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Potions Under Duress An Unexpected Attraction
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An Unexpected Attraction

1: Occlumency

An Unexpected Attraction

treacherous_things

17 Reviews   |   17 Ratings, 0 Likes, 41 Favorites )

Romance Erotica Smut Potions Under Duress 3,411 Words 1 Chapter Complete
Hermione Granger Severus Snape

Hermione gets punished by Snape. Or does she?

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Chapters (1)

Chapter 1: Occlumency


About treacherous_things

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treacherous_things

Member Since 2006  |  1 Story  |  Favorited by 15  |  0 Reviews Written  |  7 Review Responses

I'm an art student studying to be an illustrator.  I have been addicted to HP adult fanfic ever since a friend introduced me to it.  Storywriting is not my forte, but every once in awhile I get a creative streak.  My fav pairings are Remus and almost anyone (but oddly enough, not Sirius), SS/LM, HG/LM, and HG/SS.

Reviews for An Unexpected Attraction

Displaying all 17 Review
10/10

TheHalfBloodQueen99

Heheheh.... That was awesome!

0/10

Jennifer Esther

excellent for a first story

10/10

beaweasley2

Followed this from the SS/HG quiz!


It so pays to be bad in class! Especially with him! Very enjoyable detention, but I like Harry and Ron's comments at the end best.

0/10

Poppy

If this is a first attempt you have a gift and MUST keep writing more.  

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Lol, thank you!  I would like to write more, but I haven't felt too inspired.  I've also been super busy with other things.  Anyway, I'm really an artist, not a writer, so maybe I will draw something :)  Thanks for reading!

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Lol, thank you!  I would like to write more, but I haven't felt too inspired.  I've also been super busy with other things.  Anyway, I'm really an artist, not a writer, so maybe I will draw something :)  Thanks for reading!

8/10

Cosette

I loved this. Thanks so much!

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

No.  Thank you.  :)

Response from Cosette (Reviewer)

I would have enjoyed it more if my sister hadn't called in the middle of it, though! :P

8/10

Arachnae

LOL It's not bad and I liked it even though it was a bit short. Keep up the good work! You'll find your rhythem!

7/10

amsev

This started off very nicely. Perhaps a bit more build-up into the spanking scene?

5/10

maria

It started off incredibly well.....then you threw me off by having him pull out the yard-stick immediately.  No suspense, no arguing on her part to make it look good.  Ok, I decided, let's see where it goes. 

All of a sudden - 'Mudblood'???  No way - Hermione would never stand for that.  And on top of that word, the sex scene completely decended into bad fanfic - like a 13 year old virgin wrote this!  And all of a sudden he becomes POLITE???  

No, just....no.  Sorry, but this was very disappointing considering it started so well. 

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Hmm, well, I can definately see where you are coming from with pulling out the yardstick too fast, but I didn't really have any idea how to draw out that scene any longer.  The Mudblood thing... personally, and I realize that this isn't everyone, but this is a BDSM story, some people do like to be called things during sex that they would never ever allow someone to say to them otherwise.  I think it's a stretch to say that if one was to stay completely canon, Snape would be having sex at all.  I did my best not to make it way too light and fluffy, like a lot of people do, and it makes me want to vomit.  The end part was just for a little humor, I didn't mean that he's supposed to suddenly be 'polite,' just lesser mean than he usually is.  Anyway, this is the first story I've ever written.  No need to be so harsh.

Response from maria (Reviewer)

You're right - I shouldn't be so harsh, and I apologize for that (after all, I'm no writer!) 

Like I said, it started incredibly well, you do write very well - which is why I kept reading until the end. It's just the sex scenes need more work.  Perhaps a beta if you didn't have one? 

You know (and this is just me, personally), when I read HGSS ses scenes I imagine Snape having 'movie Snape's' voice - that slow, mesmerizing drawl that Alan Rickman has. I think that's how a drawn-out BDSM scene should be - slow, with lots of anticipation (after all, the anticipation of the punishment is the delicious part!)

Anyway, please keep writing! 

0/10

JA Lowell

Your final lines got a sadistic chuckle out of me.  Good ol' clueless Harry and Ron. 

9/10

Maddie

I never would have know it was your first time. I got a kick out of your story.

8/10

snapedreamer

well i think we know why he is so happy.

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Thanks for the review.  Glad you liked it :)

10/10

sinbad

Well, I'd say you are doing a great job since I want a cold shower.  That's just my humbel opinian....

0/10

teshara

that was hot

10/10

pearl city princess

Excellent work for a first timer.  I hope you enjoyed writing this enough to keep it up, I really enjoyed your work.

0/10

MollysSister

Very hot!!!

10/10

suntanmidori

Excellent job in writing this.  Good detail and good plot, a very enjoyable story all around.  Perhaps more stories telling of the rest of the week?

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Thanks for the review!  Yeah, I was planning on continuing it at some point.  I've just been pretty busy, and also I've just got to kinda let it come to me.  I'm glad you liked it.

Response from treacherous_things (Author of An Unexpected Attraction)

Thanks for the review!  Yeah, I was planning on continuing it at some point.  I've just been pretty busy, and also I've just got to kinda let it come to me.  I'm glad you liked it.

10/10

suntanmidori

Excellent job in writing this.  Good detail and good plot, a very enjoyable story all around.  Perhaps more stories telling of the rest of the week?

Displaying all 17 Review

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