Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter 34 of 48
SquibstressBefore she was Professor McGonagall, she was Minerva Macnair. After an arranged marriage forces her into an impossible situation, Minerva does what she must to survive. When she makes a new life for herself, her secrets follow and threaten everything, including the only love she has ever found. The tale of a woman, her secrets, and how she keeps them.
Winner - 3rd Place, Best Drama-Angst WIP - Fall/Winter 2012 HP Fanfic Fanpoll Awards
11 June 1977
In the beginning, there was sound.
Something metallic pinged, and there was pain, sharp at first, then it receded like the tide, and he floated over it.
Then pain again. And then no pain.
And more sound. He thought it would go, like before, but it didn't, and the sound became voices. He knew this, though he didn't know what they were saying. It didn't matter, as long as he could just drift on the sea of no pain.
The voices became words...sounds still meaningless to him, but they had meaning, and the meaning taunted him, drawing nearer and flitting away.
He opened his eyes.
Pain! Light!
He shut them again, and the words said, "Here he is. Come on now, Moody. Open up again. Speak to him."
Moody. It meant something. Something . . . it was there. Just out of his reach.
A different voice, and more words, their familiarity soothing now instead of maddening. "Alastor? Alastor, can you hear me? Open your eyes."
The terrible light was waiting, but he wanted to see the voice. The soothing one, because it made him feel something, and that something wasn't pain.
He opened his eyes again and shut them. And opened them. And shut them. And opened . . . and this time, the light wasn't so bad, so he let them stay open.
The voice said, "Alastor," and it was a sigh, but it was a name. His name.
He saw shapes. And colour. And the shapes and colour became a face. The lovely, familiar face, all cheekbones and thin lips and pale skin, smiled down at him.
And Alastor was speaking, saying her name, but the face was frowning, and the only sound he heard was a strangled gargle. He was drowning, drowning in the sea of no pain . . . but drowning all the same, and he didn't want it. He wanted to keep looking at her.
Another face came into view and the lovely vision disappeared. A hand came behind Alastor's neck and propped him up. Another hand held a basin under Alastor's chin, and a voice said, "It's mucous, nothing to worry about. Spit."
Alastor did, and when he was done, he tried to speak again, but molten lead flowed through his head, dragging it back down to the pillow.
The lead tide overtook him, and he closed his eyes.
/***/
Alastor woke again two days later. He was disoriented and combative...which both alarmed Minerva and gave her hope...and Malcolm had to help the Healer subdue him long enough to pour a Calming Draught into his mouth. Bile rose in Minerva's throat as the Healer put a hand over Alastor's mouth and held his nostrils shut. Alastor fought and sputtered, eventually swallowing and drawing a gasping breath. Malcolm and the Healer restrained his arms to prevent him from thrashing, and his eye finally drooped and closed, and his breathing slowed. Minerva thought he'd gone back to sleep, but suddenly, the bright blue eye snapped open, blinked a few times, and appeared to focus.
His voice was a sandpapery whisper.
"You dead?"
Minerva gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile and said, "No."
"Good. Wouldn't like that."
Thank the gods.
Minerva was no Healer, but she believed that Alastor had escaped the brain damage they had said sometimes occurred after massive blood loss.
She was about to speak to him, but his eye closed again, and she turned to the Healer in helpless alarm.
"Auror Moody, can you hear me?" the Healer asked loudly.
Alastor opened his eye, and Minerva relaxed again.
She made room at Alastor's bedside as the Healer withdrew his wand began to wave it.
"Expelliarmus!" Alastor shouted, startling everyone, and the Healer's wand flew from his hand to soar over the bed and clatter to the floor. At the same time, Alastor's right arm shot out, and Minerva knew he was going for his wand.
When it didn't spring into his hand, he shouted, "Accio my wand!" When no wand appeared, he roared and struggled to rise, but fell back against the bed with a hoarse howl.
Malcolm and Minerva were next to him, talking over one another, trying to soothe and calm him.
"Incarcerous!"
Ropes appeared and bound Alastor's arms to the bedrails.
The shocked, hollow look on Alastor's face would later appear in Minerva's nightmares.
"Finite," Alastor said.
Nothing happened.
"Finite Incantatem!"
"Don't waste your energy, Auror Moody. You're far too weak to do any more wandless magic," the Healer said. His face was red, and the smarmy smile he'd worn since entering the room had disappeared.
"Lemme up!"
"Not while there is a danger you will harm yourself."
"Isn't me I'm going to harm, you bastard."
The Healer went to the other side of the bed and picked up his wand.
Alastor struggled against the ropes.
"You're going to hurt yourself, Alastor," Minerva said. "If you calm down, I'm sure Healer Spleen will release the bonds."
"How do I know he's a Healer?"
"You're in St Mungo's. He's been caring for you for almost a week."
"And how do I know yer tellin' the truth?"
How could she answer?
Malcolm knelt by Alastor and spoke very quietly. "Alastor, you were injured. They saved your life. Don't you think that if anyone here wanted you dead, you'd already be buried?"
Alastor looked from Malcolm to Minerva.
"Let them help you. As they've done before," Malcolm said.
Alastor's breathing slowed, and at last he said, "Reckon you've got a point." To the Healer, he said, "Get these ropes off."
"Will you allow me to do my tests?" the Healer asked.
"Hah! Sure, why not?" Alastor said. "Now get 'em off."
The Healer stood there, as if considering, and Minerva said, "Please, Healer Spleen. He's fine now. He was only a little disoriented. And when you came at him with the wand..."
"I hardly 'came at him,'" Spleen said, sounding like a petulant child.
Minerva's temper rose, but she kept her voice steady. "No, but you gave him no warning. You can hardly blame him for reacting, after what he's been through."
Spleen's lips pressed together and curved upward in his imitation smile. He gave her no answer and turned back to his patient.
"I'm going to use my wand to do the tests. If you can remain calm, I will remove the ropes, but I will not hesitate to bind you again if you fight."
Alastor nodded once, and Spleen released the bonds.
He approached Alastor, wand drawn, and waited for a moment, as if challenging a tetchy Hippogriff. Alastor didn't move, his eye stony and fixed on Spleen's still-pink face. Spleen proceeded with the exam, waving his wand in arcs and complicated figures around Alastor's head. That completed, he took the chart from the end of Alastor's bed and pulled a self-inking quill from his robe pocket to make notes.
He said, "I need to test your cognitive functioning, so please try to pay attention."
"I'm fine," Alastor said. His glare was less intimidating without anything covering the empty socket where his right eye should have been.
Smile still cemented on his face, Spleen said, "Well, I think you should let me be the judge of your condition, hmm?" He drew his wand again, and for a moment, Minerva thought Alastor would refuse, but he said, "Suit yerself."
Spleen took Alastor through a series of tests: of his eye, his ears, and the reflexes in his hands and arms. When he finished, Spleen tucked his wand away and picked up Alastor's chart again.
"My name is Healer Spleen," he said, quill moving rapidly across the parchment. "I'm going to ask you a few questions."
Without looking up from his note-taking, he asked, "Who is Minister for Magic?
"Millie Bagnold."
Minerva and Malcolm exchanged a smile.
"What's your mother's name?"
"Clara. Was."
"My name is Healer Spleen. What year is it?"
"Nineteen seventy . . . seven."
"Month?"
"Ap... May. Maybe. Dunno."
Minerva tensed.
"I am Healer Spleen. What's the next word in this sentence: Never tickle a sleeping . . . ?"
"Dragon."
"Who is that man over there?" Spleen pointed to Malcolm.
"Malcolm Macnair."
"And this woman?"
"Minerva. Minerva McGonagall." He didn't look at her.
"And who am I?"
Alastor frowned.
Spleen looked up from his notes. "What's my name?"
"Hell if I know! Stop askin' stupid questions!" Alastor's eye closed again, but Minerva knew he hadn't fallen asleep.
She waited for the Healer to reassure him that some memory difficulty was to be expected, but there was silence as he wrote in the chart. He flipped it closed with a decisive crack that made Minerva jump, and Alastor's eye popped open again.
Spleen said, "Auror Moody, we have things to discuss."
"So. Discuss," Alastor said. His voice was stronger and his words clearer than when he had first awoken.
"You were very gravely injured."
"No kidding?"
Minerva let a laugh escape her, more out of a hysterical sort of relief than out of amusement. She suppressed it when Spleen looked over at her in irritation.
He cleared his throat and looked back at Alastor.
"We couldn't save your right leg."
Minerva watched Alastor's jaw work as if he were chewing a particularly gristly piece of meat. She bit down hard on her tongue to keep from crying.
The moments clicked agonisingly by, and finally, Alastor raised a shaky hand to scratch at his nose. "Imagine you couldn't find it."
Spleen's smile returned. "Quite. You were badly Splinched."
"Yeah. You might say that." Alastor's personality had re-emerged on the same trajectory as the strength of his voice. "So tell me, Healer . . ." He leant up to read the Healer's badge but gave a sharp hiss and flopped back against the pillow, his teeth clenched.
Spleen said, "I'll order more pain potion for you in a little while."
Alastor turned his head away from them, and when he turned it back, the grimace was gone. Minerva wondered how much effort his strong, even tone cost him when he asked, "When do I get out of here?"
"Oh . . ." Spleen chuckled as if at a small child's antics, and Minerva wanted to hex him.
"It will be quite some time. Probably a matter of weeks."
"No chance. Fix me up with a wooden leg, and I'll be out of yer hair."
"I'm afraid it isn't that simple. You lost nearly fifty percent of your blood volume. Frankly, no one expected you to survive. No patient in my experience has ever lost more than forty percent and lived, never mind neurologically intact."
"Which means?"
"It means that we don't know if your brain is functioning normally," said Spleen. "You have problems with immediate recall, among other difficulties. That could be temporary or permanent. We'll make some more tests over the next few days to be certain. There may be other sequelae that aren't yet apparent. At the very least, you'll be too weak to move for a few weeks. And fitting a prosthesis will be challenging, as you lost the leg above the knee, which makes things more complicated."
"Complicated," Alastor muttered, and the Healer looked at Minerva as if his patient's truculence were her fault.
She came up to the bed and said, "If you need anything, Alastor, I'll..."
Alastor gave a deep groan that Minerva felt in the pit of her belly. His hands groped down his leg to just above where the sheet went abruptly flat.
"What is it?" Minerva asked, alarmed.
"Nothing," Alastor said through gritted teeth.
"Alastor..."
"Nothing, I said!"
Spleen grabbed the sheet covering Alastor's legs, but Alastor held it fast.
"Leave it!"
"Auror Moody, I have to check your leg." He tore the sheet from Alastor's grip and pulled it down.
Minerva caught a glimpse of white bandages, spotted with red before Alastor tugged the sheet back up, shouting, "I said leave it!" His face was the colour of congealed oatmeal, and his eye careered around the room, as the magical one usually did, lighting briefly on Minerva, then on his injured leg and darting away.
Spleen had drawn his wand, obviously contemplating restraining his patient once again, but Malcolm stepped toward him, shaking his head in warning. Spleen lowered the wand. He put it in his pocket and took up the chart, pretending to ignore the angry wizard towering over him.
"Just get me some pain potion," Alastor said.
Spleen was scratching notes. "Mmm, hmm. As soon as I've..."
Minerva said, "Now, Healer Spleen."
Spleen's head snapped up in surprise at her sharp tone. He looked at Malcolm, whose gaze was blue steel. A shiver of primal fear ran through Minerva and blended into a great rush of love for her son.
"Get it." Malcolm said. "Run, in fact."
When the door shut behind the Healer, Alastor, whose fists were clenched into tight balls, said, "Malcolm. How long have you been here?" His cadence was careful and measured.
"Since two days after your injury," Malcolm said. "Mum owled me."
Alastor's eye found Minerva, and she nearly touched his arm, but something in the way he looked at her made her hold back.
"Good of her," he said as if she weren't even there.
Malcolm glanced at his mother. He said, "Yeah. She was really worried, weren't you, Mum? We all were. You gave us a hell of a scare, Alastor."
"I've been in scrapes before."
"But not like this," Minerva said. "You frightened me. Us."
"I'm all right," Alastor said, too loudly.
The Healer came back in with the potion.
"This should help you sleep," he said.
"Bugger that. I'll sign whatever you like, but I'm getting out."
"Once you're stable and you've got some strength back, we can consider it," Spleen said, the tight little smile so wide it reminded Minerva of the exaggerated mouth of a puppet she'd seen once as a child in Inverleith Park.
"I'm stable enough," Alastor said.
The Healer's Punch-and-Judy grin never faded. "Take your potion," he said, and placed the phial on the stand beside the bed, far enough away that Alastor would have to stretch to reach it. "Perhaps you'll be calm enough for me to examine the stump then." He took his quill and made a show of writing a final note on Alastor's chart, then left without another word.
"Bastard," Alastor said. His face was still white.
Minerva retrieved the phial and gave it to Alastor, who took it without meeting her face. He uncorked it and sniffed deeply. Only then did his eye fix on her, as penetrating as always. He swallowed the potion and tossed the empty phial on the floor, where it shattered.
Malcolm said, "Alastor, is there anything we can do for you?"
"Yeah. Get me out of this hellhole."
"As soon as you're well enough. I promise." Malcolm took Alastor's hand. "I promise."
The pain potion must have begun to work its magic, because Alastor made no reply, and his face relaxed. When he fell asleep, Minerva and Malcolm went out into the corridor.
Spleen was coming out of a room a few doors down, and the fury she'd banked bubbled to the surface and threatened to overflow if she didn't give it voice.
"Spleen," she called, striding over to him. "I want a word with you."
She had a word...several words...and by the time she finished, all traces of Spleen's smile had evaporated, and he was stammering apologies and nodding his head in vigorous agreement when she told him that she expected to hear that Senior Auror Alastor Moody had received nothing but the most respectful and compassionate treatment, lest Spleen find himself answering to her, to Malcolm, and to Albus Dumbledore, Auror Moody's dear friend.
Spleen hurried off down the corridor, and Malcolm said, "Well done, Mum," and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Wait here a minute," she said. She opened the door and peeked into Alastor's room. He was sleeping. She slipped in and went to the small cupboard. It was sealed, but a simple spell broke the charm, and the door swung open. She found what she was looking for and debated for a moment before choosing the patch over the magical eye. She carefully slipped it on Alastor, fastening the strap behind his head. He looked less vulnerable, more himself. As she looked at him, her hand reached out, stopped mid-air, and continued on to brush a strand of hair from his damp forehead. On impulse, she leant down and kissed it.
"Sleep well, love," she whispered and slipped back out of the room.
/***/
It was two weeks before they could arrange to take Alastor home.
His strength had improved enough that the Healers had fitted him with a prosthetic leg...an ugly, unwieldy thing with a leather sleeve for his stump and straps that went around his hips. It squeaked every time the fake knee bent. He still hadn't been able to take a step on it without a crutch, but he refused the pushchair Malcolm had requested from Mungo's.
Healer Spleen insisted that Alastor was still too weak to Apparate or Floo, so he and Malcolm had to take a Muggle taxi to Alastor's flat. Alastor hoped to Christ that there were no Death Eaters watching the flat when Malcolm helped him out of the taxi and up the three steps to the door.
"I hope you don't mind," Malcolm said, "Mum and I couldn't get past your wards, so Auror Shacklebolt let us in. We got in some food and tidied up a bit."
Panic sliced through Alastor's chest. Shacklebolt could always break through his wards, the only one who ever could. The man had a freakish talent for it. It used to be a game between them, but now it seemed sinister.
"You okay, Alastor?
"Yeah, fine. You and your mum were here?"
"Yes. Just to get things ready for you. She wanted to come today, but she had something she had to do. I told her I could manage."
Alastor wondered if the "something" Minerva had to do was Order-related. Or maybe she'd taken the hints he'd dropped over the week and decided he wasn't worth the effort anymore. That would be good.
Malcolm drew his wand and removed Kingsley's wards. When the door opened, Alastor tensed, his magical eye darting about, searching for threats behind the walls of the entryway. He was so intent on his perimeter check that he didn't notice when his crutch caught on the threshold. He stepped out into space onto a leg he didn't feel, and for a moment, he was in free fall. A bolt of fire shot up his stump, and he cried out. Fortunately, Malcolm grabbed him, so anyone watching was spared the sight of Senior Auror and Pathetic Crip Alastor Moody falling arse over teakettle.
He stood panting, leaning against Malcolm. The pain subsided, and after he caught his breath, he nodded that he was ready to continue. Malcolm Summoned the crutch, and they went into the flat, the dull thud of the crutch and the faint but shrill squeal of his false knee mocking Alastor with each step.
The tiny sitting room was much cleaner than Alastor remembered.
So she'd seen the empty carry-out tins, the endless bottles of Butterbeer that were the only thing he kept in his cool cupboard because he was afraid if he ran out, he'd turn to something stronger to slake his thirst. Had she also seen the picture that sat on the table by his rumpled bed? Did she guess that sometimes, when his thoughts were so riotous he feared they might burst from his head and become real, he stroked his cock as he looked at her picture, not for the pleasure...it was hardly that, anyway...but to replace thinking with sensation? Sometimes he couldn't even make himself come. He might as well have taken a razor to his arms. Had she seen the picture and known that he beat off looking at it? Or worse, did she guess that he sometimes spoke to the picture?
The thought left him breathless again.
Malcolm saw him falter, and took his arm to lead him to a chair.
"Thanks," Alastor said once he was settled, and Malcolm helped him lift the bum leg to rest on the ottoman Minerva had insisted on buying to keep him from putting his feet up on the tea table. The sturdy blue burlap had worn away over the years to the point where the stuffing peeked through in spots, but he'd been unable to get rid of this, the only item they ever purchased together for the flat.
Malcolm made them tea and sandwiches, which tasted like heaven after the slop they'd given him in Mungo's. His belly full, Alastor realised that he was exhausted. As humiliating as it was, he had to let Malcolm help him hobble to the bathroom and get seated on the bog.
It was hard to balance on the seat, and he kept a hand on the side of the sink. He almost fell off when he reached for the paper.
When he came out, Malcolm had laid out a nightshirt and put a glass of water on the nightstand next to Alastor's bed along with a phial of pain potion and clean pads and gauze for his dressing. Holding out up a tin of something Alastor didn't recognise, Malcolm said, "My apprentice sent this over. It's a topical salve to help relieve the chafing from the prosthesis. I added some Tibetan potentilla to help with phantom pains. It's a little experimental, but I checked with Spleen, and he gave his blessing. Just rub a pea-sized amount into the grafted skin when you change the dressing."
"Great, thanks."
"I'll kip out there on the settee. Yell if you need anything else. Good night, Alastor."
"Good night."
It took Alastor nearly ten minutes to change his clothes and remove the false leg. He wished he had pyjamas; he looked . . . incomplete with just one white, hairy limb sticking out from under the nightshirt.
Helpless.
He sat there for a few minutes, using the calming exercises he'd learnt long ago in Auror training...ones he'd rarely had to use in combat...to quiet the madcap beating of his heart.
He took his wand from under his pillow. The cedar was warm in his hand, its power a thrum that ran not through his hand but through his blood. His heart gradually slowed and steadied its pace, and he turned his attention to his dressing.
The stump was cool, only weeping slightly when he removed the bandage. When he couldn't put it off any longer, he opened Malcolm's salve and applied it. It hurt like a Banshee's wail, and he gritted his teeth to keep the moan from escaping, but after a few minutes, warmth spread over the electrified end of the leg, and it felt better than it had all day. In fact, Alastor decided he'd give the pain potion a miss tonight. It made him sleep too deeply, and you couldn't be too careful. He applied the fresh dressing and fell asleep, wand still in his hand.
He woke three times during the night, certain he heard voices in the room. He sat up in bed each time, trembling and sweating, wand at the ready. When he finally slept again, his dreams were filled with the reds and greens of curse-light and the lifeless eyes of the Death Eater.
/***/
Malcolm had put breakfast on the table when Alastor came thunking in.
After they ate, Malcolm told him, "Mum said she'd be here at ten."
"She's coming here? Today?"
"Well . . . yes. Why?"
"Best not."
"I see." Malcolm spoke softly.
He didn't see. He didn't see at all, and that was fine by Alastor. It was better that way. Better Malcolm should think it was animosity rather than fear. He and Minerva didn't need to be lumbered with a useless old cripple who was prone to hearing things that weren't there. They both had better things to do.
Malcolm said, "She only wants to help. She cares about you."
"Don't need her help."
It sounded harsh and ungrateful, and it was. He was suddenly angry, and he couldn't be grateful that a woman who once loved him now felt sorry enough for him to spend her precious summer days caring for the gimp he'd become.
Malcolm said, "You'll need someone's help."
"Your mum's busy. And you've got your own life. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Kingsley said he'd look in on me."
"Alastor..."
"I appreciate everything you've done. You bein' here has meant . . . meant a lot. But it's time for you to go home to your girl."
Malcolm shook his head, and Alastor got a sudden glimmer of intuition that Malcolm's troubles weren't all to do with him.
"What?" he asked Malcolm.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing when you won't look me in the eye. I'm not that ugly."
Malcolm went over to the window and stared out for a few moments. Alastor stayed quiet. If Malcolm wanted to tell him what was bothering him, he would.
Malcolm turned back and said, "It's just that being here has given me time to think."
"Thinking's good," Alastor said. "More people should try it."
"Yeah, well . . . I'm thinking I might like to come back to Scotland."
"Nothing wrong with that. What's Eliane say?"
"I'm not sure . . . I'm not sure I want her to come with me."
Alastor's neutral "oh" belied the heaviness that blossomed in his chest. Malcolm and Eliane had been together for fourteen years. A year longer than he and Minerva had lasted.
"It isn't her fault," Malcolm said.
"Never said it was."
"She wants to get married."
"Not unreasonable after you've been living together for so long. But you don't want to."
"No, it isn't that I don't want to, but she wants to get married because she wants children. Time's running short, she says.
Eliane was only a few years older than Malcolm. So young, Alastor thought, the both of them. Had he and Minerva ever been so young?
Malcolm looked pained. "I shouldn't be bothering you with this."
"Don't be an eejit. Besides, it's good for me to think about someone else's troubles for a change. So, you don't want kids, or you don't want them now?"
Malcolm didn't say anything, and Alastor prodded him. "Answer my question. Do you want kids?"
"What I want or don't want doesn't come into it. I can't have children."
"Come again?"
"Alastor. I know about my family."
Careful, man.
He said, "And?"
"Oh, come on, Alastor. My grandfather? His brother? My father? The men in my family go mad. I can't do that to a child. And I can't do it to Eliane. I have to face that."
"Hold on here, Malcolm," Alastor said. "I know all about your great-uncle and your granddad. I've read the case files. Far as I can tell, they were cracked from the time they got out of short pants. You're thirty-what now? Thirty-two? You're not like them."
"You don't know that. My dad..."
"Wasn't mad. I knew your dad at school, not well, but some. And I know what your mother's told me, and he wasn't mad. He was a drunk and maybe a lot of other things, but there was nothing wrong with his head that his own da and Firewhisky didn't put there."
"No," Malcolm said, shaking his head. "I can't accept that. Every single man in my father's family has been violent since my great-grandfather started killing women as a hobby. Maybe even before, I don't know."
"Your Uncle Walden..." Alastor said, clutching at straws.
"Slaughters animals for a living. And Merlin knows what else on his days off."
There was a short silence.
Alastor broke it. "And that's why you've not married Eliane after all this time?"
Malcolm nodded.
"And what's she say about it?"
"She doesn't know. I haven't told her much about my family."
Secrets. More bloody secrets.
"Never thought I'd see the day," Alastor said.
"What?"
"That I'd call Malcolm Macnair a coward."
"How anxious would you be to tell the woman you love that every single man in your family ended up a killer?"
"I'd give you good odds she knows already. She never struck me as stupid."
"She's never said anything."
"Did you ever stop to think that it could be she's scared too?"
"Then why..."
"She knows you, Malcolm. Like I do. You're not a killer."
"Not now, but..."
"Not now, not ever."
He got up and lumbered over to where Malcolm stood.
"Malcolm," he said, digging his fingers into Malcolm's arm to make him remember. "Listen to me as you've never listened before. You aren't like them."
Malcolm stared at him.
"You aren't like them."
He saw that Malcolm didn't believe him.
Alastor released Malcolm's arm. "I think you should talk to your mother."
"I don't want to upset her."
"I don't blame you. But I think she'll be upset if you split with Eliane over this."
"She never..."
"Malcolm. I'm telling you again. Talk to her. Tell her your fears."
Too many fucking secrets.
They'd destroyed what Alastor and Minerva could have had, and Alastor was damned if he'd sit back and watch them destroy Malcolm.
He'd almost blurted it out. But the thought of what he might set in motion terrified Alastor, and he'd pulled back at the last moment, only giving Malcolm the pathetic response one gives to a child who's asked a difficult question: Daddy's busy. Go talk to mummy.
Opening the Pandora's box of Minerva's past could do as much damage as letting it alone. Merlin only knew how Malcolm would react to the news that the man he'd mourned as his father was a sad mirage. It wasn't Alastor's risk to take.
And somewhere, buried in a secret, shameful place in Alastor's heart, dwelt the fear that, learning the truth, Malcolm would pull away from him, too. Learning that his father, his real father, wasn't a drunken buffoon, but the greatest wizard of the age. A wizard who'd been there throughout his growing-up, guiding and teaching, doing all the things Alastor tried to do, but doing them effortlessly and much better than a man who only had occasional weekends and a week in summer to give to a boy who needed so much more.
A fierce, almost angry love for Malcolm took Alastor by surprise, and he turned away, pretending to get a sip of water, so Malcolm wouldn't see.
Minerva will tell him.
It had to be done, the scab ripped open like a wound that festered, and Alastor had plenty of first-hand experience to tell him how painful that would be.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Slant-Told Tale
162 Reviews | 4.64/10 Average
Oooooh, crap. Minerva has gone through far too many things, which it would really turn her into the strong woman she is. I am really enjoying how the story keeps surprising me. Thanks for this fic! :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I love doing backstory for interesting characters we only really glimpse in the books!Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
I wasn't expecting the true Bathilda Bagshot too! Such a treat! :)
oooh! Nice start!I love Minerva's character and I am really looking forward reading a whole story centered on her :)
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Minerva, as you can see by the number of stories I've written about her!
Ah! The Kids' POV. It would have to be Hermoine--none of the others are observant or discreet enough. Yes, Hermione, even old fogeys can be in love, and real love doesn't mind flaws... It would be interesting for Molly and Hermoine to discuss Alastor and Minerva during cooking lessons sometime. What would the kids say if they knew that Miinerva's married name was MacNair?Speaking of that, will we get to see Malcom, or Minerva's grandkids? Malcolm is still one of my all-time favorite OC's.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, Hermione, of course. And I'm glad you picked up on the parallel between Molly and Hermione, and their observations of McGonagall/Moody. It would be an interesting conversation, all right!We may get a glimpse of Malcolm and his brood soon.Stay tuned. It won't be such a long wait as last time!
Oh my!!! <Happy dance!>. I am so thrilled to see this! I'll have to go back and re-read it all. I cheated and just re-read the end of the last chapter to remind myself where we are. It was interesting to see the meeting of the reconstituted OOtP, and to see the discussion about using Sirius' house as headquarters. I also liked the discussion re:Umbridge. I never thought Dumbledore or Minerva were completely oblivious to what Fudge was up to there, but Harry's POV always seemed to suggest that. I was glad to see that Alastor is still with Minerva, too.Now to chapter 42!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for your patience, LOL!I had to go back and reread myself before I finished the chapter.No,I don't think the grownups are nearly as gormless as the kids seem to think they are. You know how teenagers are.
I had to look twice in my inbox when the notice came in that this piece had been updated. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I thought to go back and reread before reading this update, but didn't have the time, and it was interesting to see all the order members, as well as the kids, in this chapter. My favorite bit was when Alastor was gruffing about Tonks refusal to fly into the clouds, and the assumption that Moody would have them fly to Wales and back to throw off a tail.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Updated at last.Glad you enjoyed Alastor being Alastor!More soon, I hope.
I had to look twice in my inbox when the notice came in that this piece had been updated. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I thought to go back and reread before reading this update, but didn't have the time, and it was interesting to see all the order members, as well as the kids, in this chapter. My favorite bit was when Alastor was gruffing about Tonks refusal to fly into the clouds, and the assumption that Moody would have them fly to Wales and back to throw off a tail.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, believe it or not, I'm trying to finish this sucker. I had to go back and read before I wrote it!It was fun to write a bit of Tonks--someone I never wrote before.Hopefully, there will be more before too long.
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I'm excited! I might go back and reread everything now that you're active again.
......worshipping every inch of her...Oh God, you made me cry. Love's plaint- keening softly after that break-up that hurts. god, haven't we tried it sometimes.. how well written, like a straight needle you don't see in the text, Oh why isn't forgiveness easier to get and give. Those two proud people. Why did Minervagive up on him.? Doesn't she know he loves her?
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Sorry to have made you cry ;-) I think Minerva's earlier experiences have made her leery of difficult relationships. We'll have to see how they end up!
This is gripping, fabulous. I agree, there shouild be many more reviews, I adored the quick knowledgeable vistas into student life in Paris - more of these, if possible.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Again, sorry to be so late in responding (am just catching up after a crushing work season!)Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed the Paris scenes!
First off, thanks so much for the update! I've been in the mood for HP fanfiction lately, but if I (start to) read one more story that turns out to be focused on evil!Dumbledore I may swear off forever. It's quite depressing.This was up to your usual high standards. The look inside Alastor's head when he was trying to convince himself that it was really Minerva outside his door (and even after he let her in) was both believable and heart-breaking. If Minerva is determined to salvage their relationship she has some hard work ahead of her.I liked how Minerva didn't let Alastor chase her away, and how she subjected Albus to the same spells Alastor used on her -- and that Albus let her. I also liked that they convinced him to stay. He will be needed. I really liked Minerva's POV, how she tried to think only of helping Alastor, and making him comfortable. The last bit was good too.
“I don’t think there’s much I’d mind tonight.”It was perhaps a terrible thing to say, given everything that had transpired, but it was the truth. She’d think about the Dark Lord and Cedric Diggory and everything else tomorrow. Tonight, there was only the fact that Alastor still lived.Sometimes when things are bad, you have to focus only on the good things, or you just can't handle it. We know she's going to do her part (and if you continue this through DH she has a very rough patch coming) so it's good to see her at least get a good nights sleep.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks.It was time to give Minerva and Alastor a bit of a break from the angst. They've been through a lot!Glad you enjoyed it.
You have outdone yourself. Again. I always enjoy seeing canon events from another POV, and I always enjoy Minerva's, but this is special, even so.First though, I loved seeing that Alastor still had some fight left, even after everything he's been through, and the glimpse we get here is just horrifying. But I was also very glad to learn that he's realized how much he screwed up with Minerva, and is even willing to admit it. I hope he stays willing...Minerva's thoughts about Harry were great. No, she probably wouldn't admit she favored him, and no, logical thinking really isn't his strong suite. I thought your description of Dumbledore in shock was probably quite accurate too. He had to have taken some time to assimilate everything, he's only human, after all. I was a little surprised to see how quick Severus was on the uptake, but then I realized that he knew something was up even before Harry returned -- he felt the mark burn when Voldemort called the Deatheaters from the graveyard, after all.I loved seeing Minerva's version of the Kiss, and her rant at Fudge was absolutely awesome.Then there's this:
"Alastor, it's Minerva.""Minerva?"His voice was thin and creaky, and the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard."Here I am, love," she said...."Alastor?""Hmm?""Are you-- are you all right?"It was a stupid question, but he didn't seem to mind. He grinned like a man drunk."Never better." He lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the light and looked up at her. "Jaysus, but you're beautiful."She let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob.Awwwww.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for the lovely comments.Glad you caught the bit about Severus. I think some people were confused by that!Best,Squibstress
So tickled to see this updated! I'm also quite thankful that Barty hasn't caught on that Minerva and Alastor had a thing together. Thank goodness for small favors, eh? He could really destroy her if he did. Oh dear, I hope I haven't given you any ideas ...
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I'm really trying to get moving on this story.Ideas... ideas...
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I also like how you contrasted real Alastor with impostor Alastor - aka Barty ... its quite a difference but similar enough to fool even some of his closest friends.I think I would like to see some of what our dear Alastor is thinking down in that trunk, but of course I am not trying to persuade you or anything.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I'm so glad that worked for you, because it was a connundrum. In canon, JKR made Crouch sound so much like Moody that of course, no one twigged to the difference. I didn't want to do that, but there was a fine line between making him too much and too little like the real Alastor.Have you read Selmak's "The Steadfast Tin Soldier"? (It's on FFN.) She did a fabulous (and disturbing) job of imaginging what it would have been like for him in that trunk.(And it's a lovely bit of AM/MM.)
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
Well then ... I suppose I'll just have to do that. In addition, as you probably already know, White Eyebrow also did a great job with his Moody in the trunk bit ... Alastor has been on my mind quite a lot these past few weeks ... with the new knowledge that I have of the surname ... who would have ever thought. All the more reason to love Alastor.
*groans* And again ... I forgot ... Well ... misclicked.
Oh ... forgot to hit the button for notification if you respond ...
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I do that all the time.I also forget where I've left my car keys, my car, my glasses...
Well ... the last line surely took me by surprise ... way to advance time by leaps and bounds!Its been awhile since I've delved into your work, and Slant in particular ... I had to reread a few things and still others have me scratching my head .... "Frogs?" ... but anyway ... Alastor's stubborn idiocy is quite perfect really ... well parallelled to Albus' inability to allow himself to be loved ... seems they have both fallen - or dove - into that fortress of solitude.Your work is amazing, as always.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Tee, hee.Yeah, now that the business between Albus and Malcolm has been dealt with, I thought I should get start getting on with Minerva and Alastor."Frog" is a somewhat pejorative term for French person. (Alastor is not overly fond of the French.)Poor Minerva. The men in her life are somewhat foolish about love, aren't they?Thanks for sticking with the story, despite my eratic updates.
Woohoo! An update!I was happy to see Malcom and Eliane's marriage, and that the revelations about the past haven't hurt his relationship with his mother -- or his fathers. Minerva certainly seemed more relaxed than we've seen her in a while. The last sentence was a bit startling. It was good to see that Malcom will make her a grandmother, but I do hope that we see her again before then!I was sorry, but not surprised, to see Alastor continue his downward slide into paranoia. Since this is adhering to book canon (my least favorite thing about the story), his relationship with Minerva has to be distant enough for her to not suspect Crouch when the time comes, and any reconciliation between them would negate that.I'm not sure what to think about Albus. If he is unable to love, it appears to me to be because he has chosen to harden himself (with his 'iron will'), rather than it being his natural state. It's as though he fears love, or maybe what he might be capable of doing for love? In his thoughts he seemed almost relieved that he didn't feel like a father to Malcom. His reaction to the wedding was surprising, to say the least. It certainly didn't seem as though there was any happiness or joy in his tryst with Malquin, nor did it seem as though either of them expected there to be, so I have to wonder exactly what he was seeking -- a form of oblivion or denial, perhaps? I do wonder what might break through his facade (and I do think it is a facade, but then I've always liked Dumbledore, flaws and all). Anyway, it was great to be able to read this, and I hope you will be able to update again soon!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks for reading and reviewing.Sorry about the canon-compliance--it's just ingrained in me, I think--but there may be some more surprises.Whenever I write Albus I always have to confront what I see as the complications canon throws in my way. I love him, but he does some really awful things to people he supposedly cares for, so I suppose these fics are my way of trying to work that out. In this fic, whether or not he's actually capable of love is up to the reader.Sorry too about the long interval. RL has thrown me a few curves, but I hope to get back to a more regular pattern of updates.Thanks for sticking with the story.
Response from dsky (Reviewer)
RL has a way of doing that.I am usually fairly rigid about canon myself. No matter how much I like a story, there's a little voice in the back of my head whispering 'but, but, but... that's not what/how it happened'. With HP though, there are so many conflicts, between the books, and interviews, and quasi-official websites, and Pottermore, that the only way to shut the voice up was to decide that only what's printed in PS/SS thru DH is canon. But it is all out there, and I can't un-know it, so I eventually decided, OK, if there are that many versions of the truth, I'll just pick the one(s!) I like best! (Everyone else does.) It lets me enjoy the RAMverse too, so that's all good.As far as Dumbledore is concerned, a lot of the negative things we learned were slanted through Rita Skeeter's pen, or his brother, or other people who didn't like him. He asked people to do a lot, but we're only privy to a miniscule part of whatever conversations went on, and he was the only general in a war with the future of the entire world at stake. He willingly died for it. People seem willing to give Snape a lot bigger break than they give Dumbledore, maybe because Snape turned out to be better than they thought (or maybe because Alan Rickman is so fantastic).I admit to only having read DH twice, and both of those a long time ago, so there may be some details I've forgotten, but I'm quite happy without them. I do love the universe though, especially the adults, and especially as expanded upon by FF writers. I can only take the kids in small doses, though. I do thank you for hours of entertainment, and your take on the characters and the universe is always entertaining.
*snip*
The door to Minerva's quarters banged open, and she swept through, dropping her bag on the table as she made a beeline for the liquor cabinet to pour herself two fingers of Cardhu. But she couldn't enjoy it; she was still too angry. She'd kept her temper in check all afternoon, but now it threatened to erupt full force and needed an outlet. She yanked her wand out of its pocket to point it at one of the cushions on her settee. It exploded in a riot of feathers, their indolent fluttering only stoking Minerva's ire. She Transfigured them into needles that hovered in the air, and imagined them pricking Sirius bloody Black until he screamed. Her fury was stemmed by the image but not scotched.I can go one better. She Transfigured the crimson velvet of the other cushion into a reasonable approximation of Black's too-handsome face, then sent the needles hurtling through the air to embed themselves in the cushion-cum-portrait. Black's fuzzy smirk changed to a silent scream of horror. The effort involved in the magic she'd just performed served its purpose, and she felt calm enough to have her drink.
*snip*
Holy CRAP! *dashes out of the room to avoid Minerva Wrath!*
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
I think you have painted Black and Potter EXACTLY how I saw them from the books ... EXACTLY! I can so relate to Minerva's anger now .... those MORONS!
OH and ...
*snip*
"Everything all right, lamb?" He looked up from contemplating his dish. "Sure. Why?" "You didn't eat much dinner, and now you've barely touched your cream-crowdie. When you've lost your sweet tooth, I know something's wrong."
*snip*
*grins* Daddy's boy, eh? I love eeet!
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*snip*
"Oh, Malcolm—" "How could he have no idea that you might end up pregnant if he slept with you? Was he a complete fool, or just a randy bastard?" "Don't you dare!" she shouted, and Malcolm recoiled as if he'd been slapped. "Mum—" "No, you have no right to judge him! I lied to him, and I used him, used our friendship. And he forgave me, even though I believe it nearly killed him to find that he had a son he couldn't raise. He wasn't— Malcolm?" He had taken two staggering steps backward and clapped a hand over his mouth.
*snip*
See there - see that right there? See this is why you are brilliant. You showed us HOW Malcolm figured it out ... you show us how brilliant Malcolm is ... see, you could have just said it, but how dull that would be, but you SHOW us ... Malcolm figures out who his father is BY his mother's reaction! Who is she loyal to a fault to ... who is she absolutely devoted to, without being in a romantic relationship? Yeah ... brilliant.
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*snip*
"Malcolm, wait, please." Her tone stopped him. "What?" "Come sit down. I have something else to tell you."
*snip*
ARG! The only thing I can think of is ... um the rat incident ... but ARG! Cliffhangers are not KIND!
Response from Fishy (Reviewer)
*taps foot* If I am going to submit these silly reviews, I bloody well expect you to at least read them! *snort*
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
My first response was "????" But then I saw that you submitted the review in July. Don't know why I didn't see them then, but a million apologies!I can't take total credit for the Marauders; the incident I alluded to was something JKR wrote as a fundraiser. (But Minerva's reaction is all my own, LOL!)Yes, I think Malcolm is pretty clever, like his parents.Thanks for the kind words!
*snip*
Malcolm didn't say anything, and Alastor prodded him. "Answer my question. Do you want kids?"
"What I want or don't want doesn't come into it. I can't have children."
*snip*
Now that sounds just like someone else we both know ... perfect really, Malcolm does seem to resemble his father more than his mother, the way you wrote him, and ironically, he doesn't even know his father yet.
*snip*
He didn't see. He didn't see at all, and that was fine by Alastor. It was better that way. Better Malcolm should think it was animosity rather than fear. He and Minerva didn't need to be lumbered with a useless old cripple who was prone to hearing things that weren't there. They both had better things to do.
Malcolm said, "She only wants to help. She cares about you."
"Don't need her help."
It sounded harsh and ungrateful, and it was. He was suddenly angry, and he couldn't be grateful that a woman who once loved him now felt sorry enough for him to spend her precious summer days caring for the gimp he'd become.
*snip*
Pride is a terrible emotion that does nothing but isolate us from those that care about us as well as cause us to put ourselves on pedestals, and we all know there is only one way down from a pedestal.
*snip*
She had a word—several words—and by the time she finished, all traces of Spleen's smile had evaporated, and he was stammering apologies and nodding his head in vigorous agreement when she told him that she expected to hear that Senior Auror Alastor Moody had received nothing but the most respectful and compassionate treatment, lest Spleen find himself answering to her, to Malcolm, and to Albus Dumbledore, Auror Moody's dear friend.
*snip*
I like this bit ... Minerva couldn't just say 'my family' but that's what she means ... which again causes me to wonder ... now that Malcolm knows - well in the next chappie anyway ... will he change his name ... I wouldn't think to Dumbledore or Albus would probably have a cow, but to McGonagall, I'd think that would be appropriate.
Spleen reminds me of a nurse I had when I busted my head open as a kid. He was so nasty to me. You do a very good job of making him absolutely awful. I so hate false concern and congeniality.
And I can see Alastor being a royal pain of a patient. *nods* I think that fits. No cooperation on his part what so ever. Much as I love him, I think I'd have to smack him here.
Did I mention that your work was brilliant? OH I did? OK well never mind then *whistles*
Shit. You are an evil, evil woman. I hate cliffhangers.
Malcolm took it much better than I thought he would, but then, in a way, he's been facing the same choice, so he should understand. And he's thoughtful, and intelligent, and... did I mention that I like Malcolm? I hope he takes the next bit half as well.
When she didn't respond, he continued. "How many mad Macnairs do you think I'd father? One? Two? How many is too many?"
There was a roaring in her ears, and her belly attempted to turn over.
Not now.
Somehow, she'd convinced herself that Malcolm wouldn't see things the way she had done as a young woman faced with the same dilemma. That worry had been packed away with the last of her wedding silver and Gerald's clothes when she'd fled the horrors of her marriage for the promise of new freedom in her native land. She realised now that her unwillingness to admit the seriousness of Malcolm's feelings for Eliane Giroux had perhaps been another way of avoiding the issue.
Well said. It's frightening sometimes, how easy it can be to convince ourselves that what we want to be true, is true, and it takes a major setback for us to re-examine our beliefs.
A familiar anger gripped her, and she crossed her arms tightly around her body. What did her son--or any of her students--know of difficult choices? They, who had been born into a post-Grindelwald world, with freedoms they enjoyed without understanding how much it had cost. And now there was another war because of it, because so many people failed to understand that, yes, constant vigilance was required to keep those hard-won freedoms for everyone, witch and wizard, pure-blood and Muggle-born.
Well said again, and true about so many things.
"How could he have no idea that you might end up pregnant if he slept with you? Was he a complete fool, or just a randy bastard?"
"Don't you dare!" she shouted, and Malcolm recoiled as if he'd been slapped.
"Mum--
"No, you have no right to judge him! I lied to him, and I used him, used our friendship. And he forgave me, even though I believe it nearly killed him to find that he had a son he couldn't raise. He wasn't-- Malcolm?"
He had taken two staggering steps backward and clapped a hand over his mouth.
I loved this. How quickly she rose to Albus' defense, and how quickly Malcolm figured out who it was when she did.
I liked the bit at the beginning too -- about how immature James and Sirius were, and how she channeled her anger. I always thought the Marauders went from prats to saints a little too quickly. At least here you show that it took a little time.
Well done once again. I've been anticipating this chapter since almost the beginning of the story, and I was not disappointed. I think I could have quoted the whole thing. I love Minerva and Malcolm together, and I liked seeing things from Minerva's POV. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I truly didn't intend for this to be a cliffie, but the chapter was getting long.I think it helped that Minerva's news meant Malcolm could follow his heart. I'm glad this chapter met expectations. I've been thinking about it since I first conceived this story (pun intended), although I didn't think it would take me quite so long to get here!The opening bit about James and Sirius was inspired by a 500-word story JKR wrote to benefit EnglishPEN, so I used it for my nefarious purposes. I think they were abominably immature and cocky, which I can only imagine drove Minerva to drink, LOL!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
I truly didn't intend for this to be a cliffie, but the chapter was getting long.I think it helped that Minerva's news meant Malcolm could follow his heart. I'm glad this chapter met expectations. I've been thinking about it since I first conceived this story (pun intended), although I didn't think it would take me quite so long to get here!The opening bit about James and Sirius was inspired by a 500-word story JKR wrote to benefit EnglishPEN, so I used it for my nefarious purposes. I think they were abominably immature and cocky, which I can only imagine drove Minerva to drink, LOL!
Whew! Alastor just can't catch a break, can he? This section:
There was no such diffidence with this one. Alastor was being pulled forcefully in a direction he was sure he didn't care to go.There was no air, and it was fast becoming a question of who'd pass out first.
I'm god damned if it'll be me.
His consciousness was funnelling away. Alastor marshalled his last bit of magical energy and concentrated on a single stone in the floor of the Ministry cell--the one with the scorch mark where a supposedly Petrified collar had surprised him by firing a wordless curse--just that stone and nothing else.
There was a burst of light, and his chest expanded. At the same moment, his back hit something hard enough that if he'd had any air left in his lungs, it would have been knocked out of him. Something warm and wet was on top of him, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the Death Eater's eyes only millimetres from his. They were lifeless and staring.
is just outstanding. I really feel and see the whole sequence.
I loved seeing Malcolm again, all grown up and still with Eliane. I loved that he stepped up and became the 'adult' to comfort Minerva when she needed it. I had wondered about his reaction to the breakup, Alastor really was more a father to him than anyone else. (She obviously hasn't told him Albus is his father. Not that I'm surprised by that.) I'd guess Minerva told Malcolm about the break-up the way she did because she didn't know what else to say -- they broke up in September, and she just wrote a short note at the end of a letter in October? It was probably as hard for her to write it as it was for him to read it. And three years on, clearly she still loves Alastor, but I don't think either of them could change enough to make it work between them long-term.
As much as I love Malcolm, I always get a sense of foreboding when he is around, probably because I'm afraid you're going to up the ante on the angst, and he's Minerva's real weakness. He's also probably my favorite OC in any story I've read. He's just so real, and you've done a wonderful job of getting inside his head as he's grown-up, giving him age-appropriate reactions and thoughts. That and he seems like a thoroughly decent guy.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yeah, this is sort of the "abuse Alastor" section of the story.I'm so glad you enjoy Malcolm! He is Minerva's greatest weakness, as you say, and they do have some unfinished business, so there will be a bit more of him.
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yeah, this is sort of the "abuse Alastor" section of the story.I'm so glad you enjoy Malcolm! He is Minerva's greatest weakness, as you say, and they do have some unfinished business, so there will be a bit more of him.
I adore this version of Alastor so much that it really hurts to see him becoming a lonely, suspicious drunk. Which is probably a compliment to your writing, but it still makes me sad!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Alastor too. We always hurt the one we love. At least, writers do. I strongly suspect we're all secret sadists.Thanks for reading and commenting!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Thanks. I love Alastor too. We always hurt the one we love. At least, writers do. I strongly suspect we're all secret sadists.Thanks for reading and commenting!
An update! An update! [Happy Dance]
Oh, how sad! She's keeping things from him to avoid the arguments, and he's setting tests for her to make her prove she cares, and lashing out to get some reaction, and after Gerald she doesn't have it in her to sustain that kind of relationship, and it's all going downhill, and they're just making each other unhappy -- and it's just too, too, sad.
She found she didn't really want to know, and it shamed her.And
Despite the water she'd just had, her mouth was dry again, and the creeping sensation of guilt picked at her chest.
And
She said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry. I was--
And
"And you didn't trust me?"
"Should I?"
Minerva has enough guilt over Malcom's conception and what she did to Gerald. She doesn't need manufactured guilt because she's trying to avoid conflict with Alastor because he can't accept her choices. He's right too, about how very, very dangerous it is, but he's handling it all wrong, and he's so close to the edge psychologically that after dealing with Gerald and his father, she can't handle it in Alastor too, but she's the only thing keeping him grounded, tenuous as it is... It's hard to see him spiraling out of control. Thank goodness for Kingsley.
As always, you make me empathize with everyone. I wonder how well Minerva is handling it?
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, finally an update! I was sorry to do it with such a morose chapter, but them's the breaks.Yes, it's a guilt-and-misunderstanding fest all around.Thanks for reviewing!
Response from Squibstress (Author of A Slant-Told Tale)
Yes, finally an update! I was sorry to do it with such a morose chapter, but them's the breaks.Yes, it's a guilt-and-misunderstanding fest all around.Thanks for reviewing!
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