Reconciliation

Did I ever tell you that I don't own the characters of the Harry Potter universe?

As for making money: nope, you won't get any when you leave a review. But I promise that you'll get a reply!

:*:*:*:

Reconciliation

Severus felt fully awake one morning, and the fever was gone. This time, he did not miss any part of the morning ritual, learned with a shock that it was already 3rd January, and could hardly wait for the moment when Ginny would reach his left hand. She spent far too long on his shoulders and upper arm. When she proceeded below his elbow, his mental tension was almost painful as he willed her hands lower still. Finally, finally she came to his palm and the back of his hand. With all his might, he concentrated on gripping her hand.

"What?" she almost shrieked. "Sorry, Severus, I didn't want to startle you, but this was unexpected. Do it again..."

She positioned his hand on the bed sheet and named his fingers one by one. He could move all but the little one.

"Oh, this is so wonderful!" When her head came into his view, she was all smiles, and the realisation that her tension had lifted washed warmly through Severus' body. "Let's see if you have enough control to communicate. Move the index and then the ring finger." He complied for a few such commands, noticing how taxing these small movements were. He hoped fervently she would start asking questions instead.

Ginny sensed as much. Was he in acute pain...no. Was it too hot, too cold...no. Did he feel hungry or thirsty...a little. Was the medication correct...mostly. She tried to probe deeper here, but she didn't get an idea.

Severus had more and more trouble concentrating and getting his fingers into motion, and his last replies came slowly and weakly.

"I wonder how difficult it is for you to move your fingers. Move your index if you have trouble and move your middle finger if not... index. All right, Severus, we must see how we can ease it."

After a little experimenting, they changed into Ginny gripping his hand and receiving pressure rather than movement.

His hand in hers, actively searching contact, was a sight Ginny had missed for ever so long. For some time, she could only close her eyes and feel their joined hands, the little pressure assuring her that he meant it. Slowly, her breath evened, and she could open her wet eyes without losing a tear.

When Severus shivered slightly, she made haste to finish his massage. She discovered with joy that his right foot could push against her hand and his toes could wiggle a bit. But generally she would concentrate on his hand.

The "bathroom tasks" were accomplished without any communication. Ginny closed his eyes according to his request when she went to make breakfast.

"You'll have egg and bacon today. Can't have only porridge, can you?" She had indeed made scrambled egg with fine-ground bacon. It smelled and tasted delicious, although Severus personally would have added more salt and pepper.

Severus did not remember dozing off, but it was lunchtime when he was lucid again. Another soft, porridge-like meal of vegetable, potato and probably some meat. She placed his hand into hers and asked for general needs. "More to drink?" got a YES, and quickly she fetched warm tea as well as the bottle to catch it afterwards. Severus noticed it with less embarrassment than previously.

"Severus, if you're strong enough for moving your fingers, I'm wondering if you would agree for me to use a light Legilimency on you. I promise I will not go deeper than you wish. Grip twice for a yes! One grip for a no!" Finally, he thought and gladly gripped twice... and yet another two double-grips. She smiled with relief. "Oh, this will be so good! I will have a chance to help you much more efficiently this way!"

Tenderly, she positioned him adequately in a light place, but without bright sunshine into either her or his eyes. She was about to cast the spell when the house alarm announced Draco. "Oh, b-blast," she exclaimed, expressing what Severus could only formulate in thought, although he would have used stronger words.

Severus waited with his patience growing thinner, but it took her forever to get rid of the boy. Finally, Draco was convinced that she didn't want to take a walk to the shops herself, and he asked her for a shopping list. She accepted his offer gladly. She discussed only a few things with him, which meant he would be back in no time.

Ginny rushed back into the bedroom again and repositioned herself opposite the patient. She asked him to think of his physical needs first.

"Legilimens!"

Severus showed her a peaceful scene first and felt her hand relax. Then he thought of a certain, well-read medical book and its place on the shelf. He searched for a way to express 'tissue fortifier', but couldn't think of more than the main ingredients and the creamy, orange, final product. "That's it," he signalled.

She rushed out and returned with the heavy tome. She flicked through the first chapters that Severus knew to hold pictures of skinless bodies in motion where the joints, the muscles and tendons were highlighted and people stripped of some flesh so that their magical nodes showed as they were casting spells. She soon reached the second part full of medical potions. Her eyes sparkled in the prospect of a cure.

"We'll find it, and we'll give you some relief. Hmm, let me think. I'll run my finger along the table of contents, and when I reach its chapter you grip me." She arranged his eyes and awkwardly hitched the book on her hips to bring it in line with his view. She positioned his hand over her lower arm. "Test: grip twice if this works!"

Soon she had the sub-chapter and the potion within. "Timothy's Tissue Treat, you mean. Stronger still than what I applied the first day, and not as short-timed as the one I used on... our day." She received a double-grip for confirmation and smiled. It was the first smile to Severus that showed more confidence and hope than apprehension and despair.

As she perused the directions, however, all her faith in her skills faltered. "The potion causes kidney dysfunction if some of these fresh ingredients are too old or the stirring pattern is altered and..." she was shaking, her face white as the bed sheet "...it could turn fatal if the obsidian crystals aren't balanced well enough. Severus, I've never even learned how to determine that. I'm not risking poisoning you. There is no way I can brew this! Show me a person who can brew this, and I'll owl them. Draco maybe? Legilimens!"

Severus indicated to close the book and shelve it.

In her exhausted state, Ginny was suddenly in tears. "I'm failing you, I'm so sorry." Quickly, he pressed her arm again and didn't let go of her until she looked into his eyes once again. He showed her a pacifying landscape picture she didn't know and stroked her hand until her blurry vision had cleared and she sat steadier. Then he showed a calendar, ticking off days. "You mean it will take longer without the potion?" Double-grip. "Will you be in pain in the meantime?" He loosened his hand up as much as possible. "No?" Double-grip. And another one. Her shoulders sagged, and she let out a breath in relief, trying hard to keep her composure. But it was as if she blew out the last control she had kept.

With a weak sigh, the young witch collapsed onto his bed, her shoulders falling heavily onto his thighs, and did not stir for long minutes. Severus' arm and hand were trapped under her, and all he could do was keep still. Eventually, she breathed deeper again, and he deliberately splayed out his fingers as far as he could and drew them together again, hoping it made a difference to her.

A car drove by, brakes squealing, and Ginny jerked up. She focused on her patient again. "Will you heal completely without it?" Double-press. "Should I try the general tissue fortifier again?" His double-press came as the alarm announced Draco. "All right then. It is easy to brew, and I'll have it tonight. I have so many questions, too many to go through. Let's see what Draco has to say."

Draco read the directions of said potion with increasing alarm and burst out, "What were you thinking asking her for that?! Goodness, this could have gone so wrong down there in the ill-illuminated lab. With the herring scales, I shudder to imagine how you might have ended up! A botched warts remover is not exactly the same as a thoroughly failed tissue strengthener, Mr Potions master. I've been brewing with you for quite a while, and I readily believe that Ginny isn't a Longbottom either, but this? Honestly, Severus, back at Hogwarts even you would never have let us use such a brew on ourselves."

They were right. Now that he saw his dangerous misjudgement, Severus had problems explaining it to himself. Have I started idealising Ginevra? She is not a Potions genius with years and years of training. She is only sixteen years old, even if she has skills I will never have. She is my wife, but we're not interchangeable. One's weakness matters less if it is the other's strength. We must arrange ourselves so that we complement each other. IF we ever manage to arrange our lives, considering our current dispute, he grudgingly added.

"No, Ginny," Draco was saying as Severus concentrated on them again. "Who cares if you dropped the book; Severus has enough of them. You're doing amazingly well, and if this mountain troll here cannot approve of it, then Merlin help him." The boy moved towards the door. "Come out of here now, let's have a chat."

"I'll close your eyes, love. Have a nice rest. I'll open the window for you." She tucked him in again, and he was alone with the additional burden to have set her into alarm.

:*:*:*:

"Severus, are you awake? Let me close the window, and I'll try for a little chat again."

Severus had already been waiting for her. Now he would tell her! She suggested a timetable: first dinner, then reading, a massage, then some dessert. "Is this an acceptable plan?" Double-grip. "Are you hungry?" Double-grip and another one. "It wasn't enough?" Her voice got a fearful edge, and Severus stroked her hand with his thumb, which was all he could do to drive away this idea, even if, truth be told, he was ready to eat a Hippogriff. "I'd like to know what you want, but we cannot put this in grips now. Is Legilimency all right?" Double-grip. Severus showed her a cow and tried for rice as well. He then cast some imaginary onions into the bin. "Beef stew with rice, no onion?" Double-grip. Silence. "You love them, normally. Is it... because they cause flatulence?" Even with the lightest double-grip he could give her, Severus cringed at the pained expression on her face. "I have totally missed that point. Oh, Severus, I'm so sorry." He stroked her arm gently with his thumb, once again swearing to himself for his incapacity. How was he to tell her she did fine?

With the practised yes/no double-grip, she successfully checked through a few vegetables and turned to go to the kitchen. Glancing back with a smile, she told him, "This reminds me of Saturday nights at Hogwarts. Colin came up with a game, and later Dean joined, and a few other Muggle-borns: One thinks of an object and the others must guess. Only yes/no answers allowed. They were normally much better than us pure-bloods when it came to producing really helpful questions. They would have found out all this without Legilimency! Now I'll start, and you make up a dessert!" Seconds later, she returned again, noting, "I'll close your eyes now, so they don't hurt." Severus moved his desire to regain the blinking reflex to the top of his wish-list, so that he could look at her whenever she was near.

:*:*:*:

"The stew is simmering," she announced, draping his hand around her lower arm. "Want to tell me about the dessert now?" No grip. "I'm sorry if I rushed in; are you awake and ready for a chat?" Double-grip. He could see the concentration in her face. A true pure-blood that she was, it took her a while to find out how to continue. Eventually, her face brightened. "You want to talk, but not about the dessert." Double-grip and another one. "Eager to talk?" Double-grip.

"If it's not a concrete task related to your illness..." double-grip, "...I'm quite lost. Draco? No. Something I must do? No. Oh, but yes, we should've reinforced the wards. I'll owl Draco on this. But this wasn't what you wanted. Hmm, you say yes to a negative question. Yes, that it wasn't? Good." her brows furrowed but eventually she said, "I'm not good at this game, can I enter your mind again?" She received two double grips for this.

Severus tried to think of the wonderful moments with her. He managed at least two pictures of himself stroking her cheeks and her smiling at him, but he could not bring across his regret for the loss and for his foolishness. He tried with other images, their engagement and a fairly passionate kiss they had shared when making lunch, but all in all he failed at expressing what he really wanted.

His young witch panted heavily when she withdrew from his mind. "There you are, unable to move and this is what you've been thinking about?" Double-grip and another one. He would have pressed more often or firmer, but his forces were limited.

"Is it important for you?" Double-grip. She hesitated to go on, and her turbulent emotions reflected on her face. After she got a grip on herself, she declared, "Severus, this can go so utterly wrong if I draw wrong conclusions!" She stood and left the bed to pace the length of the room. Damn, he had lost her again and could not even see her anymore.

When she returned, she took his hand into hers. His tiny stroke reassured her. "No, not now," she insisted. "A time will come to discuss this. I'm ready whenever you are," she told him, cupping his chin. Looking into his eyes sincerely, she added with shaking voice, "I appreciate your attempt. It... it means a lot to me." Then she hastily closed his eyes and left for the kitchen.

Her eyes were red when she returned with the blended stew in one bowl, a normal version in another and a spoon for each of them. "Now, while this cools, what about pudding? We could have custard cream, fruit, hmm, chocolate wasn't a good idea and all the rest suffers too much when minced or blended. It is those two then. Fruit? No. Custard? No again? You've another idea? Yes. Then I need to look into your eyes again. You know, I feel like an intruder."

She was more than taken aback by the picture of herself, naked, straddling him, rocking in ecstasy. "Oh, Merlin. I'm sorry. I should not have gone there."

Severus forced all strength into his arm and kept a grip on hers so that she could not take up her dinner. After a considerable time of hesitation, she conceded, but warned him to send her images she could not misread and pried in once again. The rune for home and family life? Our wedding rings? He let her go, exhausted.

Knowing that Severus' face was void of expressions these days, Ginny didn't feel generous enough to have him see her emotions yet again and leaned away. She lifted her left hand, fingers splayed, and turned it to look at her wedding ring. She felt, if he sent her such signals, that he better be stable enough to know just how that affected her. Clearing her throat, she put hardness into her voice. "Just so you know: this is the first time I have looked at it. It has been so pointless."

Indeed, there it was: the rune for home and family life, next to the rune for... "Hope for a future, Severus?" It explained a lot. "The hope was destroyed, and the future with a family in a real home appeared impossible," she mused and stood to pace again. "I don't quite know what to say."

Not allowing him any further interaction, she started feeding him, taking her own dinner at the same time. She didn't speak, didn't let his left hand touch her, but she allowed him one eye open at a time to take in the scene.

After the massage and 'toilet', she returned with three books to have him chose from and read for an hour before she yawned and excused herself. "It's been a hard day for me; I will retire. I'll be back with a tissue potion and toothbrush."

It was his last chance for today, and he used it, holding on to the sleeve of her shirt until she opened his mind again even if she said that it was against her better judgement. He asked her to move him a little to the side and lie down next to him, spooning again. "You want me to sleep here?" This time Severus forced four double-grips through the stiff joints, although they signalled to his brain that he might never be able to move his hand again if he didn't stop.

With a trembling lower lip and a wavering voice, she said, "You make me very happy with this, Severus." This time Severus was glad he was unable to move. He would not have known where to look, what to do with his hands, his head, in short what to do with himself. As it was, he felt his intestines churned and wrung, tilted and stirred.

He was still in turmoil when the girl that was his wife crawled in next to him. She was shivering with cold, or was it anxiety, fear, hope? With the warmth of each other's body, they slowly relaxed and found sleep.

:*:*:*:

Severus woke up in the dark, strengthened by the tissue healing potion, feeling more than a little reckless. A pillow between his chest and her shoulders, prevented their heads from touching, but his left hand was sloppily hanging over her belly, as he had asked for. Like a caterpillar he worked his fingers over Ginny's sleeping body till he reached her collarbone. He stroked leisurely at first, then more determinedly. When she was stirring and waking up, he paused.

Fully awake Ginny immediately tried to disentangle herself and leave, but this time he would not have it. He stopped shortly, his hand flat on her chest, as if in question. When she stroked the back of his hand, he continued as much as his incapacitated body allowed him.

Eventually, Severus moved to her breast, circling around the centre of one and the other, just to make the point that their difference did not matter to him. When Ginny's breathing became heavy, Severus stilled his movements. This was not about passion, but making her comfortable. He moved his hand away from where they could send ambiguous signals and caressed neutral areas instead. All too soon, his hand dropped down on her arm.

Our case is not lost, was Ginny's last coherent thought before she curled away from his head to avoid unwanted contact with his mouth and dozed off.

:*:*:*:

It was a very happy Ginny indeed who opened the door for Draco on Sunday morning. Without any details, she reported that they had arranged a means of communication and that her patient would be getting a weaker, but safer tissue strengthener every evening.

Outside, Draco swore. "Oh, damn and blast, the wards have modulated."

He mused about what must have happened. "Of course, Severus will have tuned them to himself and to his state. Now, that he is weakened, they are very strong against ill-wishers. That's clever. But," he panted, gripping his resistant wand with both hands and forcing it to describe an exact circle, "they are as rigid as a dried Lobalug spout and hard to get a hold on."

He contemplated some more and gave Ginny an appraising look. "You're to try that second layer, I should think."

Draco marched her through the spell, and although Ginny had never tried casting these particular wards, she eventually found out how to handle them and made her way once around the house.

Still, the two of them lacked Severus' powers and routine, making it draining work.

After a hearty lunch, Ginny insisted on going shopping.

"I might not be here when you come back," Draco told her, clearly not comfortable with the thought of her wandering into town alone.

Draco had just minutes to spare, and he used them for a monologue with his mentor. "She was good with the Repellopravus. Don't kill me for letting her out alone because she truly needs it. She's a lot better today, I'm glad to see," he started but then moved to business. He had news.

The new school would start on 13th January, and it was to be a boarding school for five nights and the four days in between. Weekends were going to be school days so that the parents pursuing a regular profession would be freed to serve their master's orders. "I do get the impression this is the main goal, Severus. Our education seems secondary. They are going to hold N.E.W.T.s in the beginning of February and O.W.L.s a month later. I do hope you are going to allow Ginny to take those." A double-tap on the duvet answered him.

"Ah, is this the yes?" Another double-tap. "Now I understand what Ginny told me. So: will you be teaching? Yes. Potions? Yes. Good. Even if you hate it, I prefer your strict regime with the inevitable Longbottom among us. Theodore came close enough in year five. There won't be a choice in subjects; all students will take the same ones. Theo has been at my place to catch up with year six, and his father has been teaching us lots of great charms, including some really advanced illusions. You'll see Theo mutilating beetle eyes again. Happy? No 'yes' for that, I can imagine. You teach all years? Yes.

"Up to O.W.L.s level, all children of Death Eaters will attend. Not the last two years, though. Vincent and Gregory are to continue field education rather than head for N.E.W.T.s. There is a similar restriction in the seventh year N.E.W.T.s class. You're spared Ariana Atcluft. Or any married girl, er, woman. Ginny's education ends with O.W.L.s as well," Draco noted sadly.

Continuing in this manner, he learned that Severus would be teaching yet another subject. It would come close to Defence against the Dark Arts although the 'against' could be replaced with a 'by use of'. They weren't happy about this, yet both preferred Severus teaching to other possible teachers.

"I've heard traditional Ravenclaw families are setting up an institution of their own. Non-political, they say," he reported with a huff. "They invite all first to third years from all houses to some primary school. Based on their marks, the elder ones can join their Upper Sorcery School. Flitwick is said to teach there, but no other Hogwarts teachers. I don't envy the Ravenclaw Death Eaters. The Dark Lord is going to be furious!"

Draco was about to tell him of his assignment the day before when his Dark Mark started glowing and hurting. "I'm off, Severus. Behave," he reminded his mentor and left. On his way to the forest, he passed by Paul Nott and nodded in relief.

:*:*:*:

Severus spent all of his time alone exercising his body. Ginevra had thankfully abandoned the belly-position once his skin had healed, but she frequently turned him to lie left, right or on his back. He often asked to be laid on the right side, facing the room.

Yet, when the two testers arrived on Monday morning, he wasn't really co-operative. Ginny was wise enough to not reveal much to them either, while they once again prodded parts of his body and measured, and the youngster scribbled down observations, commenting on them freely. "His magical nodes are less balled, and I dare say he should have his magic back to his fingertips. If there was such a thing as wordless and wandless magic, he could... Ouch!" He rapidly withdrew his hand to observe the blue halo.

"Never underestimate Severus Snape!" Paul Nott declared with a grin.

Paul Nott observed the girl's mood with satisfaction and made no effort to hide the fact from Severus. However, nothing of it entered the report he dictated. With a last reminder for Ginny about her wards, he called the other man to leave.

"You can scare people again, Severus? You must feel so much better," Ginny commented sarcastically.

Severus' left forearm and hand were stronger; as was his right foot. Catching his right hand with his left, he started moving it, but didn't feel any improvement. Instead, he noticed he had instinctively tilted his head a bit, and weren't his eyes able to move in their sockets? Yes, definitely! Already this morning, he had felt his tongue helping the swallowing spell along. So he trained these three parts, loosening them like a massage loosens strong kinks in one's shoulder.

Whenever she was out of the room, he trained his jaw and neck and also tried humming. Swallowing went easier with each meal, and his right foot bent and stretched the left one under the cover whenever Severus remembered it.

"You have built up much more body tension today," Ginny confirmed to him at the short evening massage.

"Severus..." she started after all evening routines were accomplished, "You realise that we should..." He pressed her hand as firmly as he could. Yes, if even in his poor state he could give her a little pleasure he would not try and discuss otherwise.

Inhaling actively, Severus observed her carefully. If only he could use his tongue on her! One of the few parts he was able to move was the most flexible and sensitive one he had. But it was forbidden by something of which he still had no understanding. As it was, he approved of doing everything as last time. Moving his liberated eyes over her body, he regretted all the more how very little he could stroke her, please her and yes, enjoy her.

Ginny was not aware of all these thoughts, but this time she knew that she had his consent, and she remembered his effort the days before. She could enjoy the awkward arrangements a lot more than last time.

A very much relaxed, but exhausted witch cuddled close to him, pulled his arm over her to interlace her fingers with his and drifted off to sleep.

:*:*:*:

In the morning, Severus tried to train his muscles for the toilet-business while the task was up, but stopped when he noticed he might cause a mess Ginny would have to clean afterwards. She wanted to move him to the sofa, but he asked to stay for the morning, pretending to need rest.

Instead, he spurred himself into motion as soon as she had left. His left hand inched along the bedspread and over to the bedside table. A small and a larger flat glass jar of ointment stood there, along with a phial containing the tissue strengthener. The pots were unlabelled (he'd have to scold her) and too tightly closed for his one-hand operation mode.

"Severus, what are you doing?" She rushed over to him and prevented the pot from falling when he lost control at her sudden exclamation. "You managed to get it all by yourself? This is excellent!"

He motioned her to open the jars, tell him what these were. Blushing, she told him quietly, "Don't drop it. We'll still need it, I'm afraid." Severus still assumed that the copulation control was disabled (otherwise the greenhorn would have mentioned something), but if he managed to please her again, she need never know that, he decided. He pointed at the ointments and drew a question mark on the bedspread.

Severus recognized the smell from the smaller jar, but was still unable to identify more than horseradish. Inhaling deeply, he got enough air to force out two words "What, where?" Blushing heavily now, she opened the wider jar, put it in his reach and left. He did not think he had ever smelled or brewed this one. It would have its yellow colour from ymbglidegold or calendula, a plant to soothe irritated skin. He found notes of pickled Doxy wings which had very little effect when working through the skin...but then the skin in question was thin and sensitive and blood vessels ran directly underneath.

Ginny returned with two small booklets. "From your impressive collection, but not from the section you forbid me from."

It was Severus' turn to blush, and he was sure he impersonated a beetroot. She had found A Pimp's Primer for Porridges and Brothel Brews, the booklets he had bought after he had once found himself succumbing all too easily to one of the dubious ladies.

"You find this embarrassing? That's a bit rich, considering that I found them in your possession. Academic interest only, I'm sure," she smirked while she showed him the pages of the brews. "Good thing though, for I shudder to think of Ludwig's Lust and related stuff."

The nose ointment was only partly for what he had experienced, enabling one to breathe more freely. It increases your sensibility also for certain fragrances, the erotic ones which were listed below. On his question Ginny pointed to two she had used in the massage oil. "They work on both sexes, and I used that ointment myself." Severus asked to get the ointment at his disposal to help his breathing.

The other oily salve, Celia's Coax, was for near-to-impotent brothel clients. Applied... well, locally. In contrast to your ordinary lust potions, it was used by the women and preferably furtively. The man experiences his performance enhanced without realising why or how. "Praise him as further encouragement; the male pride craves for it," he read. Damn true!

He recalled why he had bought the booklets. To identify the threat and weaknesses he might have and find tactics how to steel himself against any seducer. Truth be told, there had been little risk. Twenty-odd years later here is she, Ginevra, my wife. If he didn't repeatedly formulate the thought, it was still unbelievable.

"Already the smell of Ludwig's Lust is so disgusting," she prattled on, "that I would not want to be with one who uses it. It is for show-offs searching to over-perform and boast with an achievement that isn't even theirs. The smell betrays how artificial the encounter is." A shudder went through her shoulders.

"I... I felt nothing wrong with what I used. Other than that I could not get your approval," she added shyly.

"Was fine," he said, wishing he had the strength to confirm it to her more adequately. She had managed not to hurt his feelings, a consideration he had not deserved after how he had treated her. No, the message could not wait. "Wand," he asked. Used to switching his wand hand at times, he managed to write down these thoughts in large letters of green goo on the bed sheet.

"I'm glad you see it like that, but now off with you to the sofa for this bed needs cleaning," she said, eyeing the murky substance suspiciously. "Evanesco!"

When they retired together in the evening, it did not feel as much like a sickbay anymore. She continued reading the book to him, and he coaxed her into his bed once again for the night, stroking her belly tenderly just because he could but without rising passion.

:*:*:*:

Wednesday after breakfast Severus demanded not for the first time an explanation on the no-kissing issue, but yet again Ginny dismissed the topic. "You will be furious one way or another and want to be able to move and speak and act freely," she told him. "I'm glad we are on speaking terms again. This can wait."

Later into the night, Ginny and Severus sat on the sofa regarding the little garden and the shabby Muggle quarter they lived in. It isn't anything to write home about, Ginny thought. The literal meaning of the expression brought tears to her eyes. Isolated as she was, everything would be worth writing into a letter home.

"Think... home?"

"Of my family, yes."

He held her tight with his left hand, while the right still needed some support from Ginny to stay at its place.

:*:*:*:

The days passed in quiet consensus. Severus tired rapidly now that he moved much more, and they kept up the massage...mutually at times...as well as the tissue healing potion and the nose ointment. Ginny had to brew them, since he did not trust his own reaction times yet. In parallel, Draco used the lab to provide the Death Eaters with their rations of healing or motivation potions. Together they also stocked up on remedies against the devastating Cruciatus curse and such simple things as a headache cure.

:*:*:*:

On Saturday, 10th January finally, Severus stood firmly and walked around in the house, albeit slowly as if under a fading Reflex-Lax. He was fully able to speak and to attend to his body.

Nott and the other man visited him to make a report on the Crimson-Orb spell, and Severus fell into the staccato-speech of days before. "Can't walk or move well yet. Spellpower almost full. Bored. Could use Ollivander... help... second wand," he told them while they noted down the strange measurements the Dark Lord had ordered them to take.

For a moment, Nott left the sitting room to help Ginny in the kitchen. He closed the door carefully and leaned against it, observing her. "How are you doing, Mrs Snape?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Mr Nott." Ginny answered nonchalantly while he scrutinised her.

"You are quite an actress, not unlike your mother. Did you and Severus have a talk? Have you clarified a few things?" he asked. She did not as much as look at him when she nodded, and he added in a strict tone, "I'm not taking a sloppy 'yes' for an answer, young lady. Have you explained matters to him?"

"Uh, ah, do you understand our problem, sir?"

"Indeed, I do. Draco has visited us frequently. I should have realized it immediately. I'm so sorry." His voice had dropped, and he really looked it. "You are to be commended that you noticed it in time! So, have you explained it?"

"Not yet, but he has been asking." Upon Mr Nott's questioning expression, she reasoned, "He is persistent, so he will ask again. I will tell him; of course, I will. Once he has enough body control and power to smash a dish on the wall, run away or... I don't know what he might wish to do, but something physical, I'm sure."

Tilting his head, Paul Nott considered this and nodded in agreement. "I'm very glad for you. You will find a remedy." He smiled and opened the door again.

When they left, Nott seemed very willing to agree to Severus' idea. "We'll bring Ollivander around first thing tomorrow morning, if this suits you." Severus nodded and bid them good bye.

In the afternoon, Severus started exercising in ways Ginny had never seen. He stretched and bent his body and worked his muscles. "Join me," he suggested and conjured another soft mat. Strange as this pastime was, they had an enjoyable afternoon and repeated the session the next morning. A competition in making wry faces with the ever-stern professor!

:*:*:*:

With the prospect of having a guest the next day, Severus once again brought up the subject of his concern after Saturday's lunch. "Ginevra, I want this kissing-ban explained before Mr Ollivander arrives. It has tortured me for too long. I am well enough recovered, and if you wait even longer, I will be on a mission before I ever know. Notice that I will use Legilimency before that happens."

She nodded and took a deep breath before she rushed off. "Umbridge made a terrible, terrible mistake in our binding. I noticed it last thing before you kissed me, and I just couldn't react more sensibly," she added, having his full attention. "She bound us not only to wizardry laws but also to our pure-blood traditions, remember? She sneered at you because you naturally don't have any. But Severus, I have! I told you we usually have fidelity charmed, lifelong binding weddings. That is what she did, she submitted us to that!"

Severus jerked his chair back best he could and looked down at her. "She's bound you not only for the next few years, but for as long as I live?"

"Severus, us. We could be bound. The traditional spell is the so called Stimufidelius. It manifests itself with the first kiss. It remains volatile until the fourth new moon after the wedding. If we don't kiss before that, we don't bind ourselves. We can do anything else, Severus but NOT KISS!"

He was flabbergasted. Has she behaved reasonably in the end? And yet, why has she? With all the vitriol he could currently add to his voice, he asked sharply, "But this is what you wanted? Second thoughts after all?"

Ginny didn't miss the harsh tone, but Severus had no power to frighten or intimidate her. "No, Severus, I did not," she answered purposefully calmly. "I do not want to trick you into anything unknowingly." She looked into his eyes, searching for understanding. When she saw a flicker of nervousness, she breathed, "Never unknowingly."

She waited for him to acknowledge her. He swallowed hard and nodded. "This alone would have stopped me from letting you kiss me."

"For four months, Ginevra? Our... relationship or whatever it was, was broken... no, I must correct, I broke our relationship within seconds, and had it not been for this Crimson-Orb spell, nothing would have changed for weeks to come!"

Ginny looked at him sadly. "Maybe not." She stood to get on level with his eyes. "Although shortly before the frigging Christmas invitation we were closer, weren't we? I was hoping several such occasions would have brought..."

"... me to my senses."

"... you around to finally ask and listen. And understand. Like you do now," she added, her eyes almost overflowing with tears. "Do you?"

Severus stood stock still. He had wronged her, and she wasn't accusing him, but asking him. Asking him for approval of her actions? "I... yes, I... you did right." He exhaled deeply. He had managed the closest to an approval he could. It wasn't an apology though.

"But Ginevra, the pain I submitted you to. I cannot remove the pain, ever. I can say I'm sorry, for I am, but... what good does it do?"

"It does loads of good, Severus! I have told you, I understood. You were pained as well. Bad circumstances that you would ask for a kiss again at the Mulcibers'." He huffed in frustration. How many such 'bad circumstances' could there have been? Each one would have driven them deeper down because of his stubbornness, his inability to ask for an explanation for her action. Until... somewhere mid March?

Severus took his time to analyse the news. "I have never heard of such a strange spell," he opined. "Kissing causes a binding, but... having sex without it does not."

"That was how Mum's great-grandmother defined the tradition. Times were hopelessly romantic. We children have indeed entertained the idea... I had never thought it possible," she murmured. Serious again, she raised her voice. "But Severus, there is a connection!" She pulled him out of his thoughts. "The kiss manifesting the spell stimulates a desire for physical love, for immediate consummation. I am not sure how strong, but we might not have made it to the foyer of the wedding hall or into hiding at the Mulcibers'. Imagine the humiliation. Anything was better than that." In a resigned way, she finished, "I should not have shrieked like a banshee, but I didn't have time to think more strategically."

Severus' face lost all colour. He turned to leave the room. He felt like running, but all he found himself able to do was tossing a chair at the wall where it hardly left a mark. At least a leg cracked. His inside was in turmoil, in pain, due to the injustice he had submitted her to.

Pacing from the sitting room to his bedroom, he forced himself to a speed that added physical pain to go with the mental one.

He shuddered at the thought of being lust-driven in a throng and was infinitely grateful for her attention. Why had he not trusted her? Would behaviours like this repeat themselves? Could he be a partner if he did not show more consideration, if he rushed into conclusions without asking? She had been more mature than he was. He felt agony in body and soul.

From the sitting room, Ginny observed him apprehensively. Now he stopped at the far end of the bedroom. He moved his hands to his temples, turned. Slowly, he looked up. Their eyes met, he was pleading for... absolution? Snapes don't plead, do they? She made a single careful step in his direction.

Exhausted, Severus widened his arms to welcome her in his embrace. It was all he could force his body to, and his mind didn't feel like being creative right now. What would she do?

Ginny made another step, and when his face lightened up, she rushed over and used her physical advantage to push them both on the bed.

Raising his head to avoid lip contact with her, Severus realised that she had saved him from falling from sheer exhaustion. And she did not withdraw. She held him, temple on his chest, allowed him to hold her. Both of them closed their eyes, concentrating on feeling the other, hearing their own breathing, although their faces had to be averted. With a minimum of caresses, they tended to each other's nerves. Minutes passed in the most peaceful silence.

Eventually Ginny looked up and realised that his cheek was wet. He had silently lost some tears. "I spoiled your special day, then I mistreated you in the worst way imaginable," he said hoarsely.

"Severus, Umbridge did that. She has the brains of the toad she resembles. Or she knew and was extra malevolent. One never finishes a wizard wedding with this stupid Muggle idea of kissing the bride. Certainly not one with fidelity traditions, but I cannot know if she knew about that; it is more of a Gryffindor-thing. I don't think she did that to the pure-blood couples. She mocked you."

Ginny pushed herself up to look at him. "You know her; you've worked close enough to her. If you had not created any reason for revenge in a whole year's time, I would be very disappointed with you."

He laughed heartily, and she held him close again. They snuggled comfortably. Pulling himself back just a little, Severus asked, "Can we truly do everything else but kiss?"

She stroked along his cheekbone. "Yes, everything. You've noticed this already."

A tentative smirk crossed his features when he asked mischievously, "Can we test it, my love? Right now, for example?" Ginny's heart lost a beat or two at the address. They certainly could, and they did so most thoroughly.

:*:*:*:

With her head on the place where his arm met his shoulders, Ginny stared up to the ceiling. "Severus?"

"Hush, don't disturb this moment," he mumbled, and she snuggled closer, carefully turning her head just a bit to not touch his chest with her lips.

A few minutes later, Severus asked, "What was it, Ginevra?"

"The kiss..." she started. "Now that it is clarified..."

"The Stimufidelius kiss... Ginevra, we should not, I cannot..."

"I accept," she interrupted him, not willing to endure an explanation she didn't want to hear. "I accept your reasoning. But I want to be with you...all through the night, I mean. Even when we can both move. We must not bring our lips into contact with any patch of the other's skin. At least this is what I think, from the story of my grandaunt's wedding... Anyway, long sleeves will do, maybe gloves. But our faces?"

Soon they perused his vast library with this strange problem. They found a lot of interesting spells and became creative in where to apply them. More than one would be usable for their purpose, but none appeared comfortable to apply every night for three long months.

:*:*:*:

:*:*:*:

I'm in eternal debt to Hollimel99, Jingjingchiquita and Angelika for their help as my betas!