Love in the Heart of Darkness
Phantasm Phoenix13 Reviews | 13 Ratings, 0 Likes, 8 Favorites )
Severus Snape is not a nice man (a good man, but not a nice one), but even he can fall in love . . .
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About Phantasm Phoenix
Author
Phantasm Phoenix
Member Since 2007 | 1 Story | Favorited by 0 | 7 Reviews Written | 14 Review Responses
im a student in the UK. studying for a Bachelors Degree in Film Studies and European Art.
Reviews for Love in the Heart of Darkness
I'm really enjoying this story will there be an update soon?
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
Actually I had abandoned the story, it wasn't going to where I wanted it to go. However, I had to take a writing course at uni this year - so I now think I have the tools/skills to shape it the way I want. There may well be an update soon if I can find a new beta to take up the story
Hermione complained that 'Dumbledore kept dismissing her so bluntly' – more so, a lot of your paragraphs are a little abrupt. You seem to be rushing the scenes to get to the next bit. Life, and good stories need to unfold gracefully.[Corny, I know.]
Do you really think Hermione would actually go so far as to leap on the window-seat at a house-elf arriving? Maybe she'd be startled a little at the suddenness, but leap on the seat!? Besides, house-elves don't use the floo; they just go.
Also, if Hermione is supposed to be 'a silent member of the Order of the Phoenix' ... supposing that to mean that she works in secret [??], why is Dumbledore mentioning it out loud at dinner? There is no indication in known canon information that Flitwick or Hooch are members of the Order, or that they know the whys and wherefores of what Severus does in his spare time.
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
Ah, you seem to have caught me out there. I'm writing the fic purely as a bit of fun, so I'm afraid my HP knowledge probably doesn't extend as far as those die-hard fans. I would also like to draw your attention to something. This is a FICTION of which I am the author, therefore I have the ability (and the right) to change a few things. For example; in JKR's HP Hermione and Snape don't go around shagging on desks do they? But you find it perfectly fine for people to alter that fact? yet when I add a couple of memebers to the Order, that's a problem? Hang on a minute . . . this seems slightly unbalanced!And Hermione is a silent member in the same way a partner in a business can a silent one - as in NOT ACTIVE! Yet she is still there to be called upon should the need arise.
Not bad, I think you did fairly good job, but the action is a bit jumpy. Try for a bit more flow from one scene to the next. You did a great job thinking of a new idea (parole) and the story seems solid at this point. good luck I will see you next chapter.
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
The main reason for the jumps is because i wanted to cram as much into this chapter as possible, and short bursts of action seemed the easiest way. I never had high hopes for this chapter, mainly because it's only a transition chapter to link 1 and 3 together. But now everything is set up, so you can all just sit back and watch the magic happen (pardon the pun.lol) in the next few chapters . . .
That was a bit disjointed, but I still want to see where this goes.
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
Thanks for reviewing. The next chapter is simpler, so please stay with me
Very intriguing beginning. I like that sun spell.
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
Thank you so much. I was kinda nervous about what people might say about this chapter ~ as its my first fanfic, i wasn't sure what to expect.Please make sure you stay with me till chapter three - that's when it'll all kick in!!!P.s - People seemed to have locked on to my Sun Spell???
Interesting beginning. How do you pronounce your OC's name?
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
its pronounced Jas-mee. Like Jasmine without the 'n'
Interesting beginning.
is this a hermione and severus story
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
it is very much a hermione and severus story, though unfortunately I've taken the first two chapters to introduce my OC and fully set the seen. But chapter 3 gets the narrative going fully ~ Just you wait!!!lolThanks to everyone for reviewing ~ it's always welcome
Response from harrypotterfan2005 (Reviewer)
so is the oc severus's version of a female a harry or a ron
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
basically yeh. but no at the same time. its like a bad ron. there was something more than friendship there (just to complicate the SS HG story a bit more) but nothing ever happened. she was convicted of murder and spent ten years in Azkaban. i won't give away too much, but she and Snape fell out over it.rest assured though, this IS an SS/HG fic with the normal results ~ i just wanted to do it a bit differently.
Response from harrypotterfan2005 (Reviewer)
lets just hope severus's old friend does not want to be more than friends with the sex and fun. fyi i think that is what my ex wants to be friend with the sex and fun. there is no way am letting that happen i do need him now for a while i just losted my granma and my granpa could be gone soon to.
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
gone soon too?
Response from harrypotterfan2005 (Reviewer)
my granpa is sick too they had to put him a in nursing home he is bed ridding. he might only have a few more months to
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
my heart goes out to you.
Hmmmm. Interesting start, I like the 'sun charm' for lack of another term. It's original. I like the story so far so I'll see you next chapter.
An interesting beginning to your story. The dreams, the summons from Voldemort bringing Snape to the place where Jasmie was stranded, all has a feeling of coincidences that couldn't possibly be.Must remind self to be patient and allow author to reveal all in her own time.
Still a bit disjointed, but interesting. There was a transition missing, I think from when Severus found Jasmie, to Voldemort demanding a duel. But I am enjoying your story.
Is there some magic afoot that makes Hermione and Severus attracted to each other?
Response from Phantasm Phoenix (Author of Love in the Heart of Darkness)
well you'll just have to read it and find out won't you! (evil plan laugh)
Another intense chapter, very enjoyable. I can only hope Jasmie will be up and about soon, and maybe Hermione and Severus will have more than a one night stand as it looks like he is hoping.