Fourteen

Hermione's finger was stuck up Severus' nose. Short of blasting it off, neither one had been able to undo the curse. They were seriously stuck together. If Severus hadn't been so grumpy, she might have found the situation a little funnier. But the past several hours were taking their toll on her, and she didn't want to be stuck with him in this kind of mood.

"I have a headache," he announced, rubbing his eyes. Without waiting for her to respond, he stalked to his chambers. Hermione had to swing herself around so she was able to jog next to him. Her hand was at an uncomfortable angle; the blood had drained, making it tingle and ache.

But she forgot her discomfort when they walked into Severus' chambers. They were simple but comfortable surroundings. Not a single picture lined the walls; instead they were adorned with numerous bookcases. A large bed filled the center of the room, complete with a puffy, white down comforter. He rushed her by a large walk-in closet and down the hallway to the bathroom.

The loo was smaller than she'd expected, but it was grand. The potions cabinet was warded, and he unceremoniously opened it. Severus uncorked a headache tonic and tried to drink. Her forearm was in front of his mouth. He firmly wrenched it out of his way. She yelped. Then he abruptly turned and marched down the hallway, seating himself on his bed over-dramatically.

"We're not leaving the room," he said. "I'm tired...I retire fairly early. Besides I can't eat now; I don't want to be seen with you attached."

It was six o'clock in the evening, and he wanted to sleep now? She decided to not fight this particular battle. She was forming a headache of her own after all the emotions that had run through her since the beginning of teatime.

"Your bed or mine?" she asked.

"Mine," he said with finality.

He undid his boots and pulled out his feet. He waited for her to turn around, but she wouldn't. If he wasn't going to play nice, neither would she. After a moment, he stood to undo his robes. He had on a button-up dress shirt, so it came off easily. Instantly, she was drawn to his chest. Despite her anger for him, her eyes raked his pale white skin covered with sparse hairs. His muscles moved so effortlessly underneath the flesh. Severus was not a muscular man, but he had definition enough.

She saw he was determinedly staring at a point directly above her head when he let his trousers drop. He wore black boxers, of course. His socks were still on, and they too were black, coming halfway up his calves. Pajama bottoms came soaring out of the closet, and he stepped into them. Severus didn't bother putting on a shirt, mumbling something about difficulty. He walked over to the closet, dragging her behind and hung up his robes. He cast cleansing charms on them and put his pants in the hamper. Everything was organized and orderly. Everything was black. Simple. The room smelled strongly of spice and fresh linen. She always smelled it on him. It was comforting despite the unusual circumstance.

Hermione had strived to keep her face emotionless while she watched him undress, but she realized he would be watching her undress in a moment. The other problems were these: she couldn't remove her hand, and thus the jumper would not come off. And since she couldn't use her left hand it would be difficult to do much of anything one handed. Either he was going to have to help or she was going to look stupid in front of him every time she changed or went to the loo.

Oh, not the loo...she was going to have to pee in front of him. And shower too! What had she done? No, this was his fault, all of it. If he'd only trusted her before, then none of this would have happened. She wasn't a hard person to trust, was she? Time after time she'd proven herself, and he knew it. But it didn't matter regarding her mettle; it was all up to him and how he grew as a person. And how long it took . . .

He was staring at her expectantly, his arms folded and a smirk across his face. At times he would go cross-eyed looking down at her finger, but then he would straighten out his eyes and look resolutely away. She had to undress with his black eyes watching her. If this had happened down in the dungeons a week ago, she'd have been willing enough to expose herself. But not now, their relationship was all messed up.

Shoes were easy; she kicked them off and flung them near the closet. When she bent over to take off her socks, he bent with her, and their heads collided. Ignoring his cursing, she used her wand to undo the fastenings on her trousers and then slid them off easily enough. Her light yellow jumper wasn't long enough to cover her panties. He might have caught a glimpse of the exposed pink triangle of cotton, but she couldn't be sure. Next, she transfigured her jumper into a toga-type nightgown. Only she made it much longer than her usual nightgown.

Severus smirked but didn't speak. She managed to get her bra off underneath her clothes and only had to sever the left strap and then repair it. This time she watched his eyes follow the bra as it glided through the air and landed on her pants and shoes. She crawled into bed, making it as difficult as possible for him, and then she scooted under the covers. The sheets were flannel and white like the comforter. They were cool on her bare feet. A chill ran up her spine.

Their sleeping positions were limited. The only way this was going to work was if Severus lay on his back and Hermione on her side, pressed up against him. They were silent as they positioned themselves. Her finger was still stuck up his nose. She laid her head on his shoulder, and his arm automatically wrapped around waist. Hermione's breath disturbed a few wiry hairs on his chest, and they swayed slightly. He turned the light off wandlessly, and the snow outside the window caught the moon, sending in a damp light.

She was angry with him, to say the least. All this time he had been using her. And yet she was sure their friendship had been real. He probably hadn't counted on liking her. Hermione knew he liked her...at least as a friend, even if his views on a more complex relationship were skewed. He'd let his guard down on any number of occasions for her not to have noticed. As much as she wanted to be angry at his lies, she was more hurt that he didn't trust her completely after all this time. If anything, it should be the other way around. She had every right to never trust this man again.

Anger was building up inside her as they awkwardly lay in the warm bed. She had the power to lead him around, so why was she letting him boss her around? Why were they in bed at six o'clock? And why had she let him take control of the situation yet again? She was too complacent, too soft and submissive. Well, not anymore! She wasn't going to stand for it. Just as she was going to voice her opinion, he spoke.

"It was an accident," he said with guilt. His voice was barely audible in the dark, and his thumb lightly stroked her arm.

"Hmm?" she asked, her temper caught off-guard.

"In September. After I had reprimanded you for your reckless behavior towards the house-elves, I had been ranting out loud. Winky had taken it as an order, without my consent, you see. Later, she had come back, telling me what she'd done. Well, she didn't tell me details...blaming it on deep elf magic.

"Regardless of all that, I didn't mean for it to happen at all. But once I knew what I was dealing with, I took it as a boon. Telling myself it was something I deserved. I hadn't thought how it would affect you. Or anyone else for that matter. I had wondered about killing people but kept telling myself it would never happen. Winky had assured me she wasn't stupid. But when I thought you'd killed me tonight, I realized how much I wanted to live. A bit ironic, but true none-the-less."

He stopped stroking her arm. She tried to form her thoughts into words, but he was softly snoring. He'd fallen asleep. Perhaps they could talk tomorrow. She knew where to find him. And with that thought, she too soon found herself falling asleep in his arms.

The next day proved complicated. Hygiene was the first hurdle. Their shower was slippery and embarrassing. Hermione found her eyes wandering down his body, but she refused to let herself see too much. She was mad at him, she reminded herself. More than once she rammed his head while trying to shampoo her mass of hair, and he threatened to cut the whole mop off after he got a bloody nose. At one point, the bar of soap slipped, and she lunged to catch it. And there they were, bent over in a knot. She tried keeping her left hand up so as not to yank his head. Hermione's bum nestled into his crotch nicely, his prickly pubic hairs pressed up against her. She clasped the bar of soap, and yet she didn't want to stand up straight. His hands were placed around her hips to keep himself from falling over, and it was quite arousing...for both of them. After an awkward pause, he pulled her up slowly and promptly turned off the water.

In his office things didn't get any better. Hermione heard Minerva snort several times, but when she glared at the portrait, Minerva had a look of concern on her face. Could pictures catch colds? Dumbledore was dispensing jokes to the other portraits. Severus ignored the old headmaster, sending out a message to the staff informing them he was indisposed until further notice and he was not to be disturbed. In an unrelated note, he told them Hermione was away on holiday in Australia and was not to be bothered either.

Winky brought them food with a semi-smile on her elvish face. Severus insisted on eating first. Hermione's anger from last night reared its head, and she told him a thing or two. Amazingly, he saw her side of it and let her eat first. Was that guilt she saw in his eyes she wondered? He cut her food into bite-sized pieces and didn't utter a word. When she finished, she stood behind him, her arm draped over his lanky black hair. His mouth exposed, he ate quickly.

It was no use trying to get work done, but they attempted it anyway. Severus sat at his desk, and she sat next to him atop his desk like she'd done the first time she'd spoken with Minerva's portrait. She transfigured his end table into a tall and narrow desk so she could work while facing the opposite direction. Things went along smoothly for her, but apparently he was having difficulty. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought his eyes kept straying to her bum.

"You're infernal hand is prohibiting my vision. Kindly lower your arm, and stop tugging unexpectedly. My neck is going to snap."

She tried to comply, but there was nothing she could do. A few hours later, her bum fell asleep sitting on the desk, and she was hungry. So she dragged Severus over to the fireplace. She transfigured a couch from one of his stiff chairs. Sitting cross-legged and sideways on the couch, she was able to lean back against its arm while he sat normally.

Winky served tea and sandwiches, and they ate with little difficulty if she lifted her hand just right. The fire was warm, and the food was filling. Hermione was tired, having slept little during the night. She pulled Severus down to her and laid his head on her bosom. He fought for a minute, but she told him she was too tired to argue; besides, he only needed to trust her to have the situation over. She stretched out her legs on either side of him, and soon they were slumbering away the afternoon.

While Hermione had been working on her essays, she'd formulated a plan. It didn't make sense to fight with him about his lack of trust. It would prove his point that she wasn't trustworthy. She was going to have to outsmart this man. Slytherin tactics were in order. If he thought he was in control, then he would feel secure. Their entire relationship had seen him as the dominant one. Why not keep it that way to ensure her plan worked?

Winky woke them up for dinner, and they ate in the same manner as before. But since they'd slept all afternoon, Hermione wasn't too keen on going back to bed. Instead they talked, very civilly, about the curse. Not the hyperbole they were currently stuck in but about the major curse. More pointedly, how were they going to break it? Winky was bound as before and could not reveal any more information, so it was impossible to find a counter-curse. Especially with Wizarding magic against elfin magic. They set about coming up with ideas. The elf had hinted at the curse being lifted or fulfilled completely, but they didn't know to what end.

"Maybe I have to reach a certain age. It was my birthday when she gave me the curse, so maybe on my next birthday in September?" Hermione said.

"No, I don't think that's it. You have this curse until you learn a lesson. And aging one year isn't going to have the required effect to break the spell."

"So all I have to do is learn my lesson. But haven't I already? I mean, I didn't try to save Oliver when he lost his testicle, and I did apologize for trying to save you a second time. I'm good right?"

"Perhaps you need to learn some other lesson," he suggested.

"I wonder why you're connected to it at all? Because I wronged you in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. And why am I the only one learning? Maybe you are more connected to this curse than we previously thought."

Severus was quiet for a time, then said, "I doubt I have to do much, other than be present. Winky stated that quite obviously when she first told me about the curse. No, it's more on your part. Maybe you're required to say a specific amount of phrases, even if you've learnt your lesson."

"It's possible. Well, it's worth a shot anyway. Would you like to help me come up with as many phrases as possible? We can be a team this time around. What do you say?"

Severus gave her a full-blown smile. Inwardly, Hermione gave a smile just as big. He was playing into her hands perfectly. He would trust her in no time.

The next two weeks were the best Severus had ever had. Granger's finger stayed resolutely in his nostril, and after only three days, it became natural, almost normal. They found a routine, which worked well, and it became less cumbersome as they gauged the other's movements. Meals were still tiresome but livable. And when they worked, he couldn't help but focus on her bum, sitting next to his arm as she worked. How he wanted to slide her in front of him and take her on his desk.

But it would just be a quick screw; it wouldn't be Lily. It was disgusting. He didn't want to think about his twisted desires. How he loathed himself. Severus didn't even know if making love were possible without Lily. He recognized desire for Granger, but how far did it go? Certainly he enjoyed conversing and working with her. But was it enough to love the girl? He didn't know.

Showers were by far the hardest. He'd traced every curve of her wet body with his eyes. And she was unabashed about her nakedness in his presence, another turn on. On more than one occasion, he could do nothing to hide his arousal, but she never mentioned it. But it wasn't because she didn't notice. He'd seen her eyes wander down his body.

She would bite her lip as she passed the bar of soap. Such an intimate thing to share: for her to clean her delicate body and then pass it on to him. He wanted to wash her himself...to run his hands over her wet skin with that bar of soap. Or to be her bar of soap would be divine. To cover every inch of her body, leaving his residue behind...marking his territory. But he reprimanded himself for his inappropriate thoughts and desires. He realized one morning that his focus on Lily was fading; her memories were slipping away like the soap that kept falling to the shower floor.

Term was starting on Monday. All day Saturday they prepared for after the Easter holidays.

"I'm going to have to start moving stuff in here if this lasts much longer," she said playfully to him while they reclined on the sofa that evening.

It was his favorite position, to lie atop her without a sexual agenda, just a feeling of complete content. She was lightly stroking his hair as she stared at the fire. He could hear her heart beating in his ear, and her chest rose lightly as she breathed.

In this position he knew without a doubt that he trusted Granger more than he'd ever trusted anyone else in his life. Dumbledore and Minerva had nothing compared to her. Granger stood on a level all on her own. Lily hadn't trusted him enough to forgive him, and so, he'd never fully trusted her, he'd realized. And now it was time to tell her the truth.

"Granger, I..."

"No! Don't say it." She pulled his head up to look at his face.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say."

"That you trust me. You have to or you wouldn't be lying on top of me like this."

He pulled her hand away from his hair. "I need to do it."

She looked at the fire for a moment before sighing. "It should be the other way around, shouldn't it? I should be demanding that you trust me. You have no reason not to trust me. I have never let you down. Yet here I am, begging you to keep your opinions to yourself. Please. Wait until tomorrow. For one more night can I pretend I hate you and that you mistrust me?"

He would indulge her, although enabling her was not smart in the long run. He understood her meaning. She still wanted him in that way. But he followed her to bed. She snuggled against him.

"I have a confession," she said. "If you care to remember, I haven't fought or argued with you regarding our whole sticky situation. And I should be extremely angry with you. This whole time you have been using me. But you didn't expect to like me, did you? I know you do. You're my friend."

He didn't know what to say, so he didn't respond at all. She found this acceptable.

"So my evil plan was to let you fall into a secure state, and you would eventually trust me. And it worked. But it worked too well. I'm not angry anymore. And it's all your fault. I trust you too."

She must have realized she'd spoken so frankly because the silence was a bit awkward. But Granger's breathing soon steadied, and she was out. But he would get little sleep tonight. He had much to think about after her confession of sorts. Severus' fingertips memorized the feel of her delicate skin.

Sometime during the night in an addled state from lack of sleep, he imagined that Granger was Lily sleeping next to him. His beautiful Lily, back. Her delicate hand so close to his eyes he could make out the minute details. Light veins on her slender arm led to her heart. Where his love was kept. Surely after all they had been through, Lily still retained some affection for him. Potter could not have completely stolen her heart. He was about to wake her when he saw her red hair was now bushy and brown. The woman beside him was not Lily but Granger. He had trusted Granger, yet she had betrayed him in her sleep...she was not the woman he wanted. Why couldn't she be Lily? With venom in his voice, he whispered, "I trusted you Granger. I trusted you."

Her finger fell from his nose. The revealed space was dry, alien to him. She did not wake, but her arm automatically cupped his peck, causing the nipple to harden with her touch. Severus' mind cleared slightly at this change, and he was disgusted with himself. His emotions were out of control. Should he move on, leaving Lily in her grave with her husband? Granger lay next to him, drooling on his chest. She was willing to put up with him. He was not a stoic man. Yet she kept coming back, forgiving him...fawning over him in a sickening manner. She was too dedicated towards him.

How much longer would he have to live this cursed life? How many more years before he would join those green eyes that always called to him in the silence of the night? He'd lain awake this night to watch beautiful Granger sleep. But he couldn't prohibit images of Lily from tainting his vision. His heart was bitter by the morning's light. Severus was aware of his delusions during the night. Although he was still tired, he was of a clear mind once more. He sorted the two women into their proper pegs, vowing to keep them there. Granger was a true friend. But that was all she could be for now. He knew he would have to let go of Lily, but didn't think he had the strength to do so right now. Maybe in time it would all work out.

Granger stirred soon enough, and he knew she was awake. He kept his breathing even, so she would think he was still asleep. Curiosity had the better of him. What would she do now that her hand was free? Would she be pleased or disappointed that she was unattached?

Her hand, resting gently on his naked chest moved ever so slowly in circles around his nipple. He twitched at the touch.

She smiled into his chest. "I knew you were awake, Severus."

He hummed in agreement.

"So you did it then. While I was sleeping." She flexed her finger and rubbed the pad of her thumb against it.

"I thought it best."

"I see." She got out of the bed without looking at him, gathering her clothes.

"Where are you going?" Had he offended her?

"It would be inappropriate for me to stay any longer. I have things to do, Severus. Good day," she stated and strode out of the room.

He stumbled out of the bed after her, but his foot caught in the sheets. The Floo activated, and when he reached his office, the flames had already returned to their normal orange.

The shower was huge without her inside it, the water not hot enough, the soap smelled off without her fragrance under the jet. Everything was wrong. He toweled off and dressed. His room was dismal without her presence.

"Winky," he practically shouted.

"Yes, sir?" she said.

"I need you to see what Professor Granger is doing at this moment. And be quiet about it; don't let her know you're there. Come back immediately."

With a nod and a snap of her fingers, she was gone. In less than a minute, she was back.

"Miss Granger is to be in her shower this minute. And she is crying."

Damn. Well, he'd hurt her. He'd better make this good. Scrawling a note, he transfigured all his favorite quills into extraordinary flowers. They looked like roses and yet retained a bit of their fowl-ness. There were beautiful shades of browns and neutrals. A few were exotic with bright blues and reds, and some were hues of yellow or pale green. He arranged them in a blue-glassed vase he had in a cabinet and attached the note with a temporary sticking charm.

"Place this where Granger will find it. Don't let her see or hear you, but stay there until you're sure she's found it. Then you may go back to your duties."

"As you say, sir," Winky said.

"Oh, and, Winky. Thank you."

She smiled, then was gone.

He didn't want Granger mad at him, not after everything. He wanted her in his life. In his note, he'd formally asked Granger over for teatime, since it was Sunday. She came dressed in a long cream-colored dress clinging to her body in all the right places. Her hair was wild and unruly as usual, but it was beautiful. He stared at her for just a moment too long. She'd gussied herself up on purpose trying to inflict guilt and remorse for undoing the curse without her this morning.

"Before we start, I must explain why I released you during the night," Severus said.

Granger sat down across from the desk...entirely too far away.

"Would you like to sit in front of the fire?" he asked.

They reclined on the sofa but not as they had over the past few weeks. He was struck with the realness of it all. They were colleagues now, and whatever had happened during the past fourteen days was never to happen again. And he would do well to remember it too.

"I trust you, Granger."

She gave a wry smile. "Obviously."

"Quiet, you," he said with humor. "This is difficult for me. I trust you more than I've ever trusted another soul. I've always relied upon myself in all situations. I've never even trusted Minerva or Albus to this extent. I didn't think I could have done it with you looking at me."

Granger put down her tea. "You mean that?"

"Yes."

Severus only had to wait until Friday for an opportune moment to do their first prank together. Wood was a royal pain in the arse. The next Quidditch match wasn't for another five weeks, and he was going through withdrawals. The prat was taking out too much on the students all week. Several Gryffindors had come to either Severus' office or he'd had other professors complaining about Wood's ethics and mood swings.

Severus had spoken with Granger, and they'd both decided it was time to bring Wood's behavior out into the public eye. He wanted to mention the time Wood had nearly forced himself on her, but Severus didn't know if it were his place. So Friday, for dinner in the Great Hall, Granger sat strategically near him, so they could catch each other's signals. Wood was delayed for dinner, Winky had helped some, and it was sure to put him in a temper. Perfect.

"Have you talked with Oliver lately?" Granger asked Professor Bones while cutting into her steak.

"No, why? I thought you weren't speaking with him anymore, Hermione," Professor Bones said.

"Oh, I'm not. It's just, I've been hearing from students he's starting to lay on the whip a bit." She shoved her piece of steak in her mouth to keep a straight face.

Just then the doors to the Great Hall burst open. Wood was wearing a scowl on his pretty-boy face. His robes billowed, and Severus briefly wondered what kind of monster they had created. Wood pulled out a huge bullwhip from the depths of his robes. As he walked past the Gryffindor table, he cracked the whip. Startled by the sound, all the students froze, sitting up stiff as boards, not daring to move. He cracked it twice more as he made his way to the high table, and then he rolled it up before sitting upon it.

"Corporal punishment?" Severus drawled.

Wood gave him a mutinous look before turning to his food. The whole student body was staring.

"My office now, Professor Wood," Severus barked.

The students sniggered as Wood passed the tables...his head hung as he dragged the whip up to Severus' office. Finally he'd been humiliated.

It was good to finally lay into the dolt. Wood didn't see why he was in the wrong. The whip was now gone, and he claimed he didn't know how he'd gotten it in the first place. Although he stated that it had felt right to have one when he'd entered the Great Hall. Severus knew the reasons why, but he wasn't going to explain. He just wanted to scare Wood so he'd behave better towards the students. Minerva's portrait was especially appalled. She probably made Wood feel the worst with her sharp tongue. Soon enough the boy was begging to keep his job, and Severus agreed to keep him until the end of the year as long as there wasn't a repeat in his actions.

After he'd cleared Wood out of his office, he gloried in the feeling of control. It was well earned. Wood had needed a rude awakening long ago. And without Granger's help, he never would have made it happen. It really was nice having an accomplice.

Over the next few weeks, he and Granger managed to get out a phrase a week. Trelawney ripped her heart out during a staff meeting and nearly fainted from the shock. She was healed quickly and had stopped offering to predict staff members' futures. Filch was hoisted up by his bootstraps for several hours, and Severus was sure the man would no longer hound him regarding the shackles he kept well oiled in his office. And Severus' favorite curse was getting Hagrid into a huge pile of shite. Granger had been reluctant, considering her past with the half-giant, but she'd agreed once Severus had pointed out the half-giant had been performing illegal breeding with a unicorn and the horse she'd given him.

Yes, things were going splendidly. He was getting revenge on all those whom had annoyed him for decades while she used up as many phrases as she could to get free. Most everyone thought the incidents were normal occurrences at Hogwarts. With students wielding magic, accidents were understandable and expected.

The middle of April approached, and the weather was less snowy but more rainy. The Forbidden Forest was a mass of stretched limbs twisted upward in prayer to the rain gods. The moors were brown with mud, and Severus was reminded of how much he hated the end of winter before spring was fully awake. His moods were short and his temper hot as things started coming to a head between him and Granger...unbeknownst to her. Severus was fighting emotions he'd never faced before. He was battling off Lily; it felt like a losing battle.

Pucey informed him that the star player on the Slytherin Quidditch team had been injured during practice, and it didn't look like he'd be able to play on the first of May. The Hogsmeade trip was coming up, and several members from the town council were concerned about the safety of its citizens. Staff meetings were shouting matches between teachers over students and their lack of enthusiasm for homework. O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s were coming up for the fifth and seventh years too. That meant the Ministry would be arriving at the school, and he would have to play the host. It was the worst time in any school year.

On Saturday, Severus sent half the staff with the students down to Hogsmeade to keep the town happy. He assigned Pucey and Granger to oversee a mass detention in the Great Hall. He wanted the girl to meet or at least notice other males in the world, but after only an hour, she came storming into his office.

"Why did you assign me over detention?" she demanded.

"Because you turned half the student body into animals last time you went down to Hogsmeade," he replied coolly.

"No, I understand your reasons for keeping me out of public. But why aren't I free today? Why am I stuck with that prig, Pucey?"

"I happen to think quite highly about the Head of Slytherin. He's a very intelligent person, and he's over Muggle Studies. I assumed you two would have a lot in common and would have a decent conversation while overseeing students repairing old school equipment."

"The bastard was treating me like a specimen! At first I thought he was interested in me in that way. He was fascinated with my background and kept asking questions. It was quite sudden. Then he said, 'Thanks for talking so openly. You're the first Muggle-born I've talked to since I've gotten the position. It will really help me give proper examples. Do you mind coming into my class sometime as an exhibit?'"

Well, that was unfortunate. Maybe he should have looked into someone else to pair with Granger. Longbottom perhaps?

"Were you trying to set us up?" she asked suspiciously.

"What?"

She sighed and sat down in the chair opposite him. For a long time she stared at her hands, cleaning under her fingernails...nerves.

She needed a healthy sexual relationship with someone who could be devoted to her. And that wasn't him. Severus had built Lily up inside his mind for decades; it couldn't be undone overnight. But that didn't mean he and Granger couldn't continue to be friends. All he'd been trying to do was introduce her to other males...potentially normal partners.

"I hope you aren't totally oblivious, Severus. Lately I go weak in the knees and can't think straight around you."

With one long sweep of her arm, she pushed everything off his desk into a fluttering pile on the floor. Then she climbed onto his desk and crawled to him, going straight to his groin. Her seductive prowl was catlike. Porcelain-white cleavage fell into view as the scoop of her blouse dropped open. Her eyes, heavy with lust, held a hint of fear.

He hadn't decided what he was going to do when she leaned in to kiss him on the mouth. Her lips were soft, her breath warm. He responded out of intuition; he wanted her just as badly. His old standby told him it was just his body, but he knew he, Severus Snape, really did want her...all of her.

The kiss shifted into something heavier as she slid off the desk onto his lap, straddling him in his office chair. How many times had he wanted her to do just that? Or had it been Lily he'd imagined doing it to him? Granger's hands worked on his collar buttons. His hands rounded over her bum, something he'd always wanted to touch, and it was better than he'd imagined. But Lily was on his lap now.

No, he had to stop. This wasn't right. As much as he wanted it to be Granger, Lily kept popping up. Everything had flipped now. He had to stop Granger from kissing him because he wanted Granger to kiss him. Blast it all, Lily!

Despite his efforts, Granger pressed on. Severus had to tell her. It wouldn't be fair to continue forward. Hating himself, he abruptly stood, dropping her onto his desk.

"I cannot do this because I'm faulty. I cannot rid my mind of these images of Lily."

He wanted to tell her how much he desired her. Her bottom lip trembled. Silent tears were falling down her face. Before he could form his emotions into words, she dashed off his desk.

"Granger, wait. I didn't explain myself very well." He felt physically sick.

"Can it, Severus!" she yelled as she slammed the door.

Turning, he vomited in the rubbish bin. When he stood back up, his desk was covered in peeled tomatoes and glass mason jars. A large cauldron was full of boiling water. He sighed as his hands took over their job.

He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head as he finished canning the last batch of tomatoes. The curse lifted once the last jar was cooling on the rack. He faced Minerva. Her thin lips were drawn tight.

"Is this going to take long?" He sneered. "I am in a hurry to get pissed tonight."

"Oh, I have nothing to say to you. But I rather think Winky does." With that, the witch walked out of her portrait.

The elf appeared at his elbow, a bottle of firewhiskey in hand. He drank straight from the bottle.

"Winky, I command you hold your tongue for the rest of the day. I am not in the mood."

The elf looked offended but kept quiet.

As the night progressed, he went through the entire bottle. When midnight struck, the elf appeared in his room. Before he could coherently order her to keep quiet, she got right up in his face. He'd never seen the mean side of a house-elf.

"Winky warned sir, and sir has not listened to Winky."

"You can't curse me, Winky. I'll give you clothes before you curse me," he said stupidly.

"Sir is already been cursed. And not undoing it very well." The elf actually smirked.

"Will the curse be lifted if I disown you?"

The elf was unfazed with his remark. "No. You is to be learning a lesson. Winky cursed you months ago. Headmistress McGonagall insisted it was for sir's own good."

"Well, tell me how to undo it," Severus snarled.

"The rules is the same as before...Winky cannot say. But sir is getting close to solving it."

"Does it involve Granger? Does she have to be near me? Is it the same thing? Give me some sort of a clue," he insisted.

"It is all depending upon your deepest fear, sir." Winky's eyes got wide as she realized she'd slipped. She grabbed the closest thing, which were canning prongs, and bonked herself on her head a few times before he took them. She left after that, leaving him to think through his drunken haze.

A big thanks goes out to Southern_Wtich_69 for her great beta work. I love you, hun! And another thanks to all of you who stick with this story. I love you, even if you don't leave reviews. I have one more chapter after this, so enjoy!