Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling.

A/N: Thank yous and truck loads of dark chocolate to my betas Lariope and ladyinthecloak.

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Chapter 9

It was still early, and Severus knew he had some time before he was to meet Hermione in the sitting room. They had much to discuss, yet he was at a loss as to where to begin. Did he love her? He did not recall feeling this way when he had been in love with Lily, but he was a lot older now and had seen and done things no sane man would admit to. Had he really loved Lily? From a young boy's perspective he thought he had, but with age comes wisdom. He could not imagine sending Hermione from his life and, in fact, had stopped her when he thought she would go this afternoon. Yet, with Lily it had been so easy to have the cruel word "Mudblood" fall from his tongue laced with sarcasm and hate. He had tried to apologize, as was only appropriate. Yet, it had been almost easy to continue on without Lily's presence in his life. Hermione, though, had become a part of his life without invitation and without his realization. He woke each morning looking forward to the day and the time spent on research in the lab with her. More time than he would like to admit he found himself thinking about the morning in his chambers. Could it be possible what he felt or what he thought he felt for Lily all of those years was not true love?

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Hermione settled on the settee in the sitting room with a book to pass the time until Severus had finished getting Remus settled for the night, but her mind was not on the latest tome discussing rain-forest plants and their uses in potion making. She found herself thinking back over the last month and a half, and its culmination of her falling in love with the most unlovable professor of her Hogwarts years.

Admittedly, she had had a crush on him during her fifth year. What girl didn't go through the bad boy phase? He was dark and broody, and one couldn't get any more "bad boy" than a Death Eater, but she thought she had gotten over that infatuation. Hermione was astute enough to know what she was feeling now went beyond infatuation and girlhood fantasies. She wanted to comfort him and care for him in a way that she never wanted to comfort or care for Ron. Something about Severus Snape pulled at her heart. Would it be foolish to explore these feelings and try to build a relationship with the irascible man?

Hermione was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of Severus entering the sitting room with a tray of tea. "How is Remus? Has he taken the first dose of the potion?"

Feeling awkward himself, Severus was grateful for the diversion presented in discussing the potion. "Yes, all appears to be well. Remus took the first phial about an hour ago and should take the second just after moonrise. I have placed a monitoring spell on the room, so we will know if intervention is necessary."

"Are you sure it is safe to have him more or less unconfined?" Hermione asked as she worried her lower lip.

Severus' eyes were unaccountably drawn to the damage she was doing to her lower lip. As she raked her teeth over it, bringing blood to the surface, it plumped and appeared as if she had been well and soundly kissed. Tormenting his mind with the memories of the kiss they had shared just before he tried to let her go. How could I think I could let her go?

"Hermione..."

"Severus..."

They both spoke at once.

Severus continued, "I know it is only polite to ask you to continue, but if you would not mind there is something I wish to say... something I must tell you."

Surprised Severus was desirous of speaking, Hermione hastened for him to continue. She settled, once again, upon the settee to give him her full attention. To her continued surprise, Severus seated himself next to her...taking her hand in his.

Looking into her eyes, Severus began to speak. "Earlier today, I had every intention of running you off for your own good. No one ever finds happiness when they are involved in my life. I am a hard and bitter man, Hermione."

At this proclamation Hermione could remain silent no longer. "Just what do you mean? You intended to run me off? I am a sentient being, Severus, able to think for myself," she ranted as she pulled her hand from his and began to pace the length of the room.

"Hermione, will you please just listen to what I have to say? This is not easy for me," he pleaded with both his words and his eyes.

"I will listen, but know that no one...not you, Remus, or anyone else has the right to determine my future for me," Hermione stated in a tone that would brook no arguments.

Nodding his understanding, it was now Severus who paced the floor. For a man who had always had the words to save his life when facing the Dark Lord, he was lost at what to say to this young woman, who now held his future in her hands. He thought back to the joy he had felt when she first told him of her love for him. Had it only been this afternoon? In less than twenty-four hours, this beautiful young woman had turned his world upside down. "Hermione, do you remember the conversation we had in the lab? The one where you offered to take Veritaserum...?"

Her eyes flew to his face, the color draining from her own as she searched his for any sign to tell her what he was thinking; she nodded her understanding. Was he going to tell her she was a fool? That he could never love her? She felt her heart beat in her chest, amazed it did not just leap out to flop about the floor.

In an uncharacteristic sign of frustration, Severus raked his hands through his hair, pulling on the lank strands to the point of pain. "Maybe I am the one who needs to take Veritaserum," he muttered to himself. "It might make all of this easier." Not realizing he had spoken aloud, he was startled to hear Hermione's throaty chuckle. "I hardly find this situation humorous, Miss Granger," he snarled. This only exacerbated Hermione's mirthful response.

She was now laughing so hard she had to hold her sides with her arms wrapped around her midriff, as it dawned on her why he was so out of sorts. "Oh, you dear man, this is funny...ridiculously so!" She continued to chuckle. "Here I sit afraid you are trying to let me down easy, and all of the time you are trying to tell me you love me!" With these words, Severus found himself with his arms full of the happy witch and being kissed soundly so there was no hope of him responding.

Severus took the opportunity to tell her, in the only way he could, that he did indeed love her. When the two broke apart, both were breathless. In awe of all that had transpired, without a word being spoken, they continued to hold each other in fear of breaking the spell surrounding them. Some moments later, in the quiet of the evening, Severus whispered into her hair, "I do love you, Hermione Granger."

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The calm surrounding the two was broken by a magnified moaning sound coming from Severus' chambers. Both tensed. Had the potion failed? Were they now faced with a virtually unconfined werewolf capable of killing them both? Severus gently guided Hermione to the settee. "Hermione, please stay here while I go check on Remus. Until we know the situation, it is not wise for both of us to be in jeopardy."

"No..."

"Hermione," Severus very nearly growled himself. "We cannot risk Remus being unconfined if he has transformed."

"I know...just please be careful," she whispered, the fear evident in her eyes.

Severus gently brushed her cheek with the tips of his fingers as he turned toward his chambers. The moaning had continued, but sounded no more violent in nature than someone who had had too many pints and no hangover potion. Still cautious, Severus gently palmed the door, checking the wards he had placed earlier in the evening. The moon had risen while he and Hermione had been speaking; yet, this was the first sound to have come from the room where Remus was contained. Had he transformed, would they not have heard the disturbance? Werewolf transformation was not known to be a peaceful process. With his wand drawn, Severus lowered only the wards necessary to allow him entry into the room.

The room was dim, lit only by the light of the full moon framed in the window looking out to the back garden. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the Potions master's eyes darted about the room searching for the source of the moaning he could now hear without aid of the magnification charm he had cancelled upon entering the room. There was no sign of a violent transformation; everything appeared the same as it had when Severus had exited the room before moonrise.

Finally, Severus' eyes located the source of the plaintive moaning in the form of Remus, who was lying on the bed. Not Remus the werewolf, but the man. There was no sign of transformation in his appearance though he continued to moan... in his sleep. He was asleep and moaning as if he were dreaming! Severus could not hold back the laughter that emitted from his throat in pure relief.

The sound of his laughter woke the dreaming man from his slumber. "Severus, what is so funny to have you laughing like a hyena?" Remus asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, moaning once again.

The sounds of Severus' laughter had brought Hermione to the doorway. "Severus, Remus, what is going on?"

With the first genuine smile to grace his face in two decades, the dour Potions master pulled her into a rib-cracking hug as he continued to laugh his relief. Some moments later, he was able to collect himself and explain the moaning they had heard was Remus dreaming.

As Remus sat up in bed, his eyes drifted to the window looking out upon the luminous full moon gracing the starless sky. With a gasp he bolted from the bed, still transfixed by the orb in the sky. "It has been more than twenty-five years since I have gazed upon such a beautiful sight." He sighed. As tears tracked his face, he began to sob uncontrollably. In an instant, Hermione was holding the man as he laughed, cried, and laughed some more into her hair as he allowed himself to be consoled.

It was soon discovered that not all the moaning was dream induced. Remus was indeed suffering muscle spasms as his body resisted its natural inclination to transform. Severus provided another dose of the potion, and soon he was comfortable enough to converse with the pair. They continued their conversation long into the night. Remus detailed how he had felt prior to moonrise.

The potion had effectively allowed him to remain cognitively aware of his surroundings, though he had felt some minor muscle contractions. After taking the second dose, he had waited with bated breath, lying on the duvet...sure he would soon experience the horrors and pain of transformation. As he waited, he must have drifted off. It was close to four in the morning when his moaning had alerted Hermione and Severus to his distress. The third dose consumed shortly past four alleviated the residual muscle spasms and the werewolf appeared healthy and less haggard than he had in years at this time of the month. All were greatly relieved that the trial, for all intents and purposes, had been a success. A slight modification to the dosing would eliminate the need for a third dose, but they had prevented a werewolf from transforming.

In mid-sentence, Hermione struggled to contain a yawn, covering her mouth when her efforts were unsuccessful.

"To bed for you, Miss Granger," the Potions master decreed when yet a second yawn followed the first.

"I must say, I agree; we have been up all night. You must be exhausted as well, Professor." Hermione sighed through another yawn.

"This is not the first night in which sleep has eluded me," Severus stated blandly. He did not want to dwell on all of the nights he had lain awake fearing for Albus' life in the past months.

"Hermione is right, Severus," Remus interjected. "There is no need to stay with me now that the sun is on the rise, and you both could use some rest before we inform the Headmaster of your success."

Severus hesitated; it was true that Lupin would not need to be monitored any longer, but he did not wish to retire alone to the settee in the sitting room.

Remus could see the discomfiture on the Potions master's face. "Off you go, the both of you, I intend on catching a bit more rest myself."

Hermione was already headed out the door, intent on her bed, yet still waiting to see what Severus would do. She desperately wanted him to follow her. After the revelations of their long conversation during the night, she wished for nothing more than to lie next to him in his arms as she drifted off to sleep. Yet, she did not know how he would react to such a suggestion; everything was still so fresh, new and uncertain between them. "I am so knackered I would not be surprised if I fell asleep on the way to my bed." She yawned again on her way out the door.

"Perhaps I should escort you, Miss Granger; we would not want you to fall asleep on the stairs and cause yourself injury," Severus stated in his most bored professor voice.

Hermione felt the shiver his voice induced course down her spine and settle in the pit of her stomach as he offered his arm to her in a formal manner.