A Gift

A/N; Okay, so this is where the story becomes somewhat interactive. Throughout the story you will be given a link that will take you to a blog where the music for this story is located. The songs aren't labeled as to which ones you play, but are in order by the story. I know it's tempting, but try not to "listen ahead"! Enjoy! Also, in my mind, this Albus sounds like the Dumbledore in Potter Puppet Pals. Click Here Sorry if that's disturbing! Again, many thanks to the fabulous Charmed Force for her fabulous beta skills!

Severus actually managed to avoid Hermione Granger throughout the week. She did, in fact, keep to herself, for which Severus was grateful. He could often hear raucous music coming from her quarters, but gratefully she kept the doors shut and her wiggling arse out of his way. The last thing he needed was an over active, excitable bookworm on his hands, begging for use of his personal potion stores or library. Not surprisingly, Minerva had been praising her ex-pupil relentlessly. Severus had to admit he was curious to see how her classes were going as he had only heard positive things from the students and the other staff. He decided that during his break that day he would go and "observe" her teaching methods.

He made his way to the hallway outside her classroom and peered in the half open door. The classroom was dark and all he could hear was a woman's voice.

"Josephine in my flying machine and it's up she goes, up she goes..."

What the bloody...

"Jack... Jack... Jack, there's a boat, Jack... Jack... Jack. There's a boat, Jack. Jack.

Come back. Come back. Come back! Come back!"

And then a man's voice, "Hello, can anyone hear me?"

"There's no one here, sir."

"Come back! Come back! I'll never let go, I promise." Then there was a lot of splashing.

Severus couldn't hear much over the sound of, what he recognized to be, a Muggle motion picture, but he thought he distinctly heard the sound of female whimpering. He would have called it sniveling but that brought back too many unpleasant memories. Wonderful! She's teaching them something useful I see, Severus thought derisively. He snuck in the back of the classroom and made his way to the corner of the room. He could clearly see several female students wiping their snotty little noses and even a few male students, Hufflepuffs no doubt, coughing gently. He had no idea what this particular film was about but was sure it was useless and a complete waste of time. The film ended and Professor Granger brought the lights up. For a brief moment, their eyes met across the room but she chose to ignore him and began questioning her class. She went on and on about costumes and things called sink tanks, motion capture, green screens, and Academy Awards. Severus was certain none of these students were ever going to need this nonsense and that she was wasting both time and money teaching it.

Hermione dismissed her class, who were all talking quite animatedly amongst themselves about Titanic. Briefly, Severus remembered something from Muggle history about a sinking boat but shrugged it off as the last student left.

"Granger." Snape nodded at her.

"Snape." She nodded back.

"Interesting choice of lesson, Professor."

"Thank you, Professor. The students seemed to enjoy it," she said.

"Is that what teaching means to you, Professor Granger, covering only information that the students will... enjoy?"

"No, but I do choose to teach them things relating to the Muggle world that they may actually find interesting."

Severus snorted. "Do you not think they would find the idea of, say, electricity interesting? Or perhaps the study of Muggle money, as perhaps they may actually need that information someday?"

"Professor Snape, I assure you that I know what my students will need to know. Many of the students in this particular class are very familiar with those topics already as quite a few of them are Muggle-born. I would ask you to kindly respect the fact that I am no longer a student and do not wish or need to be instructed by you in regards to my own syllabus."

"I suppose the next thing you will be doing," Severus continued as if he hadn't even heard her, "is teaching them about that horrid Muggle music, the likes of which I found you listening to the day you arrived. Certainly that would be terribly useful information for them. And I imagine you will follow that with the study of 'how to dance like you have been cursed with an Unforgivable'."

"Professor!" Hermione flushed and Severus was quite enjoying the sight. He decided to continue, to see just how deep that flush actually went but he was interrupted before he could speak.

"Professor Snape, I do not know what I have done to warrant being treated in such a way. I should have known not to expect decent manners from the likes of you, even if I am fully qualified to teach this class and you, sir, are not. I ask you to keep your boorish comments and disrespectful opinions to yourself."

Severus considered himself to have mellowed quite a bit since the defeat of Mr. Gloomy by the-boy-who-managed-to-pull-it-off and was affronted at her assumption that he was still a snarky bastard, even if he was.

"Miss... excuse me, Professor Granger..."

"That's it, isn't it," she interrupted. "You simply can't get over the fact that I am now a teacher here as well, is that it?"

"Honestly, Granger, that has nothing to do with it."

"Oh, well, what is it?"

"Well," he paused. There was something else that was bugging him, wasn't there? "I simply think that you should not waste the students' time teaching them about horrid Muggle pop culture and focus on things of import. Merlin knows your choice of music is debatable, and I can only hope you won't be sharing any of that racket with them. The last thing we need are hallways filled with the sounds of Muggle pop music."

Hermione considered herself to be quite savvy and took a great deal of pride in her taste in music. Thus, she was highly offended by his remark. "Hmph! You and your hypercritical attitude; will it ever end? I am no longer your student, Professor. I'm not even an apprentice. I am a teacher, and while you may still have some seniority over me here, I do not appreciate your harassment. I put up with enough of it in my time as a student but not now. I have had it with you!"

With a mighty swish and flick, flick and swish, a small white box appeared terribly close to Severus' right ear.

"Miss Granger, what is this?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"My present to you, Professor. They're quite expensive in the Muggle world but I thought you might appreciate it."

"But what is it?" He was losing his patience. The box was hovering terribly close to him and he tried to swat it away. It evaded his swat and began bobbing in circles around his head. At that moment it began to issue forth whiny music. At least Severus assumed it was music. Click Here For Music By Audioslave

"It's an iPod, Professor. I do hope you enjoy it." She turned and stormed away. Severus was too busy to notice she had gone as he was still swatting at the evasive I-thing. He took out his wand and tried blasting the damned thing, but it seemed to have some protective charm around it.

"Miss Granger, I insist you take back this ridiculous nonsense this moment. I don't have time for this! Miss Granger?" He looked around and finally noticed she had gone. "Bloody hell!" He stormed off towards Albus' office with the white box hovering and wailing close behind him.

(End Music)

"Why Severus, it's an iPod... and a very nice one too. These are quite expensive in the Muggle world. I suggest you go and thank Professor Granger for this lovely gift."

"Albus, I don't want it! I don't need this thing floating around my head blaring noise at me and disrupting my classes. I don't have time for this. I insist you make her remove this spell."

"Well, it doesn't seem to be causing too much trouble at the moment, Severus. How do you turn it on?"

"I don't." He sighed. "It no doubt chooses the most inopportune time to come on. Just to aggravate me, I'm sure. I suspect Miss Granger put no thought at all into what she was doing. I just want it gone!"

"Now, now, Severus. We both know Professor Granger puts a great deal of thought into everything she undertakes. I personally think it is ingenious. How wonderful! You can enjoy Muggle music at any time of the day. Here, Severus, think very hard about turning it on and let me see what happens."

Severus sat glaring at the twinkling fool.

"Come along, Severus. Don't spoil the fun. I just want to see what happens. Try hard now."

"No, Albus."

"Severus, don't be such a spoil sport."

"No." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Now, why not?"

"Albus, you are not helping!"

Dumbledore stepped back to his desk and stood twirling his beard through his fingers. Severus recognized the brief glint in the headmaster's eyes before the man spoke.

"Miss Granger certainly is quite a pretty young thing. And so bright. Quite lovely, indeed. She has matured quite nicely, don't you think? I should think you would be grateful for the opportunity to see her again after so many years. Perhaps you and she might..."

"Albus!" Severus roared and stood. But it was too late, the white box began to vibrate and a man's voice began to chant. Click Here For Music by Gary Puckett

Young girl, get out of my mind

My love for you is way out of line

Better run, girl

You're much too young, girl...

The two men stood there gaping at the box. Severus began swatting. Albus began to clap.

"AHA! Severus, that's it! You did it! It's playing you a song. Ha Ha! Truly wonderful. Oh! Like a Muggle soundtrack." The Headmaster was practically bouncing at his own discovery. Severus kept swatting.

Albus sat down and tapped his foot along with the music. "Ah, Severus, young love. She is no longer a student and you have my blessing."

Severus ignored the Headmaster and just glared at the box.

"Wonderful, wonderful! Hmm... now let's see what happens if I say...VOLDEMORT!"

Severus had been quite glad to see the Dark Lord defeated years ago, but surely there are some things that one never fully recovers from. For Severus, hearing the name of the Dark Lord could freeze the blood in his veins. And it did, especially as the pervert stopped singing that lecherous song and instead was replaced by an eerie sound.

(End Gary Puckett. Begin Disturbed.)

The two men stood there gaping at the box yet again as it began screaming.

Fear is on thee again

Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh

Reject

Are you no one

Feel you nothing

You know I'll bet you think

You have a good reason to be living

In the limelight of the fortunate ones

You're too weakened by the poison

That they feed you in the living lie

They don't believe you

Call to no one

Trust in nothing

Little impotent one

"Wow, Severus."

Severus took out his wand and began foolishly waving it at the offensive box.

"Finite! Finite Incantatem! Silencio! Evanesco! Incendio! Reducto! Quietus! Riddikulus! Desino! Desiit! Quiesco! Turn off! Bugger! Don't you see, Albus? I can't have this!"

"Ha ha, good show, my boy!" Albus said, clapping. "However, I don't believe any amount of Latin you decide to spout will stop this particular charm from running it's course."

"Argh!" Severus grabbed his head in his hands and sank down into the nearest chair.

"Now, now, Severus. Perhaps Professor Granger simply wishes you to gain a better appreciation for Muggle music." He smiled to himself and Severus knew what he was really thinking; the infuriating woman wanted to teach him a lesson. Well, Severus could control his emotions. He did not need some chit teaching him anything.

"Albus, you aren't going to do anything about this, are you?"

The Headmaster simply smiled back.

"Fine. I can deal with this." Severus stood and made his way to the door with the box still screaming. It was time for class.