Chapter four

~)*(~

"Let's focus on the more... trivial aspects of your new job," continued the voice, taking long pauses between sips of Firewhisky that made Remus envious. "Tell me about what an average day looked like."

"I can tell you right away that it's not like the things one reads in books or sees in Muggle theatres. It has nothing to do with it."

"No kinky red stilettos, mini-robes and fishnet stockings?" mocked the voice. "I was doubtful; now I am disenchanted."

"No matter how much I regret to have to contradict one of your most cherished fantasies, I never wore such things... on the street," completed Remus, stopping yet another blow in midair.

"Rest assured that this image will stay in my mind forever, then," said the voice with irony. "Keep going; I'd hate to interrupt you."

"Some people are there because they are in love with money. Literally. More, more, more; it's all they think about, mostly the younger crowd. One does make money pretty easily after a while; it's all the life around it that's hell for so many of them. Some pimps take people's papers when they 'hire' them so they can't escape. Others will take incriminating pictures and threaten to show them to their families should they betray them."

"That is completely illogical," commented the voice, which drew surprise on Remus' features. "They don't mind doing an illegal job, but they wouldn't risk being caught in another city or country without their papers. They bear the shame of letting complete strangers use them as they please but would not tolerate their relatives knowing about it. This is absurd!"

"It is absurd..." replied Remus contemplatively. "But so many things are absurd in that way of life; I guess you stop noticing after a while. It's not the darkest side of it, you know. I've seen people of all ages get beaten raw if they didn't bring back enough money. Facial destructions, genital mutilations... and not just Greyback's 'staff'. I've seen it all and it crushed me each time. I never got used to it. They were completely trapped there."

"They? Weren't you trapped as well?"

"Of course I was," answered Remus bitterly. "Like the others. But I eventually broke free."

"You became your own boss? How gratifying..."

"After a couple of years, I had enough regulars to keep me busy and fed; I was sick and tired of having to share with Greyback. So I went to his flat and challenged him. He didn't let me go easily, but he eventually did."

"The casualties?"

"Him, I don't know, but he was unconscious when I left. I had two broken ribs, several bites, three broken fingers and a black eye. I had to take a whole week off."

"I conclude you fought like beasts rather than men," said the voice with contempt. "I didn't expect much more."

"You're wrong," retorted Remus with obvious pleasure. "I got those injuries because I knew how to use my wand. I blocked all his hexes."

"From what I know of Greyback, he's not a great dueller anyway."

"His latest protégé's fists, however..." continued Remus, imperturbable, "I never saw them coming. It could have been worse, though."

"It could have been a Death Eater."

"It was about a year after the end of Sirius' trial, or rather, its absence. I had chosen my moment carefully; I was not a fool. By then, most of them were either on the run, six feet under, in Azkaban or wrapped tight in their politically correct identity. Greyback was not as threatening as he was during the war. I had my chance, I seized it. But you already know most of this. What do you want to know now?"

"Look how tame you've become, finally," commented the voice with delight. "We were talking about your routine, before you drifted away once more. You have made it sound quite... business-like, so far. Still, things must have been more complicated than that. Have clients ever fell in love with you, for example?"

"Some, yes. Mostly women. From my personal experience, most of the men were there for the sex. The conversations were rather limited. How much? Where? And it was settled. If they wanted friends or confidants, they would have gone to their wives, their mates, their partners... or a female sex worker, if they were really desperate."

"What about you? Were you foolish enough to have feelings for one of your regulars?"

"Are you kidding me?" scoffed Remus with bitter amusement. "I was very lonely after my friends' death and craved for at least one meaningful relationship that could bring me comfort, but I had absolutely no option. Even if someone miraculously accepted my... condition, I could not have a partner knowing that he or she would never accept my lifestyle."

"Who would blame them..."

"...and lying about it was not an alternative. If you went to Knockturn Alley, grabbed one of them by the sleeve and asked them what their ideal life would be, they'd all say a normal job, a normal life. Marry, have kids... I had pretty much given up hope on all that at the time."

"There, there," said the voice, as comforting as a knife against his throat. "No need to be so melodramatic. Let's change the subject. Once you looked more presentable, what did you do with your new independence? Were there still clients?"

"More than I could manage, sometimes."

"How did you attract them?"

"I was good because I could rely on smell," explained Remus with a very irritating smirk. "I just knew when they found me attractive or not. I knew what kind of sex they craved for even before they chose to open their mouths and tell me... or not. It's a gift I soon learned how to develop and master."

"Like a bloody beast..."

"You can twist my words as you want, but it doesn't change my skill... and it doesn't change the fact I can smell that you want me right now."

"That's not what we're talking about!" snapped the voice angrily.

"I just thought I'd mention it, you know... get it out of the way."

"Rubbish!"

"Oh yeah? You think I don't see how your pupils dilate when you look at my crotch? My mouth? You think I don't smell the change in your blood right now? In its flow? Your blood is racing, my dear--"

"Shut up!" barked the voice, trying to obtain obedience with a blow to the side of Remus' face.

"I won't shut up, no matter how much I'd like to! You've made sure of that!"

"I sure did," hissed the voice venomously. "And I will make sure your humiliation is complete. You will keep disclosing all those nasty little details about your life until I am completely satisfied. So unless you want to kiss the floor again, werewolf, or make me hex your chair upside down for the next hour, I suggest you resume your tale."

"Very well," said Remus, his eyes still smiling even if his mouth did not. "After I broke free from Greyback, my reputation was established quickly. A couple of months later, I didn't need to hang around in the streets anymore; all my free time was booked by owl. Even then, from time to time, I was stopped in the street and a man would ask for my services."

"I guess those shags were less sophisticated than the ones you gave your nobler clients."

"Don't think that... it was quite the contrary." Remus' eyes were sparkling now.

"Tell me about the one that was memorable for you," asked the voice, curiosity alleviating its aggressiveness for a while. "I want to know everything that happened."

"Memorable... many encounters were memorable, in their own way," said Remus, his glance drifting to the side as he searched his memory. "I have entertained some celebrities, and I've had some really crazy requests, but I don't think that's what you want to hear about. Let's see... oh, of course! I know.

"It was during the fall, in nineteen ninety-one. I was in a pub near my flat and I wanted to be left alone. I had recently accompanied one of my clients on a business trip; a full week, all expenses covered plus two thousands Galleons. An occasion that would allow me to live comfortably for a long while. The only thing that client had not mentioned was that we would share the room with three of his friends, one night."

"You could have Apparated your way out of there..."

"Try Apparating without a wand," replied Remus with a sad smile. "I should have suspected something, though; it was too well paid. Maybe my years of experience had made me a little careless. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say people can go really far when they know you can't report them. I was still pretty shaken, two days after coming back from that trip, and I needed some time to regroup. I was sulking in front of a pint of beer, and suddenly, just as I was telling myself that it was great to think about something else for a change, I started having flashbacks about that night. I wanted to stop them, but the flashbacks played scene after scene, just like the way they had been happening since my return. I was sweating and feeling nauseous and I wanted to leave. Just as I was about to do so, however, I saw a man sitting next to me."

"Who was it?"

"Thomas, one of my regulars. We usually met at my flat, but I had practically fled from it without realizing that we had an appointment.

"'Did you follow me here?' I asked, quite annoyed to see him there.

"'No', he said, with the warm and raucous voice I knew well. 'I Apparated to your flat and saw you weren't there. I made a lucky guess.'

'"Look, Thomas, I will not be able to accommodate you tonight. Sorry.'

'"Someone else booked you for tonight?'

'"I'm in no shape to book anybody for the moment,' I replied, turning toward him so he could see the bruises and cuts on the other side of my face. They looked even worse a couple of days later. 'I really should have owled you to cancel; my apologies.'

"He said nothing. He just sipped his drink and kept his eyes on the bar, as if he was weighing his choices.

'"I'll pay you double,' he declared, looking at the bottom of his glass to avoid my eyes. Once again, I declined regretfully and told him he would waste his money. This time, he looked me right in the eye when he spoke.

'"I... look. This is a shitty time for me, too. Believe me. I deserve a break.'

'"I will be delighted to see you next weekend, but tonight is impossible, I regret. I could owl John if you want; he might be able to make room in his schedule for you, even tonight. As for our appointment, we can postpone it until next week.'

'"I don't give a rat's arse about John!' he insisted, gruffly this time. 'I came here to get something and I want nothing else. Any flying teacher will tell you that the best way to recover from a bad fall is to just hop back on your broom and give a good kick off the ground.'

"I tried to protest again, pretending that his remark wasn't right on spot, but he wouldn't hear any of it. When he got up, I thought he would leave and I was relieved. I didn't even care if it meant crossing him off my list. But he didn't leave. He took a step closer and told me, 'There will be no next week for anybody if you keep hiding. Give it a try. A genuine one. You won't regret it."'

"That Thomas saw right through you, it seems. Didn't it make you cautious?"

"There really was nothing extraordinary about his deductive capacities," replied Remus matter-of-factly. "I had shown him the injuries on my face; it was easy to put two and two together. Since I must be honest, it annoyed rather than actually impressing me."

"It has little interest to me anyway," said the voice. "Get to the point."

"Fine. I agreed to let him come to my flat. We had sex for about an hour and it was unforgettable. There."

"Elaborate, you stupid idiot!"

"As soon as we passed my flat's doorstep," continued Remus with an satisfied smile, "he took out his wallet and put eighty Galleons on the table in the dining room. He was not kidding when he offered to pay me double.

"'Am I in trouble?' I asked, forcing myself to be agreeable. 'What are you buying, exactly, with that much money?'

"'Nothing fancy; I told you already,' he said, suddenly looking very tired. 'As long as you keep my mind off work, I couldn't ask for anything sweeter.'"

"What did Thomas do for a living?" asked the voice.

"He said he worked at the Ministry. I never needed to know more and he didn't volunteer the information. His face was familiar the first time I saw him, though. We looked the same age; I wouldn't be surprised to learn that we both studied at Hogwarts around the same time."

"Very well. Continue."

"He asked for us to go into my bedroom and I was relieved; it was more comfortable than the couch. He sat on my bed and he unbuttoned his robes, his eyes riveted to the floor."

"A shy man, I presume?"

"Not at all. I can't say that I knew him very well, but he was generally very composed at the beginning of our encounters. Though it tended to change later on," he commented, his eyes twinkling. "That night, I'd rather say he was absent, that his mind kept going back to a place that seemed very gloomy. He looked genuinely lonely that night, and it was quite touching."

"Spare me your amateur psychoanalysis and get to the point, for crying out loud!" said the voice with annoyance.

Remus, even though he had started to enjoy using his captor's weaknesses to his advantage, suddenly no longer felt like complying. He was tired. He was thirsty. There wasn't a single muscle in his body that did not hurt from his forced stillness. He wanted to ask what he was doing there and what was the meaning of the weird turns that the interview was taking, but he knew he would not get any answers unless he figured it out himself or waited patiently until his captor was satisfied. All things considered, it was better to swallow his pride and discomfort, comply the best he could, and see what disclosing private information would grant him. Freedom, perhaps. It was worth a try.

"I didn't let him do the job all by himself," continued Remus in his normal tone, no longer teasing. "I kneeled in front of him and helped him take off his boots, socks, and then his underpants. I could smell right away that he had showered before he came, a gesture I appreciated particularly that night."

"You mean more than his eighty Galleons?"

"I really could not say," huffed Remus with a tired smile. "But it sure made the eighty Galleons easier to earn. With Thomas, unless he was in a hurry, it was more or less the same thing each time. He would ask me to give him a blowjob, and then he would ask me...more or less nicely...to get on all fours... I'll let you decide the rest."

"So there was an established routine between the two of you."

"Exactly. I'd say it was more comfortable than boring. He treated me well enough, so I'd let him become a regular. So that night, thinking we would just replay our well-known little act, I started caressing the inside of his thighs, spreading them open, and took his penis into my mouth."

"You almost speak of 'it' with deference," observed the voice, half-curious, half-sarcastic. "Had nature particularly favoured him?"

"He was rather average-sized," replied Remus. "Not big enough to make me worry, not too small either. And I liked the fact that he kept his pubic hair trimmed, but not shaved. It preserved a very manly look without having me coughing up hairballs for hours after he left."

"Tell me more about how you sucked him," asked the voice, apparently unaffected by Remus' attempt at being humorous.

"Thomas did not like being teased, I remember that very well. I guess I made no detour and took him all into my mouth, bollocks included."

"You like feeling a bloke get hard inside your mouth, werewolf?"

"Yes, I love it. I love the feeling of a prick coming to life against my tongue, getting bigger, longer, harder as I suck until I almost choke on it. But it's not what happened that night."

"Oh?"

"It gave a few promising throbs at the beginning, but even after ten good minutes it was as dead and inert as when I had begun my administrations."

"Was it the first time that happened?" asked the voice, forgetting to mock Remus' incompetence.

"With Thomas, yes, definitely. I had faced that situation countless times before. Some clients were too nervous, too uncomfortable, too busy trying to perform or they were just not totally at peace with their sexual preferences. I always did whatever I could to preserve the bloke's dignity when it happened. Some of my clients tended to get quite violent if they were humiliated; others just never came back, which was equally bad."

"So what did you do?"

"I continued sucking, adding some moans here and there, faking interest the best I could and hoping it would stimulate him better. Nothing worked. And just as I was about to ask him if there was anything else I could do to please him, he put his fingertips on each side of my jaw and disengaged himself from my mouth.

"'You never ask me anything,' he remarked out of the blue, looking me in the eye. 'Why?'

"'I figure it's because you pay me to put your needs first and mine second,' I replied honestly.

'"You're wrong. That's never what I wanted. In fact, I hate our arrangement, the way it has always been.'

'"Well... what can I do to make things more agreeable for you?' I asked, and I thought, 'Why do you keep coming back if I am that bad?'"

"I see you can't appreciate the value of constructive criticism," commented the voice mordantly. "So, what did he want from you?"

"Gesturing at the bed with his chin, he asked me to stop kneeling in front of him and to get up. Still surprised by that turn of events, I sat on the bed next to him. He proceeded to take my robes off, and he never stopped scrutinizing my face while he did, to the point that it made me a little uncomfortable. It was as if he expected me to call the whole thing off the second he did something wrong.

'"Things would be more agreeable for me if you really enjoyed yourself tonight, for a change.'

'"Faking it would be difficult,' I chuckled, trying to hide that his insinuation petrified me. 'I've never faked an orgasm with you, Thomas. You're a good lover.'"

"Was he?" asked the voice.

"I was being sincere! Of course I had made some of my orgasms a little more dramatic than I really felt them. But try having three or four clients in a row and see if you're as genuinely enthusiastic at the end of the evening."

"Did you convince him?"

"No; he was annoyingly talkative that night, and perspicacious as well. He said, 'I'm not stupid; I know the difference between enjoying yourself and getting the job done. You've faked a couple of times in two years. Don't try to deny it.'

"Thomas' resigned tone suggested he understood that my reasons had nothing to do with him personally. 'But if I'm the lover you say I am, then... just... you know. You can ask me things, too, if you want.'

"'I can do that, sure,' I replied right away, eager to get things going again so that unexpected chat would end. And then my mind went blank. There we were, both completely naked, sitting on my bed, and he just wouldn't stop staring at me. He was obviously waiting for me to ask him to do something, but I just didn't know what to say. I didn't know where to begin, and at the same time, I had absolutely no idea what I really wanted from him. I was completely unsettled."

"Surely you had been asked to play the alpha male in some S&M role play before."

"Of course, but you said it, I was asked to play a role, and I was fine with giving orders. Some of my regulars also behaved in a way that made it clear they wanted to become my lovers, but again, they were still only falling for who they thought I was. Namely, the closest thing to their fantasy I could act out. Thomas... that night, in the way he stared at me, in his voice... he looked like he was taking a risk. He did not assume that he knew me like the others did. He was talking to Remus, even if he did not know he was."

"Did you like it?"

"Not at first. I had no intention to let him come that close; I was not ready. People who wanted Remus to make love to them... didn't pay him for it."

"The remark insulted you..."

"Caught me off-guard," Remus corrected. "At the same time, there was this other part of me that needed exactly what he was asking. I didn't feel like working that night; I rather felt like enjoying myself, and he was handing me that possibility on a silver platter. I think it finally worked its way through my brain when he started caressing me... in a way that felt like he was giving, and not taking, this time."

"What happened next?"

"I hinted that one of my weak spots was my ears," replied Remus with a fond smile. "He didn't waste a second and started nibbling on my earlobe.... Let me tell you, that got the first genuine moans out of me in no time.

"My hands landed on his chest in a more natural way, and I started to relax. His skin was soft, and I loved the thin dark hair that covered his pectorals and formed a little trail that started just below his abs. It was a path I knew well, and when my right hand followed it once again, it bumped against a very promising erection. I wrapped my fingers around it and pulled down. Just above my fingers, his foreskin parted and let his glans through. I felt his blood coursing through his member, making it even harder, and I heard him grunt a long moan in my ear."

"Were you aroused at that point?" asked the voice softly, entranced by Remus' tale.

"Oh, yes, very. His smell was changing; he was getting increasingly tense sexually, and I could not help but respond to that. I started stroking him slowly, lubricating him with his own arousal while I buried my nose in his hair. He seized me with a strong and slightly sweaty hand, and he practically devoured my neck with his lips and his teeth. He was sending shivers all over my back and I was soon as stiff as he was. Before we knew it, as if we had made a tacit agreement, he lay on his back and I climbed on top of him. His hardness was already buried deep into my mouth when his lips parted to suck mine in, but that did not stop me. I groaned my pleasure all over it."

"So you were enjoying the... reciprocity?"

"It was as if he washed away all the unpleasant memories of my last contract with each stroke of his mouth. Merlin... he was good! Then he started suckling my bollocks, hard.... I liked it so much I thought my knees would give in. My legs were shaking; I was pumping him madly. He almost got me there; had he not stopped at some point, I think I would have come all over his face. Shamelessly."

Remus' captor listened greedily, fascination rendering the voice speechless all of a sudden.

"But as I said, he did not let me," continued Remus. "He panted, 'Turn around.' I thought he wanted me to sit on him, so I grabbed my wand on the night table and prepared to cast a Lubricating Charm on myself. When I twisted around to get a better aim, what I saw halted my wand in midair. His legs were parted and his knees bent toward his chest, offering me both his arousal and his entrance. 'You might want to aim your wand right here,' he said in a voice that he wanted to sound self-assured."

"It was not?" asked the voice in a slightly startled tone.

"I had perceived some inflexions that sounded like doubt," Remus explained. "I became sure after I cast the charm and kneeled between his legs. He was nervous, I could smell it; he was even holding his breath when I pulled on his hips to make him come closer. Don't get me wrong; he really wanted what he had asked for, but he was not used to getting it. Or maybe he was just unsure as to whether he wanted to let me do it. Either way, that warned me against rushing things. I put my hands on his knees and lowered them until his feet rested on the bed, making him more comfortable. Then I took both our members in my hand and started moving slowly. I immediately felt him become more comfortable and his hardness practically sprang back to life against mine.

"His head sank into the pillows and he closed his eyes. He looked like he was abandoning himself to my touch and it just drew me to him. I bent forward and put my open mouth on his stomach. His hands landed on my shoulders, massaging them the best they could given that his attention was trapped elsewhere. I slowly worked my way up his chest, enjoying the taste of his skin on my lips, on my tongue. When I finally found one of his nipples, already fully erect, he bucked his hips upward and arched his back, hissing in delight and increasing the wonderful friction of our two pricks. The feeling was heavenly."

Remus paused. He had closed his eyes without even noticing, and he revelled in those intimate images for a long moment. The voice, curiously, did not interrupt. Remus never knew what his captor was doing, or thinking, during those few minutes.

"Before I knew it, I was kissing him avidly. I had lain over him completely, his arms keeping me in a feverish embrace and refusing to let go of me. His hands were roaming my hair, my back, my arse.... There was no doubt left in my mind. I had to possess him.

"'I want to shag you, now,' I said. He responded by sliding a very naughty tongue deep into my mouth, and I felt his legs glide up my sides. I sat back on my heels and parted my knees; he did not stop breathing that time. His eyes were scrutinizing my face again, but with eagerness and I knew that he trusted me. When I pressed the tip of my member against his entrance, the only resistance I felt was caused by his being unaccustomed to that kind of attention. I grabbed his legs and had him rest his ankles on my shoulders. Slowly, little by little, I pushed my way in, back and forth. Never forced it. It was amazing to feel his muscles relax and let me in, until his mouth opened and let out a long sigh of satisfaction. My prick was buried to the hilt.

"I stayed there at the beginning, and started by massaging his testicles. No matter how much I craved to make him startle and have those muscles grip my prick tight, I fought that urge. His eyes were closed; either he was miles away from my bedroom, playing and replaying some fantasy in his mind, or he was just letting the sensations sink in, savouring them. His eyelids snapped open the moment I grabbed his prick and took mine out; he groaned loudly when I pushed my way back in, more assertively this time. There was the tight grip I was looking for! I intended to make sure I would keep him with me for the whole ride."

"And how was the ride?" asked the voice with barely concealed interest.

"Very wild at first. Once he was fully accustomed to me, I pumped him without holding back. At some point, I even grabbed his ankles and pulled up, lifting his hips so I could have him at my mercy. He caressed himself and welcomed each of my thrusts with a grunt, letting me do as I pleased. After a while, however, we calmed down. I was a bit exhausted and I lay back over him, his legs still on my shoulder so I would stay inside. We were both sweaty and hot, but the feel of his embrace, his kisses, was a pure bliss. It was powerful, virile and intense... it crashed all over me like a giant wave. And I let it carry me away.

"After that, he had me roll on my side and lay on my back. He took me back in easily and started moving up and down, stroking himself hard and fast. I knew I wouldn't last long in this position, and he seemed determined to have me come before him. So I grabbed his firm arse and let him ride me till I climaxed, my shaft buried deep inside him and my nails digging in his skin. A minute later, his sperm was coming in hot splashes all over my chest. It was amazing."

"And then?" prompted the voice after Remus took another contemplative pause.

"He went to the loo to wash himself a little bit while I cleaned myself with my wand. He had taken all his clothes with him but, to my surprise, he was still naked when he came back into the bedroom. He sat next to me on the bed and asked, 'Mind if I cool the room a little bit?' I nodded and, a couple of waves of his wand later, the room was pleasantly chilly. Even at the very end of September, the weather was very hot and humid that year. We went under the covers and he pulled me toward him, kissing me again. I think he felt like me.... What had just happened was too good to let it end so quickly. We wanted to make it last for as long as we could.

"I don't quite know how it happened, but we were both fast asleep about half an hour later. The last thing I remember is him letting me scoot behind him and put my arm around his chest to hold him close to me."

"You never let your clients sleep at your place?"

"Rarely; I usually needed some privacy and alone time after I was with a client. I was okay with them using my bedroom and my loo, but seeing them in my kitchen in the morning would have been too... intimate for me."

"What made Thomas so different?"

"I don't know... I think we gave each other exactly what we needed that night, and the feeling of fulfilment it gave us made me let him get closer than the others. It just felt so natural, then!"

"And not when you look back?"

"Ah, but you see, Thomas never stayed for breakfast with me. He woke up before me, and I vaguely remember him stepping out of the bed and coming back. I was still emerging from a very deep and dreamless sleep when he started caressing me, his member already hard against my lower back. I ended up screaming and biting into my pillow with Thomas doing the same on my right shoulder, his weight all over my back, pushing me into the mattress and his hips grinding against my arse. When I emerged from the shower, some time later, he was dressed and ready to leave. He fumbled his pockets to find his wallet, but I stopped him with a long kiss and he got the message. 'Thank you,' he whispered, and then he left. Just like that."

"You wanted him to become your lover?" asked the voice.

"There was definitely potential for a more... normal relationship, but it was the last time I saw him. Either I scared him away with that kiss, or what it suggested... or he scared himself, I'll never know. I waited for owls that never came, and eventually, my usual routine occupied my body and thoughts enough so I wouldn't think about him so often."

Remus became silent once more. His thoughts were much more sombre than his words suggested. In fact, he was grateful that his captor did not seem inclined to question him further, because Remus might have been forced to elaborate on subjects he had avoided at all costs since that night. Like the way he had kept the pillow cover on which Thomas had slept, put it on his spare pillow every night... and held it tight against his chest before he drifted to sleep. Like the comfort he felt when he painfully crawled into bed the morning after a full moon and buried his nose in it, because it reminded him how it felt to be human... a feeling one. Like the bitter tears he had shed when, realizing that Thomas would never be on his agenda again--professional or personal--he had exterminated the remains of his smell from the fabric, cursing the solitary nature of his life... whether it be professional or personal. Even then he was a little surprised at his reaction. It was unexplainably intense, given that it took its origin in barely a few hours of bliss. Thomas had just been a client, after all... and had obviously chosen to remain one.

"From the current state of your robes, however, I deduce that the success you had deserted you somehow," commented the voice, snatching Remus' thoughts from a very dark place within him.

"By choice, only by choice," replied Remus with assurance, knowing where his interlocutor was trying to go. "One day, I just stopped returning owls."

"How long ago was that?"

"About two years... not long after my night with Thomas. One of my former regulars owled me from London and offered me to work in her new restaurant. I missed London, so I accepted. The offer was genuine and I started working the following week. She even let me move in with her."

"And how did you pay your share of the rent?" asked the voice.

"By working for her, just like I told you. I began as a dishwasher and eventually became a server. It was great to have my evenings off from time to time."

"But it didn't last."

"It lasted for almost a year," said Remus. "But then, she met that bloke, Paul... he didn't mind me at first, but when he moved in with her, that was another story. He made her choose between him and me... guess what?"

"Lost the roof and the job."

"The old story. I could live from my savings and a few odd jobs I got here and there, but it was not much. And with thirteen full moons a year..."

"You could have resumed your former lifestyle," commented the voice.

"I..." Remus let out a long sigh and his head fell back for a moment, his eyes lost in some distant place. "Let's say that I would really have to be in trouble before I do that."

"Am I to understand," purred the voice caressingly, "that you are trying to maintain a more respectable image? To stay on the right path?"

"That's a way to see it, yes. And I must say, your job offer for the Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching position could not have come at a better time."

Author's notes

As always, special thanks to the irreplaceable Vaughn, who is the beta for all my fanfics. Thanks for reading; comments are always appreciated, for they make me progress as a writer!