The Best I Can Do

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR, and rightly so.

AN: Just when you think it's safe. ;-) Thanks to Ariadne, my invaluable comma fairy.

"Good morning," Hermione said, sensing the strained atmosphere in the room.

"Ah, Hermione, I was just about to leave. Severus and I were just discussing Harry's progress and an agreed reduction in the level of violence," Minerva said with a glance at Severus, who had found something interesting to stare at across the room.

"Oh, I'm sure that won't be a problem, will it, Severus?" Hermione asked expectantly.

Ignoring Severus' lack of a response, Minerva rose to leave, saying, "Excellent. Until tonight."

Severus rose from his chair and, ignoring the cane, dragged his leg as he moved over to the window. The pain in his leg was nothing compared to his Mark burning over and over for most of the night. A chill ran through him at the thought of what Draco faced having failed at his task. Something else was also on his mind as a reason to not heed the call and...

"Severus?"

Brought out of his thoughts, he turned his head slightly. "Yes?"

Hermione approached and stood by his side, sharing his view. She had found, from watching him over time, that there were different levels to his irritation. There was his usual disdain of general stupidity and then another, which was more the result of contemplating something terrible. Only a trained eye could tell the difference.

"Your conversation with McGonagall – it wasn't just about Harry, was it?" she asked.

A somber grin appeared on his face as he turned his head just enough to allow some view of his face. "Nothing that you need to be concerned about."

"I'd think that your leaving would concern me," Hermione said seriously.

If he was surprised, he gave no indication other than a slightly interested expression.

"Your Mark," she said, gesturing towards his sleeve, "I came to check on you last night and it was darker. As if it..."

"Burned? Yes, that is what it does," he said with disgust.

"Severus, the Order needs your intelligence and skill, and Harry needs you to help him train. Voldemort will surely kill you now. You've done enough."

Raising a hand, he said, "You can save the speech, Hermione. Minerva has already delivered the same sentiments quite convincingly."

Hermione stepped in front of him and looked into his eyes. His expression was one of deep conflict.

"What, exactly, am I to do? The wizarding world will never accept me, and I cannot teach here. My only purpose was being a spy for Dumbledore – and now..."

"Your purpose is to send Harry out of these doors as prepared as you can, so when he defeats Voldemort, it is a victory for all of us, including you. Your knowledge and talent bring you far greater worth than you imagine. You're not just a spy," she pleaded, careful of pushing too hard and touching the anger running just under the surface. "If you haven't noticed, there are some people around that do care for you."

Hermione noticed that his expression softened slightly.

"No matter how much of a snarky bastard you aspire to be," she added with a faint smile.

He snorted, saying, "So my job is to bounce Potter around, is it?"

"No, not exactly. Let's at least try to keep the bloodshed to a minimum, hmm?"

"If I must," he relented with a faint smirk. After a few moments, he broke the silence, "Why?"

Thrown off by his sudden question, she hesitated. She knew what he what he was asking, even though he wouldn't form the words. A nervous laugh escaped her before she found her voice. "I have to admit, I had a crush on you like some of the other girls."

"Crush? On me? Preposterous," he said, clearly stunned.

"Yes. A crush. Now, if I may continue?" she said irritably.

He scowled at her admonishment, but motioned for her to continue.

"After a while, I simply admired your intelligence. Men my age just aren't mature enough, and no one has ever shared my love for knowledge quite like you. I often am surrounded by friends, but feel very alone. I love Harry and Ron, but they are just not anything like me. I knew you were risking your life spying for the Order, and not being recognized for your sacrifices, least of all by Harry. Then when you killed Dumbledore..." she stopped, then, looking away, continued slowly, "I held out hope that you had a reason. It couldn't be that you would turn like that, so when we saw the debt recorded in the Pensieve, I understood."

She looked down at her hands for a moment before saying, "When I saw you outside..."

Her voice broke both at remembering that night and pouring out her feelings to him.

"Minerva told me," he said, still in disbelief that anyone would become emotional over him.

"Finding you there like that, I realized what I felt was real. I do care for you. It's an attraction that I can't explain. If you leave and something happens..."

Severus was stunned to find anyone looking at him with such concern. He remained frozen, even as she stepped closer and tucked her head under his. He was surprised at himself for allowing someone to come close enough to prevent him from doing anything. Only days before he would have swept outside the castle gates and Apparated to the Dark Lord without a thought, his life worth no more than his value as a spy. But now? Part of him resented being tied down, influenced or controlled by anything.

The other part wanted to bolt for the door.

"Promise me you won't go?" she asked, resting her head on his chest.

When he didn't respond, Hermione looked up at him and repeated sternly, "Promise me."

"Hermione, I..." he began, but trailed off at the sight of her gazing at him with such hope.

He took one of her hands and said, "I'll do what I can."

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"Severus, if I may have a word?" Minerva called, waving Severus over to her.

He moved reluctantly, scowling at the prospect of yet another lecture on just how precious and delicate Potter was.

"Severus, please remember what we discussed earlier? I don't want to see a repeat of yesterday," Minerva stated, looking at him over her glasses with an expression indicating that she clearly expected his obedience.

"Minerva, the answer to that lies in Potter's hands. If he can block my spells, he will be fine. If he fails – well, he will learn quickly, won't he?" he explained to the worried witch.

And you won't have to see it.

Severus' eyes tracked Harry as he entered with Lupin.

Without looking back at her, he said, "I will do my best."

"Potter, Lupin," he said, nodding at each slightly with a sneer. Harry only narrowed his eyes in response.

"Mr. Potter, tonight the headmistress requests that there be less bloodshed. That, however, will depend entirely on you. You will work on blocking my spells and keeping me out of your mind. Remember, Potter. Leave your emotions aside. You may hate me, but that is only an open invitation."

Severus enjoyed watching Harry grind his teeth before adding, "Oh, and Potter? Not. One. Word."

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Hermione approached Minerva and said, "Professor, I'm worried that Severus may try to spy against Voldemort again. I saw the brand. Voldemort is calling him. I tried to convince him that he is needed here, but I don't know," Hermione said sadly. "What can we do?"

Minerva looked defeated and, while watching Severus obviously trying to terrorize Harry, said, "I don't know, Hermione. I cannot stop him, short of locking him up." Raising a locket she wore, she said, "I would know if he left. This will tell me if anyone leaves the castle. We would then have to try to prevent him from getting to the gates."

Hermione watched as Harry and Severus separated to a respectable dueling distance.

"It's time," Minerva said, looking at a worried Hermione. Placing a hand on her shoulder, she said, "He cannot be prevented. We need to convince him that he has a place within the Order without being a spy. I believe you can help him there, yes?"

Hermione nodded sadly.

Minerva moved into the middle of the room and glanced nervously between Harry and Severus. "If you're ready? Begin!"

Harry held his wand out, awaiting Severus' first move. Severus, however, simply stared at him, his wand at his side. Silence stretched out as Harry nervously shifted his weight from side to side. Just as an expression of confusion passed across Harry's face, Severus raised his arms high and made a slashing motion, as if cutting an orchestra silent. He then quirked a grin as a cold wind swept through the hall, extinguishing all of the torches. Only moonlight illuminated one end of the hall.

"Severus!" Minerva cried in the darkness.

Harry could barely see Severus approaching with his wand raised. Then he was gone.

The only sound was Severus' low voice laughing softly. "Not so brave in the dark, are we?"

Harry swung around, trying to locate Severus by the sound of his voice.

Severus seemed to be circling him like some great cat, moving silently, even while half-dragging his injured leg. Harry cast Lumos to see and was immediately slammed sideways, landing hard on his shoulder and getting the air knocked out of him.

Severus stood in the dark and could sense Harry climbing back to his feet, breathing hard. The aura of strained magic around Harry made him easy to track, even in total darkness. Severus quietly moved to stand behind him, enjoying the rising panic rolling off of Potter as he searched the emptiness.

"Looking for something?" Severus asked politely, as he circled to stand directly in front of Harry.

Swiftly, he stepped forward, grabbed hold of Harry's robes and, by the light of his wand, stared directly into his eyes. Whispering, "Legilimens," Severus easily moved into Harry's mind and was first struck by an amazing amount of hatred towards him. He saw the inside of a cupboard filled with spiders, himself giving his famous first-year's Potions speech, catching the Snitch in a game of Quidditch, the Yule Ball, Hermione smiling at him...

"NO!" Harry screamed and roughly pushed Severus out.

"That showed effort, but too late, Potter," Severus sneered from behind.

Harry twisted around quickly, daring to cast Lumos again to bring light between them.

Harry only had time enough to register that Severus had moved his wand hand. Bright red light exploded between them for a split-second in time before it shot sideways, rebounded off the wall and out into the other half of the hall, bouncing along the floor.

"Interesting," Severus commented in an amused voice. "Listen to me, Potter. It is time. Do everything you can to take me down. I will not stop until you do, is that clear?"

Without pause, Severus threw a Stunner, which Harry blocked while practically running backwards before falling. The spell spiraled out in a wild arc, lighting the floor as it traveled. It disappeared out of sight, and then the loud, crashing sound of shattered glass falling answered the question as to where it went.

Severus kept advancing, throwing spell after spell as Harry struggled to get to his feet. Bolts of light flew out at all angles, flashing like indoor lightning strikes. Glass shattered along the walls, stone exploded, and the heavy crack of wood splintering could be heard as spells hit tables too close to be safe. Harry was wildly waving his wand arm, trying to keep up. Severus could only see Potter for fractions of time whenever the light of his deflected magic lit up the area around them. He threw all varieties of spells and at least one attempt at Legilimency, all of which Harry blocked successfully. His leg ached badly, but held, allowing him to keep a terrifying pace, eventually driving Potter into the moonlight.

Suddenly in mid-cast, Severus gripped his forearm tightly, hissing in pain and dropping to one knee. Harry took the advantage and quickly advanced on Severus, who looked up with teeth bared in pain and his eyes blazing. Before Severus could recover, Harry silently disarmed him.

After taking a deep breath, Severus slowly rose to his feet. His left hand twisted into a tight fist and shook badly.

"Very good, Potter," he said in a tight voice. He nodded and then turned to walk away.

After a few moments, Hermione turned and felt panic strike her heart when she didn't see Severus anywhere.

Her eyes shot to Minerva, who was already looking at her with shock on her face.

Minerva's hand gripped the locket.

"He's gone."