Chapter 4

Snape's tone brooked no resistance. Hermione thought, This is it, and rose from the chair to approach him where he stood, unsteady on her feet, as though standing on the deck of a ship in rolling seas. Snape rested his hands on her shoulders, looking at her with an expression she could not read. She opened her mouth and began to say, "Sir," but then he was upon her. He pressed one hand against the small of her back, pulling her close; the other hand held the back of her head, his fingers wound through her curls. His kiss was long and searching, almost violent. Hermione pushed back against his chest reflexively at first, but he only pulled her in closer, holding her to him, and she stopped resisting. You are kissing Professor Snape, she thought. And then, No, Professor Snape is kissing me.

Her mind flashed to Ron's fumbling attempts, but only for a moment before her attention turned back to her Potions professor and what he was doing. She could feel the outline of Snape's long, lean body pressed against her, could feel his hands on her body and in her hair. Without intending to, she let her body relax into his, let herself kiss him back. It just felt so… No. She would not allow herself to admit that. It was not, strictly, bad; that is all she would allow.

Snape found to his intense surprise that the woman in his arms was pressing herself tightly against him and was--yes--kissing him in return. Women do not kiss me voluntarily. She is making the best out of a situation that has been forced on her. But he would extract every ounce of enjoyment from this opportunity while it lasted. He wound his fingers more tightly through her curls, eliciting a moan, and drew her body even closer. He could feel her heart beating and her hands tracing delicately down his back. Gods, woman, what are you doing? With faint horror, he felt his prick stiffen slightly in response.

When at last he pulled away from her, she looked no less surprised than he felt. She met his eyes for a long, half-dazed moment before realizing what she was doing and looking away again hurriedly. Snape was the first to break the silence. He asked roughly, "Do you believe that will satisfy the first condition?"

She had trouble finding her voice, but managed, "Yes, Professor." He noted her flushed cheeks as well as his own elevated heart rate. What the hell just happened?

"Miss Granger, indulge me for a moment."

They had disengaged from the embrace, but remained within arm's reach. Both studiously avoided looking at the other.

"Professor?" Hermione swallowed hard, trying to sort through what had just happened. During the hours she had stood Petrified in his office, she had played the scenario of the kiss out in her mind dozens of times. She had thought that perhaps he might refuse to do it at all, which would have been rather a relief, or that he might do it quickly and harshly, as that seemed in keeping with his character. She had not--could not have, could never have--envisioned that. He thought of her as an ugly, buck-toothed Mudblood. If she had learned anything in her years at Hogwarts, she'd learned that. But he wouldn't have kissed an ugly Mudblood that way… would he?

Perhaps that was his way of mocking her after all, all the more devastating for its subtlety. That did seem more Snape-like. But she thought of his fingers wrapped through her hair and his arms pulling her close, and she wondered.

His voice interrupted her thoughts. "Tell me the identity of the Death Eater that cursed you."

Hermione nodded. Maybe the kiss had been enough. She took a deep breath and braced herself. "It was," she began, but then pain struck her, sharp and excruciating, causing her to cry out and double over. Snape reached out to support her, and she shook her head violently. "No! Let me try again!" He nodded silently and stepped back. She opened her mouth again, and this time managed to get out the first sound, "B..." This dissolved into a moan of agony, and her body shivered with convulsions. It looked remarkably similar to the effects of Cruciatus, something that Snape was all too familiar with. This time he did reach out to steady her, with one hand on each of her elbows.

"Thank you, Miss Granger. I believe that is enough."

She looked up at him, breathing raggedly, and said, "I'm sorry, Professor. I tried."

She expected some mockery from him, but he only said, "Yes. It was worth the attempt," and withdrew his touch.

After a too-long silence, Hermione was the first to speak. She closed her eyes because she could not stand to look at her Potions professor while she asked him this, and in a small, tight voice, she said, "Professor Snape... are we really going to do this?" Please, I can't bear it if you mock me for this.

But he said only, "It would seem that we are." She nodded tightly in response.

"Then I have to tell you one more thing," she said.

He said, "Miss Granger," but she opened her eyes and looked at him with a trembling jaw and said, "No, let me finish! I'm only going to have the courage to say this once."

He inclined his head in assent, waiting for her.

"Professor Snape, I... I've never... I've never done this before. I don't know how. So it might not... might not work." Her face was flame-bright with embarrassment.

Interesting. I suppose there's no N.E.W.T. on this topic.

"Then, Miss Granger, I will teach you."