Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A full week had passed, and Hermione was surprised that she hadn't seen much of Severus Snape at all. She had been so busy with a mound of paperwork that only she could take care of that Hermione hadn't really had time to ponder on the elusive and sharp-tongued man. As studied her work, she didn't notice Severus slipping into his frame. He cleared his throat.

Hermione looked up, slightly amused that he would be clamoring for attention from her. She found, though, that when she looked behind her, he wasn't looking at her at all; he was peering into some book.

"Did you need something?" Hermione asked.

His gaze lazily moved to her. "No."

"You cleared your throat, I just thought..."

He looked back down at his book, effectively ignoring her. Hermione frowned at him. She then cleared her throat. He didn't look up. She gave an exasperated sigh and went back to her papers. She was drafting a letter to the Board of Governors to ask for more funding for new brooms for the Quidditch teams. The current brooms weren't in very bad shape, but according to Minerva's records, they hadn't been replaced in eight years. It was surely time.

Unfortunately, the words were blurring on the paper and the numbers seemed to melt into one another. Hermione realized she was squinting in frustration because of Snape's surly attitude. His diffidence made her unable to address the task at hand because all she could think of was his lack of respect toward her. Finally, unable to control herself, her head snapped up, and she turned to face his portrait.

"You know..." she began. "You could try to be a little nicer."

"No, I couldn't."

"Yes, you could."

"Make me."

Hermione's eyebrows drew together. "What did you just say?"

Snape leaned forward and looked directly at her. "I said... make me."

Hermione bristled. "You do realize you are a portrait? Your scowls and intimidation ploys do not have half the power they used to."

"Yes, but they do still have power, Hermione, don't they?" he asked sultrily.

Hermione felt a jolt run from her head to her toes. His tone sent shivers down her spine, and all he was doing was goading her. Her eyes narrowed.

"You forget, Severus, I have a wand, and you don't."

"That may be, but I am adept at wandless magic," he purred, sending another shiver down her spine.

Merlin, control yourself! she thought.

Pulling herself together, she narrowed her eyes at Severus even more.

"You will behave, or you will be sorry," she warned.

He scooted even further to the edge of his seat. "I will do as I wish," he sneered. "I am dead; I don't have to answer to anyone, especially a swot like you!"

Hermione stood, her hands balled into fists. "This is my office, sir, and you will respect me within its walls! Oratio innuo confuto!"

A bright blue light shot from her wand straight at Severus' chest. He was thrown back into his chair. After a second, he shot back to his original position.

"Why you r..." His mouth abruptly snapped shut. "You..." Again his mouth closed. His lips drew back into a sneer, showing his crooked teeth. "What have you done to me?"

She looked at him smugly. "It's just a little spell to ensure that you'll behave yourself when speaking to me."

He rose to his feet and slammed against the invisible wall that was his portrait. "Take it off!" he snarled.

She tilted her head. "No, I don't think I will."

With that, she turned and left her office.

"Granger!" Snape called after her. "Granger get back here and remove this spell, or I'll mmph..."

Hermione chuckled as she strolled away from her office. There was something incredibly satisfying in pulling one over on Severus Snape.

The Headmistress didn't stay away too long. Firstly, she had work to do; secondly, she wanted to see just what Severus Snape would say to her now that she'd left him to stew for a bit. Entering her office again, she glided to her chair and gave the portrait behind it a toothy grin.

Severus glared at her. "Remove this spell immediately, Professor Granger."

Hermione became serious. "I'm sorry, Severus; I'm not going to do that. You obviously don't like me, and as I said before, I will not have you badmouthing me in my own office." She turned and eyed Phineas Nigellus Black. "The same goes for you, Professor Black. No chants of Mudblood while I am the Headmistress, or you'll suffer the same fate as Professor Snape."

Black grunted and immediately left his frame. Dumbledore chuckled from his corner spot, which earned him a death-look from Severus. Turning back to Hermione, Severus scowled and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You are a mmph!" Severus said darkly.

Hermione couldn't help but giggle. He was trying so hard to be furious, but his inability to call her names was so comical.

"I'll remove the hex when you've proven that you won't be nasty," she told Severus.

"Mmph, Professor mmph Granger!"

Hermione shook her head. "I wish I had more time to devote to listening to you try to badmouth me, Severus, but I have much to do."

Turning her back on him, she sat down and continued with her paperwork. Silence reigned for some time with only the scratching of her quill against paper interrupting it.

"What are you working on?" Severus asked after a long while.

Hermione sat back and turned slightly so she could his portrait. "It's a financial report to the Board of Governors. I'm trying to convince them that new Quidditch brooms are a necessity for the children."

Severus huffed. "They will never go for that. The Board is incredibly stingy with Hogwarts funds. Despite the fact that most of them are Quidditch fanatics, they cannot justify the use of those funds for something non-academic like sports."

Hermione chewed on her quill. "That was twenty years ago, though. Do you think the current Board would still be so rigid with allotments?"

"Are the members of the Board well off?" Severus asked.

Hermione nodded. "Most are pure-bloods from long lines of wealth."

Severus looked down and met her eyes. "They don't keep their wealth by spending frivolously. They are all tightwads. You will need to have very good reasoning to convince them."

Hermione huffed and looked down at her paper. "I suppose that the fact that the old brooms are at least eight years old will not tug on their heartstrings."

Severus chuckled slightly, which caused Hermione to glance back up at him. She was sure it was the first time she'd ever heard the man laugh. The sound was rather nice.

"The Board does not have heartstrings. You must appeal to their pride."

"How do I do that?" Hermione asked, truly at a loss.

"How many have children or grandchildren attending here?"

Hermione thought for a moment. "They all do."

"There is the key."

Hermione grinned at him conspiratorially. "If their precious children are kept from winning because of old brooms, the students and their families will be embarrassed. The Board members represent all of the houses too, so one house could not have better equipment than another. Severus, that's brilliant!"

Turning quickly, Hermione took another parchment and began redrafting the letter to the Board of Governors. She missed entirely the startled look on Severus' face at her exclamation.

Severus sat under his tree, reading. He'd come to enjoy the landscape and the portrait had become his favorite place in the castle. It was peaceful, and despite the times when the hallway outside his painting was noisy with students, his surroundings seemed to keep out the extraneous noise so he could concentrate.

At this moment, his back was against the tree, and his legs were bent in front of him with the book propped up against them. There was a small stream toward the right end of the painting that emptied into the pond. The constant gurgle of the rushing water gave Severus a peaceful feeling. He glanced up with a smirk on his face as he watched the swans swim gracefully around the pond.

"There you are!" Hermione exclaimed. "I looked for you upstairs, but you were obviously not there. I wanted to tell you that the Board of Governors approved my petition for new brooms. I really have to thank you." She gazed into the painting, taking in the landscape. "You like this painting, don't you?"

Severus rolled his eyes at her, annoyed at the disturbance of his quiet time. "Obviously I like it, you mmph mmph!" He scowled at his inability to say what he really felt. Glaring at Hermione, he arched an eyebrow at her accusingly.

"Oh, no!" she warned. "There's no way I'm lifting that spell off you. Obviously you have no intention of being nice to me yet."

"That was only in your office!" he snapped.

Hermione shrugged. "The hex doesn't distinguish place, just attitude."

"You are an in... mmph! Blast it, woman, this is ridiculous."

Hermione nodded, her tone becoming very serious... sarcastically so.

"I know, Professor Snape. You'd think you'd be adult enough to not use foul language when speaking to me." She shrugged. "How old are you? Oh, yes, thirty-eight, right?"

Severus stood, knocking the book from his lap. He stalked around the pond so that he was at the edge of the picture. His fists were clenched, and he looked as if he were going to punch her.

"Who do you think you are, speaking to me like that?"

She looked him up and down. "I know who I am, Severus Snape. I am the Headmistress of this school, not some child who quakes in my boots whenever you look at me. I am a woman who is your age, and I deserve your respect. If you won't give it to me, then you'll be forced to through that spell. Now grow up!"

"I am not a child either! You needn't treat me as such!" Severus said tersely.

"When you start acting like an adult instead of a spoiled teenager, I'll think about lifting that spell."

Rage filled Severus. How dare she speak to him so. He felt his hands trembling.

"You know," she continued, oblivious to his increasing ire. "I thought that maybe your surly attitude was because of the war. I romanticized you into some sort of hero who was just playing a part, but I was wrong. You're nothing but a bastard!"

"Why you insol... mmph!" Rage filled him as he reached out toward her. He grasped her robes and pulled her up next to him, his nose touching hers.

"How dare you judge me?" he glowered.

Hermione's eyes went wide as she struggled to pull herself from his grasp. Severus looked around, noting exactly why she looked so terrified. She was right in front of him... in the painting.

A/N: Thanks to slytherinlaurel for the lickity-split beta job.