Three

He was sitting quietly in front of his fire, sipping his brandy and enjoying the sound of the rainstorm outside. It took him several moments to realise that pounding was not thunder but someone knocking at the door.

"Hermione? Why are you outside? You look like a drowned rat!"

"C-can I come in please, Severus?"

"Of course. Why didn't you cast an Impervious Charm on yourself?"

"I don't know. I just... I just didn't think of it."

"You didn't think of it? Why not? Hermione, you are starting to worry me. Let me dry you with a spell and sit you down. What's wrong?"

"Bl-Blaise called it off."

"Called what off?"

"The wedding, Severus! He called off the wedding."

"He did WHAT? The wedding is in six weeks! Why on earth would he do that?"

"I don't know. He said so many things. I can't think right now. I don't understand. He said I was blind if I didn't see it myself."

"See what yourself?"

"I don't know! I don't understand."

"Why don't you start at the beginning? Here, take a long sip of this, and you will feel warm in no time. A sip! Not a... well. You threw that back like a champion."

"Better. Much better."

"Now what happened?"

"I was at home looking through our research on the Wolfsbane Potion modifications. I'd just received your letter and wanted to go over some of the sticking points before Blaise and I met for dinner. I guess I got distracted because the next thing I knew Blaise was at the door asking why I never showed up. I realised I was two hours late and apologised. I starting explaining some of modifications you suggested, and he just... he just... just sat down on the couch and sighed."

"He sighed? What for?"

"He asked if he was ever going to come first. I assumed he meant to my research, and I explained to him that of course he was first. I was just on a tear because I think we are on the verge of a major breakthrough."

"But he knows this. He has been there for other breakthroughs. Why is this bothering him now?"

It was another one of the rare uncomfortable silences between them.

"Hermione, if you don't wish to discuss this, we don't have to."

"N-no. We need to talk about this. He said... he said it wasn't the research he felt second to. It was you."

"Me? Why would he feel second to me?"

"I don't know! He started talking about how even when he came to offer me the job, I wanted to speak to you first. How when he and I began dating, I always spoke with you before agreeing to the next date. I told him I wasn't looking for approval from you to go on the date. I was just looking for confirmation of the time, but he just kept talking. He said that I was always quick to look for you at family dinners, that you were the first one I looked for. And when we announced our engagement, he said I was looking straight at you."

"And... did... I mean, were you... doing this?

"Yes. But I didn't realise it then. I didn't realise it until Blaise said it. I was looking to you, wanting to see your face. Were you really happy that I was going to marry Blaise? Did you think it was a good idea? I wanted to know your reaction."

"But why would my reaction matter? Blaise is the one you are happy with. I am your research partner. Why does my opinion count so much?"

"I don't know! I thought it was because you are my friend. I care what all my friends think."

"What does Blaise think?"

"He thinks... he thinks no matter what everyone else says, you always do what I suggest, what I think you should do. He thinks that you care for me as more than a research partner, more than a friend."

"Why does he think that?"

"Because he says you look at me the same way I look at you. The way Draco and Ginny look at each other."

Another uncomfortable silence crept in. Taking a small sip, Hermione watched Severus.

"Do you? Do you look at me the way Draco looks at Ginny?"

"I... I don't know. I mean, I never paid particular attention to how they look at each other, so I couldn't compare."

"Severus... is Blaise right? Do you care for me?"

"Of course I care for you, Hermione. You are my friend, and I have few enough people that I can call friend to disregard you so easily."

"Severus! Don't do this. Not now. Please!"

"What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say? I will tell you whatever you want to hear, Hermione, but I don't know what that is!"

"I just want the truth. Am I your friend? Does Blaise have this wrong? Or do you care for me as more than a friend?"

"Of course I do! Do you really want to hear this though? Do you? Does it make you feel better knowing that I pine for you even when you are right here with me? Every time I see you laugh and smile with Blaise, it tears me up. I want to be one to make you happy. I want to be the one you smile for! But I am not. I can't be that person. So I let you be happy with him. I keep it to myself because I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me. He doesn't deserve you, Hermione. None of them did, nor do I. You can't just settle for someone; you have to find that one person that keeps challenging you to be a better person. You loved them all so well that they couldn't grow anymore. It was easier for them to sit back and let you have your way. But it stifles you, doesn't it? You end up holding back."

"Because they weren't you! I had to hold back because the only part left was the part you had. I've spent years wishing I could be the person to make you happy. I saw you with your dates and your lovers, and I had to stand there and smile through it all. I hoped that you would find that one person. You had your type of woman and I wasn't her. I saw that right away, so I never told you how I felt. When I moved to Hogwarts to work with you, I broke it off with Roger. I thought that maybe you would start to see me as more than your student. But there was nothing there. You never saw me as more than a friend, more than a colleague. It hurt so badly. As much as I wanted to be there, I knew I couldn't bear to see you day after day without giving myself away. I had to take that job or I would have embarrassed myself. I watched you to see if it made any difference to you, and I saw nothing. It didn't matter to you that I was leaving."

"Hermione, it mattered more than you could know. How could I act any different? I am twenty years older than you; I was your teacher, for Merlin's sake!"

"And then I was your boss for the Department! Things change, Severus. I grew up! Do you still only see me as a student?"

"Of course I don't!"

"Then why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you are yelling at me!"

"Then what are we fighting about?"

"I don't know anymore! Hermione... please. I promised I would not interfere in your relationships. If you love Blaise, go work it out with him."

"I may care for Blaise, but I could never love him the way I love you, Severus. If you want me to go, that is your decision. But don't push me away out of some misguided sense of fair play. I have told you how I feel, but I cannot do this again. If I walk out now, I am not coming back. If you do not want me, I will walk away."

"I will always want you, Hermione. But more than that, I want what is best for you. I want you to stay here, but I don't know that I can make you happy. I can love you with my whole heart, but I don't know that it will be enough."

"Severus, it will always be more than enough for me. I love you just as much as you say you love me. Don't push me away now. Don't waste more time. If we had both had the courage, we could have done this years ago. Don't let this pass!"

"Are you sure this is what you want? I couldn't let you go again, Hermione. If you are staying, it has to be forever."

"Of course it is forever. I won't let you go now that I have you. You are the one I have been looking for; I just couldn't let myself hope that you wanted me the same way."

"I don't want to waste any more time. Stay with me, Hermione. Be here with me."

"Always, Severus. Always."

A/N: I am not so happy with this ending. My stories always end up as fluff. *sigh* Maybe one day I can figure out how to keep that from happening. Thank you all for sticking with me these brief chapters. Let me know what you think.