Beginning

Chapter 11: Beginning

I heard the sounds of breakfast preparations as soon as I awoke, and it prompted a wide grin to spread across my face. Over the past two weeks, Remus had risen early each morning to prepare breakfast for us. I'd made my own breakfasts since leaving home for college, and I found this daily ritual to be something of a treat.

Our first morning together, I awoke to find him working happily in the kitchen, brewing tea and trying to scratch up some breakfast with a combination of magic and ordinary cooking skills. Initially I'd protested that he didn't have to go to these lengths, but rather quickly I found that Remus derived a lot of satisfaction from performing this simple chore for me. He might never be able to provide me with jewels and furs, but making my breakfast was a means of demonstrating his love for me. I decided that it was a luxury I could live with.

There were footsteps in the hallway. I expected Remus to stick his head in the door and announce that breakfast was ready. Instead, he nudged the door open with an elbow and came into the bedroom, a tray in his hands.

"I could have come in there to eat," I pointed out.

"I know." Remus waited while I scooted myself upright in bed, then placed the tray on my lap. "I wanted to surprise you."

"You did. You're spoiling me," I said, surveying the tray with delight: besides the tea and toast, there was a votive candle from the living room and a water glass filled with half a dozen yellow rosebuds. The roses looked vaguely familiar, I thought. "Are these...?"

"From the bush by the front door, yeah. I'm sure the landlord won't notice that a few of them are gone," Remus said, climbing into bed next to me. "Anyway, you're on your own for breakfast tomorrow, so I thought I'd make this one just a bit special."

I laughed. "You're a treasure. I'm so glad I snagged you."

His smile was guarded. "We'll see how glad you are tomorrow morning."

I pounced on a piece of toast and began to nibble. "I keep telling you, it won't make a bit of difference. I'm going to marry you, Remus. Get over it."

Remus' only answer was to change the subject. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Well," I mumbled as I chewed, "I thought I'd apply at a couple more hospitals."

"I thought you said that you'd already received an offer."

"I did, but that doesn't mean I'm going to take it. I want to see what else is out there."

Remus had been greatly impressed by the idea that nurses were in demand. For a man who was virtually unemployable in his own culture, the notion that more than one place might want to hire me was a revelation.

The day after my return from the Burrow, I visited the British Nursing Society and applied for my U.K. registration. Once again, timing was everything: Britain was just as short on nurses as the United States, and the government had recently initiated a campaign to recruit nurses from other countries. As a result, I was received with open arms. The eager welcome meant that I could expect to be certified in three months, as opposed to the usual six. I wasn't complaining; when it came to bureaucratic time frames, three months was positively expeditious. I silently thanked Marvy for her intervention once again and began to investigate job openings at various hospitals.

Another benefit to the government-sponsored recruitment push was that a work visa was part of the package. Again, this meant a shortened wait: in legalese, 'brief' as opposed to 'interminable'.

That was a good thing. Ordinarily, Remus and I could have married, and as the wife of a British citizen, I would have been entitled to remain in the country. But Remus was part of the wizarding world and 'off the grid', so to speak. I could argue my point until I was blue in the face, but since the British Muggle government had absolutely no record of his existence, I was not legally allowed to remain in Britain past the terms of my entry visa. Thank God for the nursing shortage.

"How about you?" I asked. "What do you need to do today?"

Remus shrugged. "Other than take my final dose of Wolfsbane potion? Nothing much."

Several times over the past few days, I watched as Remus hauled out a cauldron, carefully measured out a gelatinous mass from a jug, and heated it for a prescribed amount of time. The bright yellow jug had the words Property of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries stenciled on it. A week ago, when Remus had prepared to take it to the wizarding hospital for his monthly refill, I'd offered to go with him.

"There's nothing to see," he said, shaking his head. "I go in, give the jug to a Healer, and get a full one in exchange."

"But I'd love to see what the hospital is like," I protested.

"They wouldn't let you past the front door, Kailin. If would be different if you had genuine business there. They don't take kindly to Muggle sightseers, even if you are a medical professional in your world."

"Why are the jars bright yellow?" I asked out of curiosity.

Remus snorted. "So we're easily identified, of course. You should see the people scatter when one of us walks in."

"Do the staff treat you well?"

"For the most part," he said, shrugging. "A few act as though they'd rather be on Mars than in the same room with me."

"Why can't you make your own Wolfsbane Potion?" I found it curious that he had studied Potions for years at Hogwarts, yet was reliant on St. Mungo's to provide it. "Is it really tricky or too costly or something?"

"A bit tricky, yes," Remus replied. "It's still a fairly new potion. I suppose in the future they'll refine it so that it's not so difficult to do, but for now it's best left to the professionals. The thing is, Kailin, it's not like making Pepper-Up, where if you don't do it quite right, you're left with the sniffles and sneezes. One little error with the Wolfsbane and you're no better off than if you hadn't taken it at all."

I understood. The absolute worst that could happen, in a werewolf's eyes, was to receive a bad dose of Wolfsbane when you were expecting an uneventful transformation.

"Well," I said now as I wiped toast crumbs off my fingers with a paper napkin, "would you like to do a little flat-hunting today?"

Remus shook his head. "No. It's sort of useless to attempt anything productive. Even after all these years, you know what's coming and you want to mentally prepare for it."

I nodded. My monthly routine, then, would not include amusing Remus on the day of the full moon in an attempt to keep his mind off it. "What will you need tonight? Physically, that is?"

"A large bowl," he said quietly. "For water. And some newspapers, to spread on the floor. In case I need to--well, you know."

Remus left the sentence hanging there. I nodded, keeping my facial expression carefully neutral.

After breakfast I showered and dressed. Remus and I planned some menus for the coming week and then went out to buy some groceries. Lunch came and went. I settled down for the afternoon with a book, while Remus killed time by doing a bit of laundry. About four p.m., he heated the Wolfsbane Potion and drank the final dose.

"Can't they do something about the taste?" I asked, grimacing in sympathy as he swallowed the foul-tasting stuff.

"Sugar renders it ineffective. Besides, I think it's one more way of punishing us for being werewolves."

"What about supper?" I checked my watch. "I don't know what time you need to--uh--do what you need to do."

"I really shouldn't eat anything," Remus said, shaking his head. "Food isn't supposed to affect the potion, but I don't care to take any chances. Anyway, I don't have much of an appetite right now."

"Would you like to play checkers or something, or--"

Remus laughed and pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry, Kailin. I know you want to do something to help, but believe me, there's nothing you can do."

"But I'm a nurse. I'm used to doing something to help."

He kissed me on the forehead. "You've already done more than you can know."

Half an hour later, Remus kissed me goodnight and locked himself in the second bedroom.

Although the moon was rising, it wasn't yet bedtime. I watched television for a bit, my ears straining to hear any sounds coming from the second bedroom, all the while wanting to hear and yet hoping I wouldn't. When I finally turned off the TV and went around the flat turning off lights, I heard a snuffling sound at his door, as though a large animal behind it was trying to catch my scent. Then, as I lay in bed, I heard the muffled clacking of paws on the hardwood floors. I could also detect a faint odor in the flat, no more so than that found in houses with pets, but clear evidence that another creature was sharing my living space. I lay there for a very long time, thinking there's a werewolf down the hall and reminding myself that I would be doing this once a month and sometimes twice, for the rest of my life.

The next thing I knew, sunlight was streaming in my windows and driving me from my bed. I padded down the hall to the kitchen and ran into Remus, who was heading for the bathroom.

He looked hideous: his eyes were red-rimmed and his unshaven cheeks gaunt. He had a blanket slung around him since he was apparently naked underneath and was hunched over as though in pain. A downy layer of fuzz clung to what skin I could see, and the faint odor I'd noticed hours earlier was now a distinctly feral scent that quite literally made my hair stand on end.

"Good morning," I said, my voice forcibly bright and cheery.

"Morning," he mumbled and pushed past me.

I went on to the kitchen and began to make a pot of coffee; this called for something stronger than plain old English tea. Moments later, I heard Remus shuffle back to the bedroom and close the door. As the coffee perked, I wondered what to do next. I knew that I should probably leave him alone until he was ready to emerge, but quite frankly, I wanted to get a closer look at him. I sat and drank my coffee and debated, finally deciding to leave him be. He would come out when he was ready, I told myself.

But when I passed his door on the way back down the hall, curiosity got the better of me. I summoned my courage and tapped lightly on the door.

"Remus?"

There was a faint sound that might have been a response. I tried the door and found it unlocked. Quietly, I opened it and peeked in.

He was laying on his stomach on the bed, arms hugging the pillow beneath his head. At the sound of the door, he opened his red-rimmed eyes and regarded me blearily.

"Need to sleep," he mumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry--I just thought I'd see if you needed anything," I said quickly.

"No... Just sleep..."

"Okay. Well, I'll be in and out today. There are a few errands I need to run." I was starting to babble. Time to go.

Another grunt. On impulse, I crossed the room, leaned down, and holding my breath against the wild odors. kissed the top of his head. Suddenly, Remus' shoulders started to shake. For one dreadful moment, I thought he was having a seizure of some sort. And then, I realized that the accompanying rumble in his throat was nothing more than laughter. I backed away, perplexed.

"You've made your point, Kailin," he chortled from the depths of the pillow. "Now get out. I stink and you know it."

"Yes, sir." I grinned and headed for the door.

By the next morning, Remus was his old self again. I turned the tables and brought him breakfast in bed.

"How are you feeling?" I inquired solicitously.

"Like I've gone through a case of Firewhiskey, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm used to it."

"Good," I said, "because I thought maybe we could talk about setting a date for the wedding."

He'd been about to take a sip of tea, and now he set the cup down abruptly, sloshing the hot liquid onto his toast.

"Are you certain?"

I shrugged. "Like Molly said: you take your potion, lock yourself up, and sleep it off for a day. Is two weeks from now too soon?"

Remus stared at me, stunned. "Uh--no,..."

"Good. You get a message to Molly and Arthur when you're feeling up to it, and I'll get the want ads and start looking for flats."

* * *

Molly Weasley gave me a crash course in wizarding weddings. There were, she told me, two parts to the ceremony: the legal contract, which actually bound us as husband and wife, and the celebratory Gathering afterwards. The contract portion was a simple matter of going to the Ministry's Registry Office in Diagon Alley, filling out a form, and having it witnessed. The second part of the wedding, the Gathering, sounded much like the usual Muggle receptions I had been to, except that it began with a declaration of vows in front of our guests. Molly insisted that we hold the Gathering at the Burrow, and I didn't argue with her. If the guest list was to be comprised entirely of wizards, then my wedding reception should be held on wizarding turf.

My only regret was that Grandpa Billy, bless his heart, couldn't come. He was thrilled when I called to tell him of my engagement. Marvy would have been happy, he said, so happy that her life had come full circle in this way. But coming to the wedding was not an option, no matter how much I begged him. His hip was bothering him to the point where he'd be needing surgery, and a long plane ride was out of the question. Besides, he said, he didn't even have a passport. I lamented the fact to Remus, who batted around the idea of finding some wizarding solution to the problem. I blanched at the idea.

"You can't fly him across the ocean on a broomstick!" I protested, aghast.

Remus laughed and reassured me that he was thinking along the lines of a temporary, magically produced passport. I called Billy back at once, but he thanked me for the offer and said that his hip still hurt him too much to travel, and could I please send him some pictures of the wedding? He'd always liked the way Marvy's wizard pictures had waved at him. I could only shake my head at the bizarre way my two worlds had come together.

And so, on a lovely August day, Remus and I went to the nearest Official Registry and completed the form which legalized our union. The form had spaces for our names, nationalities and wizarding status (Kailin Curtis, American Muggle; Remus Lupin, British wizard, half-blood), and among a hundred other strange questions, a place to indicate whether either of us possessed any magical disabilities.

"What are magical disabilities?" I teased. "If you break your arm and can't use your wand, is that considered a magical disability?"

Remus wasn't smiling. "No," he said flatly. "But being a werewolf is."

If I found that appalling, I was shocked when the registry woman at the counter took one look at our completed application, gave Remus a withering glare, and demanded to know if his data in the Werewolf Registry was up-to-date.

"Yes. It is," he replied.

"You realize that half-humans are required to provide change-of-address information," she continued coldly.

I gasped aloud. Remus glanced at me and shook his head in warning. "I'm maintaining my current address for the time being."

"I see." The woman pursed her lips and scanned the rest of the form. Eventually she decided that everything was in order.

"Sign here," she ordered, handing Remus a quill and turning the parchment toward us.

We each signed the form--I'd practiced using a quill so I wouldn't be all thumbs--and the woman witnessed it. Then, giving us rather half-hearted congratulations, she summarily dismissed us and we turned to go.

"Is that what you face all the time?" I hissed, furious at the woman's rude behavior.

"No, it's usually worse," Remus said matter-of-factly.

"But 'half-human'?"

He sighed. "Just leave it, Kailin. It's the way things are, and I'm used to it. Anyway, don't you want to kiss me or anything? We're married now, you know."

"Of course I do," I said sheepishly. In my anger, I'd forgotten that small fact. Making sure that the nasty registry woman at the counter could still see us plainly, I threw myself into my husband's arms and gave him a long, wet, sensually satisfying kiss. The woman, I noticed as Remus took my arm and escorted me outside, looked utterly revolted.

"You do like to make your point, don't you?" he said, chuckling.

I was immensely pleased with myself. "I hope she loses her lunch over it."

* * *

The air was warm and the sky blue and cloudless as we stood, several hours later, in the Weasleys' field and exchanged our commitment vows. Remus had asked Harry Potter to stand with him, the next best thing to having James Potter and Sirius Black there. It seemed only appropriate for me to ask Hermione Granger to be my witness, given the fact that she was Muggle-born and had been responsible for spilling the beans about Remus.

Albus Dumbledore stood with the four of us under an enormous floating wreath of flowers and ribbons, asking what promises we wished to make to each other. Remus declared me to be a precious gift of which he was undeserving and promised to protect and love and honor me with his life. I swore to share my life, my love and my earthly possessions with him for the remainder of my days. And the assortment of witches and wizards from the Order of the Phoenix raised their glasses to us in salute.

At my request, and to Remus' surprise, Arthur Weasley proposed a toast to loved ones present only in our hearts. And so we toasted Marva McClain Mitchell and Sirius Black, and quick tears had filled Remus' eyes as glasses were raised once more.

Toasts and sentiment behind us, the party began in earnest. Molly, in her role as hostess and proxy mother of the bride, was having the time of her life. I had exchanged quite a few pounds for galleons at Gringotts to enable her to buy sufficient provisions, and as I watched her load the serving table with mountains of food, it seemed she had cooked for a small army. I'd been concerned all week that I was overworking her, but she merely laughed at me and confided that she hoped this would give her son Bill some ideas. He and his French girlfriend were getting on well, and she was itching for some grandchildren.

The afternoon was warm and lovely, and everybody seemed to relax and enjoy themselves when they weren't discussing the latest news of the war. At one point, I passed a table where Minerva McGonagall was in an intense conversation with Arthur Weasley. From what I could tell, the topic was the release from prison, just that morning, of one of Voldemort's followers.

"Disgusting," she muttered. "The Wizengamot needs a complete overhaul. It's bad enough that he's out of prison. How can they say he wasn't guilty?"

"You know how, Minerva," Arthur said darkly. "The system is full of great bloody holes if you have deep enough pockets or the right connections."

"It's ridiculous, trying to fight a war against what's obviously evil without having to fight the system, too." Minerva spotted me just then and brightened considerably. "Kailin, you look absolutely lovely today, have I told you that yet?"

She had, but I suspected that the latest compliment stemmed from a desire to change the subject. I'd found that details of the wizarding war were generally not discussed in front of me. Even Remus didn't give me much more than a filtered version of events. I don't think that it was due to a lack of trust because I was a Muggle, but rather because I hadn't been around long enough to deserve a full accounting or appreciate the implications.

Arthur Weasley excused himself to refill his plate, and I took his seat. "Thank you, Minerva. I'm so glad you could come today."

"Well, given the war, these opportunities to socialize and have fun are few and far between. I think everyone appreciates it."

I understood what she meant. Only two nights ago, another Hogwarts student's family was attacked. This time, however, the Order learned of the impending raid and whisked the Muggle-born father to safety with only minutes to spare. Everyone was on edge, wondering who would be targeted next.

"What you've done is wonderful," she went on.

"What I've done?" I asked in surprise. "What have I done?"

"You've married in the middle of a war, of course. It reminds us how to celebrate life in the midst of great difficulties. And best of all, you've given Remus Lupin hope." Minerva leaned over and solemnly placed a hand on my arm. "Good show."

I grinned. The usual staid Professor McGonagall had been enjoying Molly's special punch quite thoroughly. I hadn't asked what was in it.

"Thank you," I said, patting her hand. "My grandparents did the same, and it worked quite well for them."

"Well, I salute you and Remus. And your grandparents," Minerva added kindly. She peered down her nose at the gold band on my finger. "Lovely ring."

"It belonged to Remus' mother," I said, watching the sunlight glint off the braided gold. As wedding rings went, it was completely unpretentious. It contained no precious stones and was rather narrow, the braiding being the only aspect to lend it an unusual touch. But it was, Remus had told me, quite literally all he had to offer me, and for that reason alone I adored it.

"Will you be going on a wedding trip?"

"No. We've just found a flat, and we need to set up housekeeping."

"Of course. Your own home! I'm sure Remus must be simply delighted."

"He is," I agreed, smiling at the memory.

We discovered the flat on Bannister Row only two days ago. It was sunny and pleasant, not too large and not too small, with two bedrooms. The landlord was an Indian gentleman by the name of Mr. Najib, and noting that Remus and I were engaged, made certain to point out how suitable the second bedroom would be for a nursery. Poor man. If only he knew that we were more concerned with housing a werewolf once a month.

"You know, Kailin," Minerva went on, "I've known Remus since he was a first year, and I have to tell you that this is the happiest I've seen him since his school years. He's always been a good man, a pleasant man, but now when he smiles, it reaches his eyes. Do you know what I mean?"

"I do." The general air of sadness that used to surround Remus Lupin was gone.

"He finally has a chance for a normal life. That's no small accomplishment for a werewolf, you know."

As the party wore on, I found myself studying the guests, many of whom I'd never met until today. Witches and wizards could be an odd lot, I thought, but then the same could be said for some Muggles. What a strange world I'd happened upon.

A lot of brides, I suspected, spent part of their wedding days wondering what their lives would be like a year into the future. Would a child be on the way? The new house under construction? Would the husband's big job promotion come through?

I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to contemplate my future, other than to hope that Remus and I were still alive, still untouched by the horrors of Lord Voldemort. Yes, I had definitely found my adventure in Britain.

And I would have it no other way.

Author's Note: This ends Part 1 of I Married a Werewolf. It's not the end of the story, however. In the next part (a one-shot), Kailin meets up with the world of the Dark.

I also need to credit an excellent story at Fanfiction.net called "The Summer of the Phoenix", by JolieBlack. She was the one who came up with the idea of Remus living in 'welfare housing', as well as St. Mungo's dishing out the Wolfsbane Potion.