Chapter Four

Disclaimer: JKR owns it all. I'm just having fun.

Present Day

Sunlight attempted to stream through the small, grimy window, the diffused rays just bright enough to awaken the man on the cot. Severus yawned and then stretched before swinging his legs to the side and sitting up.

It had been a long, arduous week since they had arrived at Spinner's End. Hermione's injuries had initially required constant care, and when he had been able to rest, his dreams had been filled with memories of the past six months, his sleep punctuated by an irrational compulsion to monitor Hermione's breathing. He was exhausted both physically and mentally; morning had come much too early.

Severus yawned again and rubbed his face with his hands before rising to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully, her ridiculous hair fanning out across the white pillowcase.

Her injuries had healed better than he had anticipated; she was no longer in pain, and her cuts and abrasions were no longer visible. The worst of the burns now appeared merely as reddened patches of skin and would disappear completely over the next few days. She had been experiencing some slight dizziness, a side effect of all the medicinal potions she had ingested, but that would dissipate with time. Overall, Hermione had been quite lucky...not only had she survived with no long-term physical damage, there would be no scarring.

He exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him before walking down the stairs to the kitchen. As he prepared breakfast, Severus considered the missive he had received from Potter the previous night. The Aurors had discovered that Apperson was behind the attack on Hermione and was now on the run. Fortunately, the wizard he had hired to deliver the explosive had been captured quickly and was more than willing to talk; apparently Bulgaria's wizarding prison made Azkaban seem like Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour. The hired wand had not been informed as to Apperson's motive for the attack, but he had said that he had been hired to frighten and injure, not to kill.

Severus sighed as he filled two plates with eggs, bacon, and toast. He still needed to talk with Hermione about what she recalled of the explosion. In the week they had been holed up in the tiny ramshackle house, he had successfully avoided speaking with his erstwhile inamorata beyond the necessary inquiries regarding her health and care, and he liked it that way...it was safer.

He scowled at the thought of Hermione Granger affecting him in any way whatsoever, but there was no sense in denying it. He was an idiot if he allowed her to draw him in again, and yet every moment he remained in her presence, he was in danger of doing just that.

Once breakfast was placed on the table, Severus cast a warming charm on the plates and returned to the small upstairs bedroom to awaken Hermione. When he opened the door, he found her already sitting up, blinking the sleep from her eyes, her hair fluffed out in a wide halo about her head. His lips twitched involuntarily in amusement as he took in the sheer enormity of her untamed locks, and he unwittingly released a soft huff of laughter.

Hermione swung her head toward the door at the sound and glared at him. "Shut up," she said morosely as she crossed her arms under her breasts.

Severus' chest ached at hearing the familiar rebuke, even though the teasing tone was conspicuously absent.

She sighed, and her lower lip began to tremble. Hardening his heart against the pitiful picture she made, Severus asked coldly, "Are you in pain?" She shook her head and stared at the quilted counterpane. "Would you care to enlighten me as to the cause of your snivelling?"

That got a rise out of her.

She scowled at him. "How about the fact that I have been here for a week and have not yet had a proper bath? I am tired of cleansing spells; I feel horrid and filthy, my teeth are disgusting, and my hair is frizzy and knotted ... and it looks like a giant, brown pygmy puff!" she exclaimed as she fell back onto the mattress and turned onto her side to face the wall.

A pang of guilt at having not considered her basic personal hygiene pierced his emotional armour, and Severus closed his eyes to hide his remorse. Careful to maintain his unfeeling façade, he sneered and said, "I shall run you a bath." He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room.

The bathroom had not been used in years, and it had been filthy before he had cleaned it that first morning. Severus had used magic to scrub and disinfect every surface, and he had repaired a few broken pipes as well, so that the facilities would be both spotless and operational. He turned on the taps to fill the tub and then cast a warming charm to heat the water to a comfortable temperature. When he was satisfied, he returned to the bedroom to fetch Hermione.

She was sitting cross-legged on top of the bed linens, the position, along with her sullen expression and gigantic hair, giving her the appearance of a small, pouting child. When she turned to look at him, her expression strangely defiant, he noticed her heart-shaped face was streaked with tears.

"What is wrong now?" he demanded gruffly, irritated that he still cared about her emotional well-being.

Her cheeks turned pink, and she wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of the nightdress he had Transfigured from his handkerchief. "Nothing."

Severus stared at her for a long moment, searching for indications that she was hiding any lingering pain, before he nodded and said, "Your bath is ready. Come."

As she was still slightly shaky on her feet, he helped her walk to the bathroom and then left to allow her privacy. While she bathed, he returned to the kitchen to recast the warming charm on their breakfast. He sat at the table to wait; she would need his help to return to the bedroom. His fingers drummed on the tabletop as he desperately tried to think about something other than Hermione, naked, only a floor above him.

When he heard the sound of the tub draining, he walked upstairs to wait for her in the hallway outside the bathroom. The door opened just as he reached it, and there stood Hermione, clad only in a towel, her wet hair dripping onto the floor. Gritting his teeth, he took her elbow and guided her to the bedroom.

"I will leave you to dress," he said, intent on escaping her presence as quickly as possible.

Her hand reached out and touched his arm, causing him to pull away abruptly. A flash of pain crossed her features, and she looked away before muttering, "If it isn't any trouble, I would like a fresh nightdress. The other one is beginning to smell."

Muttering to himself about troublesome witches, Severus Summoned the trunk Potter had sent that morning and dug through her belongings until he found a fresh nightdress. Thrusting the article of clothing at her, he snarled, "Satisfied?"

Hermione's brown eyes narrowed; she ripped the gown from his hand and snapped, "It's fine. I don't know what your problem is, Severus, but if you cannot speak to me civilly, I would rather you do not speak to me at all. I've done nothing to deserve such disdainful condescension."

Glowering at her, Severus ground out, "Get dressed. I will wait in the hall to escort you to breakfast. And I have a few questions for you."

He caught the hopeful gleam in her eye and quickly moved to crush it. "There has been a break in the investigation." He observed with grim satisfaction as her face fell, and then he left the room, shutting the door behind him with a resounding click.

~o0o~

Breakfast was eaten in discomfiting silence.

When they were finished with the meal, Severus placed the dishes into the sink to be washed up later and then returned to his seat at the table.

"Potter sent a message late last night in regard to the investigation of your attack. It appears that Apperson is the one responsible, and he's currently on the run. The Aurors do not believe it will take long to capture him...he hasn't attempted to cover his tracks."

Hermione looked at him in alarm. "He must have found out about us, somehow."

Severus nodded. "That appears to be the case. Also, the wizard Apperson hired to harm you has stated under Veritaserum that the intention was to frighten, not to kill. That explains why your injuries, while severe, were not life-threatening."

"I see," she said slowly. "But how did he discover us? And when?"

She wouldn't like what he was about to suggest, but he knew it was the only way. "With your permission, I would like to examine your memories of that day. Perhaps there is something that will help us answer those questions."

"Legilimency?"

He inclined his head. "Yes."

"All right," she said without hesitation.

Severus felt as though he could be knocked over with a feather. Hermione's steadfast trust in him...even now...continued to astound him.

"Shall we do it right away? I'd feel more comfortable in the sitting room, I think," Hermione explained as she stood from the table.

Disconcerted, Severus simply looked at her, as though he had never seen her before.

"Severus?"

He shook his head. "Forgive me." He stood to his feet and then offered his arm for her to lean on as they walked to the sitting room.

Once she was comfortably seated on the sofa, he sat down next to her. "Turn toward me. Yes, like that," he said as she turned to sit at an angle, her knees touching his. "Are you certain you wish to do this?"

Hermione took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. "Yes. Cast the spell."

Severus raised his wand. "Bring the memories of that day to the forefront of your mind .... Legilimens."

She must have removed all of her Occlumency shields, because he entered easily, immediately accessing the memory he needed.

He watched as she first awakened...it appeared to be early afternoon...and he found himself swallowed by her immense sadness. She listlessly lay around the villa for hours, staring into nothingness and ignoring her grumbling stomach. Was she ill? He examined her appearance closely; her face was pale, and there were dark circles under her eyes, but otherwise she appeared healthy. The overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion surrounded the memory. Was she pining for him? Uncomfortable with the implications of such thoughts, Severus moved onward.

He followed Hermione outside to the garden, where she moped on the chaise lounge. Merlin's beard, was that all she had done for the entire day? After a long while, the gardener arrived, so she left him to his work and went back inside where she lay down on the sofa in the living room and attempted to read a book. Baffled by her depressed state but seeing nothing unusual, Severus skipped ahead.

He soon found what he had been seeking and watched as Hermione dragged herself from her reclining position on the sofa to answer a knock at the door. When she opened it, there was no one there ... but there was a package, wrapped up like a gift. Slowing the memory, Severus stepped forward, bending down to examine the square box. It was wrapped in pale blue paper and tied up with a ribbon. There was no note attached, no address, nothing to indicate either the sender or the intended recipient. He felt a burst of hope permeate the fog of sadness around her, and then she reached for the box ....

Severus abruptly ended the spell and stood, immediately beginning to pace angrily in front of her, his eyes wide with rage and fear. "What the hell were you thinking?!" he bellowed. "You picked up a package that you were not expecting, that had no indication of who it was from, nor who it was to.... Such an amateur mistake for an Auror of your calibre! You are smarter than that! Why in Merlin's name did you pick it up?"

Hermione leapt to her feet. "Because I hoped it was from you!"

Severus took a step back and stared at her, her words echoing in his ears.

"I thought maybe you had ... reconsidered," she mumbled as she sat back down, her eyes downcast.

Pain and guilt came crashing down around him as he finally allowed his mind to begin to put the pieces together, painting a very different picture of the events ten days ago. If she were engaged to Weasley, why hadn't he contacted her since the attack? Why had she not asked about him a single time? Severus considered her confusion and hurt when he had informed her that he had no intention of continuing a relationship with her, her profound melancholy after he had left, her hope at seeing a possible peace offering from him .... Suddenly, he realised he had to know for certain, his pride be damned.

"Hermione," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "are you, or have you ever been, engaged to be married to Ronald Weasley?"

Her eyes snapped to his. "What are you talking about? Of course not! Ron is like a brother to me!"

Severus turned away, his shoulders hunching over as he buckled under the gravity of his error. Without turning around, he whispered, "I do not believe Mr Weasley is aware of that fact...there is an engagement ring in your bag of jewellery."

Overcome with remorse, he Disapparated.

~o0o~

Severus stood outside the front door of the house in Spinner's End, having walked back from the small park he had once played in as a child. He had spent several hours there contemplating what an idiot he was and how he had once again managed to bollocks things up when it came to love.

Because he did love her...and he had lost her before he had even fully realised the depth of his devotion.

He inhaled deeply, gathered the remnants of his tattered pride, and Apparated into the sitting room. Voices drifted into the room from the kitchen, and recognising them as Hermione and Potter, Severus moved to join the pair in the kitchen.

The two friends were seated at the table, deep in conversation, when Hermione noticed Severus enter the room.

"Where have you been?" she demanded. "I was worried sick!" She was obviously irate with him, but Severus felt strangely satisfied that she had been concerned for his welfare.

"I needed to think. I went to..."

She shook her head him, her untamed curls flying about her head and shoulders. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. Harry's just arrived to let us know they've caught Apperson."

Severus glared at her in reproach for her rudeness in interrupting him but then turned to Harry who nodded his agreement. "Found him in Milan this morning. We've already interrogated him, and yes, we used Veritaserum," he said in anticipation of Severus' question. "He had some interesting things to say."

Hermione ducked her head, and her cheeks turned crimson. Severus arched an eyebrow at her reaction, but she would not look at him.

"How was our cover blown, Potter?" Severus asked, realising he was not going to get much, if any, information out of Hermione.

"Well, it was the..."

Pop!

"Hermione!"

Weasley, Severus thought grimly, sliding a glance at Hermione. She was already scowling at her ginger friend as he rushed to her, gathering her up in a tight embrace.

"Let go of me, Ronald."

Severus had never heard Hermione speak so coldly. Apparently, neither had Weasley, because he immediately released her and stepped back, eying her warily.

"I missed you," Weasley said earnestly, although his tone was slightly hesitant in the face of Hermione's vexation.

"That's nice," she replied evenly, her words belied by the flash of annoyance that crossed her face.

"He's in trouble now," Potter murmured before turning to face Severus. "Why don't we go to the sitting room and let them have it out?"

Severus was reluctant to leave Hermione with the other wizard, but he agreed and followed Potter into the adjoining room. He sat on the sofa, making certain that he could see Hermione and Weasley as they visibly argued in the kitchen. She must have cast a Silencing Charm, because although he could see them, he could not hear a word of what was being said...or yelled, by the looks of things.

"It was the gardener," Potter said, interrupting Severus' visual eavesdropping.

Severus shook his head in confusion. "Pardon me, but did you say it was the gardener?"

The younger wizard nodded. "Apparently he worked for Apperson. His job was to keep an eye on the latest pure-blood family who might be a good fit for the party, to see if you were really 'worthy' to join. According to Apperson, everything was fine until a few days after he approached you about contributing financially to the campaign. The gardener happened to see you and Hermione in your back garden."

Frustrated and bewildered, Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and replied, "We always wore our glamour charms outside of the villa. How would that have revealed we weren't who we said we were?"

A flush crept up Potter's neck to his cheeks, and he looked away as he carefully explained, "Erm ... he saw you ...." He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck with and grimaced. "Let's just say you weren't exactly acting like uncle and niece."

Severus closed his eyes and groaned. How could they have been so stupid? He should have known better. There was no excusing his actions; he had been so caught up in Hermione that he had lost all higher brain function and completely ignored their reason for being there in the first place.

"Yeah, well," Potter said, his cheeks still pink, "there you have it. Apperson didn't know who you were, just that you weren't who you claimed. That was enough to worry him, and he wanted to scare you a bit. He thought if one of you was injured, you'd back off."

Guilt was a feeling Severus was very familiar with, but it was always a hard potion to swallow. If he had trusted in Hermione, if he hadn't been such an arse to her, she would have never stayed behind after he left. Not only had he ruined his relationship with her, his actions had almost got her killed.

Potter continued his explanation, focussing on how the Aurors had tracked Apperson to Milan and captured him.

But Severus' attention was now focussed on the pair he could see arguing in the kitchen...well, Hermione was arguing. Weasley was cowering. She was gesticulating wildly, her hands cutting a path through the air as she pointed at Severus. Weasley turned his head and goggled at Severus before turning back to Hermione with a wounded expression. Her gestures and body language suggested that she was quite emphatic about whatever she was telling the wizard. Weasley held out his hands to her, but Hermione shook her head as she crossed her arms. She seemed sad now, her face relaxing from its pinched appearance and her shoulders slumping slightly. She pulled her wand...causing Weasley to startle...and pointed it in the direction of the stairs. Within moments, a familiar black velvet bag flew into her hands. Hermione reached inside and pulled out the small box that had been the impetus of Severus' folly. She paused momentarily before solemnly holding it out to Weasley. When he refused to take it, she reached forward and grabbed his hand, placing the box in his palm and forcing his fingers to curl around it. Hermione turned away from her friend, while Weasley stared at the box in his hand. Severus watched as Weasley's posture changed and his face flushed as he angrily shouted, the infamous Weasley temper emerging. Hermione ignored him, however, and after shooting a withering glare at Severus, Weasley Disapparated.

Severus took a step forward, intending to comfort a now visibly distraught Hermione. As if she sensed his approach, she turned to face him and shook her head angrily, the word "no" forming on her lips before she left the room, carefully making her way up the stairs.

He swore he literally felt his heart break. He'd lost her.

"I hope this doesn't ruin their friendship," Potter muttered, drawing Severus' attention back to the young Auror. "Ron's never been able to accept the fact that Hermione doesn't think of him as anything more than a brother. I think he might have pushed her too far this time."

Severus stared morosely at the empty kitchen. "I'm going home," he said, his tone devoid of emotion. "Reset the wards before you leave."

Potter's eyes widened in alarm. "Wait a minute, sir. Don't you want to talk to Her..."

"Tell her that I'm sorry."

And for the second time that day, Severus Disapparated.

~o0o~

The sun was setting, and a warm Mediterranean breeze wafted through the back garden of the small finca. After the war, the Ministry had provided Severus with the small rural property on the island of Majorca...Mallorca to the local residents...and he had appreciated the quiet and solitude the little farm provided. The back garden was his favourite place to read and think, and he enjoyed the view of countryside, the sea visible in the distance.

On this particular evening, however, Severus did not notice the way the last of the sun's rays reflected off the deep blue water. Nor was he able to appreciate the feel of the gentle breeze floating across his skin as he leant against the garden wall and gazed out over the fields surrounding the property.

It had been three days since he had left Spinner's End ... and Hermione. He had Disapparated to London, where he had demanded to meet with Kingsley, informing the Minister that he was taking some time off and was not, under any circumstances, to be disturbed. Kingsley had wisely asked no questions but merely agreed, telling him to take as much time as he needed and to contact him when he was ready to return to work. Severus had then used his Auror medallion to Portkey home, where he could wallow in his misery alone.

And he had indeed wallowed. For the first two days, he did not eat and barely slept, his thoughts consumed with Hermione and his own stupidity. On the second night, he had finally fallen into a fitful sleep, where he was haunted by visions of Hermione and their time together. He had awakened that morning with a jolt, having had a vivid dream in which he could hear Hermione desperately calling for him, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not find her.

On this, the third day, he had gone to the back garden in the early afternoon and sat for hours contemplating his relationship with Hermione and wondering if perhaps he had given up too quickly. He recalled the last day in Bulgaria when he had pondered how dissimilar she was to Lily; whereas Lily had not forgiven, he had been certain that Hermione would. And yet he had run from her, not wanting to give her the opportunity to reject his apology...to reject him.

Merlin's beard. He was an emotional cripple.

Finding that completely unacceptable, Severus had immediately packed a bag with the intention of returning to Britain on the morrow. This time, he would fight for the woman he loved. He would find Hermione and beg her forgiveness for his mistrust and jealousy. He would prostrate himself at her feet in supplication and plead with her to grant him the opportunity to love her ....

He only hoped she would listen.

~o0o~

Severus Apparated into the small back garden at the house in Spinner's End. He had searched everywhere for Hermione, only to come up empty handed. Where in Hades could she be? She wasn't at her flat, nor was she with the Potters; he had even checked with Weasley, all to no avail. Either they truly did not know where she was, or she had told them not to speak to him of her whereabouts. Both thoughts were disconcerting.

Exhausted by the long day spent travelling, first by Portkey and then by Apparition, Severus wearily dragged himself up the back stairs and entered the house.

"I see you took the long way home."

Severus stared in disbelief.

"Hermione?" After all his searching, he found her here of all places, sitting in the kitchen of his childhood home, a cup of tea on the table in front of her. "What are you doing here?" he said. "How did you..."

"Shut up," she interrupted, her body rigid and trembling with emotion. "I mean it. Just shut up. I am going to talk, and you are going to listen. Understood?" Her expression was fierce, and her eyes gleamed with determination.

Under normal circumstances, Severus would never have allowed such blatant disrespect toward his person, but this was Hermione. And she was here.... He did the only thing he could do...he nodded his acquiescence.

"Good," she snarled, an adorable little scowl marring her features; Severus thought she was beautiful.

"You are an arse, Severus Snape. I cannot believe you would just leave and ask Harry to make your apologies," she exclaimed, standing to pace the length of the tiny kitchen, much as Severus was wont to do when riled. "You have developed this annoying habit of making terrible misjudgements when it comes to me, and I do not like it. Not one whit!" She stopped in front of him and crossed her arms across her chest. "Explain yourself."

Severus opened his mouth to speak.

"How could you think that of me?" Hermione raged as she resumed her pacing with renewed vigour. "You honestly believed that I would begin a relationship with you while I was supposedly engaged to someone else? What sort of person do you think I am? Or was it even about me? Do you know what I think? I think it was about you and your insecurities. I understand you were jealous, but Merlin's hairy toes, Severus! I would hope you know me well enough to know that I would never have done such a thing! Don't you know me better than that? Well? Answer me!"

"Hermione, I apologise. I..."

"The only thing that is keeping me from hexing you to Hades and back again is that I am fully aware of how little experience you have with relationships and emotional entanglements," she interrupted once again. "But I warn you now, Severus Snape, if you ever do this to me again, we will be finished! Do you understand me? I love you, but I will not tolerate the kind of flagrant mistrust you have demonstrated over the past few weeks, not once but twice! Not only that, but you purposefully set out to hurt me, and I swear to Merlin himself, I will ..."

But Severus was no longer listening to her threats of bodily harm...she had said she loved him. Anything beyond that was unimportant. Hermione had forgiven him, and she loved him.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile at the sight of her ranting in front of him, completely oblivious to her surroundings as she threatened and blustered. He moved until he was behind her, falling into step with her as she paced. As she reached the edge of the room, she spun on her heel, and Severus made his move, grabbing her by the upper arms and pulling her to him before kissing her soundly. She stiffened in surprise, and then threw her arms around his neck as she enthusiastically returned his embrace.

They clung to each other, their hands roaming and reacquainting, and Severus revelled in the feeling of having her in his arms again. Dragging his lips along her jaw line, he pressed her closer until his mouth reached her ear.

"Forgive me. Please," he murmured.

"I already have," Hermione whispered as she pressed her body as close to his as she possibly could; her arms squeezed him tightly, and she burrowed her face where his neck and shoulder met, her curls tickling as he buried his nose in her hair.

A wave of profound relief washed over him, and he was overcome with gratitude. He held her tenderly, one hand tangled in her hair as the other stroked up and down her back. "I know that I will not say this as often as you would like, Hermione, but I do love you. Never doubt that."

And then he scooped her up into his arms and made his way up the stairs to the tiny bedroom, intent on making her fully his ... for good this time.

A/N: My unending gratitude, once again, to Subversa and Deanna for their wonderful beta reading. A huge thanks to LettyBird for the fabulous job she does Brit picking. You are all the best!