Chapter 3 – Walking In The Midst Of Death

All canon characters belong to JKR.

Thank you to June for her help and beta work.

Chapter 3 – Walking In The Midst Of Death

All in all, it took Hermione twenty minutes to get herself settled for her morning. She had her coffee and toast, then came upstairs, brushed her teeth, and got dressed. During this time, Severus had decided to gather his old journals and scrolls that contained some early accounts of life amongst the ranks of Voldemort’s army.

She came out of the small closet after getting dressed, and found Severus staring ahead with a faraway look in his eyes.

“Professor?” she asked as she approached him. “Are you all right?”

He looked at her and shook his head.

“No, I am not.” He turned away from her and closed the journal that was lying on his lap.

“Is there anything I can do? Perhaps you wish to begin this another time,” she offered.

“No, Mrs. Krum. It matters not when we begin. The result will always be the same for me. There are so many things I wanted to forget. So many things I wanted to pretend I had never done. But I know that no amount of denial or hesitation will ever make my past transgressions go away.”

“I understand you regret those things, but the important thing is you did and do regret them. Many Death Eaters did not.”

He sighed heavily and stood.

“I suppose that counts for something,” he said as he crossed his arms and stared out into the lightly fogged street.

“Where would you like to begin?” Hermione sat at her desk and turned on her laptop computer. It was something Viktor had given her two years ago for Christmas. She’d used it to keep her ideas for potions she wanted to develop someday.

“Where all stories of heartache and anguish begin. At the beginning.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was born Severus Snape on January 9, 1960. His mother was a pureblood witch named Eileen Prince, and his father was a Muggle named Tobias Snape. His childhood was one of little happiness. What moments he could remember were few and far between. His father was ashamed of him and his mother for their magical ability. Many nights, young Severus would sit in the corner of his room, listening to the torment his father would inflict on his mother. Sometimes it was physical, many times it was verbal. Upon his eleventh birthday, he received his letter to Hogwarts. While his father did not approve, his mother was thrilled. She knew that her son was gifted, and sending him away would be the only way she could at least free one of them from the torment of living at home.

Severus spent his Hogwarts years absorbing everything he could learn. He was a sponge for knowledge. Much of his free time was spent studying spells and reworking them. He even became quite adept to creating his own spells and several potent hexes.

He made no friends. He considered all the other students as acquaintances. Many of them would take the same path he would in his later years.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Professor? Did all of your friends become Death Eaters?” asked Hermione.

“Having friends, Mrs. Krum, is something I have never been familiar with.” He thought back wistfully. “Save for one man, and you know what became of him.”

Hermione nodded and turned back to her keyboard, waiting for him to continue.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After completing his education at Hogwarts, Severus was offered an opportunity to join several of his former fellow students in a new movement. This was to be a movement that would free the wizarding world of Muggles. Severus despised his father. He often had visions of killing him with his bare hands. However, this hatred was never more strong than during his last year at Hogwarts, when he received an owl from his father simply stating, “Your mother is dead. Don’t bother to come home again.”

Perhaps this new movement would give Severus the opportunity to do just what he wanted to do for so long. He would make his father pay for making his life and his mother’s life miserable. He had kept his parentage a secret throughout his time at Hogwarts. He wondered if he would always be able to keep his secret from these people. He hoped he could.

On a dark Autumn afternoon in 1978, the rain beat down on the cobblestone street he and Lucius Malfoy walked on. They approached a large Gothic-style home and knocked on the door. They were granted entry and were guided into a room filled with other people. Many of the people Severus recognized, but many more he did not.

After waiting for several minutes, a man finally joined them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“When Voldemort entered that room, I felt something I had never in my life felt until then.” He looked at Hermione. “I felt I was in the presence of the devil himself. There was an aura of evil that emanated from that man. I could feel my blood chill the closer he came to me. It was as though my body was dying and I didn't even care. I was…mesmerized.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That first meeting with Voldemort was the beginning of the end for many Muggles and Muggle-borns. After the recruits had all received their mission statement, Voldemort dismissed them, but not before placing his hand on Severus’ shoulder and asking him to remain behind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“He knew about your parentage?” asked Hermione, looking up from her keyboard.

“Voldemort was an accomplished Legilimens. And at the time, I was just beginning my study in Occlumency. He knew from the moment he walked into that room that I was not a pureblood. I thought he would tell me that I would not be welcome there again. But he did something that no one until then had ever done.”

“And what was that?” asked Hermione.

“He accepted me as I was.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Voldemort confided in Severus that evening that he himself was also the product of a mixed marriage. He also offered Severus the opportunity to take revenge on his father, and that was an offer Severus could not refuse.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione stopped typing. Severus looked at her from the chair next to the small fireplace.

“You killed your father?” she asked softly.

He said nothing.

“I found some other notes earlier,” he said, handing her some parchments. “You can take them for now and type them into your computer. The sun has been up for a while now. You should see to Viktoria.” He then disappeared.

Hermione felt numb. Yes, he was a Death Eater in his younger years; yes, he had killed people, and he had been cruel to her and her friends at Hogwarts. Severus Snape was not the lonely misunderstood hero in fairy tales. What you saw was pretty much what you got with him. Yet she never even considered that fact he could have killed his own father.

Still deep in the back of her mind, she could not condemn him for that. Much as she hated to admit it, she had also never considered the possibility of a husband killing his own wife, a father rejecting his own child. Tobias Snape probably deserved everything his son gave him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not sure when I will be able to get the next one up, but I'll try to get something for you by the end of the week.

In the meantime, you can also have a look at this lovely drawing Marquise made for me. This is for the scene in chapter two.