Five
Chapter 5 of 11
richardgloucesterA little light plotting; and Neville's popularity actually increases.
ReviewedSummary:Neville, Snape and Hermione return to Hogwarts after the summer. Some things have changed in the post-Voldemort world how do they cope? (Response to prompt 12 on the Potter Place Fall Challenge Prompt List.)
This is post-DH and EWE. Hermione is of age but a student, so please if you can't take teacher/student relationships, don't read any further.
All characters, places and other things recognisable from the Potterverse do not belong to me. I am writing this for pleasure and make no money from it.
A/N: Huge, enormous, massive thanks and homage to Subversa for her tireless encouragement and meticulous beta-reading.
Chapter 5
Hermione went at once in response to the note she received. She didn't tell anyone where she was going. The Potions master's quarters were in a part of the dungeons she had never seen before, but he had described the route, how to find the hidden door, and given her the password, "Poteen". She felt it was a promising sign that he didn't also tell her how to pronounce it.
When she entered, she found Professor Snape looking grumpy no great surprise there but somehow energised. He launched in without preamble.
"Miss Granger, you're a woman," (you have got to be joking, thought Hermione him too?) "and yet you do not appear to have fallen under Mr. Longbottom's spell. Am I correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"You are telling me that in spite of the fact that you understand in great detail why every other female in the castle is out of her senses with lust for him, you remain immune?"
"Yes, sir."
"And why is that, precisely?"
"I suppose it's because I know him so well, sir. We've been friends since the first year, and so when I look at him, yes, I see his good looks and appreciate them, but he's still just Neville. None of the other girls have ever been friends with him they've mostly just dismissed him, so they don't know what he's like, and all they see is the surface."
"Are women really that superficial?" Snape sounded intrigued.
Hermione bristled a bit.
"No more so than men, sir," she responded tartly. "I don't seem to recall anyone much fancying me until I did my Cinderella act in the fourth year, and that soon petered out when I went back to normal."
She sounded surprisingly jaundiced about that, he thought.
"Touché, Miss Granger. But it is this superficiality among the women here that I wish to address."
"Sir?"
Snape took a deep breath. He was not entirely sure that Hermione would be willing to help him with his scheme. She seemed to him a typical Gryffindor (if rather more intelligent than the usual), straightforward, uncomplicated, distressingly honest in most situations, but he had known her to be unscrupulous on occasion when it suited her or could benefit her friends, and it was on this that he was counting, as her overtures lately had at least seemed sympathetic.
"I have been pondering the subject of popularity," he began. "The contrast between Mr Longbottom's and my own status amongst the school's population, is, to say the least, stark." She looked interested good. "In the light of the contributions which both of us made during the war, this state of affairs is... inequitable. I admit to being discontented with the situation, particularly as regards the women with whom I have worked and whom I have protected as far as I could."
"Go on, sir," she prompted when he paused.
"I wish to demonstrate to them the injustice and superficiality of their behaviour. In truth, Miss Granger, I am angry at the way I am being treated, and I want to strike back," he finished, deciding to be straight with her, as this was likely the best way to assure her cooperation.
"And you want my help with this?"
He nodded, not willing to unbend so far as to ask directly.
"I've been thinking, actually, that the way everyone is treating you is abominable," she continued. "We all know the facts now, about what you did and why, but you're still the scapegoat. Totally unfair. What do you want me to do?" she asked briskly.
"Firstly, I want your objective opinion about my appearance, and suggestions about how I might make myself appealing to women."
Hermione started to say something it sounded a lot like "Oh, but y..." but stopped herself. She closed her eyes briefly and began again. "Stand in the middle of the room and let me look at you."
Snape gritted his teeth as Hermione walked round him, her hands on her hips, her eyes critically surveying every inch of him while she unconsciously chewed on her lower lip in thought. He felt very exposed, particularly when she told him to take off his teaching robe and looked him over again.
"Well?" he felt obliged to ask.
"Would you mind taking your frock coat off, too, sir?" Her tone was all business, now she had a problem to consider. The long row of buttons was duly undone she watched his hands while he did this and the coat followed the robe onto the back of the sofa. Now he was dressed in just his boots, black trousers and white shirt and was more ill-at-ease than ever. He stuck his hands in his pockets. Hermione happened to be behind him at that moment, and murmured appreciatively as the fabric of his trousers was pulled tight across his buttocks, at which he smirked and relaxed a fraction. Perhaps this would work, he thought. His face was impassive by the time she came round to face him again.
"Well?" he said again.
She composed her thoughts and started speaking clinically:
"These are the good points: you are tall, your figure is good, your colouring is unusual but not unattractive, you are intelligent, I'm sure you have a sense of humour in there somewhere, your voice is remarkable and you move well. Sir? I'm not sure that this is really very appropriate..."
"Miss Granger, we stepped past the bounds of propriety when you entered my apartment. Continue."
"Right. The less good points: your hair, your teeth, the way you use your clothes as a disguise, your expression, your habit of saying the first cutting thing that occurs to you, your totally unrelaxed and intimidating demeanour, your persona..."
"I will not change who I am, Miss Granger. That would negate what I am trying to achieve."
"I'm not asking you to change your personality, sir. Just your persona, a very little you of all people should know how to adapt what you project for the company and circumstances in which you find yourself!"
"Very well," he subsided, "continue."
"I think that will be enough to start with, don't you? Do you have a quill and parchment handy? I need to make some notes."
"Of course you do," he said drily. "Come and sit down."
She was surprised to see that the entire floor area between the sofa and the fireplace, not to mention the coffee table and the sofa itself, was strewn with papers. She wondered where exactly she was supposed to sit and reached to move one of the piles aside.
"Not that one!" he barked. "The letter on top is poisoned." He carefully removed the papers to a bookshelf.
"Poisoned? After everything that's happened, they're actually still trying to kill you? That's so unfair! I had no idea!" Hermione was profoundly shocked on his behalf, and her indignation warmed him. He cleared her a space and she sat down. While he went to the small kitchen to prepare some tea, she picked up one of the articles he had been reading earlier. He came back with two mugs to find her laughing quietly.
"I'm glad you never wrote that on any of my essays," she said, accepting her cup with an open, friendly expression such as he had rarely had directed at him.
"Happily, Miss Granger, you have never written anything quite so asinine." He shifted some more rubble to make room for himself.
"You know, Professor, I always thought of you as far more orderly and methodical than this," she gestured to the mess surrounding them.
"This is methodical," he growled, hunting for a clean piece of parchment. "I know exactly where everything is. Aha! Now, where do we begin?"
"With a shopping list..."
Some time later, when Hermione had scribbled down a long list of purchases she considered necessary to what had somehow become their endeavour, she asked, "When would you be able to come to London with me to get all this?"
"You are free on Wednesday afternoons, are you not? Then perhaps this Wednesday," he suggested.
"I'm sorry, sir, but Ron is going to start teaching me to fly properly on Wednesday. How about next Saturday?"
Snape was diverted.
"You, Miss Granger? On a broomstick? Your dislike of flying is legendary!"
"Oh, but I can't leave Hogwarts and have it said that there was anything worthwhile the school had to teach that Hermione Granger couldn't master, can I? Fresh start remember? And with Ron teaching me, I know I won't be laughed at. At least, not much. So what about Saturday, if your House duties will permit."
He looked away, pained.
"I have ceded the Headship of Slytherin to Professor Sinistra. I was... disappointed with the behaviour of my House during the battle last year; I had hoped they might have shown more character."
There was a short silence, which Hermione broke.
"Saturday, then. I'll get permission from Professor McGonagall. And in the meantime, you can get on with stage one."
"Which would be...?"
"We'll start slowly: leave off the robe from time to time. Your suits are well-tailored and show you off, particularly your shoulders. Let them see a little of that. But only a little, mind if you burst forth in all your glory one day, they'll think you've gone to some sort of effort for them, which is not the goal. We want them to end up thinking that they've been blind and foolish all along, and they'll play right into your hands."
"If only you had been in Slytherin, Miss Granger," he deadpanned. "It's after curfew: I'll walk you back to Gryffindor Tower."
"No thanks, Professor, I could use some practice sneaking around."
Before she Disillusioned herself and closed the door behind her, she grinned mischievously, leaving Severus Snape to stare at the two empty mugs perched on a pile of papers and ponder the nature of that "we" she had been throwing around so freely.
During the next week, Hermione learned two things which interested her greatly.
The first was related to her by a breathless Ron Weasley, when she emerged on Sunday evening from a long session in the library. He ambushed her before she got to the common room and pulled her into an empty classroom to tell her the "real story" before any of the rumours came to her ears. Apparently, Neville Longbottom was at that very moment in the Headmistress' office explaining why he had seen fit to curse two fifth-year girls and alter the fabric of the castle. It seemed that he had looked up from his digging that afternoon to find the girls sneaking up on him, trampling several rows of new seedlings in the process. He had seen red and caused them to put down roots and grow branches. He had then noticed that his sanctuary was far from inviolate; many windows overlooked the vegetable gardens, and most of them were occupied. Neville simply made the windows disappear blank walls now overlooked his domain. And he had been so angry that no-one (including himself) had yet been able to undo his spells. Ron had been extremely impressed. "And what were you doing in the vegetable gardens, Ron?" asked Hermione. He blushed.
The two girls Neville had cursed were dug up and replanted in large pots, which were transferred to the hospital wing. Professor Snape, whose expertise was called upon, was also reluctantly impressed. Neville refused point blank to assist the staff in trying to reverse the girls' condition, until it was made clear to him that he would be refused access to gardens and greenhouses until they were restored to normal.
In the morning, it was all over the castle that Neville Longbottom had a Dark Side. The hysteria of adulation actually got worse.
The second piece of news which interested Hermione concerned the Halloween party being planned by Professor McGonagall. She had gone to the Headmistress to ask for permission to visit London, which was granted without question.
"I appreciate you asking me, Miss Granger, but really, as you are of age and have returned voluntarily to complete your schooling beyond the time when ordinarily you would have graduated, I think I can grant you a little freedom in such matters," said Professor McGonagall. "But please be discreet about this. I don't really want half Hogwarts roaming about the country on a whim."
"Certainly, Professor," agreed Hermione. "Is there anything you need me to pick up for you while I am there?"
"As a matter of fact, there is. I have one or two new Transfiguration texts ordered from Flourish and Blotts would you see if they have arrived? And I would like you to pop in to Madam Malkin's with this order for masks."
"Masks?"
"Yes, dear. Halloween will be here in a mere few weeks, and I see it as our first opportunity to have a real celebration after the war, that has nothing to do with the war. A mark of a return to a normal life, if you like. So I am planning a party to outdo anything Albus ever conceived: games, rides and the like during the afternoon, then the feast, and later in the evening a masked ball for the older students and staff. What do you think?" she asked a little tentatively.
"I think it is a splendid idea, Professor," said Hermione.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Fresh Start
218 Reviews | 6.18/10 Average
I still love this story dearly. Thank you.
Hah. When I came across a word I didn't know, I immediately googled it. Should have known you would have provided a definition.
How good it was to see the lovely curl of knitting showing up as an important piece in this happy, wise and patient story. I agree with all the reviewers,especiallyLulubelle.WhereisLadyEllhornposted?Mycomputerfrazzled is.
I'm rereading this for the umpteenth time. This will always be my favorite chapter. Hermione's farting cauldron melt is THE BEST THING in all of SSHG fanfiction. I love this story.
Response from richardgloucester (Author of A Fresh Start)
Just what I wanted to hear today! Thank you so much!
It's about time Severu got some tender loving care, and as it is comeing from Hermione, so much the better.
Can't wait to see what they buy on thier shopping trip, a Halloween ball sounds like it could be fun. All Neville needed was that little touch of danger, now he will be irresistible.
Is it wrong to be jealous of a mirror?
The lioness has to bait her trap carefully, to catch the serpent. Loving it so far.
I have read this story before and i have to say it was just as delightful as the first reading. I always look forward to reading one of your tales. Thank you!
This was a wonderful story. I really enjoyed it.
Well done!
This was a super-satisfying read! I loved the pacing and the way you tied the earlier parts of the story (like the sweater) into the ending. Thank you for sharing!
This story is a treasure. I know I will be reading this multiple times in the next year.
A very nice arse, indeed.
Loved this little tale!!!
I love that she lauged at her melted cauldron.
A very lucky girl, eh?
I'd like to see him in jeans, too.
Neville... the next Dark Lord (of Herbology).
Has he forgotten that he's off the scale??
I always knew Ron was gay.
I love the idea of the professors lusting after a hot Neville.
A fresh start sounds good.
Loved it. Thank you!
I've been told I've got a bit o' German from my father's side and I've no doubt, now. It's a word of truth, even if others are too hypocritical admit it. Good for Hermione and Severus. Poor George. I can't see how there's anything that will make up for losing Fred. The rest of Hogwarts can eat their hearts out.
Sigh... what a headache. I'm sure you will find a way to bring them together. I hope.
Snape competing with Longbottom for popularity with the girls... very odd. I understand he wants people to like him, but I don't understand that the measure of his success is being increasingly viewed as a sexual object by the girls or women. Women and girls swoon over Lockheart, but no one really likes him! I think the best way to change his image is to have him rescue a kitten from a tree, a puppy from a well and publically take a lover. Presto! Changeo! He's a nice man with feelings. It's normal to want to be found attractive. Once he's saved helpless animals from peril and taken a lover, he can start showing how hot he is. Oh, and have Hermione force Rita Skeeter to write an article sympathetic to Severus' sacrifices and suffering for all those years. It wouldn't hurt his image to find a cure for something sad, either. Inventing a potion that makes fat dumpy witches skinny with large, firm breasts and shiny hair would make him the most popular wizard in the world forever!
If Hermione isn't careful, she is going to have to beat away the rest of the female population at Hogwarts when they see the new Snape. I have a feeling she won't have to compete with them for his attention though. Neville will be relieved, I'm sure. But if he catches Creevy taking pictures of him I am certain he will break his camera. I really hope that happens.