Chapter Two

"November 1979... who got married in '79?" murmured the voice contemplatively.

"Well, obviously it could not get as much attention as the one that took place in January the same year, as I'm sure you'll agree," said Remus with a knowing smile.

"Of course."

"The soirée was organized for Penelope White, who was about to become Mrs Evan Rosier."

"Is that so? And what had they in store for you?" asked the voice in a very interested tone.

"The bridal shower took place at the house of Sylvia Finnegan, the witch who hired me. It was in Yorkshire, a really lovely place. The party was to be pretty fancy in appearance, so I was officially hired as a barwizard."

"Good barwizards are awfully hard to find," commented the voice haughtily. "Most of them make drinks that taste like camel piss, if you ask me."

"I had a little experience," intervened Remus, interrupting what looked like the beginning of a long series of frustrated remembrances. "Really, all it takes is the proper instructions; no need to be a potions expert. So I showed up there at six o'clock and made sure the ladies present never lacked hors d'oeuvres or champagne. There were about twenty witches there, if I remember well. A little before seven o'clock, just before dinner was served, the last two guests showed up. You'll never guess who they were..."

"Oh, but I know. Cissy and Bella," said the voice with a trace of bitterness.

"Exactly. Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange.... Under other circumstances, I would have expected to see them at such a fancy party, but having more or less figured out what would be asked of me later on in the evening, I was a little surprised."

"Had you been exposed to... nobler surroundings and society, werewolf, you would not have been surprised at all. Continue."

"There is not much to say about the dinner. All the guests retired to the dining room, and I was left alone in the living room. I did some cleaning, and then I simply enjoyed one of the books that I found there."

"Skip the uninteresting details, Lupin," urged the voice.

"It's difficult to know what details you want to hear about," retorted Remus, shifting on his chair. "I still don't know what we're doing here."

"Let me help you. I suppose they came back from the dining room in a festive mood, maybe a tad tipsy from all the wine that had been served – and consumed – during the meal. The future bride unwrapped her gifts while you made sure everybody had another drink. Narcissa probably stayed true to herself and drank champagne, while Bellatrix was a bit bolder... a Dragon's Breath, maybe?"

"It was long ago... I don't remember. But you're probably right."

"So the bride-to-be was showered with lingerie, sex toys and books, and cute little beauty items, each of them more useless than the next. Then came the moment when the house-elves were told to retire for the night. What happened?"

"Merlin!" chuckled Remus. "You speak as if you had been there, too. Are you sure you were not hiding somewhere? Unless you were told the whole story by--"

"Don't be ridiculous," retorted the voice. "Clearly, I am blessed with a superior sense of deduction. Pick up from where I stopped."

"All right. As you said, the gifts were opened and the house-elves cleaned everything and left. The hostess stood up and addressed the group. 'We have one more gift for you, Penelope, one that couldn't be wrapped... but one you can certainly unwrap!' she began, eliciting giggles in the whole room. 'This is David, and in addition to his bartending talents, he--'"

"Wait a minute... David?" asked the voice, genuinely puzzled.

"Yes... that particular night, it was David. Why, you don't think I used my real name, did you?"

"Obviously not," snapped the voice sourly.

"So Mrs Finnegan told the group that, in addition to my bartending talents, I was also a stripper, to which everybody applauded, of course. Women... they complain at the way men comment on them at times, at the obscene manner in which men stare at them on the street. You should have seen their faces! They were all eager to see me naked, imagining me naked... the hunger in their eyes and the dirty comments they whispered to each other, unaware that I could hear everything! Believe me, they are no better than any given man."

"Especially when they regroup in a flock," commented the voice with amused irony.

"Exactly," agreed Remus. "So my employer for the night waited a few seconds until everybody calmed down.

"'You know I am not a cheap witch,' she began, a strange smile on her lips. 'I made sure I did not hire some Muggle filth, like someone hired at another party we had last year.'

"Apparently," commented Remus, "the hostess of that particular party was not present because everybody just laughed and cheered.

"'David here is a wizard, and he is, I am told, very good at Transfiguration. Penelope darling, you can choose any wrapping for your gift!'

"Penelope was a sweet witch, really," said Remus with a fond smile. "She blushed furiously when I knelt in front of her and asked her what kind of outfit she wished for. I think the poor girl had never been exposed to that kind of show before because she had absolutely no idea what to say. She was obviously not comfortable with telling her fantasies to a total stranger, let alone saying it in front of her snobbish friends. Guess who came to the rescue?"

"Bellatrix, no doubt," said the voice assuredly. "Narcissa is far too introverted in these situations to speak up... and she knows it would not be in her best interest to make suggestions like that in public. People could use it against her later on."

"Are you sure you weren't hiding in her purse?" teased Remus, but a very threatening glare made him understand that he was walking on thin ice. "Yes, Bellatrix is the one who intervened.

"'Why don't you dress up as an Auror, David?' she said, grabbing my rear without any sense of decorum. 'Wouldn't you like it, ladies?'

"The others approved with loud whoops, and I got to my feet, which rid me of Bellatrix's grip. She had been involved in enough underground fights with Order members for me to know that she was a Death Eater, along with her husband Rodolphus. Knowing this, her choice was particularly amusing."

"She likes flirting with danger, no doubt," commented the voice. "Look where she ended up..."

"Indeed. So I verified with Mrs Finnegan that a music selection had been prepared, and I left for the adjacent room. I Transfigured my clothes the best I could, and the final result was very convincing, I must admit."

"The facts, Lupin," growled the voice softly. "Not self-flattering babbling."

"I heard music in the other room barely one minute after I had left; the ladies were getting impatient," Remus continued with a smile. "So just before I dressed, I double-checked that all my scars were Concealed properly."

"Were you nervous or did your arrogance keep you from such a futile disposition?"

"I was nervous as hell," Remus confessed, his reddening cheeks betraying his embarrassment. "It was the first time in my life I was asked to strip, and I had not the faintest idea how to proceed."

"I would imagine it's self-explanatory, on the contrary," commented the voice condescendingly.

"It's not that simple. Women have high expectations when it comes to male strippers, you know. Taking your robes off and wiggling your arse under their noses won't do; they want a good show. I was not used to being in the limelight, and the whole situation gave me performance anxiety. Nevertheless, like in everything I do, I took some time to prepare. I went to a few stripping clubs the week before and took what you could call "informal lessons". It was extremely useful.

"By the time I was ready to come back into the living room, they were chanting. Most of the witches present came from noble families, but the whistles and howls that welcomed my entrance made me forget that detail instantly. Mrs Finnegan turned the music up with a flick of her wand and strangely, it gave me more confidence, even if the sound was a bit too loud for me.

"I started dancing. It was so odd, dancing with all those pairs of eyes staring at me, but at least they were all smiling. I fussed around for a while, took each of them in turn by the hand and made them dance with me a little. It bought me time and it made them anticipate what was to come a little more. That is, until Bellatrix started screaming, 'Take something off, David! We want to see some skin!' Which, of course, the others seconded loudly.

"So I took my cloak off and threw it to the group, but they were already eager to see my robes follow. Nevertheless, I felt almost unable to do so. I started worrying that my scars would betray me or, at least, disgust some of them."

"A very legitimate concern," commented the voice cruelly.

"I disagree," said the werewolf with dignity. "The people who saw my scars in intimate situations never expressed disgust. Fear, pity... I received those and didn't like them, but disgust, never. It was completely irrational of me to worry the way I did, but I could not help it."

"What did you do, then?" asked the voice, betraying its possessor's fascination with Remus' tale.

"I needed a drink, but I didn't want to show it too much. I had to think fast... so I Summoned a shooter glass from the bar, kneeled in front of the future bride and gave it to her. 'What do you say we make magic happen, Penelope?' I offered. 'Let's play a little game... I want you to Transfigure this glass so it takes the length you think I have....' The other witches started whistling again and Bellatrix's hand found her way right back to my rear, but I didn't move away this time.

"'You're in for quite a drink, by the feel of it,' exclaimed Bellatrix, grabbing my privates shamelessly while the others burst out laughing. Penelope took her wand out and Transfigured the glass to a series of impossible shapes, much to the others' amusement, until she settled for something more reasonable. I took the glass from her and went to the bar, getting rid of Bellatrix's insistent – but agreeable nonetheless – groping. I prepared us a strong cocktail and filled the glass to the rim.

"When I came back to her, she had already gotten to her feet, having understood what I was getting at. I motioned her to come next to me, which she was only too happy to do, and I slid the glass into my mouth, kneeling down again. She took the other extremity and swallowed half of the drink, her hands cautiously pressed against my chest. The intake of alcohol vanished a bit of her shyness; however, I did not need to explain what was to come next. She took the glass from me and gave it a seductive lick that was everything but reserved. She put her arms around my neck and jumped, wrapping her legs around my waist as I trapped her body against mine. She slid the glass into her mouth and gave me my drink at long last, doing her best to keep our lips touching in the process."

"Were you aroused at that point?" asked the voice bluntly.

"She was quite pretty, and the way she rocked her hips against mine was agreeable, yes," Remus was forced to admit. "I was much less self-conscious by then, but I was still quite aware that I was a show. So, no, I was not really aroused at that point. I walked to Penelope's chair, and I let her slide against my body until she was properly seated. I took a few steps back and started unbuttoning the two rows of golden buttons on the front of my robes.

"I took my time, as you can imagine, and by the time I uncovered my chest, they were all impatient and eager to see more. I danced close to them, but just far enough so their extended fingertips could not touch me. I teased them for a while until a witch, I don't remember which one, got bolder and grabbed my robes. They were on the floor a second later."

"It must have been incredibly flattering for your ego," purred the voice dangerously, "to have all these witches adoring you the way they did. Wasn't it, werewolf?"

"I can't lie, so you know I'll say yes," answered Remus with a sad smile. "Even if they are vulgar, even if they do treat you like a sex toy while they purr and wiggle in front of you the way they do, they still purr, and it's flattering and rewarding. And... personally... it felt good to feel so wanted for a change. Some men will stick to stripping almost exclusively in order to renew these feelings over and over. It's a bit addictive indeed. But when you're intelligent enough--"

"As I am sure you like to believe you are," commented the voice.

"...you realize that it's not you they scream for; it's just the whole glamour that comes with the show. Just the illusion that they can possess that sex toy if only for a little while, the illusion that the sex toy in question might, in fact, dance just for them, make them feel special. The witches who were in front of me that night, and all the others on any other given night, were like a pack of alley cats in front of a single wool ball. The fact they were a group of friends only stimulated their sense of competition and possessiveness. A part of them hoped, craved to see me give them that special glance, that discreet wink, that unique caress they would imagine I had in reserve for them only. I had begun to understand that principle when I went to stripping clubs, but it was only during my first professional striptease that I fully grasped its meaning."

"No doubt you used it to your advantage," said the voice knowingly.

"Oh, yes," answered Remus genuinely, the sadness of his smile vanished. "Once my robes were gone, I let them touch my chest and arms as they wished, but I did not take anything else off. I let them coo and howl at will, sliding money in the pockets of my trousers, before I made my next bold move. I Summoned a chair to the middle of the room and I sat on it, motioning Penelope to come sit with me. I let her roam her hands over whatever she wanted and, stroking her back and hair, I whispered some nonsense in her ear about how incredibly beautiful and desirable she was.

"It had the effect I was waiting for; she started kissing me, giving in to the loud encouragements of her friends. I quickly kissed my way to her neck and made her fall backward against one of my arms while I took off my boots with my free hand. Removing these pieces of clothing was never really sexy, and without the "lessons" I had taken, I would have chosen a method much more obvious, and much less pleasing to the eye, too. Once I was barefoot, I got up, Penelope still clinging to my body, and I made her sit on the chair like before.

"This time, however, I stayed in front of her. The other ladies could still see everything, but my attention was all on the future bride. I took her little hand in mine and pressed it against my heart. Then I took it lower, looking at her pupils that grew bigger with each passing second, and I finally put it over my belt.

"'Come on, Penelope!' screamed a very enthusiastic Narcissa.

"'Yeah, take it out!' approved Mrs Finnegan in the same tone.

"'Show us some real action!' shouted Bellatrix in a hoarse voice.

"'So, what do you want us to show them?' I murmured to Penelope, looking her in the eye. 'It's up to you.'

"'I want you to show me how you'd shag me if I wasn't engaged,' she replied huskily, unbuckling my belt and unbuttoning my trousers."

"It's a wonder her marriage lasted until Rosier was killed," commented the voice with irony.

"She was very inebriated at that point; it's usually the consequence of being the star of that kind of party. Her friends always made sure she had more to drink. I doubted that her real request was a full intercourse in front of the other guests, so I chose to interpret it more lightly. I let her open the front of my trousers and I kissed her neck again. Then, I made her turn around, bend forward, and I pressed my crotch against her rear. It had quite an impact on the group, obviously. None of them could close their mouth shut, and all eyes were fixed on that small hidden point where our two bodies touched.

"This time, the attention and situation had the desired effect. I felt my penis throb to life against her firm little arse and believe me, she felt it as well. She started moving back against me, stroking me harder and faster in hopes I would reward her efforts with a stronger erection. After a few minutes of that little game, her friends were aching to see me take off the rest of my clothes to see more of what was going on within the opening of my trousers."

The silence was complete in the room each time Remus stopped talking to probe his memory or choose his words. His interlocutor was listening with unquestionable interest.

"I caressed Penelope gently and made her understand that I wanted her to stand straight for a little while, which she obediently did. I turned to the rest of the group, and they all saw the promising swelling that emerged from the opening of my trousers. It made them cheer and shout even louder. I took a few steps towards them, dancing again, my self-confidence all inflated by the good vibe I felt in the room. I retrieved my wand and attempted a charm I had seen in a club the night before, something that seemed to please the ladies a lot. So I flashed them my most charming smile, aimed at my trousers and shouted the spell... except that it did not Vanish my trousers at all. It set them on fire instead."

"What?" exclaimed the voice, choking on a strangled laugh. "You set your trousers on fire? That's probably the stupidest magic glitch I have heard of in a long time," added the voice, laughing openly.

"Yeah, well, I don't exactly advertise it, you know," said Remus, smiling at his own clumsiness despite himself. "I have no idea what happened, but in my defence, I covered it up quite well. The witches barely had the time to gasp in surprise before I Vanished both the fire and the trousers in two quick flicks of my wand. And no, I did not suffer any burns, thanks for asking."

"It would have taught you a lesson," said the voice in a serious tone as its possessor regained a more austere composure. "So, what came next?"

"All that was left were my underpants... well, more of a string, really."

"Dear Merlin, how could you wear that aberration?" exclaimed the voice in sheer disgust.

"Part of the job, I guess," answered Remus philosophically. "You get used to it after a few days.... Besides, I doubt the underpants I normally wear would have been appropriate for that kind of show."

"Your attempts to play the victim are futile, Lupin. I hardly see you as such. Nobody forced you to wear that... house-elf loincloth."

"I am not playing the victim at all," replied Remus earnestly. "It's just that my choices were guided more by my customers' expectations than by my personal tastes."

"They were still your choices."

"And I assume them... and they seemed to be the right ones, from the comments I got," retorted Remus with increasing firmness. "They were not interested in seeing my arse and privates hidden and lost in a loose wrapping of cotton! They wanted to see my bare arse cheeks and stare at a nice, obvious, and revealing bulge on the front. My choices were quite limited, as you see!"

"Careful, werewolf," warned the voice icily. "You don't want to kiss the floor again, do you?"

"No, I don't," Remus articulated, the words slipping through his lips before he could hold them back.

"Then I suggest you resume your tale at once."

"Fine. There is not much left to say about the striptease itself. As you can easily guess, I played a few more games with Penelope and her friends. They were all similar to the ones I had used before: sharing drinks, picking up a Galleon with my mouth from between their teeth, having Penelope sit on my lap, and so on. A witch, probably one of the Black sisters, Vanished my string at the end of a song. I Summoned my clothes and retired to a boudoir a few minutes later among the mixed applause and protestations of the guests."

"Something tells me you were foolishly proud of your little act," commented the voice arrogantly.

"I was. It had gone pretty smoothly for a first show, and I was still thrilled from the experience."

"I heard nothing extraordinary in your tale, however," continued the voice in a critical tone. "You told me earlier that unexpected events took place. What were they?"

"They took place just after I retired, you see," said Remus with a little smirk. "I was still Transfiguring my clothes back to their original state when I heard the door open and close behind me. Narcissa and Bellatrix were there. The first one was blushing furiously; she looked like she was still unsure about whether she wanted to be there or not. The other looked quite the opposite... her smile was almost carnal."

~)*(~

Author's notes

As always, special thanks to the irreplaceable Vaughn, who is the beta for all my fanfics. Thanks for reading; comments are always appreciated, for they make me progress as a writer!