Four

Chapter Four

He saw her blush and could see her trembling. Was she thinking of her treachery then? He was undecided if he would confront her this day. If she could wallow in self pity, then that would be punishment enough.

Her breasts are so full. Shit! What the fuck? He needed to shake the image out of his mind. After she was seated, he began his prepared speech. "Miss Granger, last night was unacceptable. I am considering going to the headmaster." He raised an eyebrow as all the color drained from her face.

"Er... last... last night you say? Sorry, whatever do you me-mean?"

She was nervous. He could see that, and it was apparent that she'd still half believed that he was too stupid to figure it all out.

"Yes, of course. Your behavior. Liquor is no excuse, young lady." He smirked. She was shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Were those tears shimmering in her eyes?

"Professor..." she said in a whisper.

His insides nearly exploded. It was what she had called him when she'd had her first orgasm. He almost closed his eyes to better remember that moment, but he held his ground.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?" he asked menacingly.

"I don't know what came over me. Well, that is to say... I mean, I do know, but... wait. Oh no!" She was panicking. Her hands had tightened on the arms of the chairs, and her words had become jumbled.

He chuckled. It was time to save her from herself. That way he could continue his game. "Pushing a professor. Cursing at him. Name calling. Though we were not on school grounds, I still won't have it." He saw her face fill with relief.

"OH, that!" She grinned stupidly. "Right. I'm very sorry indeed."

So, she had been afraid he knew. "That, you say. Was there something else?" He cocked his head to the side and looked into her eyes, finding guilt and a little sadness.

"Yes. I'm... I think I should tell you..." She stopped dry and looked down.

He admired her courage. She felt sufficiently guilty. He could see that. She knew that what she'd done was wrong. He held her eyes for a moment and delved into her mind. He saw flashes. Harry's face. His own face. His face with a slit of moonlight upon it. Apparently, it was from the night before when he was inside of her. He tore his mind away from hers, squelching his desire to grab her to him.

"What would that be?" he asked, praising himself for sounding normal. He watched her take a deep breath.

"I've done something horrible. I was drunk. I... I didn't mean to, but I... I couldn't help it. I mean..." She was about to cry.

He knew exactly how to pull her out of this. "Miss Granger, everyone makes mistakes. Whatever you did last night at that boy's flat is of no concern to me. If you feel the need to talk to someone, might I suggest your head of house? Or Potter, perhaps?"

She nodded and didn't meet his eyes. Something twisted inside of him. It wasn't the sight of tears streaming down her cheeks either that did it. This was ridiculous. He was a grown man. Why couldn't he just say the way he felt?

She spoke in a broken voice, tainted with tears. "What is my punishment?"

"I think, Hermione, that you've had enough," he said softly.

She nodded. Still not meeting his eyes. He willed her to look up, but she wouldn't. Her sobs grew louder.

"Please don't cry. I'm sorry." You old softy! What had this girl done to him? God, but her lips felt good. Enough! he told his brain.

She met his eyes. "I'm so sorry," she wailed.

He got up from his chair and knelt in front of hers. "Don't be sorry," he soothed.

"But... you have no idea what I've done. I can only say that I'm sorry." Hermione seemed so sad. Did she have regrets about losing her virginity? Acting on impulse?

Only one way to find out. "I know what you've done, Hermione. I can say I'm not happy about it, but I don't want you to... to do anything to yourself."

Suddenly, she jumped back and nearly tripped over her chair.

"Oh my God! You... you know."

The look of horror on her face cut him deeply. He stood up to steady her and took one of her hands. "Hermione, I'm a professor at this establishment. One of yours. Do you have any idea what could happen to me... to us if someone found out?" That came out a bit sharper than he had planned. He had to make her understand that nothing could come of this as much as he would like it to. Would he want it to? She was too young for him. Too nice. Too bright.

She fell into his arms and held on tightly as if her life depended on it. She was sobbing again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, but then..."

He stroked her hair.

"I couldn't bring myself to stop it. I needed you."

A slight moan escaped his throat, and he pulled her face to his for a soft kiss. "It was wrong. I was under the impression it was someone else. You deserved better than that from another person. Not from me."

She wasn't listening to him. She was stubborn. "I know it was wrong, but I am an adult. It's what I wanted... want still. I love you. Or, at least, I could if you would just give me a chance," she begged.

"You are a student here at Hog-"

"Not for much longer. I've only a couple of weeks. I will be a student no longer. Will you still deny me then?" she asked sharply.

"Yes. I will," he replied firmly.

She blinked in shock. "But why?"

"You are too talented to waste yourself on an old man like me. I will not have my life turned around just so that in a few years you would change your mind and leave me alone again," he spat angrily, moving away from her.

She came up behind him then and wrapped her arms around him. "I'll never leave you. Can't we just try? I want you. You... you are perfect for me. In all ways."

He removed her hands from him and turned to face her. "No, Hermione. I will not give in to this. Do you know that I may be killed at any moment? Where would that leave you?"

She blanched. Ah, now he was getting somewhere.

"But last night... you said you loved me."

He smirked. "I was drunk, girl. Caught up in a moment with someone else or so I thought at that time."

"No," she whispered. "You were pretending it was me anyway. You wanted me."

"Yes, I did. Do you not forget that I had seen you nearly undressed earlier? I am a man first. I was turned on. I had to get that thought out of my system. Now, you dare to try to torture me even more?" He sounded hard he knew, but it was the only way.

"I love you," she said defiantly.

"You, dear girl, do not even know me. You would turn and run the other way would you really know all the things that I have done in this life." He pushed her away again. "Stop throwing yourself at me!"

"I don't care what you've done in the past. You... you had to do it to survive, Severus. I can tell-"

He was seething. Would she not listen to him? "You know no such thing. I wasn't always forced to do things, Hermione. I liked who I was once!"

"But you have changed! You are not that man anymore. You are what I want. Please stop pulling away from me. Let me make you happy," she pleaded. "I can do this. I have enough love for both of us."

"I've not changed so much as you think," he said in a deadly voice. "The things I think of doing to you are unnatural. Spare yourself. And, spare me. Please just leave things as they are. We cannot and will not ever... ever couple again."

She bowed her head in defeat. "All right."

She frowned a bit, but then she smiled. "If you should change your mind, look me up."

He did not reply. He simply watched her open his door and walk out of his life. His heart felt heavy. But why? Was it not what he wanted? Of course it is! She's just a child after all.

AN: LOL... This is such fun.