Part 5

Part Five

Harry had smelled of perfume when he'd returned home the night before. Severus had noticed the scent straightaway, as it was the cloying type that tried to incapacitate those around the wearer. So Ginny had owled Harry and requested that he meet her for a tryst, Severus surmised. He knew it was unreasonable to feel any anger about that, but he did feel a little annoyance.

They'd nearly shared an intimate moment, and if the owl hadn't appeared at that moment, they would have. And what had happened next? Harry had fled to his lover's arms. Had he not felt strange about that? Or was it that the almost-kiss meant nothing to him, just something that had almost happened but hadn't? "Or," Severus grumbled, "I'm the only one being ridiculous and reading more into it than what there actually is."

Severus retrieved a teacup from the cupboard for himself and for Harry, knowing it wouldn't be long before he was joined for breakfast. He'd already decided the course of conversation he'd have with Harry, as he wanted to put space between them without it straining their newfound friendship.

The shuffling of feet and loud yawning alerted him to Harry's presence. "Morning," his housemate mumbled as he tried to pat down his messy hair.

"Where are your glasses?" Severus asked.

"Ah, broke them last night and haven't fixed them yet," was the sleepy reply. "Bloody tired this morning. Oh, thanks," he said as he accepted a steaming cup from Severus.

"You're welcome." There was silence until Severus spoke again. "When are you going to do something productive?"

"Such as?"

"Work, perhaps?"

"I'd originally planned a few months off before I started my Auror training anyway."

"Why do I sense a 'but' in there?"

"Because," Harry said after sipping his tea, "why would I want to work for the Ministry when they were being so unfair about you?"

Severus hadn't expected this. He'd simply thought that Harry was being lazy and never dreamed that he was the reason behind the boy's lack of employment. It humbled him slightly. "You don't have to put off your career because of me."

"It's not just that. My whole life I've seen people getting pushed around by others, have been pushed around by others. It's time for a change, Severus. I can't be a part of the Ministry until there truly is change." He took a deep drink from his cup before continuing. "Oh, sure, they're trying to do right by us now, and yeah, they are getting to the bottom of the corruption there, but what about you? They weren't even going to give you a fair trial just to save face."

With each word Harry spoke, Severus began to feel something tugging at him. "You've changed," he pointed out.

"So have you."

"Perhaps," he allowed.

"No, it's true. You're really not the person I thought you were."

"Harry, why? Why are you really doing this?" Unconsciously, they'd both leaned closer while talking. Severus sat back when he noticed this, not wanting anything to happen...not that it would, but just in case.

"You're so much more than the bitter, cruel man I thought you to be. I can't explain it exactly, and I know that when you gave those memories to me, it made things clear. It was like pieces of a puzzle fit together." Harry smiled. "You knew my mum better than anyone else I know, and she knew you as you truly are and..."

"So you are using me to find out more about your mother?"

"NO! That's not what I mean."

"What then?"

"I think that maybe I'm finally seeing you the way she saw you." His green eyes lowered. "And I like it. I want to know you better."

This had gone far enough. "About last night..."

"Don't," Harry said, holding up his hand to stop him. "That was my fault."

"How so? I believe we both..."

"And I told her when I went that she can't just call on me like that, you know? We've got to keep up appearances, or else you'll never be free."

What the hell is he on about? Is he not talking our 'almost kiss'? Severus felt foolish suddenly. It was obvious that Harry hadn't given it another thought. In fact, had he imagined it?

"I have someone I'd like to see as well, but you don't see me traipsing about," Severus snapped.

"I'll be more careful," Harry said quietly. "Who is it?" he asked a moment later. "The one you see sometimes. You'd said she lives in Hogsmeade."

"That's none of your concern, now is it?"

Harry nodded. "You're right." He downed the rest of his tea with a slight grimace and said, "I told Hermione I'd go round today and help over at Grimmauld Place. Looks like the Doxies are trying to move back into the drawing room draperies."

"Fine, fine," Severus said, waving him away.

---------------------------------------------------------

Long after he left Spinner's End, Harry still felt as though he'd once again disappointed Severus. He supposed he had been selfish, doing mostly as he pleased...sneaking off a few times to see Ginny, leaving the house to run errands, and doing as he pleased inside the house while home. Severus hadn't left once since they'd brought him home from St. Mungo's.

The scroll of parchment Hermione had handed him earlier suddenly felt very heavy in his pocket. He'd have to insist that Severus accompany him...even though the gathering was to be held at the Ministry. It would do the man some good to get out of his home, and it would be their first public appearance. Maybe if there was a small article on them in the Prophet, people would stop owling them and stop speculating on the true nature of their relationship.

The last owl he'd received came back to mind, angering him. The writer had insisted that Severus was evil, had placed him under a spell, and had pointed out all of his husband's shortcomings.

Harry smirked. Husband, how strange that sounds and yet... oddly okay.

"What are you laughing at?" Ron asked darkly from across the room, his face covered in a black inky substance.

"You," Harry lied smoothly. "Ever thought we'd be doing this again?"

"No," Ron said glumly. "And Hermione's worse than Mum was about all this cleaning shite. It's your fault, you know."

"What? How?"

"She's been in the cleaning mood ever since we helped you with Snape's house."

"Oh, sorry, mate," Harry commiserated, "but that place definitely needed it."

Ron nodded. "How's that coming along, you and him?"

"Not bad. Sometimes we get on, sometimes we have a row... but oi, nobody's dead, right?"

"I wanted to tell you something, so I expect now's a good a time as any," Ron began quietly, looking away.

Harry stiffened, certain it had to do with Ginny. "All right."

"I'm not going to be an Auror."

"Why not?"

"I want to help George out. Since Fred's not there, I've been helping out, and I found that it suits me. I mean, I can still do the Auror thing later if this doesn't work out. Kingsley told me the door would always be open."

"I don't see anything wrong with that."

"You don't? I thought you'd be right mad about it."

"Until things truly change with the Ministry, I'm not going to be an Auror either."

"Wicked. Great minds thinking alike."

"Great minds, eh?" Hermione said, breezing into the room. "One of you is covered in Doxy dung..."

"It's not dung!" Ron interrupted hotly. "A few of them flew in with a goblet of... something and bung it at me!"

"Might as well be dung, it stinks," she replied with a smile, "and the other's just standing there, looking about blankly, his wand pointing uselessly to the floor." She flicked her own wand and cleaned Ron's face up. "At least they didn't get any of their venom on you."

"Yeah, lucky me," Ron retorted.

"There's another spray bottle of Doxycide on the desk there if you need it." She turned to Harry. "Come along. I want to show you something."

"All right," Harry agreed, shrugging at Ron apologetically as he followed her out.

Once alone in Hermione's room, Harry asked, "What do you want to show me?"

She said nothing, simply frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You... got a new hair cut?" he asked uncertainly.

"Last week, but that's not what's wrong," she said.

"What then?"

"Ginny."

"What about her?" he asked, tensing up. What could have happened since the night before? "Is she okay?"

"No," Hermione said primly. "She claims to be, but I can tell. She's listless most of the time, and hearing your name makes her sad, though she tries to hide it."

"This is a hard situation for both of us, Hermione."

"You're taking things much better because this was your idea," she said accusingly. "Besides, you only see her for a few minutes at a time, so you don't see what I see."

"Can't you just mind your own business?"

"Would you...if this was the other way around? What if I'd married Snape to keep him out of Azkaban? Wouldn't you be doing the same thing if you saw Ron affected so badly?"

Harry nodded and looked down. "I expect I would."

"You've proven your point, Harry. I don't think that..."

"You don't read the owls we get. You don't hear the Howlers. You don't have Kingsley Flooing in to give you the progress, or lack of, every day." He turned away from her. "It's not enough. Not yet."

"You don't owe him your life, Harry," she said smartly. "What are you going to do if this takes ten years?"

"Then it just does!" he yelled.

"And Ginny's supposed to wait that long."

He sighed. "It won't go that long. Just a few more months or so, really. Maybe a year."

She stamped her foot impatiently. "If you love her, how could you ask this of her?"

"Oi! She's the one who said she'd wait for me as long as it took! If she'd asked me to not go through with it, do you think that I could have?"

"How could she have asked that of you? It was her father's idea!"

"I'm out of here," he said angrily. "I deal with enough shite on a daily basis. I don't need it from you, too." As he opened the door, he said, "I'm your friend, too, Hermione. Funny how you don't seem to care about what's going on with me though."

"What is then?" she asked, hurriedly following him down the stairway.

"Doesn't matter. Forget it."

"Harry, you..."

He quickly Disapparated before she could finish. What he'd wanted to say to her was that he was confused and that he loved Ginny but there was something about Severus he couldn't seem to pull away from.

Maybe it would have been better to end things with her before this happened, he thought glumly, but I swear I never planned on this happening.

Was there a 'this' though? Severus hadn't mentioned the fact that they'd nearly kissed when Ginny's letter had shown up. It seemed the man was trying to act as though it hadn't happened.

"Did it?" Harry asked himself. "I didn't imagine that." Frustrated, he strode to the doorway of his new home and steeled himself for the row he was sure was coming, for he would have to insist that Severus accompany him to the Ministry function.

The house was quiet, as was normal, when he entered. "Severus?" he called out, finding it odd he wasn't sitting before the fireplace reading, which was his favorite pastime. After checking the rooms on the first floor, he trekked upstairs to see if he was up there.

Severus' bedroom was empty, as was the spare room that had once belonged to the Snapes. Puzzled, Harry made for the doorway that led to the tiny attic, but he stopped just outside the door to his own bedroom, hearing soft snores from within. He peeked in to find that Severus was lying on his bed, sound asleep.

Unable to help himself, he walked forward and looked down into the man's sleeping face. It wasn't as harsh when he wasn't guarding his expressions. It hadn't been lost on him that Severus had been taking better care with his appearance after the row they'd had where Harry had mentioned what was lacking. That had been uncalled for, but it had brought about surprising results. Snape already looked healthier and younger. In his sleep, it was even more noticeable. The scowl lines were smooth, his expression had relaxed, making his nose seem less hooked, and his thin lips were slightly open, as if inviting him. What would Severus do if he woke up to a kiss?

Harry nearly choked. What the hell had happened to him? He'd lived for years in his dorm rooms at Hogwarts with other blokes, and he'd never once watched any of them sleep in such a way, let alone thought about kissing them. Hell, he'd practically lived with Ron for the last few years, and the close proximity did nothing to him. He'd even stayed alone with Hermione in a tent for weeks, and he'd never once thought about crossing the line. To be fair, he supposed he only ever thought of them the way he'd think of siblings, but... why Snape? Why now? Was it really some misguided loyalty because Snape had once loved his mother?

It seemed to be more than that. Harry felt disappointed in himself. Ginny and he had been made for each other. He'd never seen it until his sixth year, but once his eyes had been opened, he knew he'd never want any other girl in his life. She didn't deserve this, however. No one did. Technically, he'd done nothing wrong, but part of him wanted to. And the things he thought about lately...usually just before succumbing to sleep.

What could he do about it? How did someone fight a growing attraction to his spouse? It shouldn't be too hard. This is Severus Snape I'm dealing with. The man probably came in here to devise a way to be rid of me and just happened to fall asleep in my bed... holding my pillow gently.

No.

He knew better than that. Snape felt it, too, whatever this was that was developing between them, but he seemed to want to fight it. Well, aside from the fact that he's sleeping in my bed. But when awake, the man made an effort to keep things friendly, if one could call it that, only. Harry would try as well. He couldn't do this to Ginny. Quietly, he backed out of the room and went downstairs to prepare lunch.