishment. Surely Dumbledore told you that."
Her voice had dropped at least an octave, and her wand was still clutched tightly in her hand. A frisson of fear passed through Barty. Minerva McGonagall
was a formidable magical practitioner, as some of his colleagues had discovered to their dismay during the last war, and the way her eyes were fixed on him
made him think of Jimmy Wilkes, and how his had widened in surprise when he'd taken her curse. She hadn't intended to kill him, probably, but the force of
her spell, meant for the Dark Lord but intercepted by Jimmy, had opened his chest wide enough so that Barty could watch his heart beat its last.
He forced himself to keep a casual tone.
"He might have mentioned it, yeah, but I thought a good sharp shock..."
"We give detentions, Moody. Or speak to the offender's Head of House."
Barty relaxed a little when she put her wand away. He saw that she was shaking.
She was afraid as well as angry. Interesting.
"I'll do that, then," he said.
After he'd dragged Malfoy away and dumped him on Snape...another one Barty would like to get alone at the end of his wand...he watched McGonagall at dinner.
She said little and ate even less. Barty had managed to put her off-kilter already. Good.
/***/
Minerva brought a forkful of roast chicken to her mouth and chewed mechanically without tasting it. She only managed to swallow a few bites before giving
up in favour of pushing the food around her plate. She barely heard any of the debate Albus was having with Filius, and gave only perfunctory answers when
they attempted to engage her. Thankfully, Severus sat between Alastor and Minerva. He wasn't one for dinner-table chat, so there was no danger he'd
entangle her in a conversation about what had transpired earlier.
Midway through dinner, Albus leant down and whispered, "Is everything all right?"
"Of course."
"You're very quiet, and you've barely touched your food. I was afraid you might be unwell."
"I'm quite well, thank you. It's just that I'm afraid I've made an error in the funding request for the extra provisions for our visitors."
"No matter, my dear. We have two more months before they arrive, so you can simply resubmit it," he said. "Are you certain that's all that's bothering
you?"
"Yes."
She rose before the pudding was served, and felt Albus's eyes on her as she left the Great Hall.
A dram of Cardhu failed to quieten her nerves, so she poured herself another with hands that were still less than steady.
The idea that Alastor would use Transfiguration to discipline a student was bad enough, but he'd seemed utterly unconcerned about the effect his stunt had
had on her. In fact, the tiny smile that he'd given her when he'd left with the Malfoy boy in tow had been almost cruel.
Did he really hate her so much?
She drank the remainder of the Scotch in one swallow and sat with her eyes closed for a few minutes.
As the liquor made its way into her bloodstream, her emotions settled a little, and she tried to think rationally about things.
She knew that Alastor had changed over the years, become sharper and more paranoid, prone to hallucinations, which was likely due to the insult to his
brain when he'd lost so much blood in the accident that took his leg. Malcolm had told her a bit about the changes to his personality, but he had never
prepared her for an Alastor who would want to wound her so deeply out of spite.
No. It simply wasn't possible. There had to be another explanation. Perhaps his memory was impaired? That awful Healer had raised the possibility all those
years ago. Or could he be on the drink again? Alastor's old flask had made an appearance at dinner . . .
As terrible as either thought was, each was more bearable than the idea that he had deliberately tormented her about the worst memory of her life. She
tried to push it from her mind over the ensuing days, but every time she saw Draco Malfoy's resentful face looking back at her during class, it came
flooding back, and she finally acknowledged that she'd have to confront it.
She decided to speak to Alastor in the evening, in his quarters...his turf, inasmuch as anyplace in Hogwarts might be said to be his rather than hers...in
order to put him as little on the defensive as possible. She wanted him to feel safe, to know that he could still trust her, and that even if he had done
it purposely, she would not hold it against him if he could acknowledge the deep hurt he'd caused her this evening. They could get past it.
/***/
Barty expected McGonagall to go running to Dumbledore about the ferret incident. It had been a mistake; he'd let his anger get the better of him, and if it
had compromised the mission, he'd be in terrible trouble with the Dark Lord. He knew he'd have to talk alone with Dumbledore eventually, but he'd been
hoping to postpone it until he was more comfortable in his role as Moody. But no call to the Headmaster's office to discuss the incident came.
Over the next few days, though, he got the sense that McGonagall was watching him closely, either on Dumbledore's orders or on her own initiative. He'd
have to be careful with her. Next to Dumbledore, McGonagall was the biggest threat, and she was Potter's Head of House, so she'd be watching over the boy
carefully.
Although Moody had said they didn't know one another well, he and McGonagall had been in the Order of the Phoenix together, and they'd seen one another
socially a few times. It would be wise to avoid any chance that she'd notice something amiss.
Barty did his best to keep as much distance between them as possible. He took care never to sit next to her at meals, and he never went into the staffroom.
If they were scheduled for the same patrol hours, he made sure to duck into another room if he heard the click of her heels.
So he was unpleasantly surprised when she appeared at the door to his quarters one evening after dinner.
"Hello, Alastor."
"Professor."
"May I come in?"
He almost said no but thought the better of it. It might make her wonder what he had to hide.
"It's your school," he said, leaving the door open and limping back into the sitting room.
She followed him and stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to invite her to sit, but he was silent.
"I wanted to see how you were getting on. Are you comfortable here?" she asked.
"Yep."
"Good."
The damned magical eye, which sometimes seemed to have a mind of its own, gave Barty an unwanted glance under her clothes. He'd have expected white cotton
granny knickers and a bra like a fortress, but surprisingly, it was pale blue lace.
She flushed, but soldiered on.
"I had hoped we might have a chance to talk. To catch up a bit."
Merlin's balls.
Barty searched his memory for what Moody had told him about her.
He had said they went out to dinner several times in London and that nothing particularly interesting had happened, so Barty hadn't grilled him for the
specifics, but now she wanted to waltz down memory lane for some reason. And it was time for his next dose of Polyjuice. Past it, actually.
"Catch up?" he said. "Let's see: Over the past few years, I was training Aurors, but they bounced me out about a year ago because they didn't like my
methods. Since then, I've been sitting around my flat eating lots of take-away fish and chips and reading Muggle novels. No one much comes to see me, and I
don't go to see them, and that's how I like it. A few weeks ago, Dumbledore asked me to come up here to teach, so here I am. You've been teaching and
helping Dumbledore look after Potter. Anything else is none of my business, so you can keep it to yourself."
He expected her to storm out in a green-tartan huff, but she just looked at him with great sadness, which puzzled him.
The slight tingling began under Barty's skin, heralding the coming transformation. He pulled the flask from his pocket and took three swallows.
A funny expression passed over McGonagall's face. So she'd noticed his grimace at the awful taste of the potion.
Shit.
He'd had too little time to prepare for this mission. He would have liked to perfect his performance...little things like the grimace could give him away.
But when the Dark Lord wanted something, he wanted it immediately, and Barty would never presume to argue with him, but the speed with which he'd had to
ready himself had forced him to cut some corners. The lacewing flies had only been stewed for twelve days, which meant that the potion's period of efficacy
was greatly reduced. He had to dose himself every two hours around the clock, to be safe. At least Moody's flask had come in handy. He was known for it, so
it wouldn't look odd for Barty to drink from it often, but it was supposed to be Butterbeer or something equally wholesome. He didn't want anyone wondering
what was in the flask that tasted so awful.
He had to get rid of her before he dropped any more inadvertent clues.
"If that's all, Professor, I have things to do," he said.
She didn't move.
"Is it so terrible even to be in the same room with me?"
It was nearly a whisper, and Barty scoffed to himself at her stupid, Gryffindorian need to be liked.
"What are you after, coming to my rooms at this hour? Did Dumbledore send you?"
He stepped toward her, hoping she'd be intimidated by his greater size, but she held her ground.
Glaring at her with both eyes, he asked, "Is that it?"
"No, I..."
"Are you spying on me?"
"Of course not."
"I don't believe you."
"Alastor, please listen. I..."
"Or did you come here for something else? Maybe you finally realised what you were missing. Well, if a quick ride is what you're after, I'm happy to
oblige. You're a bit of all right under those clothes."
Barty let the magical eye rove over her for a moment, keeping the other trained on her face.
She was bright pink now, hands clutching at the selvedge of her robes.
"What is wrong with you?" she asked.
"Nothing, aside from a few missing parts. But what's left still works."
He took another limping step toward her and grabbed her arm.
She shook him off. "Don't you touch me!"
"What's the problem? You didn't come down here tarted up in your fancy knickers just for a friendly chat, did you?"
"I came down here because I foolishly thought we might sort things out and be friends after all this time. I shan't make that mistake again."
She fled the room, slamming the door behind her.
Barty had the feeling she wouldn't be back.
Excellent.
23 February 1995
"Excuse me," Minerva said to Severus's back as he raced down the corridor, having nearly knocked her over on his way out of the staffroom.
She shook her head and went in, then stopped just inside the doorway.
Alastor was standing by the tea table, handing a set of robes to Dobby the house-elf.
"Wait a minute," he said, although she'd made no move either to leave or enter the room. "Come over here. I want to ask you something."
Minerva's temper flared. She was a not a lapdog to be summoned! She was about to say as much, and tell him that he could bloody well come to her office if
he wanted to meet with her, when she noticed him rubbing his bad leg. The cold February air was probably giving him a lot of pain. Her own joints had taken
to aching several years back whenever winter settled in around the draughty castle.
Glancing over to where Pomona and Filius huddled rather too obviously over the chess board, Minerva pulled her heavy outer robe more tightly around herself
and entered the room, shutting the door behind her.
"Yes, Professor Moody?"
"Have you talked with Weasley and Granger yet?"
"About what?"
"Going into the lake."
She was momentarily taken aback. Only the Heads, Ludo Bagman, and Barty Crouch...if he could be found...were supposed to know about the hostages. But she
reminded herself that Albus would have consulted Alastor about security. After the first few weeks of term, when it had become painfully clear that
Professors McGonagall and Moody were not, in fact, going to be friends ever again, or even friendly colleagues, Albus had stopped including Minerva in his
discussions with Alastor.
"No," she said. "I intend to do it after dinner this evening. Albus, Olympe, and I thought it best to wait in order to avoid the possibility that one of
them would let something slip."
"Good idea. Make sure to tell them not to antagonise the merpeople. Dumbledore trusts the slimy buggers, but I don't."
His peremptory tone infuriated her, but she held her temper. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing that he'd roused it.
"The hostages will be in an enchanted sleep." She couldn't help adding, "Or didn't Albus tell you that bit?"
He ignored her tone.
"That'll make it tough for them to escape if the champions don't rescue them in time," he said.
He'd hit on a sore spot.
Albus had assured her and the other Heads that the merpeople would return any hostages who were not rescued, and that they would not harm any of the
champions, but it still worried Minerva. Merpeople had a reputation for craftiness and deception, and they had no great liking for humans. Albus had spent
years building a relationship between himself and the Black Lake's colony, going so far as to learn Mermish, and he counted their chieftainess as a friend.
Minerva had expressed her doubts in no uncertain terms, but Albus had overruled her, and there was nothing for it but to trust in his judgement.
She searched Alastor's face for clues that he was goading her, but he merely peered back at her with an expression of mild interest.
Attempting a neutral tone, she said, "I'm quite sure Albus has made certain that..."
"What do you think Potter's chances of getting Weasley back are?"
The heat rose in her face. He was definitely goading her.
If he'd spoken with Albus, he likely knew that she wasn't optimistic that Harry would manage it. In fact, she hoped Harry hadn't worked out how to breathe
underwater at all. That way, he wouldn't be able to dive deep enough to encounter the Grindylows or, Merlin forbid, a Naiad, or any of the other hazards
the loch held. Hermione had been helping him, so there was a chance they'd worked something out, but the kind of Transfiguration that would give him an
aquatic creature's ability to survive underwater was far beyond the capabilities of either child, and though they could probably manage a Bubble-Head
Charm, its buoyancy would hinder his ability to swim quickly in deep water.
She told Alastor, "I'm not at all certain he'll be successful. The magic that will be required isn't taught until seventh year."
"What about Gillyweed?" Alastor asked.
"Gillyweed?"
Minerva frowned to herself. She remembered reading something about its magical properties, but she didn't recall it clearly.
"Yeah. If you eat it, you develop gills."
He was speaking a little too loudly, and Minerva wondered if his hearing was going.
"As helpful as that would be for the task, Professor Moody, it would present something of a problem later on."
Pomona piped up from across the room.
"Not at all. The effect is temporary, directly correlated with the amount one eats."
"And how much would he need to eat to have gills for, say, an hour?"
"Oh, I think about an ounce or two would do it. There have been a few studies. I'm surprised you know about it, Professor Moody. It's quite a rare plant,
and not many people are aware of its uses."
"I read about it in a book."
"The one you lent to Longbottom?" Pomona asked.
"The very one."
Minerva formed a sudden suspicion that Alastor was trying to pump Pomona for information.
"You didn't tell this to Potter, did you?" she asked.
"What if I did?"
"It would, in fact, be cheating."
Alastor snorted. "As if Karkaroff and Maxime haven't helped their champions."
"I don't care what the other..."
"Don't get your knickers in a twist I didn't say anything to Potter," Alastor said. "But it isn't cheating if Longbottom happens to mention it to him.
Anyway, I don't know where he'd get Gillyweed around here. The apothecary in Hogsmeade doesn't carry it, and it only grows in the Mediterranean."
"It's a shame he hasn't asked me," said Pomona. "I have a few small pots of it in one of the greenhouses. I'm almost tempted to..."
"Pomona . . ." Minerva said in a warning voice.
"All right, Minerva," Pomona said, holding up her hand. "I won't say a word. Why would I want to give Potter an advantage over Cedric? And before you ask,
I haven't mentioned it to him, either."
"Well," said Alastor. "There's still a chance. Potter's got until tomorrow at 9:30 to figure it out or have someone else clue him in. And no, it won't be
me, so don't give me your famous glare. What are you still doing here? Go on."
Minerva was about to explode when he added, "And get it right this time. No starch. Don' make me tell you again."
She realised was addressing Dobby, who was still standing there holding a pile of robes.
"Yes, Professor Moody," Dobby said, and popped away.
When she returned to her quarters later that evening, she couldn't concentrate on her marking, and finally gave up in favour of brooding over the encounter
with Alastor.
His viciousness the night she'd gone to his quarters had cured her of any notion of rapprochement between them, but they'd seemed to have entered a sort of
detente. Whatever the reason for his behaviour...true malice, neurological impairment, or some malign combination of both...it had been too awful to face, and
she'd taken the coward's way out ever since, avoiding him whenever possible. It hadn't been difficult, as Alastor seemed equally disinclined to spend any
time in her company. They'd managed to stay blessedly out of one another's way.
Which is why she'd been so surprised to see him in the staffroom that afternoon. He'd never shown up there before, to the best of her knowledge, and
certainly not to any of the 4:30 teas that she habitually took with the other Heads.
When she thought about it, what bothered her most about the entire episode was the way Alastor had spoken to the elf. While she'd been stunned at the
vitriol with which he had treated her since he'd come to Hogwarts, at least it made a twisted sort of sense. They had a history that made any relationship
between them difficult, and she understood that his nastiness was, in part, a protective mechanism, although that made it no easier to bear.
But for him to be so nasty to a house-elf?
That was nothing like the Alastor she'd once loved. He'd been uncomfortable around Elgar, true, but only because the idea of someone serving him in that
way was so alien. As gruff as he could sometimes be, Alastor had never been unkind.
She'd had no reports of problems from the students, thank Merlin, but she had heard them talk about him, and the Alastor Moody they described seemed almost
a parody of the man he'd once been, his loathing for Dark wizards and his admonitions about constant vigilance exaggerated into caricature.
She watched him surreptitiously the next day. He was agitated, pacing back and forth when it seemed that Potter wasn't going to show up. He appeared to
relax a little when the boy raced in at the last possible moment, and when it emerged that Potter had used Gillyweed after all, he wore a look of smug
satisfaction that lifted Minerva's spirits. If he'd told Harry about the Gillyweed...and she had little doubt he had done...it had been out of kindness.
She was certain of it.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Slant-Told Tale
162 Reviews | 4.64/10 Average
Oooooh, crap. Minerva has gone through far too many things, which it would really turn her into the strong woman she is. I am really enjoying how the story keeps surprising me. Thanks for this fic! :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I love doing backstory for interesting characters we only really glimpse in the books!Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
I wasn't expecting the true Bathilda Bagshot too! Such a treat! :)
oooh! Nice start!I love Minerva's character and I am really looking forward reading a whole story centered on her :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Minerva, as you can see by the number of stories I've written about her!
Ah! The Kids' POV. It would have to be Hermoine--none of the others are observant or discreet enough. Yes, Hermione, even old fogeys can be in love, and real love doesn't mind flaws... It would be interesting for Molly and Hermoine to discuss Alastor and Minerva during cooking lessons sometime. What would the kids say if they knew that Miinerva's married name was MacNair?Speaking of that, will we get to see Malcom, or Minerva's grandkids? Malcolm is still one of my all-time favorite OC's.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, Hermione, of course. And I'm glad you picked up on the parallel between Molly and Hermione, and their observations of McGonagall/Moody. It would be an interesting conversation, all right!We may get a glimpse of Malcolm and his brood soon.Stay tuned. It won't be such a long wait as last time!
Oh my!!! <Happy dance!>. I am so thrilled to see this! I'll have to go back and re-read it all. I cheated and just re-read the end of the last chapter to remind myself where we are. It was interesting to see the meeting of the reconstituted OOtP, and to see the discussion about using Sirius' house as headquarters. I also liked the discussion re:Umbridge. I never thought Dumbledore or Minerva were completely oblivious to what Fudge was up to there, but Harry's POV always seemed to suggest that. I was glad to see that Alastor is still with Minerva, too.Now to chapter 42!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for your patience, LOL!I had to go back and reread myself before I finished the chapter.No,I don't think the grownups are nearly as gormless as the kids seem to think they are. You know how teenagers are.
I had to look twice in my inbox when the notice came in that this piece had been updated. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I thought to go back and reread before reading this update, but didn't have the time, and it was interesting to see all the order members, as well as the kids, in this chapter. My favorite bit was when Alastor was gruffing about Tonks refusal to fly into the clouds, and the assumption that Moody would have them fly to Wales and back to throw off a tail.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Updated at last.Glad you enjoyed Alastor being Alastor!More soon, I hope.
I had to look twice in my inbox when the notice came in that this piece had been updated. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I thought to go back and reread before reading this update, but didn't have the time, and it was interesting to see all the order members, as well as the kids, in this chapter. My favorite bit was when Alastor was gruffing about Tonks refusal to fly into the clouds, and the assumption that Moody would have them fly to Wales and back to throw off a tail.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, believe it or not, I'm trying to finish this sucker. I had to go back and read before I wrote it!It was fun to write a bit of Tonks--someone I never wrote before.Hopefully, there will be more before too long.
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I'm excited! I might go back and reread everything now that you're active again.
......worshipping every inch of her...Oh God, you made me cry. Love's plaint- keening softly after that break-up that hurts. god, haven't we tried it sometimes.. how well written, like a straight needle you don't see in the text, Oh why isn't forgiveness easier to get and give. Those two proud people. Why did Minervagive up on him.? Doesn't she know he loves her?
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Sorry to have made you cry ;-) I think Minerva's earlier experiences have made her leery of difficult relationships. We'll have to see how they end up!
This is gripping, fabulous. I agree, there shouild be many more reviews, I adored the quick knowledgeable vistas into student life in Paris - more of these, if possible.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Again, sorry to be so late in responding (am just catching up after a crushing work season!)Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed the Paris scenes!
First off, thanks so much for the update! I've been in the mood for HP fanfiction lately, but if I (start to) read one more story that turns out to be focused on evil!Dumbledore I may swear off forever. It's quite depressing.This was up to your usual high standards. The look inside Alastor's head when he was trying to convince himself that it was really Minerva outside his door (and even after he let her in) was both believable and heart-breaking. If Minerva is determined to salvage their relationship she has some hard work ahead of her.I liked how Minerva didn't let Alastor chase her away, and how she subjected Albus to the same spells Alastor used on her -- and that Albus let her. I also liked that they convinced him to stay. He will be needed. I really liked Minerva's POV, how she tried to think only of helping Alastor, and making him comfortable. The last bit was good too.
“I don’t think there’s much I’d mind tonight.”It was perhaps a terrible thing to say, given everything that had transpired, but it was the truth. She’d think about the Dark Lord and Cedric Diggory and everything else tomorrow. Tonight, there was only the fact that Alastor still lived.Sometimes when things are bad, you have to focus only on the good things, or you just can't handle it. We know she's going to do her part (and if you continue this through DH she has a very rough patch coming) so it's good to see her at least get a good nights sleep.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks.It was time to give Minerva and Alastor a bit of a break from the angst. They've been through a lot!Glad you enjoyed it.
You have outdone yourself. Again. I always enjoy seeing canon events from another POV, and I always enjoy Minerva's, but this is special, even so.First though, I loved seeing that Alastor still had some fight left, even after everything he's been through, and the glimpse we get here is just horrifying. But I was also very glad to learn that he's realized how much he screwed up with Minerva, and is even willing to admit it. I hope he stays willing...Minerva's thoughts about Harry were great. No, she probably wouldn't admit she favored him, and no, logical thinking really isn't his strong suite. I thought your description of Dumbledore in shock was probably quite accurate too. He had to have taken some time to assimilate everything, he's only human, after all. I was a little surprised to see how quick Severus was on the uptake, but then I realized that he knew something was up even before Harry returned -- he felt the mark burn when Voldemort called the Deatheaters from the graveyard, after all.I loved seeing Minerva's version of the Kiss, and her rant at Fudge was absolutely awesome.Then there's this:
"Alastor, it's Minerva.""Minerva?"His voice was thin and creaky, and the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard."Here I am, love," she said...."Alastor?""Hmm?""Are you-- are you all right?"It was a stupid question, but he didn't seem to mind. He grinned like a man drunk."Never better." He lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the light and looked up at her. "Jaysus, but you're beautiful."She let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob.Awwwww.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for the lovely comments.Glad you caught the bit about Severus. I think some people were confused by that!Best,Squibstress
So tickled to see this updated! I'm also quite thankful that Barty hasn't caught on that Minerva and Alastor had a thing together. Thank goodness for small favors, eh? He could really destroy her if he did. Oh dear, I hope I haven't given you any ideas ...
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I'm really trying to get moving on this story.Ideas... ideas...
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I also like how you contrasted real Alastor with impostor Alastor - aka Barty ... its quite a difference but similar enough to fool even some of his closest friends.I think I would like to see some of what our dear Alastor is thinking down in that trunk, but of course I am not trying to persuade you or anything.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I'm so glad that worked for you, because it was a connundrum. In canon, JKR made Crouch sound so much like Moody that of course, no one twigged to the difference. I didn't want to do that, but there was a fine line between making him too much and too little like the real Alastor.Have you read Selmak's "The Steadfast Tin Soldier"? (It's on FFN.) She did a fabulous (and disturbing) job of imaginging what it would have been like for him in that trunk.(And it's a lovely bit of AM/MM.)
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
Well then ... I suppose I'll just have to do that. In addition, as you probably already know, White Eyebrow also did a great job with his Moody in the trunk bit ... Alastor has been on my mind quite a lot these past few weeks ... with the new knowledge that I have of the surname ... who would have ever thought. All the more reason to love Alastor.
*groans* And again ... I forgot ... Well ... misclicked.
Oh ... forgot to hit the button for notification if you respond ...
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I do that all the time.I also forget where I've left my car keys, my car, my glasses...
Well ... the last line surely took me by surprise ... way to advance time by leaps and bounds!Its been awhile since I've delved into your work, and Slant in particular ... I had to reread a few things and still others have me scratching my head .... "Frogs?" ... but anyway ... Alastor's stubborn idiocy is quite perfect really ... well parallelled to Albus' inability to allow himself to be loved ... seems they have both fallen - or dove - into that fortress of solitude.Your work is amazing, as always.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Tee, hee.Yeah, now that the business between Albus and Malcolm has been dealt with, I thought I should get start getting on with Minerva and Alastor."Frog" is a somewhat pejorative term for French person. (Alastor is not overly fond of the French.)Poor Minerva. The men in her life are somewhat foolish about love, aren't they?Thanks for sticking with the story, despite my eratic updates.
Woohoo! An update!I was happy to see Malcom and Eliane's marriage, and that the revelations about the past haven't hurt his relationship with his mother -- or his fathers. Minerva certainly seemed more relaxed than we've seen her in a while. The last sentence was a bit startling. It was good to see that Malcom will make her a grandmother, but I do hope that we see her again before then!I was sorry, but not surprised, to see Alastor continue his downward slide into paranoia. Since this is adhering to book canon (my least favorite thing about the story), his relationship with Minerva has to be distant enough for her to not suspect Crouch when the time comes, and any reconciliation between them would negate that.I'm not sure what to think about Albus. If he is unable to love, it appears to me to be because he has chosen to harden himself (with his 'iron will'), rather than it being his natural state. It's as though he fears love, or maybe what he might be capable of doing for love? In his thoughts he seemed almost relieved that he didn't feel like a father to Malcom. His reaction to the wedding was surprising, to say the least. It certainly didn't seem as though there was any happiness or joy in his tryst with Malquin, nor did it seem as though either of them expected there to be, so I have to wonder exactly what he was seeking -- a form of oblivion or denial, perhaps? I do wonder what might break through his facade (and I do think it is a facade, but then I've always liked Dumbledore, flaws and all). Anyway, it was great to be able to read this, and I hope you will be able to update again soon!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for reading and reviewing.Sorry about the canon-compliance--it's just ingrained in me, I think--but there may be some more surprises.Whenever I write Albus I always have to confront what I see as the complications canon throws in my way. I love him, but he does some really awful things to people he supposedly cares for, so I suppose these fics are my way of trying to work that out. In this fic, whether or not he's actually capable of love is up to the reader.Sorry too about the long interval. RL has thrown me a few curves, but I hope to get back to a more regular pattern of updates.Thanks for sticking with the story.
Response from dsky (Reviewer)
RL has a way of doing that.I am usually fairly rigid about canon myself. No matter how much I like a story, there's a little voice in the back of my head whispering 'but, but, but... that's not what/how it happened'. With HP though, there are so many conflicts, between the books, and interviews, and quasi-official websites, and Pottermore, that the only way to shut the voice up was to decide that only what's printed in PS/SS thru DH is canon. But it is all out there, and I can't un-know it, so I eventually decided, OK, if there are that many versions of the truth, I'll just pick the one(s!) I like best! (Everyone else does.) It lets me enjoy the RAMverse too, so that's all good.As far as Dumbledore is concerned, a lot of the negative things we learned were slanted through Rita Skeeter's pen, or his brother, or other people who didn't like him. He asked people to do a lot, but we're only privy to a miniscule part of whatever conversations went on, and he was the only general in a war with the future of the entire world at stake. He willingly died for it. People seem willing to give Snape a lot bigger break than they give Dumbledore, maybe because Snape turned out to be better than they thought (or maybe because Alan Rickman is so fantastic).I admit to only having read DH twice, and both of those a long time ago, so there may be some details I've forgotten, but I'm quite happy without them. I do love the universe though, especially the adults, and especially as expanded upon by FF writers. I can only take the kids in small doses, though. I do thank you for hours of entertainment, and your take on the characters and the universe is always entertaining.
*snip*
The door to Minerva's quarters banged open, and she swept through, dropping her bag on the table as she made a beeline for the liquor cabinet to pour herself two fingers of Cardhu. But she couldn't enjoy it; she was still too angry. She'd kept her temper in check all afternoon, but now it threatened to erupt full force and needed an outlet. She yanked her wand out of its pocket to point it at one of the cushions on her settee. It exploded in a riot of feathers, their indolent fluttering only stoking Minerva's ire. She Transfigured them into needles that hovered in the air, and imagined them pricking Sirius bloody Black until he screamed. Her fury was stemmed by the image but not scotched.I can go one better. She Transfigured the crimson velvet of the other cushion into a reasonable approximation of Black's too-handsome face, then sent the needles hurtling through the air to embed themselves in the cushion-cum-portrait. Black's fuzzy smirk changed to a silent scream of horror. The effort involved in the magic she'd just performed served its purpose, and she felt calm enough to have her drink.
*snip*
Holy CRAP! *dashes out of the room to avoid Minerva Wrath!*
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I think you have painted Black and Potter EXACTLY how I saw them from the books ... EXACTLY! I can so relate to Minerva's anger now .... those MORONS!
OH and ...
*snip*
"Everything all right, lamb?" He looked up from contemplating his dish. "Sure. Why?" "You didn't eat much dinner, and now you've barely touched your cream-crowdie. When you've lost your sweet tooth, I know something's wrong."
*snip*
*grins* Daddy's boy, eh? I love eeet!
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*snip*
"Oh, Malcolm—" "How could he have no idea that you might end up pregnant if he slept with you? Was he a complete fool, or just a randy bastard?" "Don't you dare!" she shouted, and Malcolm recoiled as if he'd been slapped. "Mum—" "No, you have no right to judge him! I lied to him, and I used him, used our friendship. And he forgave me, even though I believe it nearly killed him to find that he had a son he couldn't raise. He wasn't— Malcolm?" He had taken two staggering steps backward and clapped a hand over his mouth.
*snip*
See there - see that right there? See this is why you are brilliant. You showed us HOW Malcolm figured it out ... you show us how brilliant Malcolm is ... see, you could have just said it, but how dull that would be, but you SHOW us ... Malcolm figures out who his father is BY his mother's reaction! Who is she loyal to a fault to ... who is she absolutely devoted to, without being in a romantic relationship? Yeah ... brilliant.
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*snip*
"Malcolm, wait, please." Her tone stopped him. "What?" "Come sit down. I have something else to tell you."
*snip*
ARG! The only thing I can think of is ... um the rat incident ... but ARG! Cliffhangers are not KIND!
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*taps foot* If I am going to submit these silly reviews, I bloody well expect you to at least read them! *snort*
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
My first response was "????" But then I saw that you submitted the review in July. Don't know why I didn't see them then, but a million apologies!I can't take total credit for the Marauders; the incident I alluded to was something JKR wrote as a fundraiser. (But Minerva's reaction is all my own, LOL!)Yes, I think Malcolm is pretty clever, like his parents.Thanks for the kind words!
*snip*
Malcolm didn't say anything, and Alastor prodded him. "Answer my question. Do you want kids?"
"What I want or don't want doesn't come into it. I can't have children."
*snip*
Now that sounds just like someone else we both know ... perfect really, Malcolm does seem to resemble his father more than his mother, the way you wrote him, and ironically, he doesn't even know his father yet.
*snip*
He didn't see. He didn't see at all, and that was fine by Alastor. It was better that way. Better Malcolm should think it was animosity rather than fear. He and Minerva didn't need to be lumbered with a useless old cripple who was prone to hearing things that weren't there. They both had better things to do.
Malcolm said, "She only wants to help. She cares about you."
"Don't need her help."
It sounded harsh and ungrateful, and it was. He was suddenly angry, and he couldn't be grateful that a woman who once loved him now felt sorry enough for him to spend her precious summer days caring for the gimp he'd become.
*snip*
Pride is a terrible emotion that does nothing but isolate us from those that care about us as well as cause us to put ourselves on pedestals, and we all know there is only one way down from a pedestal.
*snip*
She had a word—several words—and by the time she finished, all traces of Spleen's smile had evaporated, and he was stammering apologies and nodding his head in vigorous agreement when she told him that she expected to hear that Senior Auror Alastor Moody had received nothing but the most respectful and compassionate treatment, lest Spleen find himself answering to her, to Malcolm, and to Albus Dumbledore, Auror Moody's dear friend.
*snip*
I like this bit ... Minerva couldn't just say 'my family' but that's what she means ... which again causes me to wonder ... now that Malcolm knows - well in the next chappie anyway ... will he change his name ... I wouldn't think to Dumbledore or Albus would probably have a cow, but to McGonagall, I'd think that would be appropriate.
Spleen reminds me of a nurse I had when I busted my head open as a kid. He was so nasty to me. You do a very good job of making him absolutely awful. I so hate false concern and congeniality.
And I can see Alastor being a royal pain of a patient. *nods* I think that fits. No cooperation on his part what so ever. Much as I love him, I think I'd have to smack him here.
Did I mention that your work was brilliant? OH I did? OK well never mind then *whistles*
Shit. You are an evil, evil woman. I hate cliffhangers.
Malcolm took it much better than I thought he would, but then, in a way, he's been facing the same choice, so he should understand. And he's thoughtful, and intelligent, and... did I mention that I like Malcolm? I hope he takes the next bit half as well.
When she didn't respond, he continued. "How many mad Macnairs do you think I'd father? One? Two? How many is too many?"
There was a roaring in her ears, and her belly attempted to turn over.
Not now.
Somehow, she'd convinced herself that Malcolm wouldn't see things the way she had done as a young woman faced with the same dilemma. That worry had been packed away with the last of her wedding silver and Gerald's clothes when she'd fled the horrors of her marriage for the promise of new freedom in her native land. She realised now that her unwillingness to admit the seriousness of Malcolm's feelings for Eliane Giroux had perhaps been another way of avoiding the issue.
Well said. It's frightening sometimes, how easy it can be to convince ourselves that what we want to be true, is true, and it takes a major setback for us to re-examine our beliefs.
A familiar anger gripped her, and she crossed her arms tightly around her body. What did her son--or any of her students--know of difficult choices? They, who had been born into a post-Grindelwald world, with freedoms they enjoyed without understanding how much it had cost. And now there was another war because of it, because so many people failed to understand that, yes, constant vigilance was required to keep those hard-won freedoms for everyone, witch and wizard, pure-blood and Muggle-born.
Well said again, and true about so many things.
"How could he have no idea that you might end up pregnant if he slept with you? Was he a complete fool, or just a randy bastard?"
"Don't you dare!" she shouted, and Malcolm recoiled as if he'd been slapped.
"Mum--
"No, you have no right to judge him! I lied to him, and I used him, used our friendship. And he forgave me, even though I believe it nearly killed him to find that he had a son he couldn't raise. He wasn't-- Malcolm?"
He had taken two staggering steps backward and clapped a hand over his mouth.
I loved this. How quickly she rose to Albus' defense, and how quickly Malcolm figured out who it was when she did.
I liked the bit at the beginning too -- about how immature James and Sirius were, and how she channeled her anger. I always thought the Marauders went from prats to saints a little too quickly. At least here you show that it took a little time.
Well done once again. I've been anticipating this chapter since almost the beginning of the story, and I was not disappointed. I think I could have quoted the whole thing. I love Minerva and Malcolm together, and I liked seeing things from Minerva's POV. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I truly didn't intend for this to be a cliffie, but the chapter was getting long.I think it helped that Minerva's news meant Malcolm could follow his heart. I'm glad this chapter met expectations. I've been thinking about it since I first conceived this story (pun intended), although I didn't think it would take me quite so long to get here!The opening bit about James and Sirius was inspired by a 500-word story JKR wrote to benefit EnglishPEN, so I used it for my nefarious purposes. I think they were abominably immature and cocky, which I can only imagine drove Minerva to drink, LOL!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I truly didn't intend for this to be a cliffie, but the chapter was getting long.I think it helped that Minerva's news meant Malcolm could follow his heart. I'm glad this chapter met expectations. I've been thinking about it since I first conceived this story (pun intended), although I didn't think it would take me quite so long to get here!The opening bit about James and Sirius was inspired by a 500-word story JKR wrote to benefit EnglishPEN, so I used it for my nefarious purposes. I think they were abominably immature and cocky, which I can only imagine drove Minerva to drink, LOL!
Whew! Alastor just can't catch a break, can he? This section:
There was no such diffidence with this one. Alastor was being pulled forcefully in a direction he was sure he didn't care to go.There was no air, and it was fast becoming a question of who'd pass out first.
I'm god damned if it'll be me.
His consciousness was funnelling away. Alastor marshalled his last bit of magical energy and concentrated on a single stone in the floor of the Ministry cell--the one with the scorch mark where a supposedly Petrified collar had surprised him by firing a wordless curse--just that stone and nothing else.
There was a burst of light, and his chest expanded. At the same moment, his back hit something hard enough that if he'd had any air left in his lungs, it would have been knocked out of him. Something warm and wet was on top of him, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the Death Eater's eyes only millimetres from his. They were lifeless and staring.
is just outstanding. I really feel and see the whole sequence.
I loved seeing Malcolm again, all grown up and still with Eliane. I loved that he stepped up and became the 'adult' to comfort Minerva when she needed it. I had wondered about his reaction to the breakup, Alastor really was more a father to him than anyone else. (She obviously hasn't told him Albus is his father. Not that I'm surprised by that.) I'd guess Minerva told Malcolm about the break-up the way she did because she didn't know what else to say -- they broke up in September, and she just wrote a short note at the end of a letter in October? It was probably as hard for her to write it as it was for him to read it. And three years on, clearly she still loves Alastor, but I don't think either of them could change enough to make it work between them long-term.
As much as I love Malcolm, I always get a sense of foreboding when he is around, probably because I'm afraid you're going to up the ante on the angst, and he's Minerva's real weakness. He's also probably my favorite OC in any story I've read. He's just so real, and you've done a wonderful job of getting inside his head as he's grown-up, giving him age-appropriate reactions and thoughts. That and he seems like a thoroughly decent guy.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yeah, this is sort of the "abuse Alastor" section of the story.I'm so glad you enjoy Malcolm! He is Minerva's greatest weakness, as you say, and they do have some unfinished business, so there will be a bit more of him.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yeah, this is sort of the "abuse Alastor" section of the story.I'm so glad you enjoy Malcolm! He is Minerva's greatest weakness, as you say, and they do have some unfinished business, so there will be a bit more of him.
I adore this version of Alastor so much that it really hurts to see him becoming a lonely, suspicious drunk. Which is probably a compliment to your writing, but it still makes me sad!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Alastor too. We always hurt the one we love. At least, writers do. I strongly suspect we're all secret sadists.Thanks for reading and commenting!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Alastor too. We always hurt the one we love. At least, writers do. I strongly suspect we're all secret sadists.Thanks for reading and commenting!
An update! An update! [Happy Dance]
Oh, how sad! She's keeping things from him to avoid the arguments, and he's setting tests for her to make her prove she cares, and lashing out to get some reaction, and after Gerald she doesn't have it in her to sustain that kind of relationship, and it's all going downhill, and they're just making each other unhappy -- and it's just too, too, sad.
She found she didn't really want to know, and it shamed her.And
Despite the water she'd just had, her mouth was dry again, and the creeping sensation of guilt picked at her chest.
And
She said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry. I was--
And
"And you didn't trust me?"
"Should I?"
Minerva has enough guilt over Malcom's conception and what she did to Gerald. She doesn't need manufactured guilt because she's trying to avoid conflict with Alastor because he can't accept her choices. He's right too, about how very, very dangerous it is, but he's handling it all wrong, and he's so close to the edge psychologically that after dealing with Gerald and his father, she can't handle it in Alastor too, but she's the only thing keeping him grounded, tenuous as it is... It's hard to see him spiraling out of control. Thank goodness for Kingsley.
As always, you make me empathize with everyone. I wonder how well Minerva is handling it?
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, finally an update! I was sorry to do it with such a morose chapter, but them's the breaks.Yes, it's a guilt-and-misunderstanding fest all around.Thanks for reviewing!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, finally an update! I was sorry to do it with such a morose chapter, but them's the breaks.Yes, it's a guilt-and-misunderstanding fest all around.Thanks for reviewing!
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