Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Disclaimer: Alas, no money for me.

Trials are all the same, long and tedious, and Snape's trial was much the same as any other. It had taken nearly a year for them to bring him to trial after dealing with all the minor players first. His deeds and personality were held up to scrutiny by one and all. There were the witnesses for and against, the interrogation and cross-examination. Through it all, Severus sat stony faced, watching his life pass through the courtroom. He gazed at his knees or up at the ceiling, and when he felt really bored, he counted the wooden panels on the courtroom walls.

He listened distractedly to the evidence. It was his life; he knew it well, and with the use of Veritaserum no-one could tell any lies about him. He was pretty sure of the outcome of the trial, so why waste any more time? Stretching out his long legs, he leaned his head back against the wooden bench. The restraints tightened a little on his arms and body, but not enough to concern him.

Eventually, it was the turn of the Golden Trio.

Harry Potter gave his testimony. Heads nodded, and lips pursed as the members of the Wizengamot heard about Snape's love for Lily Evans and his lifelong protection of her orphaned son. Dumbledore had promised not to tell anyone, but Potter had no such compunction. Around the room, eyes brimmed with tears as Harry Potter thanked his ex-professor for everything he had done. Snape glared at the faded scar on Harry's forehead, avoiding looking at Potter's eyes so he wouldn't be reminded of Lily. He did miss her, even after all the arguments and all these years, and he deeply regretted not being able to save her.

Weasley's speech was lamentable. It was full of stammering and blushing, a host of ums and ers, and very little content. Snape could hardly refrain from sneering and rolling his eyes.

The sneer only increased when Granger was called to the stand. What would that little know-it-all have to offer in his defence? He wasn't even going to bother listening, but something in the tone of her voice as she checked whether stored memories were acceptable snagged his attention. His gaze was drawn to the self-assured young woman who stood watching him from the witness stand. He expected another maudlin rendition of Professor Snape was so mean to me, but really he has a heart of gold under his dark exterior. What he got caught him by surprise.

Her eyes never left his face as she announced she would be providing the testimony of the werewolf, the late Remus Lupin, in defence of his best friend, Severus Snape. Shocked murmurs rippled around the room, and the drowsing audience sat up to pay attention. Snape's cheeks flushed a little, and his pulse skipped with uncertainty.

With an assured tone, Miss Granger advised the court of her friendship with Remus Lupin through his time as a teacher and, subsequently, as co-members of the Order of the Phoenix. She explained how he had approached her and requested she store his memories, to be used in the event they could help his friend, Severus Snape.

Severus looked down at his hands where they were gripping his knees. He wondered what kind of memories the mongrel had passed on. Please, don't let it be any of those daft drunken escapades of their youth. He nearly snorted at the thought and gripped his knees harder.

Granger's clear voice reiterated Snape's role as a double agent, a protector of Hogwarts' students in general and of Harry Potter in particular. She then enlightened the Wizengamot to Snape's befriending of, and caring for, the unwanted werewolf through his transition from school pupil to Death Eater. A few gasps followed that statement. Then, she divulged the truth about Snape's support of Lupin throughout his hard life after school, working against prejudice towards his friend, his role in modifying Wolfsbane and his efforts to improve the lives of werewolves, even though he never downplayed their potentially dangerous nature.

"Why would Lupin give you his memories, Miss Granger?" an ancient witch asked.

"I don't know," she replied, looking a little puzzled as the effects of Veritaserum ensured she told the truth.

"What did he tell you, my dear?"

"Remus said he couldn't explain because it was too complicated. He knew I would survive and he would not, and he needed me to help his mate."

The words rushed out as she looked pleadingly at Snape, whose head snapped up to stare at her. She continued to hold his gaze as she was thanked for the testimony and dismissed from the stand. Then, she was surrounded by her friends and whisked away.

Whilst the Wizengamot debated his life and judged him, Severus sat with his thoughts in turmoil.

How had Lupin known those things? It couldn't be animal instinct. And why had he chosen to tell that bushy-haired witch? The words she had used reminded him of something.

As he pondered, he scratched at the forearm where his Dark Mark had been, then shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief to wipe his nose. He sighed, lifting a hand to comb long fingers through his ragged hair, which itched with prison dirt. Slowly, Severus took his hand away from his head. He stared at the grimed palm in amazement. For a moment he sat still, gulping deep breaths. There must be a mistake. No, there was no mistake. His hand was moving free of restraints. He was free!

*

Sitting in the cool dark of the small kitchen at Spinners End, Severus eventually had the peace and quiet he craved. He didn't like the place much, but no-one could find him there. The only people who had known of its existence were long gone or disinclined to visit him. He sat, swirling the dregs of his tea round the bottom of his mug.

He was relieved, he could now return his own stored memories. It had taken a great deal of skill to remove the memories without it being noticeable to any interrogating wizards. He was grateful to Dumbledore and Lupin for sharing that skill. At the time he had stored them, he had been uncertain which side would win the conflict and unsure whether he would ever be able to view them again. Some of them had been in storage since before his first trial, and he wasn't sure how well preserved they would be.

He put his cup down decisively. His hand shook a little with anticipation as he dipped his ebony wand into the Pensieve.

First, out came childhood memories of Lily visiting him, here in this very kitchen, sitting on the worn lino and playing gobstones. Her laughter suffused the room, and even his work-wearied Da smiled with her as his Ma opened a packet of Jammie Dodgers biscuits for them to share.

He smiled and dipped the tip of his wand into the swirl of silver again. Their first kiss, youthful and embarrassing, but incredibly sweet, Lily's hair smooth, copper silk beneath his hands. He was glad he had saved that moment. It made up for the disaster their relationship had become as they grew older.

From there, he moved on to a meeting with Dumbledore. It was similar to the memory of Dumbledore's that had been donated to Harry Potter and used at his trial, but there was something extra. It was from the night Lily had been killed. His darling Lily. They weren't talking about Lily though; they were talking about someone else, and he was distraught. An enormous wave of emotion flooded over him. He tried to scrabble backwards away from the overwhelming grief, but instead was plunged straight into another memory of himself and Lupin in the Edinburgh flat. Lupin's arms were wrapped around him as he howled out his despair. "I need her. I miss her. I love her."

Cold seeped through Snape's robes as he came to, lying face down on the grubby kitchen linoleum. His mind swirled. How could he have forgotten? The emotions were so huge and raw. How could he forget? But, his memory hadn't failed him, had it? It had been removed. He had removed it himself.

His limbs ached as he got up slowly. He lit the lamps and the fire in an effort to warm himself. Peering into the Pensieve, he could see one more wisp of memory in its depths. He felt very reluctant to look at it, a little scared of what else he might find. Why had it been so important to save this memory?

He sat heavily onto the rickety kitchen chair. A sheen of perspiration glistened on his top lip. Steadying his nerves and his hand, he snagged the last memory with his wand and touched it to his temple.

He flinched as the noise of battle surged around him. Yes, he remembered this, defending the Golden Trio. He hadn't expected to survive, and this was his final duty to Dumbledore. He was fighting for his life.

From the other side of the battlefield, Lupin approached, running through the strafing curses.

The daft beggar will get himself killed, thought Severus, distracted.

Reaching Snape's side, Lupin spoke to him briefly then threw his arms around him in a crushing hug. He didn't see the Death Eater's curse coming and looked very surprised as it struck his back.

Severus's arms tightened around him, holding the dying wizard close to him. He could see Lupin's lips moving and leaned closer to hear him. "What is it, Lupin?"

"Call me Remus," the werewolf whispered, his eyes searching Snape's face.

"Over my dead body," Snape replied automatically.

"Or mine, my friend." Lupin's body slumped against Severus.

"Remus!"

A soft, rattling laugh escaped from Lupin's bluing lips.

Severus cupped his friend's shaggy head with his hand and gazed deep into the tawny eyes, capturing the dying wizard's last thoughts.

"When you see her again...Tell her you love her... I love her... and you. I love you, Sev. You are my true mate." Lupin gasped for breath. "Say 'bye to Tonks."

"You're embarrassing me, Remus. Stop talking, you wassock," Snape chided gently.

Remus's lips lifted in a faint smile as his eyes drifted shut. Severus kissed the top of Lupin's head, just as Tonks arrived, pushing him aside.

Whilst Tonks crouched over Lupin's body, grieving, Severus tried to protect her.

"He said he loves you and said goodbye, Tonks!" Severus shouted over the battle's din.

Bellatrix's Avada Kedavra burst forth, striking the younger witch. As Snape watched, her hair rapidly changed hue from vibrant purple through to sickly green, before fading more gradually to mousy brown. He crouched alongside her, murmuring for the dying witch to hear. "He loved you."

Withdrawing from the memory left Severus confused. He felt the aching grief in his chest, like losing Remus all over again. Lupin had frequently told him he loved him, often in jest and usually after a few drinks. He had said it again in this memory, but this time Severus knew it to be true. He realised the depth of feeling behind the words, and what was more, Severus realised he loved the mongrel too. He slammed a fist down on the cup-stained kitchen table. Bloody werewolf... ruddy lycanthropy got under everyone's skin.

But, Lupin had said he loved Tonks as well, and Severus knew that wasn't completely true. It had been a marriage of convenience, to start with. They had married because they both had needed to prove they were stable, trustworthy members of the wizarding community, not just a couple of freaks. With time, they had cared deeply for each other. Like many arranged marriages, the necessity of cooperation had brought them closer together.

Remus had not said he loved Tonks, he had said tell her you love her. Tell whom? He had said he loved this other person too. Severus stroked his chin as he thought. It couldn't be Lily, because she was already dead. Severus couldn't think. He reran the memory of Lupin's last words through his head. Grief overwhelmed him again, the same sense of enormous loss he had experienced in the previous memory. Someone had gone. He and Lupin were grieving. Who?

He sat in the grim little kitchen with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, running his fingers through his straggly, regrowing hair.

Why couldn't he remember?

He peered into the Pensieve, but there were no more memories.

A/N: Again the beta work is done by sunny33.