Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and most of the wit and some of the plot belong to William Shakespeare.

Snape made his way over to the bar wondering why the bloody hell he was still at this birthday party. He didn't even particularly like the Lovegood chit, and the leather pants were beginning to chafe. At least the girl's father had the foresight to include an open bar in the rental agreement. Snape intended to take advantage of it, drinking shots of Firewhisky until Minerva finally loosened the leash and allowed him to leave.

Speak of the banshee, he thought as the Headmistress made her way to him.

"What on earth did you say to Hermione?" she asked. "She is quite bothered by your comments. Really, Severus, do you have to wrong her every time you speak to her?"

"Wrong her? She's the one insulting me!" Snape said indignantly. "She stood there, thinking she was talking to someone else, and threw barbs at me. And they hurt. She is not the only one with feelings."

"Are you sulking?" she asked with a small smile.

"If her breath were as horrid as her words, there would be no standing near her," he continued, ignoring her.

"Don't be petulant, Severus. You'll ruin your image."

He turned to glare at her, but before he could snap back, she gave him a wide grin as she looked over his shoulder. "Oh look! Here she comes," she said in a voice he thought was just a little too happy.

"I beg of you, Minerva. If you have a heart in you, you will release me from this horrid obligation and allow me to leave. I would rather face a month of detentions with first year Gryffindors rather than be forced to stay and speak to that harpy!"

He turned around with intent of storming out, only to find himself face to face with said harpy, who was rolling her eyes.

"As if I came to speak to you, Snape," Hermione said with attitude.

"You knew it was me?"

"Of course," she said with a smirk. "Do you really think me stupid enough not to notice the charms?"

Having had enough of her tongue, he glared at both women before storming off toward the exit.

"Was it something I said?" Hermione asked Minerva innocently as she watched the retreating figure of Snape.

Minerva sighed. "I do believe you have injured his pride with your slurs, Hermione."

"If I hadn't struck first, then he would have done the same to me, without mercy, as he had countless times before."

Before Minerva could counter, the music suddenly stopped, and the clinking of glass demanded everyone's attention. The women turned to the center of the room, which had cleared except for Ron and Luna. Hermione studied the couple before her. Luna really was a better match for Ron that she ever was. Hermione and Ron had had a short-lived tryst that lasted all of three months before they conceded that best friends didn't always translate into great lovers. Ron wanted what his parents had. Hermione was not interested in marriage or children then, or now. Her sights were set on her career, and she wasn't in a rush for so-called domestic bliss. That's why Luna was a better choice for Ron. They seemed to want the same thing and were happy together; Hermione was pleased for them.

So, it was no shock then to watch as Ron professed his love to Luna before their families and friends and asked her to marry him. Nor was she surprised that Luna immediately gave a breathy "Yes" in response. Hermione cheered with the rest of the crowd. While it wasn't a path in life she was ready for, she would support this couple, just as she did Harry and Ginny. Seeing her friends happy was really all that mattered. After offering her sincere congratulations to the couple, she made her way to the bar, definitely ready for a stiff drink.

"And there goes another into wedded bliss." She raised her glass in salute to no one in particular before downing the Firewhisky, fighting not to make a face. She never was one for such strong libations, but it didn't stop her from requesting another shot from the barkeep as Remus appeared next to her, sent to get a red currant rum for Tonks.

Hermione nodded to her friend, who was dressed as the Woodsman. "Not playing the Big Bad Wolf tonight?"

"I do that often enough," he said with a shrug. "I thought I'd try something different tonight. I'm the guy who gets the girl."

Hermione decided not to point out that girl was the operative word in that sentence. Apparently Tonks had told him a slightly modified version of the tale. Who was she to ruin his fantasy?

"But you already have the girl," she said nodding toward Tonks who was oohing over Luna's new ring. "I suppose it is just a matter of time before you and Tonks get hitched. Why haven't you asked yet?"

Remus gave her a conspiratorial grin. "I was going to do so tonight after the party, but now with this," he gestured toward Ron and Luna, "I think I'll wait. But soon. Very soon."

She smiled at him. He had always been someone she liked and respected, and, given his difficult life, she would not begrudge him a single moment of happiness. She only hoped that her research would pay off one day and that his lycanthropy would be nothing more than a bad memory.

"But what about you?" he asked. "Any prospects in your future, or are you still anti-marriage?"

"I am not against marriage, in general," she clarified. "I think people do stupid, spontaneous things after a war, and marriage is one of them. So many people are looking to recreate a sense of family that was lost to war that they give themselves over the illusions of solid bonds and a life of stability. I just don't see the need to rush into it. I want to establish my career before I even consider settling down."

Remus looked at her sadly. "Who else was there, Hermione?"

"I beg your pardon?" She had the odd date now and then – after all, she may have been anti-commitment, but she was no nun – but she didn't know what Remus was going on about.

"I know your relationship with Ron didn't live up to your expectations –"

"That was a mutual conclusion – "

"And certainly Krum didn't make you this bitter," he continued, ignoring her interruption.

"I am not bitter; I am just practical," she asserted. "And really! Why must a man or his actions be the reasoning behind my decisions? Couldn't a woman my age simply decide not to marry yet? I see no reason to rush into anything. I've spent so many years focusing on the war, and now, for the first time, I can focus on me and my own goals, like keeping you from going furry every month."

She really liked Remus, but, sometimes, he was just as bad as the others. She figured that as advanced as the wizarding world may be in some areas, others – such as views on single, career-oriented woman – seem to be decades behind Muggles.

"You really are something," he said.

She couldn't identify the tone in his voice, so she simply spoke her mind. "I won't apologize for my life decisions or my feelings."

"I would never expect anything different," he said soothingly. "I meant my prior remark as a compliment, not a judgment. It is your life, and you must live it as you see fit."

"Thank you," she said softly, leaning over to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek before excusing herself.

Remus carried a tray full of drinks back to the table where Tonks, Minerva, Harry and Ginny sat. He gestured toward Hermione who was exiting the ballroom. "She can't stand to hear talk of love and marriage, can she?"

"Not in the least," said Harry. "Sometimes, I think she is just too smart for her own good. She'll never let her emotions rule over her logic. And love is nothing if not illogical."

"Hey!" Ginny said, elbowing her husband.

"I didn't mean it like that, Gin," Harry started apologizing, but she let him off with a laugh.

"You know," she said conspiratorially to those at the table. "She and Snape really would make an excellent couple. They deserve each other actually."

"You may be on to something there, Ginevra." Minerva agreed. "They both look so happy when they are taunting each other."

"Please," Remus said with a laugh. "Within a week of dating, they would die of blood loss from their barbs or else drive each other mad."

"Or end up shagging like Kneazles," Tonks offered as the occupants of the table dissolved into laughter.

As the laughter died down, there was a glint in Ginny's eyes. She surveyed her companions and grinned wickedly.

"I say we undertake a challenge far greater than just trying to get Hermione to date," she said. "We should play matchmaker for her and Severus!"

Harry looked a little ill at thought. "They will never agree," he said in a way that sounded as if he was trying to reassure himself more than anything.

"No, not if we approached them outright," Tonks said, joining Ginny in plotting. "However, there is no denying all that jesting is just another form of their sexual tension."

Harry blanched but his objections were overruled as his friends considered the situation.

"But if we just nudged them along," Minerva suggested, "we could make them think they were coming to their own epiphanies and finally see what it is we all know."

"Do you really mean to play cupid?" Harry looked at them as if they had gone mad. "Hermione will hex you into next week if she finds out."

"She won't find out, will she, though, Harry?" Ginny looked at him pointedly.

Harry looked to Remus for support, but Remus just shrugged.

"It's as Shakespeare said, Harry," Remus told him. "Some cupids kill with arrows, others with traps."

Author's Notes: Any of the biting wit that you may recognize are lines inspired by/modified from Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing."

Many thanks to Zafania and Tjwritter, who suffered through the first draft, and to Logical Quirk, who made sure I didn't make more mistakes.