Letters

Disclaimer: Nothing recognisable is mine.

Author’s Note: Thanks to my new beta Rhiannon :)

Chapter 6: Letters

Dear Hermyknee,

By now you wuld have receved my petition. Please acept. I know together we wil produce many wundaful kids. You wuld make me such a butiful wife and mother. I miss the home cooked meals my mum used to make. You culd help me by cooking and cleaning, and I culd help you by giving you lots of kids. Please acept.

Yours,

Marcus Flint.

****

Dear Miss Granger,

I’m writing to inform you that you, like me incidentally, will be considered a single witch under Bill 5932. In these circumstances, you will have two months from the date the law becomes effective to find yourself a partner and marry him.

I must confess I feel extremely lucky to be alive at a time when such exciting things are happening everywhere. To think, we will be part of the first generation of couples brought together by the never-ending wisdom of the Ministry. Our children will be the first to be able to proudly proclaim that they were a direct product of the quick thinking ingenuity of Minister Scrimgeour .

There is, however, one troubling aspect about the new law. No one is compelled to marry the first person that submits a petition for them, and they are, in fact, able to submit subsequent ones to other people. I have it on good authority that you seem to have received three petitions for your hand in marriage. If you would be so kind as to take an older, more experienced woman’s advice - you might find that your life would be much better if you didn’t accept Severus Snape’s petition. There is no telling what would happen to you, should you marry the former Death Eater.

Wishing you a long and successful marriage,

Dolores Umbridge.

Special Assistant to the Minister of Magic.

****

Snape,

What in Merlin’s name is the attached letter about? Please try to keep your jealous suitors away from me in the future; I want nothing to do with them.

Hermione Granger.

****

Dearest Severus,

I sent you a petition over a week ago and have yet to get your answer. I need your input on the colour theme and a date for the upcoming nuptials. I know that there is just over two months until the ceremony needs to be completed, but I am rather anxious to start married life with you.

I am aware of one Draco Malfoy submitting a petition to one Hermione Granger on your behalf. Do not trifle yourself over such matters, however, as I have dealt with the issue. There is nothing left to stop this marriage.

Please respond quickly with suggestions for theme and date.

Awaiting your reply,

Dolores Umbridge.

****

Secretary Umbridge,

Please remove me from your correspondence list. I no longer wish to receive any kind of letter from you. I will not be accepting your petition, so no input from is needed in regards to your wedding day.

Potions Master Snape.

****

Malfoy,

You incompetent git, the Toad knows you submitted that petition for me. This situation is getting out of my control.

Why would she be fighting this hard to make sure I accept the petition? She’s up to something, but I don’t know what. I’ve included her letter to me and one she sent to Granger. Tell me what you make of them.

Speaking of Granger, I honestly don’t think she’s going to accept my petition. We need a new plan. Snapping my wand sounds like an excellent idea at this stage.

Snape.

****

Uncle Sev,

How is life at your house? Life at Malfoy Manor is brilliant. Ginevra is pregnant, and we are having a dinner to celebrate. Your attendance is expected. Your good manners will need to shine through as certain members of her family are also invited, and I’d like to avoid carnage in my recently decorated dining room.

What I also expect off you is the ceasing of these constant attempts to send me insane. Stop Worrying. I’m serious. We have two whole months to find a back up plan, should Hermione say no. Since she won’t, this whole incessant worrying is becoming tiresome and getting on my nerves.

I’ll see you next Friday, promptly at 6 for pre-dinner drinks. Preferably non-alcoholic in your case. Learn to behave yourself before then.

Your favourite nephew,

Draco.

P.S. Please note the polite way of addressing a letter to someone.

****

Malfoy,

I’m not your uncle. Please stop at once. I’ll be there, but don’t expect me to deal with the Weasley clan sober.

Snape.

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Dear Miss Hermione Granger,

It gives us great pleasure to announce the pregnancy of Ginevra Malfoy. To celebrate this momentous occasion, what we hope is the first of many; you are cordially invited to dinner at the Malfoy Manor next Friday.

We will be meeting for drinks at 6:00 pm and sitting down for dinner at 7:30pm.

Dress is formal.

Please RSVP by Wednesday.

We look forward to your company,

Draco and Ginevra Malfoy.

****

Dear Viktor,

How’s everything in Bulgaria? Life in England is okay, just a little stressful at the moment. My work is going great though, so one less thing to complain about.

I was getting ready to accept your marriage petition when it occurred to me that I’m not sure where we would live once we were married. I’m assuming it would be England, right?

Just a silly question I thought I would bring up.

Thanks,

Hermione.

****

Hermione,

Of course we would not live in England. I sent a petition for you because I would like to avoid a marriage arranged by my parents, not because I want to avoid them completely.

Please do not let this stop you from accepting. With my athletic skills, and your brainpower, our kids would be very special.

Think of the fame they would receive, living in Bulgaria where their dad is a national hero.

Please answer soon,

Viktor.