Hello

If I smile and don't believe

I'm not broken.

~ "Hello" by Evanescence

A burst of silvery mist shot out of Severus' wand and coalesced into the form of a life-size lioness. The lioness prowled across the floor and came to stand in front of me. I looked down at the magical animal and smiled. I watched as it slowly walked around me, rubbed its flanks against my legs, and then disappeared.

"That answers several questions," he said calmly as he sat back down on the edge of the bed.

I walked across the room and resumed my seat in the armchair.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Well, first I had been wondering if my magic suffered at all due to my experience in the shack. Next, I was curious to know if my Patronus' form would be different, considering recent revelations."

"And how are you feeling about the second?" I asked curiously.

"Perfectly content," he said as he reached out to hold my hand once more.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

He looked towards the small window and said, "I want to go outside."

My mind twisted over how we would pull off such a feat.

If we go out onto the Hogwarts grounds, someone will surely notice us and faint, or possibly something even worse. Unless...

"Severus, I'm sure you realize we can't just go for a stroll on the grounds while being visible. I don't want to just go to the Muggle world either, because you never know who could be out and about. So, the only solution I've got at this moment is for us to go out there Disillusioned," I stated.

"That sounds reasonable."

I stood from my chair and cast the charm on myself, and right before my eyes, Severus shimmered from view. As I turned towards the exit, I felt warm fingers lace through my own.

We quietly made our way through the valley of beds and crept past Poppy's office. When we finally reached the doors that led out onto the third floor, I couldn't stop myself from smirking.

I feel like I'm busting him out of prison... in a way I guess I am.

It was an adventure trying to get from the Infirmary and out the front doors of the school without being noticed. I knew I needed to stay Disillusioned though, since I didn't want to simply disappear suddenly. On the other hand, if I lifted the charm, I didn't want to look like I was outside talking to myself.

As soon as the autumn breeze touched our faces, my companion stopped walking. I couldn't see him; I could only assume that he was reveling in the feeling of actual fresh air. A few moments later we began walking in a companionable silence.

When we reached a safe distance from the school, I cast Muffliato non-verbally.

"Now that you've got your whole life ahead of you, what do you want to do?"

"Hermione, I had hoped I would have this opportunity, but right now it's all too much to try and comprehend. I'm sure in a few days I'll have an actual answer for you."

As we were walking along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, he said, "How do you feel about teaching Potions?"

I took a few moments to think about his question; I didn't want to natter on and irritate him.

I should just tell him the truth, but I really don't want to look like a mental case... This is all so confusing.

"You're very quiet, Hermione," he continued.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I'm just trying to formulate an accurate and concise answer that won't make me look crazy, is all."

"You aren't crazy, and I won't judge you, if that helps."

"I just know you can get impatient with things..."

"Yes, I can. But I'm anxious to hear about you, your life and what's happened in the last six years. I'm going to have to be patient and listen in order to catch up, am I not?"

Even though he couldn't see me, I nodded in response. I accepted his words and took a deep breath before finally answering him.

"I think I'll enjoy it more now. I really do like teaching, but I only decided to take up Potions as my course of study out of guilt. You were haunting me, and it seemed like the most logical path to take. After I completed all my training and Minerva asked me to finally relieve Professor Slughorn... well, I've been thinking about you all the time. Even before I found your journal, when I had moved into your old rooms, and took up residence in your old office, I wanted to reach out to you. I started teaching your old classes, imparting some of your knowledge onto these children, but wishing I could ask your advice on things or..."

"I see."

"Do you? I mean I know you never wanted to teach Potions..."

"Hermione, I'm sorry that you went through that level of torment for years due to the dreams. And this may sound selfish, but it's a relief to hear that someone cared about me enough to do everything you've done. I feel comfortable, I guess is the right word, knowing that you understand the guilt that I carried around regarding Lily and why I did everything I did."

"It is oddly poetic that our obsessive guilt ended up bringing us together... I'm so happy that I didn't let the opinions of my friends stop me."

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence, and I could tell that something I said had upset him.

"Who have you told about the journal?" he asked abruptly.

I was completely caught off guard by his brusque delivery, but still managed to formulate a coherent answer.

"Neville and Harry. Harry and I had a bit of a disagreement over whether or not you could actually still be alive, and he thought I was going crazy. In that time period, Neville was a very willing and supportive ear. In talking to him about the situation, I found that I was able to regain some focus."

"Potter and Longbottom... well, I'm at least pleased Weasley wasn't involved also," he said, sounding snide.

He appeared so sarcastic that I could feel myself getting angry. I knew the topic of my friends would be a sore subject, but things had been going so well between us that I had hoped it wouldn't be too bad.

I need to stop him from snapping on me like this over things I can't control...

"Severus, please stop," I ground out. "My friends and I aren't errant teenagers anymore, and I wasn't running about telling tales. I needed support and these two people especially are on your side. They wanted to help you, and ultimately us."

He was quiet for a while, and I could only assume that he was thinking. However, I wish that I could have seen the look on his face while processing what I had said.

After a few moments he finally spoke. "Hermione, this isn't going to be easy. It's going to take some time for me to... I've only trusted one person completely in my entire life, and you know how that turned out. I ..."

Before he could finish his thought, we were interrupted by a small Patronus in the shape of common house cat. I wasn't surprised in the least when the irritated voice of my former head of house could be heard from the cat.

"Professors, I need to see you in my office immediately," she said sternly.

How does that woman manage to make me feel like a firstie in just one sentence?

"I think we're in trouble," I commented, trying to lighten my own anxiety.

"I would have to agree."

"My office, now," were the cat's final words before disappearing.

I'm so glad I cast that Muffliato charm earlier...

"Shall we?" Severus said cordially.

"Are you ready for this? I don't know if Minerva will be the only one in that office by the time we get there."

"It needs to happen sooner or later. I'd prefer sooner for the sheer fact that I'd appreciate being able to walk in public without a Disillusionment Charm cloaking us."

"Okay, if you're sure," I said with heavy apprehension.

We promptly changed direction and headed back towards the school to face the highly irritated Headmistress.

After some careful maneuvering, Severus and I finally made it to the seventh floor and stood in front of the entrance to the Headmistress' office. I quietly spoke the password, and the gargoyle leapt to the side to admit us. As the gargoyle resealed the entrance, I removed my Disillusionment Charm and Severus followed my lead.

He doesn't look as okay with this as he led me to believe while we were outside.

I stepped in front of him and reached up to cover his cheek with my palm. My fingertips were grazing his cheek, gently trying to smooth the anxiety lines that were gathering around his eyes.

"Severus, I could always tell her it's too soon. You... you need some time to acclimate yourself... I..."

"Stop, Hermione. I appreciate your concern, but I'm not completely broken," he said as he lifted his hand to cover my own.

"I didn't say that you were. I'm just... okay, you're right."

He gave me a small smile for my concern, and we broke apart. We stepped up to the spiral staircase and rode to the top in silence. When we reached the landing, I gently knocked on the Headmistress' door.

"Come in."

Severus and I entered Minerva's office to find her standing behind her desk. When her eyes locked onto Severus', she gripped the edge of her desk for support. I watched as the strength in her knees gave way, and she landed in her desk chair with a plop.

"You're... I... Severus..."

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm alive, thank you for attempting to point that out."

"Please, sit," she said wearily in response.

We both took a seat on the Gryffindor red chaise she had set in front of her office fireplace. When we were both settled comfortably, Severus turned to the Headmistress.

"Minerva, thank you for the invitation to join you this afternoon," he said with his patented smirk. I knew he was mocking her for ordering the two of us to her office.

"Why did you two have to run off like that? You just let Albus and Poppy..."

"Minerva, how many times do you expect me to be able to tell the story of how I'm still alive and not want to curse whomever I'm speaking to? Plus, I've spent years in a magical coma; I wanted fresh air. It was nothing personal, I assure you."

"Since you aren't anxious to continue repeating yourself about how your heart is presently beating, how do you propose we move forward?" she challenged.

"I've devised a plan, but will need the assistance of several people."

The headmistress gave him a quizzical look and said, "Who do you need, Severus?"

"Potter and Longbottom," he said plainly.

What?!

Minerva nodded in response and walked towards her fireplace, apparently on a mission to summon the men Severus had requested.

Shocked, I leaned in close to him and whispered softly in his ear. "Severus? What are you up to? You've not been awake for an entire day and you're already plotting?"

Once again his hand was holding mine. He turned his head, and I could see a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Shhh, don't worry. You'll appreciate this plotting."

"But..."

I didn't have time to question him further. At that very moment, a flash of green light filled the hearth, and Harry, quickly followed by Neville, tumbled into the room.

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for the wait. My husband and I just got done moving, and I'm also eight months pregnant at the moment, so it's been a hectic few weeks. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, if you celebrate the day of overeating.

Much thanks to the alpha team of awesomeness, and to my amazing beta, karelia.

One more chapter left!

Much Love,

~ Brena