Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapters! Comments are always appreciated, but since the story's chief descriptor so far has been 'confusing,' I thought I should clear a few things up. This story is the second in a series of mystery/romances that involve the Moody/OC pairing. It's not necessary to read the first to understand this one, but the first hinted at an SS/HG relationship when Polyxena saw the two snogging in a corridor one evening. Moody later saw a 'tearful Hermione' and a 'brooding, angry Snape' in the Great Hall and caught Snape at Spinner's End with Narcissa. Severus and Hermione worked on Potions together that year, which the second chapter of this story flashes back to, but Snape was 'sexually ambushed' by Narcissa, a scene which Hermione walked in on. Now she's angry, and he's defensive. Whew... Hope that clears up the confusion. Sorry about that!

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"Stolen it?" repeated Polyxena, aghast. "What sort of person would steal things from Order headquarters?"

"Why don't you ask Mundungus?" snarled Harry. "HE WAS NICKING SIRIUS' STUFF!" Harry still hadn't quite gotten over the indignity of having a member of the Order ransack his godfather's house.

Surprisingly to all of them, but especially to Potter, Polyxena and Moody both laughed. "Dung," growled Moody. "Of course. Well, then it shouldn't be too much trouble getting it back. Even if he's sold it, he would remember what happened to it."

"Dung," Polyxena repeated with a slight chuckle. "At least he's gotten himself out of Azkaban. He's lucky the Ministry have bigger fish to fry. Impersonating an Inferius, I ask you... "

"Gotta scrape a living, P'lyx'na," muttered Mad-Eye in what was really a very passable imitation. "Someone had better Floo him. Polyxena, you do it; he's taken quite a liking to you."

Polyxena nodded and hurried off to the fire they used for Floo communications. "Quite a liking, indeed," she tossed casually over her shoulder. "If I was a hag, you'd have some real competition."

With a confused look, Ron spoke around a mouthful of porridge. "What's so important about finding the locket Horcrux now? It hasn't got anything to do with Regulus' kid, has it?"

Snape and Hermione simultaneously fixed him with the same withering, condescending stare, but Severus was the first to speak:

"The locket represents a piece of the Dark Lord's soul. If we are unable to destroy it, he can't possibly be killed. Honestly, Weasley, where have you been for the past three months?"

"And besides that," Hermione broke in, "anything that brings us closer to details on Regulus is worth looking into, don't you agree? The more we investigate that period of his life, the more chance we have of discovering who his lover was."

Indignantly, Ron opened his full mouth, but before he could respond, Polyxena reentered the kitchen, trailed by the smell of stale spirits and acrid tobacco smoke that clung to Mundungus Fletcher. She had thrown a friendly arm over his tweed-clad shoulders and led him straight to a place beside Moody at the long table.

"Slytherin's locket," growled Alastor. "Any idea where it might be, Dung?"

"Slytherin's locket?" repeated Mundungus, the skin around his bloodshot eyes stretched wide. "I never saw nothin' like that." He took a swig from a bottle concealed within a brown paper bag. "Wish I 'ad, though. I'd've been fuckin' every hag in 'Ogsmeade if I 'ad that kind of gold."

Harry glowered at him from behind his glasses. "You know where it is. You nicked all my stuff after Sirius died."

Amazingly, Dung had the grace to blush. "Well, y' see, 'Arry, 's nothin' t' get all outta your cauldron about. Th' goblets an' that shit, Sirius 'ated it anyway. An' there was a locket, if I r'member, but I don't think Slytherin's. Dunno, never could manage t' pry it open."

"Yes, yes, but what happened to it?" interrupted Hermione impatiently. Unconsciously, she had leaned halfway over the table and was gripping the beech planks tightly in her hands.

"I'm gettin' t' that!" Dung waved a filthy, fingerless-gloved hand. "Sold it t' old Abe last fall. When I went down t' Knockturn t' see 'bout th' special Darks, them wands that gave P'lyx'na an' Mad-Eye all that trouble, an' th' son of a Bludger comes up t' me an' says 'Dung, that locket y' sold me last week's got a hex on it like a motherfucking Doxy in heat.' An' so I says t' him, I says, 'Go fuck a goat, Abe, it's what y' do best.' An' he's castin' th' Engorgement Charm left an' right an' center. Back then y' see, m' Healer wasn't too keen on my gettin' hit with that; I'd taken too many in a very sensitive area, y' see, but I went back last week, an' old Smethwyk says... "

"We get the picture," interrupted Polyxena hastily. "So Abe has the locket? Who the hell is he?"

Snape quirked a brow. "I assume he's referring to Aberforth Dumbledore, the barman of the Hog's Head. It's well known that he's possessed of a certain, shall we say, fondness for goats."

"A hex would make a lot of sense," interjected Harry. "When Dumbledore found Marvolo's ring, he nearly cursed his hand off destroying the Horcrux. So the locket definitely would have had a curse like a, um, 'motherfucking Doxy in heat.'"

"Does Abe still have the locket?" growled Moody.

"'S far as I know," Dung grunted after a deep swig of Ogden's. "But y' know we don't get along too well. 'E threw me outta 'is pub for a little indecent exposure twenty years back. An' when I say little," he added, "Don' think I'm talking 'bout m' privates on account of they're nothin' t' be ashamed of."

"Of course not," replied Polyxena with studied patience. "So. So. It looks as though we've a trip to Hogsmeade ahead of us."

"What do you mean by 'we' and 'us'?" Hermione queried with furrowed brow. "We can't all of us go."

Moody trained his magical eye on Polyxena. "No, we certainly can't," he put in sternly. "It ought to just be the ones trained for this sort of thing."

Snape arched a dark brow. "Indeed. I should go, knowing what I do about the Dark Lord, and Moody, of course. Any more of us would be rather too conspicuous."

At once, the table teetered dangerously as both Hermione and Polyxena leapt from their places, affronted. "I beg your bloody pardon, Alastor Moody?" snapped Polyxena. "The way I remember it, you were quite keen to drag me around the countryside last fall. You remember the time I was taken by Voldemort and lived, don't you?"

"You're not going," Moody growled gruffly. "End of story."

Edging away from Polyxena, who was about thirty seconds away from spitting fire, Hermione spoke up, "Don't be ridiculous. The pair of you--Moody and Snape, that is--can't stand each other, and, more to the point, I think we'd all like an equal chance at solving this. Harry has a right to go, being the one Dumbledore entrusted to find the Horcruxes and all. Polyxena ought to have a chance if she's used to this sort of thing. Tonks is an Auror; Remus is brilliant in Defense Against the Dark Arts; Moody is the best Auror the Ministry ever had; Ron and I are both experienced in solving things with Harry; and Severus knows Voldemort best. But I stand by what I said before: we can't all go. Why don't we just try a Random Selection Spell?"

Snape's thin lip curled at her. "This is a bit too important to be drawing names out of a hat. We're not selling raffle tickets; we're saving the Order from the Dark Lord."

"I'm going," hissed Polyxena in a low, dangerous, sibilant voice. "If Alastor's going, then I'm going to go. End of story."

Taking a sip of his tea, Remus said placidly, "Well, I can't go. I'm still being hunted by Greyback. And, Severus, every Death Eater in the country is after you. Neither of us is able leave this house, much less go after Voldemort's soul."

"And I've got my duties at the Ministry," spoke up Tonks, much to Lupin's relief. "I've been reassigned to track Nott."

"Harry and I are set to go to Godric's Hollow," Ron reminded her. "It's better you and Moody and Polyxena go."

Polyxena beamed. "Very well. That's settled, then. When would you like to lea... "

"No," snarled Alastor. "You're staying here, at headquarters. I won't even have you going back to the house. Finding a wandmaker among a bunch of Squibs is one thing, but trying to destroy a fragment of You-Know-Who's soul and find an illegitimate Black is another. It's too damned dangerous."

"Your idiocy never fails to astound me, Remus," spoke up Snape. "Would you have me stay here and my knowledge of the Death Eaters be wasted? I, the half-blood Prince! No, you're forgetting how well I knew Regulus when he died."

"Too damned dangerous, indeed," Polyxena burst out, voice rising to a shriek. "You think I want to sit in this bloody house while you go off and get yourself killed? What sort of person do you take me for, Alastor? I'm already not a member of the Order; would you have me do nothing to help?"

"Yeah," agreed Moody. "Yeah, that sounds about right. You've done enough already."

"I'd better go," muttered Dung. "After all, I know who's got th' locket an' that."

Waving an idle hand, Snape replied distractedly, "Fine, fine, if you feel you must, but I shall also be accompanying you."

"Aren't you a bit worried about the Death Eaters?" replied Tonks with knitted brows. "After all, you betrayed You-Know-Who in the worst way possible. He'd like to kill you about as much he'd like to kill Harry."

Snape shrugged; Hermione tapped a finger against her chin. "Right then. So it'll be me, Severus, Mad-Eye, Mundungus, and Polyxena."

"Not Polyx... "

"I think that about covers it," replied Polyxena sweetly. "I'll go pack, shall I?"

"Petrificus Totalus!" A bolt of light shot from the end of Moody's wand and froze Polyxena in place.

"Oh, that's horrible!" exclaimed Tonks. "She'll kill you when that curse wears off."

"'S'pect so," Dung concurred. "Y' know 'ow good she is with th' Cruciatus. Never saw anything like what she did with th' special Dark wands."

"Goddamn it, Dung," growled Moody. "That's 'Constant Vigilance.' Make them read it; stop giving away crucial plot points."

"I've got to, Mad-Eye," he replied uncomfortably. "People are gettin' confused."

Mercifully, Hermione had whispered the countercurse while Moody was distracted, and so Polyxena, filled with ire, sprang to her feet. "You bloody bastard!" she snapped. "Hexing your own wife on purpose. Merlin knows I get hexed every day if I come around a corner too fast. I'm going with you, and if you think differently, I'll curse the Sneakoscope tattoo right off your... " The rest of Polyxena's speech was drowned out by the heavy slamming of the kitchen door as she stalked off to one of the bedrooms.

Moody glowered, and Hermione's spine straightened. "I'll go see if she's all right," she threw out as she followed Polyxena's footsteps up the stairs.

Polyxena hadn't taken much care to hide herself; in fact, she was sulking in the room nearest the staircase and blushed deeply when she heard Hermione come in.

"Merlin," she said with a self-deprecating grimace, "that lot must think I'm fucking insane."

"Well... " Hermione arched a brow. "I personally liked hearing someone tell Moody where he can stick his Secrecy Sensor, but I couldn't speak for everyone. The good news is that he'll probably let you come now."

"'Let me,'" snorted Polyxena. "Ha bloody ha. In my hormonal haze, I forgot the most important rule to dealing with Alastor when he's in his 'do as the crusty old Auror says' routine, and that's humor him."

"Humor him?" Hermione leaned forward eagerly, no stranger to the 'do as the greasy old Potions master says' routine. "That shuts him up, then, does it?"

With a delicate shrug, the older woman agreed, "When I'm rational enough to do it, yes. Why, going to try it on Severus?" Narrowing her eyes at Hermione, she exclaimed, "That's where I know you from! You were snogging Snape in Hogwarts last year! Very thoroughly, I might add."

"I was there; I remember," bit off Hermione acerbically. "And clearly that's worked out so well. What do mean, anyway, 'hormonal haze'? You're not... are you?"

Polyxena gave her head an embarrassed tilt. "Indeed. Only... only don't tell Alastor. I really don't wish to see how far he's prepared to go in the name of constant fucking vigilance."

"Your secret's safe with me." Hermione smiled. "But... but maybe I'll try humoring Snape a bit. Kill with kindness and that."

"He'll probably just get suspicious."

"Severus doesn't really think like that," she demurred. "Couldn't hurt, I suppose. We were doing so well working together last year, but after the kiss he pulled away. Now that I think on it, that was long before I ever found him with Narcissa Malfoy. I'd only ever snogged Victor and Ron before that. Maybe I did... something... wrong."

"I very much doubt that. Give it time," Polyxena said easily. "Alastor and I hated each other at sight. I don't think Snape's done with you yet."