The Renaming of Hermione Granger
Chapter 4 of 5
snuggleslutSeverus shows more worrisome behavior, and Hermione seeks help from Dumbledore on his behalf.
Chapter Four
The Renaming of Hermione Granger
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Hermione almost lost her nerve at the entrance to the Hogwarts kitchens. Maybe I should just send a house-elf down with some food for him. But no, the house-elves didn't deserve his anger. She still had them prepare the food, knowing how devastated the elves would have been if she had shown up in their kitchens insisting on preparing food herself. The elves were delighted to be at her service and eager to impress the new professor. Hermione's head still spun at the thought that she was now a professor. It felt as though she had just been a student at Hogwarts, but that was because she had just been a student at Hogwarts.
The house-elves, as usual, outdid themselves, preparing Hermione an array of sandwiches, biscuits, cakes, fresh fruit and cheese. She hoped Severus would be willing to eat something on the platter and that he wouldn't just throw said platter at her.
Hermione arrived at the Potion master's office door with his platter of food hovering behind her like a trained pet. She half expected the door to be locked and warded against her and was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't; however, this meant that there was no excuse for her to turn back. If she did, it would be because of her own shameful fear. But Hermione was a Gryffindor, and she was not about to let fear stop her.
Severus was at his desk in his office, holding his head in his hands as he rubbed small circles around his temples, when Hermione entered the room. She sat the plate of food down before him and wordlessly fished a headache potion out of her bag, setting it next to the food.
"Were you sent here to torment me?" he asked, still holding his head in his hands.
Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment. " I suppose it's a possibility." She doubted, however, that the jewelry box fiasco in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic had anything to do with the harsh man sitting before her.
He snorted at her reply and swiftly downed the headache potion, still not looking at her.
"You shouldn't take that on an empty stomach," she chided him.
"I am a Potions master, you know." He glared, and she smiled. Arrogant chit.
"Then, eat up." Hermione gestured to the food before him.
"I don't need to be coddled, damn it!" Severus snapped, berating himself for not warding her out of his office after she left and questioning his sanity for letting her stay.
"You need to eat," she told him, "and after that have a bit of a lie down. I'll go remake a batch of burn paste potion since I ruined your other one."
"Just who on this god-forsaken planet do you think you are?!" Severus demanded; he couldn't just ask her what her name was. That would be unacceptable. That would be admitting to himself that he was curious about her, which he wasn't, not in the least...
"I'm He--," She stopped herself short. She had already been foolish enough to give her name out once and was not about to do it again, especially to someone who would know her in the future as a student. She hadn't thought about a new name since her conversation with Dumbledore.
Despite what many people believed, Hermione could lie. She had lied to Umbridge under threat of torture, and she had lied to Bellatrix Lestrange, while being tortured. However, she could not lie to Professor Snape, not to his face. His eyes narrowed at her hesitation.
"I'm a concerned colleague," she finally said lamely.
His face didn't show it, but he almost laughed, a bitter anguish-filled laugh. His anger flared. How dare she come into my office, force herself and food upon me, and then deny me her name! "Your concern is most unwelcome, I assure you," he said, spitting the word concern out like it was something foul-tasting upon his tongue.
Hermione shook her head. Of course it is; you're Severus Snape.
"Just eat." She turned and entered his lab, shutting the door behind her. She thought about locking it but felt that would be crossing the line, something that she had already done in Severus's eyes.
The first thing she did was clean, starting with the spilled potion and cauldron, then fixing the broken glass and bench that had either been knocked over or more likely, because this was Professor Snape, kicked. After that, she started the burn paste potion.
On the other side of the door, Severus sat glaring at the food before him. His traitorous stomach growled, and he covered it with his hand, trying to stifle the noise, which was alarmingly loud in the silent room. He was too tired to fight but too stubborn to give in. And he was hungry, very hungry. He conceded to himself that he would eat her food and let her brew the potion, which would just go to Poppy anyway. St. Mungo's wouldn't accept it; that would be against the Ministry's regulations that they had him under. She couldn't help him, and he wouldn't let her anyway. After he felt stronger, more like himself, he would yell at her and berate her until she left in tears, and he would be free. And then, the dreams would stop. Yes, he thought, they will stop.
**************************************************
He dreamed of her again. Only this time, she was on his office floor instead of in Hogsmeade. The strange, nameless girl was broken and bleeding like in all of his other dreams in which she played a starring role. She wore the same plain Muggle clothing.
Severus was at her side the moment he saw her. Pulling out his wand, he tried everything he knew to stop the bleeding, but nothing worked. The blood kept coming, her breathing became erratic and shallower, and her skin paled as the color drained from her.
No... no, hold on... Out of desperation, he tried to stop the blood-flow with the hem of his robes, putting as much pressure on her wound as he could without causing her more damage. She looked so small and young, like one of his students, but he had only ever seen her once before that day in Hogsmeade, and that was her jumping out of the window at St. Mungos.
Her eyes slowly opened, and she looked at him with such worry he nearly found it touching. Gently, she placed her hand, the only hand she had, on his shoulder.
"Are you all right?" Hermione asked, still bleeding, slowly dying.
"What?" he asked. This had never happened before in his previous dreams.
"You didn't eat anything." She put her other, unnoticed hand on his other shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. "Are you okay?" she persisted.
He blinked, and the room spun around him. Now he was looking up at her, his face resting on a few smashed sandwiches. She looked so worried he could almost pretend he was special, but Severus would never think something so pitiful even in his delusional state. He touched her left hand with his.
"You.. You're not bleeding." It was Hermione's turn to be confused, but before she could question him, his eyes closed and his arm fell back to the desk as Severus went back into his dreams.
***************************************
After Hermione had finished with the potion, she returned to the office where she found Severus, face down on the sandwiches. For one horrible moment, she thought he was dead, but, after checking his pulse and even gently trying to wake him, she concluded that he was alive, just in desperate need of both sleep and food. What is he doing to himself? she wondered. Even when he was a double agent, his health was never this dreadful.
The room was silent other than the soft slow breathing of one who was fast asleep. Hermione stood, torn; she knew Severus would be furious if she stayed. Just seeing him in such a defenseless situation would further cement his hatred of her, but it didn't feel right to leave him lying there.
After giving it some thought, she summoned a house-elf. Bimpy popped into the room with a loud crack. Severus stirred at the noise but did not wake.
"Bimpy, please take Professor Snape to his chambers and put him to bed," Hermione instructed. The house-elf nodded eagerly, and, using that powerful elf magic, levitated him in the air before snapping her fingers. They were both gone, leaving only Hermione and the echo of their departure in the room.
Hermione knew trying to help him might be pointless, but it was in her nature. At the moment, she felt the only way to do that without making Severus hungry for her blood was to talk to the Headmaster, Dumbledore. Besides, she owed him an apology.
*************************8
Making a mental list of every Muggle and wizarding candy she could think of, Hermione approached the entrance to the Headmaster's offices. The stone gargoyle met her with a cold, lifeless stare.
"Lemon drops?" she guessed.
Nothing...
"Chocolate frogs?"
Nothing...
"Sugar quil--" She was cut off mid-word by the stone gargoyle turning away, revealing the spiral staircase that was being descended by none other than Dumbledore himself.
"Professor!" Hermione called, catching him off guard. "I was just looking for you."
"Ah, and it appears you've found me. I was planning on finding you, myself." Dumbledore came to her wearing rich purple robes with light blue moons in various stages of waning and waxing that matched his twinkling eyes. His Father Time-like charm was unmistakable. "It's lovely out; would you mind letting me escort you on a walk around the grounds?" he asked, holding his arm out in invitation.
"Not at all," Hermione replied, accepting his proffered arm.
They walked in silence, side by side, to the Entrance Hall and then out of the castle. It was a beautiful summer day. Hermione had never seen Hogwarts in the summer before. The grounds were alive with warmth; even the giant squid periodically rose to the surface of the Black Lake to enjoy the sun. The castle, however, looked a bit depressed, like a mother suffering from emptiness syndrome. It just wasn't the same without any students.
Dumbledore steered her towards the lake first, explaining to her about the giant quid and mer-people. She humored him, going along with his silly ploy of taking her on a tour around the grounds.
"So, do you, by chance, have a name I can address you as, dear girl?" he inquired as they made their way towards the border of the Forbidden Forest. Hermione didn't think he would actually take them into the forest itself.
She sighed at his question. "No. I haven't given it any thought whatsoever. I've been so busy preparing to be the DADA professor. It must have slipped my mind."
"Your dedication to your work is admirable. Perhaps I could help you think of something. I've never named a person before. Would you mind indulging the whims of an old man?" he asked her, giving his most grandfatherly smile.
"Be my guest; you've been more than understanding about this, and I apologize for being short with you before," Hermione told him, absently toying with a strand of her curly hair. It was unlike her to be disrespectful.
"Don't let it trouble you. I've never splinched myself, but, if I ever did, I imagine I'd be a bit grumpy afterwards," he explained nonchalantly.
"May I ask you what made you trust me?" Hermione questioned, stopping in the umbrage of the forest. She could see Hagrid's hut and wondered if he was home. Dumbledore hadn't mentioned him being there for the summer, but she couldn't think of him living somewhere else.
"Legilimency," he stated and, seeing her chalk-white face, continued, "very gently. I only saw that you were telling the truth."
"Oh," she sighed.
"...and I saw the box," he added. Hermione glared at the forest.
"What do you think happened to me?" she asked sounding sulky, which was childish and very unlike her, but Dumbledore needed to learn that sort of thing was not okay. Hermione thought, though, that her pouting would probably not make any difference in Dumbledore's code of conduct.
"I'm afraid I haven't the slightest idea. I'm sorry I cannot be of more help," he told her, his voice full of sincerity. She always found it hard to be mad at him, even when it seemed like he had sent them off on a never-ending quest after his death.
She shrugged. "You gave me a job."
"Yes, and now you need a name," Dumbledore pondered, taking her arm in his as they started walking in the direction of Hagrid's hut again.
Hermione was silent beside him, trying to think of a way to bring up her concern for Professor Snape while he thought of names for her.
"Jennifer?" he suggested
"No," she said simply.
"Jamie?"
She gave him a stern look. "No male names."
"Well, what kind of name would you like?" Dumbledore asked, stopping again, this time next to Hagrid's garden.
She gave it a moment's thought. "Something I can remember, of course. What name do I appear to be?" she asked him.
Dumbledore turned to her with a searching look; Hermione avoided direct eye contact while he sized her up.
"Helena." It was a statement not a question. She had been named by Dumbledore and was unsure whether she felt honored or lost.
Hermione nodded her assent. "Helena," she repeated. "Helena Taber." Taber was the maiden name of Hermione's mother.
"A lovely name! I'll deal with the paperwork for the Board of Governors, and trust me, nothing will be amiss," he concluded.
"I don't doubt it, but there was something else I wished to speak to you about," Hermione reminded him. He took her arm again and turned back towards the castle. So I have a time limit, do I? she thought.
"I'm worried about Professor Snape."
Dumbledore stopped again and looked at her, clearly caught off guard. She thought he looked almost worried.
With a deep breath, she continued, "He's overworking himself, and he's not eating or sleeping enough." Hermione stopped, seeing the stern expression on Dumbledore's old face.
"Did he talk to you?"
"Yes, well, I heard a crash in the dungeons and went to investigate. He botched a potion, and he's, well, he's a Potions master, and it was a simple burn salve. He looks so much worse than I've ever seen him, and he didn't even throw me out. Well, he tried to but he gave up. He gave up! And then he fell asleep at his desk. Something is wrong. I'm really worried," Hermione took several large breaths of air; she had spoken so quickly that she wasn't certain whether Dumbledore had heard it all or any of it, for that matter. He seemed strangely relieved.
"So you came to him?" he asked, pulling her arm in the direction of Hogwarts again. Hermione stumbled for a moment before matching his slightly faster pace.
"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" She was confused and a little miffed that he didn't seem to be taking the matter seriously.
Dumbledore sighed deeply and suddenly looked as old as she remembered him. "Helena. May I call you Helena?" She nodded and he continued, "I am aware of the situation. I will try talking to Alastor, but I fear it will do as much good as the last time we spoke."
The only Alastor that Hermione knew was Alastor Moody, who would be head of the Auror Department at this time. But what would he have to do with Professor Snape not eating or sleeping enough? He must be speaking of a different Alastor, she concluded.
"What exactly is the situation?" Hermione asked.
"It would be inappropriate for me to discuss this matter with you, but come," Dumbledore commanded, leading her back into Hogwarts. "I would like to give you something I have in my office."
Again, they walked in silence until they reached the Headmaster's office. It remained relatively unchanged by time, still filled with Dumbledore's bizarre odds and ends, but none of this registered to Hermione. She hadn't had a lot of exposure to the Headmasters office, but she recognized Fawkes in the corner, on his golden perch, looking radiant..
"He's beautiful," Hermione said, captivated by the bird's colourful plumage. She didn't know there were so many shades of red, yellow, and orange.
"His name is Fawkes," Dumbledore told her as he pulled out a large book-shaped object, wrapped in brown paper. "It would be too dangerous for me to try to teach you myself, so you'll have to make do with this book." He sounded doubtful that this would accomplish anything, but, if there was one thing Hermione could do better than anyone else, it was learning from a book.
She smiled and accepted the parcel, confused. "Thank you?"
He waved her off. "No need. I would like you to start working on it as soon as possible, and, please, I know this is inappropriate of me to ask you, well, tell you, but I must insist that you avoid Professor Snape." He trailed off, making it clear that he would give Hermione no explanation.
She glared. How dare he!
"For the greater good?" Hermione asked, skeptically.
"Perhaps, but mostly for your own good." There was no twinkle in his eyes nor humor in his face.
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Author's notes: the 5th chapter is with my beta, and I just finished the 6th and started the 7th chapter, but I am going to be going on two vacations in the next three weeks, so posting will be a bit choppy, but I will do my best to post something.
Thank you all for reviewing and lots of love for my beta, Bookofsecrets.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Guilt and Suspicion
53 Reviews | 5.89/10 Average
Really enjoyed this one so far. If we beg, would you reconsider continuing it? I'd be willing to help with reviews.
I love this story, will you be continuing it?
hi
I hope this isn't dead, I've enjoyed it immensely
nice break after all that teenage time-turner fics
we get to see the mysterious years in between voldie's first fall and harry starting school - not many fics give a honest attempt to describe that era and i can never get enough of them
your Snape is raw and interesting, untempered by time, still somewhat green, and his grief and anger are still fresh
the business with ministry and potion-making is a nasty one, and a novel approach to snape's punishment that i like that type of pettiness is much more like ministry than the azkaban torture/auror brutality combo that fic writers usually come up with
good luck with finding beta and please don't give up on this story
thank you
m.
i love time travel stories! you really have severus (and albus) spot on as characters. bravo! if i were a beta i'd volunteer just so i could read this story before anyone else. thanks so much
Thanks for the update. Sorry about the beta problems. What happens if Snape goes into her mind? And Dumbledore didn't look? Somehow I doubt that. I imagine he can slip in and out of everyone's mind without them realizing it. Why else would he want Hermione to stay away from Snape.
Marvelous! I have enjoyed every chapter., every interaction, every thing about this story.
There is some kind of magic, special magic, between Severus and Hermione. The both have dreams of each other, nightmares really, of the other one being harmed in some way, and their dreams are tied to their reality somehow... not identical, but similar.
Severus dreamed of a splinched Hermione trying to comfort him as she was bleeding to death, and her words in his dream were almost what she was saying to him when she found him asleep in the sandwiches.
Just now, Hermione dreamed of Severus storming into her rooms in a rage because she had not saved him in the Shrieking Shack in her future time. “My death is on your hands!” “You let me die.” Then quick as you can say "Bob's your uncle," Severus is really at her door, in a rage, and demanding to be let in.
After they had fought with one another and he saw the book Albus had given her to read, he became angry because the thought the Headmaster was teaching her. However, when she told him that Albus couldn't teach her so he wanted her to learn from a book, Severus "offered" to teach her.
Now I had to ask myself what could that book be about... and I thought of Legilimency. And if she would allow Severus to teach her, then he could gain access to her memories and learn who she is and, perhaps, what she was doing here.
Great chapter. You are weaving an intricate tale of two people bound together by circumstance and time... and I love it!
Beth
Great chapter. Good luck on your search. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
“Yes, well, I heard a crash in the dungeons and went to investigate. He botched a potion, and he’s, well, he’s a Potions master, and it was a simple burn salve. He looks so much worse than I’ve ever seen him, and he didn’t even throw me out. Well, he tried to but he gave up. He gave up! And then he fell asleep at his desk. Something is wrong. I’m really worried.”
I don't think Hermione realized what she said to Dumbledore, but I am sure he heard it. And the Headmaster said he would talk to Moody. “I am aware of the situation. I will try talking to Alastor, but I fear it will do as much good as the last time we spoke.”
Something else I recall is, when Hermione left to brew the Burn Paste, Severus thought to himself, "... he would eat her food and let her brew the potion, which would just go to Poppy anyway. St. Mungo’s wouldn’t accept it; that would be against the Ministry’s regulations that they had him under. She couldn’t help him, and he wouldn’t let her anyway." This must have something to do with some kind of Restitution or Community Service he is required to do because he had taken the Dark Mark and then gone to work for Albus to defeat Lord Voldemort.
Great chapter!!!
Beth
I'm really enjoying this story! Your Snape seems true to character, as I can see that he might have behaved this way under these circumstances. And I like that Hermione is willing to fight back with whatever means necessary, as that seems in character for her, too. Although I imagine it would be hard to get past the habit of treating him with the automatic respect she usually had in his class, and treat him more as a peer.
I'm sorry to hear you're having beta problems. I hope you get a new one soon, as I'd like to see more frequent updates on your story!
This story has such an interesting dynamic. Severus does not know Hermione, but she knows absolutely everything about him. How will he respond when she comes back with sandwiches?
Great chapter, BTW.
Beth
Lots of passion between those two. OK, it manifests as anger at the moment...
Severus is still as prickly as ever, I see. Now that Hermione is the new DADA professor, how will that affect her relationship with the Potions master?
This promises to be a fun ride!
Beth
Hermione is in deep trouble now... how did she end up nearly twenty years in the past?
A very interesting start to this tale of Guilt and Suspicion !
Beth
Oohhh, just found this, and loving it! Hmm, what was the intent of that jewelry box? I love the idea of an SS/HG timeturner fic that doesn't involve the damn Marauders, so kudos to you!
Hoping for more updates :)
Merry Christmas!
Somehow I don't believe Hermione will take Dumbledore's advice. Good chapter I loved how Hermione allowed the Headmaster to give her a name.
Perhaps Dumbledore is worried that Snape is a highly suseptible chancellor, er, professor. (Gilbert and Sullivan silly reference)If Hermione is two nearly three, then Lily is dead. If Hermione is very nearly two, then Lily is still alive. I'm surprised she hasn't shown more interest in what year it is. I sure am interested.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
Thank you for reveiwing! good questions, and sense the answers are in no way a spoiler to my fic, I can share them with you.Dumbledore knows Snape has always done things his own way dispite laws and rules or whats right and wrong, he is also distrusting by nature and unwilling to let things go (i.e. Remus and his monthley sickness) so he's assuming that Snape will not let the matter pass and is warning Hermione without giving anything away about Snape to her.and as for the time line. its summer 1982, almost a year after the end of the first war. Severus is 22 and Hermione is almost 19 and her former self is almos 3.
Response from pookah (Reviewer)
Thanks for the answers! I'm really looking forward to the rest of this.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
Thank you for reveiwing! good questions, and sense the answers are in no way a spoiler to my fic, I can share them with you.Dumbledore knows Snape has always done things his own way dispite laws and rules or whats right and wrong, he is also distrusting by nature and unwilling to let things go (i.e. Remus and his monthley sickness) so he's assuming that Snape will not let the matter pass and is warning Hermione without giving anything away about Snape to her.and as for the time line. its summer 1982, almost a year after the end of the first war. Severus is 22 and Hermione is almost 19 and her former self is almos 3.
Response from pookah (Reviewer)
Thanks for the answers! I'm really looking forward to the rest of this.
Awsome chapter, can't wait for the next! :D Have a wonderful time on your vacations, I'm jealous lol ... haven't been on a real vacation in years... :P lolTake care, and ty again for the wonderful story :D
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
thank you for the review. as for when the next chapter, I have some good and bad news. the bad news it most likely wont be posted for another week maybe longer :(. the good news i've decided to combine chapter 5 and chapter 6, I fewlt they were both to short on thier own and slowed the story down as two seperate chapters. this also means I need to finish chapters 7 and 8 in order to keep up. luckily I'm taking my lap top with me.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
thank you for the review. as for when the next chapter, I have some good and bad news. the bad news it most likely wont be posted for another week maybe longer :(. the good news i've decided to combine chapter 5 and chapter 6, I fewlt they were both to short on thier own and slowed the story down as two seperate chapters. this also means I need to finish chapters 7 and 8 in order to keep up. luckily I'm taking my lap top with me.
Interesting...very interesting. I wonder why Dumbledore would want her to avoid Snape? I can't wait to see what happens next! Hope your vacations are lovely!
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
Dumbledore doesn't trust Snape to let this matter go, and sense he is untrusting by nature and prone to getting in to deep, witch couls cause truoble for Hermione he decided it would be best to warn her as well. if he tell them both to leave the other one alone and stay away from each other, one of them is bound to listen... right?thank you for reveiwing.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
Dumbledore doesn't trust Snape to let this matter go, and sense he is untrusting by nature and prone to getting in to deep, witch couls cause truoble for Hermione he decided it would be best to warn her as well. if he tell them both to leave the other one alone and stay away from each other, one of them is bound to listen... right?thank you for reveiwing.
Curiouser and curiouser
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
I'm glad you think so.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
I'm glad you think so.
I don't think I'm going to like Dumbledore in this one. Hermione is so much like herself.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
he's not so bad, he just has his priorities set in stone.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
he's not so bad, he just has his priorities set in stone.
Ooh interesting beginning! Hermione's done it now, she's whooshed herself back in time! :) Can't wait to see where this will go!
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
thank you! and I can't wait to show you.
Oh what a neat beginning! I can't wait for more!
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
much more too come. thank you for reviewing!
Blimey, she's in the past!
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
yes, she is. thank you for reviewing.
What a great chapter! Wonderful start to what appears to be an intriguing story.
Response from snuggleslut (Author of Guilt and Suspicion)
thank you! more to come soon.