4

Chapter 4

It was early morning before Severus had devised the best course of action. He just needed to talk to her. Nothing more...just talk. He had come to the understanding that if she wanted nothing to do with him that it was best to let her go, but he needed to first give her the choice. That was where he had failed; he had never given her a choice.

He had taken the Hangover Potion shortly after waking, after checking to ensure that it was not laced with any other potions, of course. He was grateful to Albus Dumbledore, although he swore he would never let the ruddy old coot know.

All he needed to do was find some way to get her to talk to him. He was certain after yesterday's confrontation, however, that she would not even consider such a thing. Unless... Unless what?

He needed someone to convince her to talk to him...but whom? He did not want to go to Albus about such a thing, although he was certain the old man would try to help. Unfortunately, Severus knew that since their forced marriage that was arranged by Dumbledore, Hermione did not trust the man as freely as she once had. She certainly turned out to be a better judge of character than I ever gave her credit for, Severus thought with a slight bit of amusement.

He did not dare go to Ron Weasley, not after his encounter with the young man in the bar. He was quite certain that the young man would hex first and ask questions later, not that Severus blamed him.

Miss Weasley? No, she was still his student. She was only visiting with Hermione now because her Head of House was a sap and allowed her to attend the trivial festivities over the weekend.

Potter? Possibly...even though the very idea of having to go to a Potter and ask for help nearly made him ill. However, the Wizarding world's saint was more level headed than Weasley. Severus actually stood a slight chance of still keeping his bollocks if he went to Potter as opposed to his wife's fiancée.

Severus cleaned himself up and refreshed his clothing. He ran his fingers through his lanky hair to get it out of his face and muttered a charm to clean it as well, even though he knew there was little he could do about its greasy appearance. He removed his black traveling robes and his heavy frock coat, leaving a plain white dress shirt and carefully tailored black trousers.

"Much better," came a voice from the direction of the mirror. "I was beginning to think that you had forgotten your coffin."

Severus sneered at his reflection, but he refrained from cursing the furniture. He had more important matters to attend to. He completed his morning ablutions in the bathroom and left to settle the bill with the establishment's proprietor. He still had an errand to run before he returned to number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

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It was nearly nine o'clock in the morning before Severus appeared on the front porch of number twelve. He took several deep breaths to calm himself. He was not going to allow his volatile temperament to cause him problems this morning. He could not allow that.

He rapped firmly on the door and waited. Just as yesterday, he was again greeted by the same disheveled looking youth. This time there was a fierce fire burning behind those green eyes when he noticed who had come calling. "Professor Snape," he greeted sourly. "I'd say it was a pleasure to see you again, but we both know that would be a blatant lie. Please forgive me if I don't invite you in."

Harry attempted to shut the door on his unwelcome visitor only to have the bastard shove his way into the foyer instead. "Didn't you get a clue yesterday, Snape? Hermione wants nothing to do with you, and I'll be damned if I'm going to allow you to speak with her again!"

Severus gritted his teeth and fixed his gaze on the prat in front of him. "I need to speak with her before she marries that Weasley twit."

"What the hell for? So you can make her cry again? So maybe this time you can throw her across the room before you come to your senses?" raged the young man. "I don't think so. Now. Get. Out."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and focused his energies on keeping his temper tightly wrangled in. "I admit I was upset yesterday. I will not hurt her. I just need to speak with her," he said as calmly and as softly as possible.

"Why? So you can tell her that she can't marry anyone? So that you can tell her that she needs to be miserable the rest of her life, just as you are?" Harry ran his hands through his hair, which only helped in messing it up even further.

Just like his father, thought the professor with disgust. He took another deep breath. I must remain calm. "No, Potter. I do not wish for Hermione to be miserable. I just need to make sure that I give her the choice that I did not give her before."

"What choice?" asked the younger wizard suspiciously.

This is what Severus did not want to do. He did not wish to let this ex-student know about the mistakes he had made in his life. It had been painful enough to inwardly admit the feelings that he held for the girl; he did not want to expose himself to Potter that way. Like father, like son. The boy would likely use the knowledge against him. "It was a mistake to come here," he said as he turned back towards the door.

"Wait," said the boy, closing his eyes. "I know I'm going to regret this, but...I'll let you talk to her."

Snape turned back around and narrowed his eyes at him. No matter what the young man said, he did not completely trust him. This seemed like a rather quick turnabout for him.

Harry opened his eyes and said, "Listen, Snape, I just want her to be happy. First of all, she needs to consent to talk with you. Then, I'll let you speak with her if you promise to leave her alone after this so that she can get on with her new life and if I can be in the room so that I can make certain that you don't harm her in any way."

"Agreed," replied Snape. This was his small opportunity. He knew that he would have to tread carefully; the sand was running out of the hourglass. "Now, if you would just fetch Hermione, then we can get this over with.

"She isn't here, Professor. She's at the Burrow."

"What? How am I supposed to speak with her there?" asked Severus as he began to let his anger show.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I will go talk to her. If she consents, then we'll Portkey to wherever it is that you wish to meet her."

"Fine, then." Severus pulled an emerald green silk handkerchief from the pocket of his trousers and whispered, "Portus," whilst tapping it with his wand. He handed the handkerchief to the man and spoke, "The Portkey will activate in thirty minutes. It will take you both to my home in Suffolk."

Harry nodded as Severus Disapparated to his home.

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Severus paced in the quiet den. It had been years since he had been here. The house had been closed up tightly with only one house-elf to tend to the day to day cleaning. Everything looked exactly as it had when he was a child. It was a small home, only two bedrooms, a kitchen, a den, and a lavatory. There was also an unfinished cellar below, although Severus never remembered venturing down there.

He was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Hermione. He had not informed Boy Wonder, but the Portkey would not respond to his touch. Potter would not be intruding. The conversation that he was to have with his wife needed to be private. He only hoped that she would agree to meet with him. The time passed quickly. He called the house-elf for a tea service and biscuits. Maybe he could get her to eat something whilst she was there.

Precisely thirty minutes from leaving Potter's home, Hermione appeared in the center of the room. She stumbled forward slightly, and Severus deftly caught her before she lost her balance. "Thank you," she muttered.

As she gradually got her bearings, she looked around the room. "Where are we? Where's Harry?"

"Mr. Potter shan't be joining us. We are at my home in Suffolk."

"You have a house?" she asked. "How could I be married to you for an entire year and not know that you had house?" Hermione sat herself down on the settee and leant forward to take slow deep breaths.

Severus watched her and realized what was wrong. He poured some tea and attempted to give it to her. "No, I can't have anything. I'll be sick," she said as she tried to push the cup away.

"It's a ginger, jasmine flower, and black tea, Hermione. It will help to settle your stomach." She looked up at him and accepted the proffered cup. She took a deep whiff of the aroma before taking a few tentative sips. Her roiling stomach began to settle quickly. "Thanks."

Severus nodded. He sat down in a chair placed opposite of her. "You asked about my home. This is where I grew up. You did not know of its existence because I did not wish for you to ever be here."

"Then, why, may I ask, am I here now?"

He carefully rolled his upper lip between his thumb and forefinger as he leant back and contemplated his answer. "I have come to realize that not allowing you into my life was a mistake. I would like to rectify that error now, even if it means having to live with Weasley's spawn," he said stiffly whilst pointing and her midsection.

Hermione was shaken by his words and his calm demeanor. Her hand trembled slightly as she placed the teacup on the table in front of her. She was so confused by his words that her thoughts were barely coherent. "What?" she asked. "I don't understand. How did you know about...?"

Severus held up his hand to stop her question. "I was a spy for over twenty years; any berk could recognize the symptoms. What I brought you here to tell you is that I now know that I made a mistake when it came to how I handled things between us." He could not even look at her as he spoke. To show this side of himself was extremely painful; one sour look from her or one scathing remark would cut too deep of a wound for him to be able to recover. Love may be strengthening, but if he were to be rejected after he admitted his love, it would be a crushing blow. "Is the pregnancy the reason that you are marrying Weasley?" he asked.

"Partly, yes, it is." Hermione stood up and turned around to hide the tear that was now streaming down her face. She wiped the tear away and spoke with unwavering confidence. "Pregnant and unmarried witches are not looked upon favorably in the Wizarding world. You know that. Ron is my friend. I know that he will take care of me."

It pained him to hear her talking about Weasley that way. "Do you love him?" he asked. Severus stood and mentally braced himself for her rejection. Silence filled the room. It seemed that neither was even breathing as he waited for her answer and as she pondered the reason behind his question. After several agonizing minutes, she finally broke the silence. "He is one of my best friends; of course I love him. What I need to know, Severus, is why do my feelings for Ron matter to you?" she asked as she took a step towards him.

He crossed his arms around himself in another futile attempt to protect himself. "It matters to me because I need you, Hermione." She took several more tentative steps to close the gap between them as he spoke. He took her closeness as a positive sign and continued. "Without you, I am nothing but the broken and exposed man that is standing before you now. You have crippled my defenses, and I need you now to make me whole. Long ago I developed a defense against life, against my own emotions." He reached his hands out to rest on her arms. "I never let anyone in. Somehow, Hermione, you broke through the wall, filling pieces of yourself in its place. Without you there, there are gaps and holes. I need you!" He had not intended to raise his voice at her again, but the urgency brought about a near panic in him. She had to understand. Severus pulled her closer to him and moved a hand to run through her mass of curls, bringing it back to cup her cheek.

Hermione leaned in to his touch. It was a comforting peace that she had not known before, but it was one that felt so right. She looked into his coal black eyes and saw a passion burning behind them that she had never seen. He pulled her into a tight embrace and spoke into her ear. "It matters not that you carry Weasley's offspring. I want you with me, Hermione."

She allowed him to hold her as the tears welled behind her eyes. He released her and tilted her chin up towards his face. "I want to kiss you," he said.

Hermione nodded her head in acquiescence. He leant down slowly and met her lips. They were soft, warm, and welcoming. Strength began to fill his soul as she opened her mouth slightly to invite him inside. His tongue tasted and explored her, causing him to nearly feel whole again. He let out a soft reluctant moan as she slowly pulled away to break their kiss.

She brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "I need to tell you about the baby, Severus."

He narrowed his eyes, fearful that she was still going to pull away from him. How could she...after he had opened himself to her like he had? He attempted to pull back from her, but she pulled him close with the hand upon his waist.

"It's not Ron's," she said quietly. "I found out I was pregnant the day that the Ministry Owl arrived stating that the law had been rescinded." She leant her forehead into his chest as he stiffened. She was afraid to see the rage that was sure to appear on his face. "I tried to tell you," she added in a whisper.

He relaxed. She had tried to tell him. This was entirely his fault...every bit of it. How can this woman still stand to be in the same room as I after all that I have put her through? "I know you did," he answered. "This is all my doing, not yours."

The admittance shocked her. She brought her head up again. Would he cease in surprising her today?

"Tell me that you will stay with me, Hermione. Tell me that you will complete me, that you will be my wife in both body and spirit."

"I would like nothing more," she answered assuredly.

He leant down and captured her lips once again, but he broke away quickly as he pulled up her left hand. He looked at the small ruby ring that decorated her finger and carefully removed it. "I am sure that Weasley would like this back," he said. Before she could answer, he replaced it with another ring that adjusted itself to fit her finger as soon as it was in place.

Hermione looked at it carefully; she had expected the token ring from their marriage, the one the Professor McGonagall had picked out for her. She was startled to see that it was something different. "You replaced a ruby with an emerald? How fitting," she said with an amused smile. "Where did you get this?"

Severus' lips formed a small smirk. "To answer your first question, my dear, that is not an emerald. It is an alexandrite. The stone changes color depending on the type of lighting. Many say that it is an emerald by day and a ruby by night. To answer your second question, it belonged to my mother. She left it to me when she died, only requesting that I pass it on to my wife."

Hermione's mouth grew into a smile that reached her eyes. This complicated man that she had suddenly found herself in love with just over two months before was surprising her at every turn. "I need to go back and speak with Ron," she said simply.

Severus nodded. He knew that would have to happen. It was unavoidable. "Would you like me to accompany you?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I think it's best if I go alone. Harry will help me." She looked up and saw the worry on the older man's face. "Don't worry. I'll return. Harry knows how I feel about you; that was the only reason he allowed me to come to see you in the first place. He and Ginny both have been concerned that I was not making the right decision. I daresay that he may even be relieved."

A small part of him was afraid that if she left him now he would lose her forever. He wanted nothing more than to hold her there, to keep her tethered to him always. You cannot do that, Severus. Trust her. So, he did. "Give me the handkerchief." She complied by pulling the green silk back out of her pocket where she had stuffed it upon arriving to the Snape home. "Portus," he muttered as he again tapped his wand to the fabric. He kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "I love you," just as the Portkey activated, and she was gone from the room.