XXVI: Birthday Troubles

Chapter XXVI: Birthday Troubles

He had tried. He really had. Ever since Morgaine had moved her study back to the upper floor, he felt as if he did not have the right to just barge in anymore. But knocking seemed to be beyond his ghostly abilities. Hence, Severus had simply glided through the door. He had, however, stopped and made a loud coughing noise to inform Morgaine of his presence.

'Have you seen Demeter?' he asked as he approached her desk.

'Have you checked the Gryffindor common room?' Morgaine suggested, not looking up from the essay she was grading.

'The Fat Lady informed me that there are no students left in the common room.'

'No surprise there, really. It's a beautiful day.'

Indeed it was, but one could not tell in Morgaine's study, despite the huge windows. The curtains were drawn, and she was working by candlelight.

'You relocated your study due to the dungeons being too dark for your taste,' Severus pointed out. 'And now you are shutting out the sunlight. Is there any logic behind your actions?'

Still, Morgaine did not look up. 'It's either that or brewing another Headache Potion,' she explained in an indifferent tone.

Severus frowned. Morgaine had brewed a cauldron full of said potion only a week ago. Surely, she could not have used it all already. And if she had, that was not a good sign.

'Have you seen the matron about that?' he asked.

Morgaine carefully put down her quill and finally looked up at the ghost in front of her, a calculating look in her eyes. 'How many times did you go to see Poppy about classroom-induced headaches, Professor Snape?'

Severus didn't answer, and Morgaine gave him a tired, forced smile. 'It seems that headaches come with the job. I don't mind the potions fumes, but the smell of melting cauldrons will one day be the death of me.'

She picked up her quill again and returned to her grading, and Severus kept hovering in front of her desk, silent and slightly annoyed by the fact that she was right. Over the almost two decades that he had taught Potions, the days with headaches had outnumbered the ones without, but he had never seen the matron about it. He had brewed his own Headache Potions and let his bad mood go out over his students, which – on some days – had been quite satisfying.

'Weren't you about to see Demeter?' Morgaine interrupted his musings after some time.

'I still do not know where she is,' Severus replied in a slightly annoyed tone. It almost seemed as if Morgaine were trying to get rid of him.

Once more, Morgaine looked up from her work. Once more, she smiled. But this time, the smile was genuine. It was warm and kind, and it reached her eyes. 'Have some imagination, Severus. It's Demeter's birthday. Where would you spend yours if you were twelve?'

Severus scowled. 'I would not know. I spent most of my teenage birthdays in the Slytherin dormitory or the library.'

Where else? He had not exactly had many friends to celebrate his birthday with when he had been a teenager. And the number of friends had certainly not increased once he had left school. His adult birthdays had therefore been spent in solitude, too. Most of them, anyway.

'Where did you spend your teenage birthdays?' he asked.

Morgaine leaned back in her chair and tilted her head. 'Most of them, I spent in the dungeons. With you.'

Severus narrowed his ghostly eyes. The smile on Morgaine's lips lingered, but he had not missed that it had disappeared from her eyes. And neither had he missed the slight change of tone in her voice. He could not quite define it, however. Was is melancholy?

But Morgaine did not give him the time to finish his thoughts. 'It's Saturday, and the sun is shining. Something tells me that you'll find Demeter in the rose garden, playing Gobstones with Melvin.'

Severus nodded absent-mindedly. Of course Demeter would be with Melvin. Of course they would be outdoors, playing Gobstones. He had observed them often enough to know that. He would not have needed to consult Morgaine about it. But still he had. Ever since Morgaine had decided to move her study back to the upper floor, he would use any excuse to see her.

'Would you like to join me?' he asked.

Morgaine shook her head, flicking through the papers in front of her. 'I have work to do.'

Severus cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. 'How can third-year Potions essays be more important than our daughter's birthday?'

He could literally see the muscles in Morgaine's jaw tighten, but he was not prepared for the icy look in her eyes as she looked back up at him. Nor was he prepared for the venomous tone in her voice.

'For your information, Severus, Demeter and I went for breakfast at the Three Broomsticks together to celebrate,' she hissed. 'I do honour my maternal duties, you know.'

Severus raised his hands in defence. 'Morgaine, I did not ...'

But Morgaine interrupted him, using a similar gesture. 'I'm sorry, Severus,' she said, bringing her hand to her face to pinch the bridge of her nose. 'I didn't mean to snap. It just ...' She shook her head and sighed. 'Tell you what, I'll finish grading these essays and have a lie-down. Why don't you go and find Demeter, and I'll come down in a while to see if you're still outside?'

Severus nodded. 'I did not mean to ...' he started again, but Morgaine once more shook her head.

'Go find the birthday girl, Severus,' she said. 'Give her my love.'

He lingered for some moments, observing Morgaine as she picked up her quill and returned to her grading. He felt the need to apologise but was unable to find the right words. Neither could he come up with a good argument to make Morgaine abandon her work and join him in his search for Demeter.

'Rub some rosemary oil on your temples before you lie down,' he suggested instead. 'I always found that helpful.'

'I'll try that,' Morgaine answered, but she sounded as if she had not really heard him. She seemed too absorbed in her grading. And as she did not look up anymore, Severus dematerialised. He knew when there was nothing more to say.

~ ~ ~

Morgaine did not finish her grading once Severus had left. Instead, she let her shoulders slump and leaned once more back in her chair, letting the back of her head rest against the cool leather. Lying down would probably be a good idea indeed, as her head was pounding as if a herd of Hippogriffs were trampling around in it. But she doubted that she would make it to her private chambers without collapsing or – at least – without vomiting. She hadn't felt that abysmal in ages.

Maybe Severus was right. Maybe she should see Poppy about her headaches. But then again, what good would it do? What could that matron tell her that Morgaine did not know already? She would point out that the symptoms were most probably stress-related and order rest. But resting was about the only thing Morgaine could not afford to do.

First, she had lessons to teach. No matter if Severus thought her mad, she enjoyed teaching Potions. Of course, the sound of ladles scraping against cauldrons and the smell of burnt potions and melted pewter could not count as the best working environment, but everything was outweighed by the joy Morgaine could see in her students' eyes when they managed to carry out their assignments.

Second, there was Slytherin House, a slightly greater but by all means manageable challenge, even though Morgaine suspected that she had made herself quite unpopular as Head of House. The Quidditch season had started a week ago, and already during Gryffindor's first training session, some members of the Slytherin team had decided to improve their own chances by jinxing the Gryffindor Seeker's broom. Unfortunately for them, Madam Hooch had noticed. And even more unfortunate for them, Rolanda had handed over the punishment to Morgaine. Hence, the Slytherin team was now practising without a Chaser and a Beater as the two were serving nightly detentions. Certainly, that would make Slytherin lose their first match, but Morgaine did not care.

What she did care about, however, were the low whispers at the House table at meal times, and the small group of students that always kept to themselves in the common room. They might have thought that no one noticed, but they did not know that their Head of House had means to observe their every move. Morgaine had, however, not resorted to eavesdropping on their conversations. Yet.

And last but not least, there was Demeter. Morgaine was doing her best to keep a professional distance: while at Hogwarts, Demeter Snape was a student like any other, and Morgaine duLac was nothing more than her teacher. But secretly, Morgaine kept an extra close eye on the girl. As any mother, Morgaine could not help but worry. Did Demeter do her homework properly? Did she have friends? Did she manage to combine school work and leisure time in a way that benefited both her academic career and her social life? And how did her friendship with a second-year Slytherin influence her?

Had she not been convinced that it would hurt, Morgaine would have rolled her eyes at herself. What a hypocrite she was. Had she not told Severus off for condemning Melvin and Demeter's friendship? Had she not told him that it did not matter that the two were in rivalling Houses? And here she was now, having the exact same worries as he did.

Severus. Morgaine sighed once more and rubbed her tired eyes. She did not want to blame Severus, not really, but she could not deny that he – in a way – was responsible for both her headache and her state of mind.

It was all becoming too much. Being with Severus, being in the same room with the ghost of the man she had once loved – whom she still loved – and not being able to really be with him had started to cost Morgaine more strength than she possessed. Being with him had started to be almost more painful than being away from him. That was why she had suggested that she should move her study to the upper floor again. And Severus had not objected.

But ever since she had left the dungeons, Morgaine had not had a single whole night's sleep, food seemed to have lost its taste, and she felt like half a person, half a person with half a soul. The other half was still down in the dungeons firmly attached to Severus Snape. And Morgaine knew that she would have to sever their bond if she wanted to go on living. But she feared that she would not be able to live with the pain.

~ ~ ~

'She scores! She wins! And Melvin Riverbed's history!'

Demeter performed a little dance, waving her arms in the air and repeating over and over that she had beaten her Slytherin friend at Gobstones. Oh, she was pleased with herself and rightfully so. She had played her best game ever, and Melvin had not stood a chance.

'You've either been practising or you've received a bag of luck for your birthday,' Melvin pointed out and levitated the Gobstones back into the bag. He was smiling. For a Slytherin, he was taking his defeat rather well.

Demeter was smiling, too. And why would she not be? It was her twelfth birthday, the sun was shining and she had spent the whole day with her best friend. Those things alone were reason enough to be happy. Beating Melvin at Gobstones was just a bonus.

'What did you get for your birthday?' Melvin asked as they settled onto one of the stone benches in the rose garden.

'I got some Chocolate frogs from Livia and a packet of Sugar Quills from Sarah. One would think they are trying to make my teeth rot.' Demeter giggled and then raised the bottle she was holding up into the air. 'And, last but not least, I got a bottle of Pumpkin Pop from you.'

Melvin promptly blushed. 'My present isn't Pumpkin Pop,' he muttered. 'You don't think that I'd give you something that stupid, do you?'

Demeter couldn't help but grin as her friend's cheeks went from slightly pink to crimson. He was just too sweet.

'I just haven't had the opportunity to give you your present yet,' Melvin continued, straightening and obviously gathering all the courage he could muster. 'I didn't want to give it to you in the Great Hall with everyone watching. And, um, it's not much.'

He started rummaging in his pockets and soon held out a small bag, made of red silk. There was a distinct clinking noise as he put it onto Demeter's hand.

'What is it?' Demeter asked.

'You'll have to look for yourself,' Melvin answered. 'But I can promise that it won't make your teeth rot.'

Demeter untied the piece of golden string that held the bag together and emptied the contents onto her lap. Out rolled the most beautiful set of Gobstones she had ever seen.

'Melvin!' she gasped.

'You don't have to play with them, if you don't like them,' Melvin blurted out. 'In fact, this was a stupid idea. I should have bought you sweets.'

'More sweets?' Demeter asked with a cocked eyebrow. 'So you do want my teeth to rot?'

'No. No, of course not. I just meant I should ...'

'Melvin!' Demeter said firmly, and Melvin's eyes locked onto hers, his cheeks now as red as the silken bag Demeter was holding in her hand. 'Just shut up.'

Melvin's mouth opened once more, but he never had a chance to speak. And the bone crushing hug he received surprised him just as much as it surprised the girl who had wrapped her arms around his neck. So did the kiss she planted on his lips.

It was over in a heartbeat, and Demeter withdrew, her cheeks just as flushed as Melvin's. Neither of them really knew where to look. They seemed, however, to agree that looking at each other was far too embarrassing. Instead, Melvin fumbled with the left sleeve of his robe, and Demeter took to examining the gift she had received.

'I thought you might want to have your own set now that you are starting to get the hang of the game,' Melvin mumbled, still not looking up. 'And, um, as red and gold are your House colours ...'

'They are gorgeous,' Demeter interrupted, holding one of the stones against the sunlight. It was sparkling.

'You like them then?' Melvin asked, chancing to glance up from his sleeve.

'Now that was a stupid question,' Demeter pointed out drily, but immediately switched tones as she saw Melvin's hurt expression. 'I love them, Melvin,' she added sincerely. 'But you shouldn't have spent so much money on me.'

'I wanted to give you something special,' Melvin said quietly and once more cast down his eyes again.

Demeter bit her lip. Why was it that anything she said to Melvin seemed to come out wrong? She had just meant to convey that he did not need to buy her expensive gifts, and now it sounded as if she were scolding him.

She shifted uncomfortably and then carefully extended her had to touch Melvin's arm. 'Would you like to play another round? You know, to test the new set?'

Melvin neither answered nor looked up.

'I'll let you win,' Demeter added in a desperate attempt to safe the situation. If Melvin turned her down now, she would not know what to do.

But fortunately, Melvin Riverbed was a Slytherin. 'Don't you dare let me win,' he snarled. But when he looked up, he was grinning. 'I would just hate having to take your new stones away from you. Besides, they are red. I couldn't take them down to the dungeons anyway.'

They played, both laughing and joking, but only a few minutes into the game, Demeter noticed that they were not alone. One could have thought that it was just another shadow in the alcoves, but Demeter knew that particular shadow well enough by now to know that it was a ghost.

'I need to practise some more,' she told Melvin after he had defeated her quite spectacularly. 'I have to get used to the new stones.'

'We could always play another round,' Melvin suggested.

But Demeter shook her head. 'I'd rather not lose once more today, thank you very much. And besides, I happen to know that you have a Potions essay to write.'

Melvin wrinkled his nose slightly, but didn't argue. And as Demeter promised that she would play with him once more after dinner, he took his leave.

'You lost the game with your third stone,' Severus pointed out, drifting out of the shadows as Melvin had disappeared from sight. 'You played it too hard.'

'I know, sir,' Demeter answered, shielding her eyes from the sunlight with her hand. But even so, she could hardly make out the ghost as he was standing in the middle of the garden.

'You know and you still let it happen?'

Demeter felt herself blush. She knew that her father had been observing her play quite often over the last month, and he had given her some good tips the last time they had spoken. That she had lost against Melvin now seemed utterly embarrassing.

'Maybe you should try a different set of stones,' the ghost suggested. 'Would you please extend your hand?'

'Extend my hand?'

Severus cocked his eyebrow at the girl. 'I am able to Accio objects, Miss Snape,' he pointed out, 'but as I am but a ghost, I cannot catch them when they come flying. Now, if you would be so kind?'

Demeter did as she was told and extended her hand, curious to see her father do magic. She had heard the rumours that he could do it, despite him being a ghost, but she had not seen it herself.

'This might feel a bit uncomfortable,' Severus warned her as he moved closer. 'But for this spell to work and you to be able to catch the object, I have to stand very close to you when I cast the spell.'

Sure enough, her right hand and arm suddenly felt as if they had been plunged into a bucket full of ice. But Demeter did not care. She was too busy staring up at the ghost who was now standing so close to her that his left arm and her right took up the same space. They had never been that close before.

'Accio Gobstones.'

Severus cast the spell, and mere seconds later, an emerald green, crocheted bag zoomed onto Demeter's outstretched hand.

'Good catch,' Severus commended. 'Have you considered trying out as a Quidditch Seeker next year?'

'I think I'll stick with Gobstones,' Demeter replied somewhat absent-mindedly. The ghost had drifted away from her, and while her hand and arm still felt uncomfortably cold, she felt herself longing to be close to her father again.

Severus nodded in approval. 'A wise choice. The risk of falling off your broomstick is considerably smaller when playing Gobstones.'

Demeter snorted at his joke. 'I doubt I will ever fly well enough to play Quidditch anyway,' she admitted.

'You might possess so far unknown flying talents,' Severus pointed out but changed subjects before Demeter had a chance to ask him what he meant. 'Why do you not try out those stones?'

She untied the silver string and let the Gobstones roll onto the ground. They were emerald green, just like the bag, and sparkled silver in the sunlight.

'They belonged to my mother,' Severus explained. 'Your grandmother.'

Demeter looked up at her father. 'Did she teach you how to play?'

The ghost nodded. 'We used to play in the back yard of our house where no one could see us.'

'Where no one could see you?' Demeter repeated. 'How come?'

'Gobstones is a magical game. Magic is not to be performed in front of Muggles.'

'Muggles?' Demeter felt stupid repeating everything, but she was curious. Why would her father and her grandmother have needed to hide their magic from Muggles?

'I grew up in a Muggle neighbourhood,' the ghost replied calmly. Obviously, he did not mind her asking, and so Demeter pushed on.

'You know, I tried to read up on you,' Demeter explained almost apologetically, 'but the books in the library have almost no information about your private life or your childhood. Why did you grow up in a Muggle neighbourhood?'

'My father was a Muggle.'

'You're a half-blood?' The question escaped Demeter before she could stop herself, and she clasped her hands over her mouth.

'Does it matter?' Severus asked.

'No. I mean, yes. I mean, no. I mean, I've never thought about it. I just assumed ...'

'You assumed that a follower of the Dark Lord could be nothing else than a pure-blood?'

Demeter felt herself go pale. Whereas her father had been making funny remarks about Quidditch only some minutes ago, he now sounded dead-serious, and the look in his pale eyes was suddenly cold. Why ever had she opened her mouth? Now she had certainly insulted him.

But to her surprise, the ghost seemed calm. 'My father hated anything magic,' he explained, 'and he would daily remind us of it. Any slip-up was severely punished. And there was a time when I deeply resented the fact that my mother had married a Muggle. But I learnt that heritage does not matter. We all forge our own destiny. And what matters is not our blood status but the values we hold in our heart.'

Ghostly pale eyes locked onto blue ones, and Demeter's mind filled with hundreds of questions: What had made her father see that blood status did not matter? What values did he deem to be the most important? What had happened to her grandmother and her grandfather? But she did not dare to ask and kept her mouth shut lest she would once more say something stupid. Yet still, she somehow had the feeling that her father knew exactly what she wanted to ask.

'These are not topics suitable to discuss on a girl's twelfth birthday,' he pointed out and broke eye contact. 'I only came to find you in order to give you your birthday present.'

He inclined his head towards the emerald stones on the ground, and Demeter gasped. 'But those were your mother's.'

'And now they are yours, Demeter,' Severus declared. And before the girl got a chance to protest, he had disappeared.

~ ~ ~

Morgaine jerked awake, knocking over her ink bottle in the process. For a moment, she felt disoriented. Her desk was not a place she was used to waking up at. But the ink that started soaking through the third-year Potions essays made her soon snap out of her haze. So did the knocking at the door.

Quickly, Morgaine cast a Drying Spell on the spilt ink. She would attend to saving the essays later. The knocking at the door sounded too urgent to be ignored. To her surprise, the person knocking was no other than her daughter.

'Um, Professor,' Demeter started, 'I am having troubles with my Potions essay.'

Morgaine narrowed her eyes. Demeter having troubles with a Potions essay? Now that was a new one. So was Demeter calling her Professor when they were alone. But Morgaine decided to play along. She knew her daughter well enough to know that the girl surely had good reasons for her behaviour.

'It's about the use of unicorn hooves,' Demeter pressed on. 'I was wondering ...'

'Now, why don't you come inside, Miss Snape?' Morgaine suggested. 'I am sure we will find a solution to your problem.'

Demeter slunk inside, clutching her essay to her chest, and Morgaine carefully closed the door behind her before gesturing towards the sofa.

'Have a seat, Demeter,' she said, now deliberately using the girl's first name. 'And put that parchment away. We both know that you are not here because of your essay.'

Demeter's shoulders slumped several inches, and she lowered her head so her dark hair fell over her face. 'Melvin gave me a present today, a set of Gobstones,' she said quietly.

Morgaine bit her lip. She could put two and two together. She knew that Severus, too, had given the girl a set of Gobstones. But she decided to let Demeter talk.

'It's a beautiful set. Red and golden, Gryffindor House colours.'

'That is surely no reason to be upset,' Morgaine pointed out. Obviously, the girl was struggling, and an obvious statement like this might just help her to go on.

'I love the set. It's gorgeous. But ... Father gave me a set as well. And now I don't know which one to use.'

The words came tumbling over the girl's lips like water bursting through a broken dam, and as she looked up at her mother, Morgaine winced. The girl's eyes, that were an exact copy of her own, were glittering with tears.

Silently, Morgaine sat down beside Demeter and laid a comforting arm around her daughter's shoulders. 'Your father will understand if you choose Melvin's set. He knows how important friends are.'

'But I don't want to disappoint him!'

There was now a distinct note of desperation in Demeter's voice, and it cut right into Morgaine's heart. She knew the feeling far too well herself. But what hurt her the most was the fact that she had no advice to offer to her daughter. Wasn't that what a good mother was supposed to do?

'He won't be disappointed, little one,' she tried to convince Demeter as well as herself, although she did not know if it was the truth. With Severus Snape, one never knew.

And for the second time that day, Morgaine wondered if Severus' ghost still being at Hogwarts was a blessing or a curse.