Chapter Thirty

I couldn't stop shivering, as though I would never feel warm again. Every time I thought it had stopped, it began again, running through me like a river in spate, until I found myself clutching the white stone for some sort of comfort. I had sipped at the dark, suspiciously-scented tea that Ethel had produced, as she went about dressing my injuries and setting my bones, and Black and Lucius sat at either end of the kitchen table, sending waves of hostility and accusation at one another.

'It's not his fault,' I repeated to Lucius. 'Black could hardly be expected to baby-sit me when he had much more important things to do. That apart, I should have raised the wards when he left.'

'Nothing was more important,' Lucius snapped back.

'Who's with him now?' I asked Black, turning from Lucius's anger. It wasn't my place to give Lupin's secret away, but I suspected that Black would then.

'With whom?' Lucius demanded, before Sirius got the chance to make any reply.

'Minerva,' Black replied, ignoring Lucius too. 'Dumbledore sent for James when Minerva went up to get me, and she's going to wait with him until James arrives.'

'With whom?' Lucius repeated.

'Have you taken Lucretia and Narcissa to safety?' I asked Lucius, although I knew the answer, in some sort of attempt to distract him.

'Of course I have,' he snarled back. 'Andromeda too. Some of us take our responsibilities seriously.'

'Speaking of Andromeda,' I remarked blandly. 'Had you not seen fit to mention her name in the message you sent me, the one that Riddle read instead of me...' I didn't get the chance to finish, as Black seized on the remark as though it were an unexpected lifeline.

'He what?' he bellowed, standing from his place, and moving to the other end of table. He grabbed Lucius's cravat, as though he were about to choke the life out of him, and swung a punch at him instead, one that connected with the Malfoy jaw in the same way as Lucius's fist had connected with Sirius's.

'I think you're even now,' Ethel said with mild reproach. 'Now sit back down and behave, dears. We have more important matters to discuss than misplaced blame.'

They were suitably chided, although Lucius still had another dig, one I found I could hardly blame him for. 'You know, I would find it much easier to trust you both, if you were to extend me the same courtesy,' he said.

'He's right, dears,' Ethel replied, to Black and me this time, in both of our stead. 'You are being a little bit unfair.'

*****

Unsurprisingly, I suppose, the thought of trying to bluff Tom Riddle by brewing a fake elixir of life in Aqua Vitae seemed to frighten Lucius. I could hardly blame him there either; it frightened me too. It was the other secret, the one about Lupin, that really got a reaction though.

'A werewolf?' he repeated for about the tenth time. 'A real werewolf?'

'Stop saying that, Lucius,' Black remarked. 'It's becoming boring.'

'Werewolves are many things, Black; boring is not one of them,' I said, 'the fact that Remus Lupin is one, notwithstanding.'

He shot me a hard look, one that I ignored as I felt yet another tremor run through me, leaving me feeling sick and sweaty, and I found myself clutching the stone in my pocket again, the one I never intended to leave a room without, not ever again.

'As Ethel said, we have more important things to discuss,' I said. 'Riddle's plans for us, being the most important.'

To give them their due they had set aside their hostility, perhaps in the way that only the open show of aggression between them could have precipitated; in that way it hadn't had room or time to fester. They sat back listening, as Ethel fussed about the stove, humming to herself, occasionally bringing delicious little savoury delicacies over to the table that I doubted even had names. I tried to stop myself glancing at her every few seconds, as though she would disappear, and tried to remind myself that I couldn't have killed anyone who was already dead, far less Ethel, and that I had known and fully understood that when I had aimed that dreadful curse at her, and none of it helped me a bit.

I told Black and Lucius everything I remembered of what Riddle had told me, everything I had managed to take in. It was his immediate plan to pull the rug from under Cygnus Black's feet and propose Lucius as Minister of Magic, Barty Crouch Senior having expressed no desire for the post. 'Propose is a euphemism for demand, of course,' I said, as Black sat up straight from where he had been slouching over the table, and Lucius looked somewhat pleased with himself, for just a moment though.

'That would mean I would have to go into the Ministry,' he said with a rather pained expression. 'Every day.'

'That's a bummer when you don't get out of your bed until lunchtime, isn't it?' Black grunted.

'I think things could work very well to our advantage,' I said, ignoring both of their input, 'if we are very careful.'

Black looked thoughtful. 'I think Severus is right,' he said grudgingly to Lucius. 'You could keep an eye on Riddle's doings in the Ministry, particularly Barty Crouch the younger,' he said. 'That just leaves us with the problem of who's keeping an eye on you.'

'You are, Black,' I said as Malfoy's nostrils flared in anger. 'I forgot to say that you were mentioned in dispatches as being the one to keep the rest of the Blacks in check, without stepping on anyone's toes. Riddle seems to feel that your having a position in Ministry, and keeping it in the family, will soften the blow.'

'He obviously doesn't know my family,' Sirius said sourly, and I'm not sure whether watching the Blacks or playing second fiddle to Lucius Malfoy was more distasteful to him.

'He also wants another of his parties organised. One of his rallies,' I went on with some measure of disgust. 'Here, of course. I suspect it is his intention to announce his plans at that gathering.'

'Good,' Lucius said, with what I thought was a rather dangerous smile. 'I have one or two little announcements to make myself.'

Black gave him a long look that I didn't much like the look of, and then a rather evil grin that I liked even less.

'Please don't become inventive, Lucius,' I said. 'Nor you, Black. Neither of you have the mental capacity to carry it off.'

*****

I went to bed not long after that; I was tired and mentally exhausted, and terrified of whatever self-examination I was about to submit myself to. I stripped warily, leaving my shirt to last, as had by then become my habit, as though taking advantage of every last second that the Dark Mark was concealed. It was benign though, almost as though it too had had a taxing day, and sought only rest, and I tried not to think of how I was allowing my own body to be its bower. I fell asleep almost immediately though, and woke only when I sensed something or someone in my room. I sat bolt upright, one hand clutching for the stone and the other for my wand, to discover the curtains being drawn by nothing more hostile than one of Lucius's uglier elves.

It was only after breakfast, once Sirius had left to go to see Dumbledore, and collect Lucretia and Narcissa, that Lucius told me what he had arranged when he had been in Brighton, and I confess it came as a bit of a shock to me. Up until then the word "marriage" had been only that, a word to describe some vague event in the future, and Lucius had suddenly brought that future down to two weeks thence. He had arranged for Nicolas Flamel to bring the required documents from France, along with a French wizarding magistrate who was empowered to conduct the necessary ceremony. I found it was hard to fault Lucius, apart from placing me in a corner I couldn't escape from. The old French magistrate had been a friend of Valerius, someone he had met on his travels, and as such, using him meant that Riddle would be unable to have his suspicions aroused by someone like Dumbledore conducting the ceremony, and would be unable to use his own spurious powers to officiate. All in all, it was a sound plan; in fact the only problem I had with it was the fact that at the end of the day, not only would Lucius be married to Narcissa, but I would be married too... to Lucretia Malfoy... until death us did part. It seemed like an awfully long time.

'Have you spoken to Cygnus?' I asked.

Lucius looked at me blankly, one of the few arts he had perfected. 'About what?' he asked.

'About the small matter of marrying his youngest daughter,' I replied, as though Lucius could not have been expected to work that much out for himself.

'Certainly not. I have nothing to say to Cygnus Black,' he said. 'Not just yet, anyway.' He looked away for a moment, and then turned to watch me carefully. 'Andromeda will be coming, Severus... for Narcissa,' he said. 'That is something you can handle, I trust?'

'What do you take me for?' I snapped. In truth, all the direct and oblique references to Andromeda that last day or so were beginning to take their toll on me, and I found myself bitterly regretting having allowed myself to be steered in anyone's direction but my own, something I knew would change once I saw Lucretia again. I knew it wasn't that I disliked her, far from it; in fact I was as fond of Lucretia as such a short acquaintance could merit. But I did resent her, perhaps not so much her, just anyone who stood between me and Andromeda, and although Andromeda was out of my reach, I felt that I had become proactive in placing yet another obstacle between us.

Lucius had just looked away again, and I wondered if he was having reservations about my marrying Lucretia too, when there was a tap on the drawing room door.

'A gentleman to see you, sir,' the elf said, bowing to me.

'Who?' I asked, shocked by the jolt of fear that ran through me, as I found the white stone in my hand.

'Mr Potter,' the elf said.

I groaned inwardly in what I refused to recognise as relief; I didn't really want to have another mental duel with Henry Potter though, but could think of no good reason for sending him away. 'Oh, very well,' I snapped, 'but let Mr Potter know that I only have a moment or two to spare.'

'Don't be so discourteous, Severus,' Lucius chided once the elf left, and I could see he was a bit put out that Henry Potter had come to see me, and not him, as though Potter's friendship with his father meant it was reasonable for Lucius to stake claim on his friendship too.

It was only when the elf arrived back at the door a few moments later that I felt my jaw drop in surprise, as Lucius, despite his criticism, spluttered as discourteous a welcome as I had heard.

'What the fuck are you doing here?' he snarled. 'Who the fuck let you in anyway?'

'Lucius,' James Potter said curtly, nodding to Malfoy before turning to me. 'Snape,' he added, as though mentioning our names were sufficient reply to be going on with.

'What on earth are you doing here, Potter?' I asked with little more grace than Lucius had shown.

'My father was with Dumbledore when Phineas Black's portrait told him that you were alone here with Tom Riddle, and were in trouble,' Potter replied. 'He asked me to come here once I was finished my other business of the day, to make sure that everything was all right.'

'And Lupin?' Lucius asked.

Potter gave him a wary look; one I suspected he didn't manage to arrest quickly enough.

'He knows,' I said. There was no point in playing silly games; I had enough of the lies and deceits when I was talking with Riddle anyway.

'Lupin is fine,' James replied. 'Do I take it that everything is all right here too? What's going on, Severus?' he asked, surprising me by using my given name without twisting it into some kind of insult. 'Why is my father suddenly so concerned about the goings on at Malfoy Manor that he sent me to see that you are safe?'

'Perhaps you should ask your father that,' Lucius answered for me.

'Oh, don't worry, I shall,' Potter replied, turning to the door. 'Thank you for the fabled Malfoy hospitality, although frankly I can't see much to write home about.'

I was about to let him go, and I could see that Lucius had already dismissed him in his mind, when a thought occurred to me. 'Tell me, Potter,' I said, 'why is it that one so vociferously against the Death Eaters and Riddle's teachings sees fit to hobnob with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior,' I asked, letting my eyebrow rise. 'Or perhaps you are going to claim that you do not know he is a Death Eater himself.'

'Of course I know,' he replied just as coolly. 'Why don't you curry favour in your way, Snape, and leave me to curry favour in mine? That way neither of us will step on one another's toes.'

I understood what he was saying: that neither one of us was going to back down, that each of us would do our watching in our own ways, that for all the hostility between us, there was no enmity.

'As you wish,' I said.

'Oh, one other thing,' he said, pausing with his hand on the door. 'Father said you should know that he has heard that there are to be some changes at the Ministry. He seemed to feel that you would understand that you should accept what is being mooted, and look upon it as an opportunity, instead of a demand. Does that make sense?'

'No,' I lied, 'but what the fuck has sense to do with anything?'

For just a moment he let the superiority drop, the Potter arrogance, and let a quick smile touch his lips; I don't know whether it was some sort of grudgingly subconscious acknowledgement of my own loyalties, but whatever it had been, I would have missed it had I blinked at the wrong moment. 'Fuck you, Snape,' he said, pulling the accustomed mantle back into place. 'You too, Malfoy.'

*****

The weddings, as weddings go, were private affairs, conducted in Lucius's drawing room. The only people present, apart from Lucius and Narcissa, and Lucretia and me, were Black, Ethel, the French magistrate, and Andromeda. Dumbledore had seemed a little put out that, not only was he not going to be invited to conduct the brief service, but he wasn't going to get a Malfoy Manor lunch either. For my part, I thought Lucius was being a little unfair to Narcissa, by not just pretending to make some sort of peace with Cygnus Black, and letting Narcissa enjoy the splendid affair it should have been, at least that was until I found out that it had been her specific wish that the whole thing be conducted in private.

I began to wonder just what made her so driven to deny her father any victory over her groom, that she in turn denied herself what would have been the fantasy of most witches of her age. She was marrying the wizarding world's most eligible bachelor, the man of her girlhood dreams, and no one even knew. In fact it was only when Andromeda pulled me aside that I finally understood the depths that Cygnus Black had stooped to.

'Ever since our mother died he abused her, Severus,' she said, nodding to where Narcissa stood chatting animatedly with Black and the magistrate. 'From when she was eleven years old.'

I shook my head in disgust, pushing down a cold knot of fury at what some men would do. 'At least she will be safe here,' I said, just managing not to say that if anyone knew about parental abuse, Lucius was the one.

'Yes, I suppose so. I didn't desert her, Severus,' she said, searching my face for some sort of understanding of what had not even occurred to me. 'I made sure she could defend herself before I left home, made sure she parried his attacks by threatening to tell her prospective husband, whoever he might be, that she was despoiled in the worst possible way.'

I thought about that for a moment, and how Narcissa had been so forthright in the proclamation of her virginity, and just what an accomplished liar she was. 'Lucius is in for a disappointment then,' I said. 'He is expecting her to be the virgin she claims to be.'

'Lucius has no such expectations,' Andromeda replied. 'Not now. And in some way I think it is a measure that he is a better man than I ever thought him to be, that he has not dropped Narcissa like the proverbial hot brick. But,' she said with a sigh, 'I wonder how long it will be before he tires of her and her girlish ways, and seeks pastures new. He is, after all, a known philanderer... a bit like his true father was, I believe.'

'But not a bad man for all that, Andromeda,' I said, unsurprised that she knew of Lucius and Lucretia's true sire; after all, they had had all day and most of the evening to fill in when they had all been at Flamel's house in Brighton.

'You've done well, Severus,' Andromeda said, changing direction, her eyebrow rising in something that might have been challenge, as she looked across to where Lucretia stood with Lucius. 'I hope you love her.'

I wanted to tell Andromeda that I loved only her, but that part of my tongue was tied.

She looked away for a moment, as though to check we were alone, and that Black wasn't standing eavesdropping as was his habit, before turning back to face me, and it was only then that I remembered something I should have remembered long before then. Dumbledore might have erased her memories of the time we had spent at Spinner's End, but he had never known about the conversation that Sirius had had with Andromeda on the night of the party at Malfoy Manor, the night that Sirius had told her I was in love with her. Andromeda put her hand on my arm and squeezed it, and it was all I could to not to gasp at her touch.

'Time and circumstance have been unkind to us. I do know you, Severus,' she said, and the regret in her voice tore my heart. 'And I know that you would have found it difficult to come to me without any encouragement on my part, but now at least, I hope you understand why I could not come to you. I could not leave her, not then, not when she was so young. And then later... well, then we had both gone our own ways, and it was too late.'

I nodded, unable even to meet her eyes, frightened to read what might test my resolve to breaking point. I saw Lucius across the room, exchanging a few seemingly anxious words with Black as he shot a look in my direction. He began to move away, towards where Andromeda and I stood, only to be pulled back by Lucretia, and I knew Lucretia fully understood, and that she would perhaps not be the wife I had longed for, but she would be a fitting wife for all that.

'Be happy,' I whispered, leaning across to kiss Andromeda's cheek. 'Be as happy as I would want you to be.' I moved away, towards where my bride was watching me, serene and beautiful, and assured of her own peculiar place in what passed for my affections, without waiting for Andromeda's reply.

*****