A Real Dog or a Right Bitch
Chapter 2 of 31
quaffswinegailyHogwarts gets a new Potions professor
ReviewedA Real Dog or a Right Bitch.
Disclaimer: Ms JK Rowling makes shed-loads of money because she owns it all. I make no money from this.
“You’ve got to see the new Potions teacher, boys. The headmaster said she’s just moved here from France. She is an absolute honey!” Sirius Black smacked his lips before letting out a short howl.
Potter laughed. “I bet she’s a real dog, Sirius. You have no idea what a real woman is. Anything in a skirt has you sniffing around. You’re as bad as Moony here.” Boisterously, he elbowed Lupin, who glowered back at him.
“I’m serious, James. She can’t be much older than us. And her accent! It’s dead cute.”
“I heard she’s a Mudblood,” said James.
“Well, I’d be willing to get down and dirty with her.” The boys sniggered.
Severus overheard their conversation as he hung back behind them on his way to the Potions classroom. This was his best subject, and he didn’t want an inexperienced teacher, no matter how much those jerks raved about her.
He slunk into the classroom with his head down and slid into the last empty seat next to Lupin. Snape’s nose wrinkled in distaste. He hated sitting next to Lupin, with his horrible wet-dog body odour. Peering through his stringy locks, Severus took his time observing the new teacher. He noted her nice figure, wavy, brown hair and soft, caramel eyes. She was pretty enough, but not as beautiful as his golden Lily, he thought.
She looked up, catching him in his observation. Her gaze locked with his, and she gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Severus’s eyes slid from the contact, and his cheeks burned with embarrassment. The witch turned and, with a flick of her wand, closed the door.
“Eh, bien! Bonjour, mes étudiants. Je m’appelle Mademoiselle Charmaine Bien-Aimée. Normally, I would start my first lesson with a short speech I learned about potions bewitching the senses but, as you are an advanced Potions class, we will get straight to work.”
Her light, French accent lilted across his brain. Luscious lips wrapped themselves around her words. Suddenly, the lips stopped moving and pursed. She looked pointedly at him.
“Monsieur Snape, do I have your full attention?”
“Yes, miss,” he breathed. “Completely.” He blushed and hid behind his greasy fringe of hair.
With a few sniggers the class settled down to work on the assignment Mlle Bien-Aimée had set.
“Potion samples to the front desk, please,” the Potions professor requested at the end of the lesson.
As Snape passed Potter’s workbench, carrying a tray of potions, James pushed his book-bag into the passageway with his foot. Severus’s toe caught in the strap, and he fell full-length with a grunt. The tray clattered to the ground, and with a tinkle of glass the small bottles shattered on the stone-flagged floor. A faint, acrid smoke and a sticky sludge was all that remained of their work.
“What did you do that for, you gits? Those were my samples too,” whinged Lupin, frowning at Snape and Potter.
The class stilled. Everyone looked at Mlle Bien-Aimée expectantly. Her eyes were flinty.
“Potter, leave my classroom.”
“It wasn’t me, miss. He just tripped.”
“Ten points from Gryffindor for lying.”
“Bitch!” he muttered under his breath.
“Twenty points from Gryffindor. Get out!”
Mlle Bien-Aimée quietly reminded the rest of the students of their homework requirements and dismissed them.
“Monsieur Lupin and Monsieur Snape, please remain behind.”
“I’d stay behind with her any day,” Sirius whispered to Lupin as he left the room, leering.
Lily Evans patted Lupin’s shoulder as she passed and smiled briefly at Snape. “You’ll be fine.”
Snape and Lupin slouched to the front of the classroom. They stood round-shouldered, hands in pockets, gazing down at their shabby, scuffed shoes.
“Regardez-moi!”
The boys shuffled uncertainly. Severus sneaked a look from under his drawn-down eyebrows.
“Look at me!”
Cautiously, they raised their eyes. As they straightened up, Snape realised both of them easily towered over their newest teacher.
“Better. Now explain.”
The young wizards looked at each other and shrugged.
“Explain what, miss?”
The young woman sighed and rubbed a hand across her forehead. She bit her bottom lip.
“No. You’re right. Sit down,” she said, indicating the closest workbench. “The headmaster has requested I give both of you special tuition.”
“But, Miss Bien-Aimée, we’re the top students in Potions. I don’t think we need extra tuition,” Severus replied haughtily.
“I observed your work during this session. Certainly, you are both adequate.”
Lupin huffed.
“Individually, you are good, but if you cooperated you could be better. I have a specific project for you to work on together.”
That caught their interest.
“A project, miss?”
“Yes. Wolfsbane.”
“No.” Lupin paled and shook his head.
“Why would I want to work to help a filthy werewolf?” demanded Snape. He felt a subtle increase in tension from Lupin but ignored him.
“Why wouldn’t you?” she asked.
“They’re just dumb, dirty animals.”
Mlle Bien-Aimée sighed.
“May I suggest you consider the offer overnight. I will speak to you both before your double Potions lesson tomorrow. Meantime, clean up this mess,” she said as she stepped carefully around the noxious residue on the floor, “without using your wands.”
Withdrawing to her private chambers, Charmaine sat down heavily on the sofa. Distractedly, she chewed on her bottom lip and twiddled with her wand, deep in thought.
This was not going to be as easy as she had hoped. Her instructions were to get the two young wizards to work together, but there appeared to be a gulf of animosity between them. Shaking her head, she marvelled at Snape’s arrogant ignorance.
That’s it! He doesn’t know about Lupin. How am I going to get this to work?
A/N: Thanks, Sunny33, for the beta work.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Man's Best Friend
353 Reviews | 7.7/10 Average
Damn so he came back cured of the love that he had,but stilled loved them as a friend.I am not sure I understand how he was cured from being dead...did he not really die cause of the Blaze? I loved the story,felt a little rushed at the end,but it was supposed to be a one shot right!! Great work thanks!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thanks for taking the time to read to the finish and review. I wrote this story three years ago, so perhaps would take more time on the ending now. Maybe one day I'll revisit it.
I think they could have been a triad. Do you ever write those stories? You would write a great one I know!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I haven't yet. Maybe one day.
i like the older Snape and I am sure Hermione does too!!Great story!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
He matures rather well.
If he had lived would Lupin have been thier third? I would like to think so...I LOVE this story!!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Perhaps... or maybe not...
i love the way you incorporate canon and fanon!!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thank you very much. I appreciate your reviews.
poor Severus and poor(Hermione?)
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Indeed.
I never liked Lily, a real friend would have forgiven!! I hate the fact Severus never recoved from her loss and went to his death alone on a dirty floor...Thank goodness for fan fiction!!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Fan fiction just lets us explore other options.
i was not expecting the unicorn to hurt our Severus!! I think it is for the good in the long run!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Here's hoping...
Hermione?
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Really?
Response from deedeebug95 (Reviewer)
Hahaha!
oMG, this really could have happened this way!! Poor Severus this is breaking my heart
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
It's certainly a possibility.
like the start of this!! How dare they shave Severus' hair!!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I know. Oily and lank though it may be at times, we do love his hair.
If the professor knew how the dance went, why would she not be prepared to be kissed by Severus? It seems odd that a professor would dance this dance with a student. Obviously she has some kind of magical sight that Severus can pick up on when he touches her. Legilimins? Could they have gotten away with a kiss on the cheek? She should chastise Snotter for trapping her and Severus and taunting him right in front of a teacher. I know I need to just buck and deal with the tragedy that is Silly Lily Evens the idiot girl who has no ability to judge character and Severus Snape. I still don't like it though. F the Gryffindors. I hates them all!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I'm sure they woudn't have let them go with just a kiss on the cheek.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I'm sure they woudn't have let them go with just a kiss on the cheek.
Lily is such a little airheaded dolt! She has no common sense! She knows Severus better than that! She should know he wouldn't say such a thing! And that Snotter deserves to be killed by Voldemort. The world is better off without his kind of riff raff. I know that sounds stinky, but I'm a fat, greyheaded, crotchety and cantankerous old broad so I get to say things like that. "That little whiper snaper probably smokes dope like all them other little pimply faced reprobates! All those young people are are on dope, damn it!" That's the mood I'm in and it's late. So I'd better go to bed before I do or say anything else antisocial. If you knew the week I've been having you'd understand. Some little wanker stole my car and got it impounded for driving with no licence and for possession. He also just happens to be married to my idiot, enabling daughter who makes excuses for the little A-hole. I have no idea who raised these damn kids of mine! Just freeking kill me now before I ever have to live with with any of the ungrateful leeches. I'll have bed sores and a wet diaper all the time. I could totally kick that drunk, skinny little ass of his if I wanted to, you know... he's a little putz and I weigh more than he does. All I have to do is knock him down and sit on his face until he suffocates. He just better hope I don't cough, sneeze or laugh while I'm at it! Oops! it's too late. There I went and said something else antisocial. Somebody make me go to bed! I have to work tomorrow so I can buy diapers and wipes for my spawn's babies.If you have to have kids, for the love of god don't have girls! Drama Drama Drama! I'm just warning you now. Kids are over freeking rated. It's time for sleeping pills. I can't believe how late it is and I'm still up bitching... Now you know why I read Harry Potter fan fiction. In my head magic is fixing everything right now and Snape thinks I am the sexiest thing he's ever seen!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I hope this manages to take you away from real life dramas, if only for a short time.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I hope this manages to take you away from real life dramas, if only for a short time.
What special gift does she have? Oooooo, I know! She must be a werewolf! No wait. She does't smell of dog. But maybe she just knows how to keep the smell away. Hmmmmm. Touching Snape's face would have been OK if he had been a 4th grader but, teenager? Does she uderstand teenage male hormone function? Or should I call it a disorder? Just kidding. When I was a girl I didn't know what not to do around boys. I don't think I got wise until my mid 30's. I'm thinking she must be at least that old, however or she wouldn't have been thinking the things she was thinking. Women at the bottom of the hill wouldn't notice such attributes. Interesting.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Teenage male hormones... does anyone understand them?
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Teenage male hormones... does anyone understand them?
Hmmmm. She wants to let Severus know that Lupin is a Werewolf? I sincerely hope she isn't the one behind the prank that almost killed the young Severus. Why would Dumbledore want the two boys to work together? Training them for something? Are you saying that the speech on the first day of potions isn't Severus Snape's original work? I am very surprised he would use someone elses speech, but I guess if she turns out to be someone he truely admires I suppose he might use it to honor her. Maybe it caught his interest so well that it inspired him for life and he uses it hoping to inspire other young people the way he was. I guess we will find out. Black is such an arse! No wait, worse, he's a vulgar dick head. I take it we won't be super attached to Sirius Black in this story. That's fine with me. I read for the love of Severus Snape and the love of Snape/Granger romance.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Hopefully all will become clearer as the story moves on.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Hopefully all will become clearer as the story moves on.
Bummer! They shaved his beautiful long black hair. Hasn't the poor man suffered enough assault to his dignity? I wonder why they let him out of Azkaban for the funeral? Is it to humiliate him? Is he out of Azkaban but under house arrest with guards? It must be shocking to Hermione to see Snape sobbing. I guess you'll tell us how he survived the war. An ausicious beginning!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
This has got to be one of the most gorgeous convoluted twisty exciting mind bending epic stories I've ever read!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thanks very much. I'm delighted you enjoyed this and appreciate you taking the time to leave a review.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thanks very much. I'm delighted you enjoyed this and appreciate you taking the time to leave a review.
I started reading this just before bed time, telling myself that I'd only read a chapter or two then off to bed... its now 5:30AM and I just finished! I just couldnt stop reading! I loved it. I really enjoyed every word! Great job and I look forward to reading more from you!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I'm absolutely delighted. Thank you very much. Now, go and get some sleep!
What a fun roller coaster! Thanks for posting it where we can read it.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
You're most welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for taking the time to stop and leave a review.
Charming story! I've definitely never read anything like it. I love the Portkey idea, and how the story flowed between the past and the present. Thanks.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thanks for reviewing. This was my first ever long fic. I hope you enjoyed it.
I'm not sure if I loved the story more or the A/N! Fabulous write;)
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Thanks very much. I really appreciate your review. A/N: must remember to give everyone squishy hugs for reviewing...
Thank you for a happy ending - Severus & Hermione wedded, and Remus brought back, as well as Remus finding another special person to love and share/continue a new life with! I can't believe you intended this first to be only a one shot - thank Merlin's Beard that you got carried away or we all would never have had this wonderful, creative adventure in our ff lives - big heartfelt thanks! Looking forward to more of your multi-chaptered works as well as all others!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
It was a one shot, but the darned thing wouldn't lie down. Normally I struggle to string more than a couple of words together, so this was a bit of a one off. Thanks very much for your encouragement. Cheers, qwg
Ah-ah, Quaffie. I told you quite a few chapters back that you couldn't kill off Remus and you told me to get some new specs or something of that ilk because your prologue dictated that the lovely werewolf had shuffled off his mortal coil or pelt or whatever. Hmmmph. I'd like you to know lassie that I have 20-20 vision....and hindsight and can see through walls too. I enjoyed this ending but I secretly thought that Remus was going to end up with Harry. No??? Anyway thank you for a wonderful story. I have thoroughly enjoyed both Remus and Severus' and indeed our banter over the last few months and look forward to hearing from you again in the near future. Best wishes, Love Ali xxxxx.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Fie on you, and your xray, 3D, perception... glasses... thingies. It was very tempting to set Remus up with Harry, or in a threesome, but Jo was looking a bit left out. And being a true Aussie sheila used to wrangling crocs and dingoes, I reckoned she'd be able to manage his scrawny, flea-bitten hide.And the bloomin' happy ending fairy took over...I'm away to sink into the slough of despond, or onto the couch, or anywhere out of this infernal summer heat. Thanks for all your edifying reviews.Cheers, qwg
So glad this was more than a one shot! I've loved every minute of it. I'm really loving this unicorn magic. You should explore it more in future stories. Beautifully written and one of my favorite fics.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
I'm very glad you liked it. The story just kept expanding - in some part due to sunny33, who read the original, and never made a comment, but the look on her face just said 'crap ending, write some more' - so I did (but not exactly what she wanted).As for more unicorns - not sure if I trust the mutant horse much - we'll wait and see.Thanks for all your lovely reviews.Cheers, qwg
Yay for you! Your first long fic and it went out on top. This was an even better ending than expected. I have to have my happy ending, always, and I knew you would let Severus and Hermione end in that fashion, but I was so pleased to find that they were able to have their friend back, even if it was through a portrait. THEN, you went and did one better by bringing him back for real. I, for one, am pleased that this one-shot got carried away. Feel free to let that happen again ...
Response from quaffswinegaily (Author of A Man's Best Friend)
Darn! The happy ending fairy got a bit over exuberant, didn't she? I'll have to go and think up something evil she can't tamper with. I hope you enjoyed the read. Really, it shouldn't have worked - a story about a time travelling poisoner, a dead werewolf and a hard drinking wizard with memory defecit. What a load of tosh!Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, they are much appreciated.Cheers, qwg