What a twist at the end. Wow.

Trust Hermione to have such a detailed fantasy, complete with small movements, motiviations, dialogue, character preservation.
And the 5 minute head start.

My only uncertainty is about their positions during the Occlumency lesson.  Snape is clearly behind the desk with as he leans against the back of his chair. Is he sitting down leaning backward, or is he standing behind the chair and leaning forward? And where is Hermione that, despite him being behind the desk, he can lean forward and breathe against her lips?  Is she sitting or standing?

Thanks for writing about "Past Curfew," which I'd seen first on Tumblr. :)

Wow. That was very cool. Surprising twist at the end too. I wasn't expecting the Occlumency lesson.

Whew! YUM. I'd love more of this.

Great job. At first I thought Hermione was a bit OFC, but that just made the twist at the end all the better. I thought the end part was very well written. You did a great job of allowing me to follow all of the emotions Hermione could go through in the span of a few seconds. Snape’s reaction was short but powerful. Perfect. I will say that I was a bit confused by the fist few paragraphs since this is supposed to take place in Hermione’s fantasy, so why are we seeing so much into Snape’s thoughts? I almost wish you’d started the story with the gargoyles...Or maybe I feel that way because it would have shortened the time it took to get to that yummy lemon. Thank you.

Damn, that was good! When I got to the part about the occlumency I kinda slapped my forehead! Great twist didn't see that one coming.  Great job!

Nice!

Nice twist there at the end!  Very well done and quite original.  Great job!

Flawless!