Doubt

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR. Yes, I will say it every single time. No JKR, no Severus. Enough said. :)

I must, absolutely, must thank Ariadne. This chapter was tough on me to edit. May she continue to reread the last scene (and its alternate version, Entrance Hall) far too many times to be healthy. ;-)

Hermione fled the library, clamoring over the mass of exhausted books. She almost ran into a frantically worried Minerva, who had barely the time to get out of the way before Hermione left the rooms.

"Hermione! What?" Minerva asked, but Hermione was gone before she reached the second word.

Minerva was awestruck. The sitting room was in shambles, furniture strewn haphazardly, some with enough force to have been turned completely upside down and singed. A door was wedged halfway into the wall, where it looked to have flown at great speed. Stray bits of parchment floated on the breeze, slowly making their way to the floor.

She moved slowly over the wreckage towards a gaping hole that opened into what she could only assume was the Dark Arts library. Smoke traveled along the floor around the opening, evidence that a fire had been just extinguished.

"Severus?" Minerva said, her shocked eyes traveling over the ruins.

Anyone else would assume he was waiting for someone to join him if it hadn't been for his lack of proper clothing. Severus stood, leaning against a bookcase, one arm clutching his side. He twitched when he saw Minerva and quickly stood straight.

"Severus... what in the world happened?" Minerva asked, gesturing to both the destroyed library and his attire.

Severus scowled and carefully made his way towards her. "'Hermione' is what happened, Minerva."

Minerva nodded slowly and, with raised eyebrows, asked, "And I may correctly assume that you did not appreciate her perusal of the library?"

Severus shot her a glare as he stepped over the last of the books.

"No, Minerva, I did not."

Minerva motioned for him to follow her into the sitting room. As she walked, Minerva reassembled the sitting room, neatly placing the furniture back in their proper places, and removed the door from its horizontal position in the wall. Severus watched irritably as the books flew back into place in the library, the chains reattached, and the wall and door sealed themselves.

"Was that so difficult, Severus?" Minerva asked, taking a seat.

"Minerva, it wasn't about the books."

"Wasn't it?"

Severus crossed his arms. "No. Anything could have happened. You know as well as I what a collection of books like that is capable of."

Minerva leaned back in her chair, seemingly immune to his pacing back and forth. At any moment, she expected him to realize his state of undress.

"I see," she nodded. "So you expressed to her that you were concerned for her safety."

"Yes."

"Severus..."

"Minerva, I am not eleven."

"Severus, you forget that you resort to sharp language in the face of confrontation. I highly doubt she meant to do anything more than look," Minerva said quietly.

He paused, then sighed, "I don't know, Minerva. I just – when I thought that she could have possibly..."

"You love her," Minerva stated, fully expecting him to deny it in some way. She was pleasantly surprised to see him simply shrug.

"You are mortal, Severus. Admit it."

Severus spread his arms out, cataloging his numerous injuries. "I think that is plainly visible, Minerva."

"Yes, but you haven't bled like this."

He scowled, wrapping the bathrobe around himself tighter.

"No." Not in a long time.

"Severus, for this to work, you will need to work on your temper. I can see the two of you having quite spectacular quarrels with neither of you backing down."

"An understatement." He shook his head, refusing to reveal what Hermione had said to him.

"Take a piece of advice from an old witch, Severus. You know the reason behind your anger was concern for her well-being. Did you even tell her you were relieved to find her unharmed?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, thinking. He shrugged. "I might have omitted that part."

Minerva stood. "Apologize, Severus. Profusely. Preferably on your knees," she said, then glancing at his leg, she added with a grimace, "well, at least on one."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione stalked from the rooms, completely shocked by Severus' reaction. He had been so furious; he didn't even care if she was all right.

She walked randomly through the halls, unsure of her destination. Soon, she found herself in the dimly lit and thoroughly destroyed Entrance Hall. Filch had managed to clean up some, but the stairs were still in fragments, and the hourglasses stood with only their bases intact, the jewels and the glass missing. She settled on the stairs and placed her hands on her face, reconstructing the argument, thinking, playing through every possible outcome. Arriving at the conclusion that she was just as much at fault as he was, if not more.

"Hermione?"

Hermione looked up, and her face brightened into a smile. She rubbed her eyes and stood. "Hello, Ginny," she said, hugging her tightly.

Ginny stared around the Hall, then looked at her with concern. "Hermione, why are you in here crying – and what in the world has happened to the Entrance Hall?"

Placing her arm over her shoulder, Hermione said, "Oh, I have so much to tell you."

"Come on then; we can talk in the Great Hall. Ron, Mum and Dad are here too. McGonagall has called a meeting."

Hermione shared with her the events of the past few weeks, including her falling for Severus. She braced herself for Ginny's reaction, fearing that she would find her disgusting. Hermione was surprised to find that, although she at first looked a bit pale, Ginny only stroked her arm and listened quietly.

Hermione then described being trapped in the Dark Arts library just prior to seeing Ginny and concluded with Severus' reaction.

"I can't believe the way he acted. He said such nasty things to me."

Ginny rolled her eyes and said with a slight smile, "And this is different from his usual snarky self how?" Hermione allowed herself to smile and playfully smacked Ginny on the arm.

Before they could discuss this further, they were interrupted by Harry and Ron striding into the Great Hall, joking with each other. "Been looking for you all over, Ginny," Ron said sitting across the table from them.

"Hermione has just been telling me about everything that's been going on since... well, you know," Ginny said.

Everyone was quiet. Harry shot Hermione a look, then found the grooves in the table fascinating when she responded with a glare.

Ron said, "Oh, yeah, well... how is everything, then, Hermione?"

Hermione gave a warning look at Ginny and was happy to see that she gave her a slight wink, promising to not reveal what they had discussed.

Hermione relaxed for a moment until Harry said, "She's been hanging with Snape. She has...Oww! Ginny!"

Ron's eyes widened as his eyes scanned their faces. "What? What do you mean hanging with Snape? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Ron, it's..." Hermione started. The words caught in her throat as she saw him intently looking at her.

"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" Ron demanded.

Quickly, Ginny stood and said, "Harry. There is um – something I want to show you." She then grabbed Harry's hand and jerked him away from the table.

"You didn't have to kick me so hard..." Harry said in a loud whisper as they left the Great Hall.

Hermione sighed and said, "Well, you were bound to find out."

"Find out what, Hermione? Tell me!" Ron said, clearly becoming frustrated, his ears threatening to match his hair.

"Severus and I... well, we were, but not any more. Oh, I don't know." Hermione rambled.

"Hermione, would you just spit it out? Are you and Snape?" The look on Ron's face was a mix of hurt and revulsion.

"Yes, kind of..." she managed.

Ron looked down at the table, and Hermione heard him mutter, "Bloody hell..."

Looking up at her, he asked suspiciously, "Sure you're not under the Imperius?"

"Ron! Yes, I am sure I'm not under the Imperius Curse," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, but, Hermione... Snape?" Ron said, looking ill.

Hermione continued, telling him about the duels, Severus' Mark, her imprisonment in the Dark Arts library, and their fight. "All the man cared about was his books..."

Ron's eyes widened, and he stood, yelling, "Bloody hell, Hermione! Have you lost your mind?

Hermione stared at him in shock.

"What would make you go into a room with books like that alone? You know what could've happened to you! You're smart most of the time, but that was a stupid thing to do! Promise me you won't do things like that!" Ron continued to yell at her, his face reddening.

Hermione was shocked. Ron's reaction was almost exactly the same as Severus'. "I know, Ron. You don't need to yell at me!"

Ron blushed and, sitting back down, said, "I'm sorry, Hermione. Well, I just don't want you to get hurt. I – you know – care..."

A revelation struck Hermione.

Hermione placed her hand on his and said, "Thanks, Ron."

Neither of them saw a robed figure turn quickly and leave the Great Hall doorway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Let's settle down to business," Minerva announced.

Members of the Order took their seats, some watching Dumbledore's portrait pensively, willing him awake. Minerva sighed, hoping that Severus would attend. Some part of her knew his sense of responsibility would win out. It usually did.

Ron had started on his fourth biscuit when Molly said in a loud whisper, "Ronald! People will think we positively starve you!"

Hermione knew that several members of the Order still harbored doubts about Severus' loyalty. It was likely they would never trust him again, and his disposition did nothing to encourage inclusion or trust. Her eyes traveled around the room and rested on Remus and Tonks standing by the window, smiling and chatting. Hermione watched them and thought they looked like such a lovely couple.

"Now. Our first order of business..." Minerva started, but was interrupted by the office door opening. "Ah, Severus, thank you for joining us."

"Does the damn twinkle come with the position?" Severus thought, irritated by Minerva's knowing smile. Scowling, Severus' eyes scanned the room, flitting from face to face before taking a seat.

Hermione caught his eye for a second before he looked away with a bored expression.

Look at them there... Of course she prefers to be with them. You're just fooling yourself to think she would ever want to be with you...

"Now, as I was saying. As our first order of business, Severus has graciously agreed to coach Harry in his dueling skills. Severus? A report please?"

It's inconceivable... I simply refuse to apologize. She was wrong to disobey me. Anything could have happened...

"Severus? A report on Harry's progress?" Minerva asked again, grinning.

Severus was startled out of his thoughts, realizing that he had been staring at Hermione and that everyone's eyes were on him. Composing himself quickly, he stood. "Yes, of course."

Clearing his mind, Severus said, "Potter has managed to go from dismal to adequate at blocking most spells and casting the Cruciatus, but still has a major flaw. His mind is still wide open. The Dark Lord..."

"Say his name," Harry said quietly.

"Harry!" Ron whispered warningly, elbowing Harry.

Hermione's face held a startled look.

Severus turned to glare at Harry, his lip curling in a sneer.

Harry looked like he hadn't meant for Severus to hear him, but also like he didn't care. The room remained silent, hanging on every word.

"What did you say?" Severus growled as he moved towards him.

Harry rose slowly and matched Severus' glare. "You heard me. You're no longer a Death Eater. Say his name."

"Harry, please," Hermione pleaded, tugging on Harry's hand, telling him to sit.

"Harry, that is not important..." Minerva started, then trailed off when Severus raised his hand.

At the look on Severus' face, Ron looked like he wanted to flee the room. Hermione still held onto Harry's hand absently, worrying that he had pushed Severus too far.

After a long pause, Severus leaned closer and stared directly into Harry's eyes. In a low, vicious voice he said, "Voldemort."

Severus straightened slowly and then continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Potter has failed at Occlumency time and time again. He broadcasts his spells loudly enough that I don't even need to cast Legilimens. Voldemort," Severus said directly to Harry, "will surely prevail, regardless of any improved dueling skills Potter may manage to retain."

Minerva looked disappointed. "Severus, what would you suggest?"

He thought for a moment, then spoke to the room. "I believe there may be a possibility of developing a potion that could help."

Minerva brightened and, while motioning for Severus to continue, poured some more tea for herself. Severus moved around the room with his remaining limp and said thoughtfully, "If the potion is successful, it will enable the taker to control their emotions and it will enhance Occlumency skills. It would be no substitution for learning the skill, but it would enhance and greatly increase the chances of resistance."

Nodding as Severus returned to his seat, Minerva said, "Thank you, Severus." Her smile widened as she added, "I'm sure Hermione would love to be your assistant. Right, Hermione?"

Hermione looked surprised at first, then responded, "Of course." She glanced at Severus and caught him with what she thought was a hopeful expression before it slipped back to indifference.

"Excellent," Minerva said. She took some notes before continuing, "Remus, Harry? Any information on the Horcruxes?"

"Not too much yet," said Harry. "We think the heavy locket we found at Grimmauld Place is one. Of course, that may have been stolen by Dung already," he said, looking extremely angry.

Minerva turned to Remus. "Remus, would you and Tonks please go and see if you can locate the locket? Do not attempt to open it, of course; just bring it back here. We'll have Severus look it over for Dark Magic before we attempt to destroy it."

At Harry's impending objection, Minerva said, "Harry, we need you to stay here and train with Severus. I'm sure you'll do well. Agreed?"

Harry sat back, shooting a reproachful look at Severus, who glared back at him.

Choosing to ignore the fact that she received no response, after closing her notebook and folding her hands, Minerva said, "Excellent. If there is nothing else, we'll adjourn."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus left as soon as the meeting ended, descending the stairs and limping in as dignified a manner as possible towards the dungeons.

"Damn leg," he cursed under his breath. He heard footsteps catching up to him and knew exactly to whom they belonged, resenting how his heart sped up, betraying his strategy of cool indifference. His anger had not dissipated in the slightest.

"Leave me," he growled.

"Won't you allow me to apologize?"

Severus turned his head and slightly arched an eyebrow, but remained silent, turning a corner into the Entrance Hall. Most of the debris had been cleared, but most of the torchlight was still out, and the stairway remained in a state of ruin. Dark shadows cut through the Hall, leaving areas of deep, cold silence.

"Severus, I'm so sorry," she said and caught hold of his robes, hoping he'd stop. "I didn't mean what I said..."

Severus' swiftly turned and caught her wrist, drawing her to him, his expression unreadable. Hermione stared at his grip as he pulled her arm to his chest, just over his heart. Leaning closer, he said, in a tone meant to instill nothing less than cold fear, "If you haven't noticed, it is not in my nature to forgive easily. I am not a nice man. What you said to me is the utmost of insults, considering I warned you of the dangers in the interest of your safety. Remember this, Hermione; it is those who know the power of the Dark Arts that are in the best position to protect others. I have no intention of finding out what is the current price of innocence, least of all yours.

"A simple apology is hardly acceptable. You did more than simply spill something or bump into me. Much more."

"I just – for a second I thought you cared more about the books than me. I didn't mean what I said, Severus. After everything you've been through, you finally open up a little to someone, and this is what I do? I swear, I never doubted you. Please – I do love you."

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, pressing her forearm against himself.

Hermione felt him tighten his grip; his expression changed, quieted. He was thinking too much for her to feel comfortable.

"I'm supposed to be angry with you. It is a question of honor, you see," he said, lowering his head slightly, watching his own hand as he lifted each finger and repositioned them, aligning, planning. With a final sweeping glance around the Hall, he swiftly lowered her arm, shoved her shoulders to spin her around and pulled her back against him.

Hermione gasped in surprise, but was silenced by his hand over her mouth, pulling her head to rest on his shoulder as he backed them into a cool, deep shadow. He lowered his head, breathing against her neck, holding her arm behind her back. A draft from the doors swept the heat from her, reminding her exactly how fast the man behind her could instill both fear and desire.

Feeling a chill pass down her spine, she said distractedly, "I'm angry with you too."

A deep, rumbling chuckle. Not in the least amused. More like pleasure at watching prey struggle. Enjoying the power. Establishing rules without a single word.

He moved his free hand from her shoulder, splayed his fingers across her chest and pressed her against him. Slowly, he moved his mouth up against her ear. Lingering there. She could feel his lips. Painfully close. Moving his face into her hair, knowing that every movement drove her senses further to the fine edge of control.

"Do you honestly think your anger threatens me?" He was moving his hand upwards, tracing her collarbone, holding her jaw. Increasing the pressure just slightly.

"No."

Severus grinned into her hair.

She shifted, and her arm immediately twisted harder.

Hermione hadn't noticed that she had her nails dug into his thigh, flexing her grip whenever he moved. Each time he ventured further, she squeezed harder, giving a signal to keep going – don't stop to ask.

When he moved her hair and kissed her neck in the gentlest of ways, she moaned. In response, he loosened his grip on her arm slightly, lowering it the slightest amount.

"Is that a request?" He was smiling, his cheek against hers as he rested his head on her shoulder.

She shook her head: not here.

"Oh, no, never here. Never," he murmured, enjoying how she stiffened with the knowledge that he had read her thoughts.

Silence. He was waiting. Listening.

He loosened his grip again, her hand now held behind her back by little more than fingertips.

"A request? Or a prayer?" he asked, letting her hand go.

She stood, leaning against him, her head down, heart beating hard enough that he must know; it could surely be felt anywhere he touched her.

"Yes." Nothing more than a whisper. Perhaps not even spoken aloud.

A small rush of breath told her he found this amusing. His hand traveled down her arm to where she was clutching his thigh to the point of causing him tremors.

"Nervous?"

"No." Yes, terrified.

"Interesting," he murmured, twisting her hand from his thigh, his other hand moving along her back. Lightly, barely touching, making her long for that touch to return, aching for it. She tried to lean into him again, but he moved away, slightly, just enough to keep her within range to feel the heat from him, to want that touch, to keep her thoughts spiraling hopelessly away from the relentlessly academic paths. Fascinating.

He held her hands and leaned forward, pressing his chest against her back, resting his chin on her head. In a philosophical tone, he mused, "There is something to be said for anticipation, Hermione. Don't you agree?"

He felt her drop her chin.

Releasing her hands, he took hold of his robes and raised them up. Slowly, he wrapped his robes around her, his hands clasped on her opposite shoulders.

Moving to speak into her ear again, he relished the time he took to take that first breath. How she shuddered, almost trembling while waiting. "It raises the level of arousal, I believe. This is something that should be entered into with the utmost attention to detail. One should accept nothing less, yes?"

Hermione leaned her cheek against his arm and nodded.

"The knowledge that something may happen, something out of your control, something potentially dangerous. Do you enjoy danger, Hermione?" he asked, dropping his voice lower. He gripped her shoulders before he let his hands drop.

Shaking his hands free of his robes, he reached up and, in one movement, turned her around and pulled her into an embrace. She had no time to react before she was crushed up against him, the heat, him, taking her lips to his, viciously at first, claiming her, proving his power. He took her hand in his and interlaced their fingers.

"Do you doubt me?" he growled, biting into her shoulder.

She couldn't breathe, her attempts too hard or too fast. "No."

"Prove it."

"Severus, I..." she started, looking up into his eyes, which were watching her, waiting. She then took their joined hands and pressed them over her heart, looking into his intense gaze. "Feel. Listen."

He stood, on the edge of both sending her away and holding her close, looking into her eyes, listening with his mind.

Severus heard her thoughts without effort. It was unlike any other time he had practiced Legilimency – his target had always railed against him, fighting, had never been willing like this, offering up, granting permission. He felt her remorse, loss, fear, understanding and most importantly, love.

Hermione ran her free hand over his, watching his expression change from confusion and disbelief at first, then moving towards acceptance.

"Can you see?" she whispered, knowing he could already feel.

Distractedly, he breathed, "Yes."

A sigh, a release of tension. She noticed that he was breathing nearly as hard as she was.

"Intimidation?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Works wonders," she said breathlessly as she reached up and tucked his hair behind one ear.

He quirked a smile. "Wonders, indeed."

Hermione rested her forehead on his and sighed.

"It was still a stupid thing to do. Do you understand..."

She interrupted him. "I know, never again."

He moved his head slightly against hers and closed his eyes before straightening. Severus let his eyes wander the Hall, taking in the colossal mess he and Potter had created, taking particular pleasure in the complete eradication of the Gryffindor hourglass.

"Would you like to take points, Professor Snape?" Hermione asked, searching his face, hoping to lighten the mood. "Oh, wait..." she said in mock surprise. "It's not like you can, considering you destroyed the Gryffindor hourglass."

Suddenly, Severus started to laugh.

Hermione was astonished at the sight of him laughing. He looks so beautiful without some sort of angry expression on his face.

"Now that," he said, fighting another wave of laughter, "that was an accident."

Curiosity got the better of her. "If it was an accident, why is it so amusing?"

Waving his hand dismissively, Severus admitted, "Perhaps – it was not entirely an accident."

At her gasp, he added quickly, "Potter started it."

"You sound like a five-year-old that's been caught being bad," Hermione teased, fighting to keep a smile from her face.

"Going to tell, are you?" he asked, teasing her.

"Never," Hermione said and made a show of placing her hand over her heart.

Severus' gaze traveled to the hole in the ceiling, edges hanging in tatters, swinging on the slight evening breeze from the broken front doors. "McGonagall did make me realize something. That and my near obsessive need to be proper drive me to do this. Are you prepared?"

Hermione laughed, but another part of her was instantly wary. "After what happened just now? I'm ready for anything."

With great effort, Severus lowered himself to one knee and said seriously, while looking into her shocked face, "I apologize. Even though I was reacting out of frustration, knowing something could have happened to you, it was no excuse for speaking to you that way. I find myself unable to bear the thought of losing you."

Smirking at her surprised expression, he said, "Forgiven?"

"Yes, I do forgive you; now please get up," Hermione said, looking embarrassed. "You're going to ruin your leg."

"As you wish," Severus said, rising and kissing her deeply.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tonks turned to Remus with a shocked expression on her face. Watching as Severus and Hermione walked off towards the dungeons, she gasped, "Did you see what I just saw?"

Distracted, Remus stared at them as they disappeared. "I think we just saw Severus propose to Hermione..."