Deceit at the Wedding
Chapter 5 of 21
Grace has VictoryAriadne receives her Hogwarts letter, makes new friends and expands her view of the world.
ReviewedCHAPTER FIVE
Deceit at the Wedding
Saturday 24 July 1976 Thursday 1 September 1977
Kincarden Croft, Inverness-shire; Salford, Greater Manchester; Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire; King's Cross Station, London; Hogwarts (unplottable, but believed to be in the Grampians).
Rated PG for reported violence and first-hand avarice.
A year after Cousin Lavinia's wedding, the Malfoy and Macmillan cousins all congregated at Kincarden Croft, where Kenneth was married to a politely-mannered Edinburgh pure-blood named Janet Cornfoot. Ariadne wore the MacDougal tartan; Papa roasted a sheep and an ox on spits in the courtyard; and the wedding cake was a square of Dundee cake that Mamma had baked at home. The Macmillan children wanted to run around the farm to visit the animals.
"What, in your best robes?" gasped Letitia Malfoy in disbelief.
"In my robes," said Dreadnought Macmillan firmly. "I'm wanting to see the pigs."
"Ariadne's knowing better than to scuff her bridesmaid's robe," interposed Uncle Macnair. "I would not play with those yellow-tartans if I were you, Ariadne. You'd be better off taking my daughters indoors to play a nice, quiet board game."
It was unwise to disobey Uncle Macnair, who was Mamma's cousin and whom Mamma respected to the point of reverence. His own children always obeyed him instantly, and he expected similar compliance from the MacDougals. But little Dreadnought looked desperately disappointed to be told to play indoors, so Ariadne said, "I'll bring out a tarpaulin and some Gobstones. We can all play."
Dragomira and Regelinda Macnair were willing to play Royal Ur and Wei Qi with the Macmillans, but Letitia could not bring herself to sit down on the dirty ground, not even on a tarpaulin. She sailed off to find her brother Linus, while Steadfast Macmillan distributed the counters.
In the middle of the game-playing, an owl arrived for Mamma. Perhaps she was unwise to open the letter in such a public place, for she turned very pale and clutched at Papa's arm. She looked as if she wanted to walk out of the party on the spot, but of course she did not; that would have been quite improper on her son's wedding day.
It was half an hour before Ariadne could politely leave her cousins to their games and ask her mother, "Mamma, what is wrong? Did you receive dreadful news?"
This turned out to be one of the few types of Bad Event that could be discussed freely. "Dreadful indeed," she said. "My poor niece is dead! I always knew she would end up just like my dear mother!"
"Mamma, what happened?"
"I'm not yet knowing." Mamma was spilling tears now. "The owl did not mention whether it was accident or illness or something worse. But I never believed poor Eileen could live a long life after she married that Snape!"
Ariadne hugged her mother, and this seemed to be the correct thing to do.
Even when Cousin Lavinia Crabbe approached with raised eyebrows, asking, "Tears at Kenneth's wedding, Aunt MacDougal?" Mamma only replied, "Do not inform anybody until the party ends, Lavinia, but my only niece died this morning!"
Lavinia nodded, not with sympathy, but with a kind of satisfaction that no rule of Good Behaviour had been breached. She said, "I will mention it to Lucius this evening. If you wish to dismiss the party early, Aunt MacDougal, everyone will understand."
"That I am not wishing, for I could not cause such gossip," said Mamma, speaking more steadily; and this seemed to be correct too.
Ariadne was nearly ten now, and it was harder for her parents to hide the distasteful secrets of their family history. She had access to photograph albums, to scrapbooks of newspaper clippings, to genealogies scripted in the family Bible. She knew that most of her father's family had been killed on a holiday in Albania because they had encountered an agent of Grindelwald during a hike in the forest. Papa and two of his sisters had survived only because they had happened to dine on reheated chicken livers the previous evening and had spent the fateful day abed in the hotel with food poisoning.
Ariadne knew that her mother's mother had been born Ankarad Murray and that she had married Cuthbert Macnair. But they and their children had never lived at Macnair Castle, for Cuthbert had belonged to something called a "cadet branch". This meant that he had not inherited anything from his parents, while his nephew, the great Walden Macnair, had succeeded to the whole "from portcullis to pinnacle". Mamma had always taken it as a great favour that her cousin Walden sometimes visited Kincarden or arranged to meet Papa in Diagon Alley and asked questions about the MacDougals' well-being.
"But Walden Macnair is not as great as he thinks he is," sniffed Lucretia Malfoy, "for he made weak investments and lost most of the Macnair fortune. Why keep a castle that you can't afford to maintain? Walden Macnair has to work for the Ministry of Magic work for pay just to put food on his table!" According to the Malfoys, it was a shameful thing to need to work for pay.
"My father was never a happy man," was the most Mamma would say about the Cadet Branch.
Aunt Macmillan was blunter. "Goodness, lassie, do not upset your mother by asking any more questions about the Macnairs," she said. "Her childhood was the most miserable you could imagine. Her father never forgave Life for making him a second son, doomed to earn an honest living instead of inheriting that rickety old castle at Foss. He was addicted to Firewhisky and never gave a moment's peace to anybody unfortunate enough to fall into his power. He would have gone to Azkaban for killing his wife except that when the Aurors came to arrest him, they found he'd already been killed in a duel with a neighbour."
So that was the shameful secret of Grandmamma Macnair, the greatest brewster in all Scotland her own husband had killed her.
Ariadne knew from the genealogies and scrapbooks that Mamma had been the fourth of five daughters, and that none of her aunts had lived happy lives. The eldest aunt, Nyfain, had married an Englishman named Impugnus Prince, which Mamma always considered very unfortunate, although she would never say why. Aunt Prince had died in childbirth a year later, and there had always been something mysterious something not to be discussed about her daughter. All Ariadne really knew about her Cousin Eileen was that she had inherited Aunt Keindrech's old school books because Uncle Prince had been too mean to buy new ones, that she had been a Gobstones champion, and that she had married a Muggle. But that none of these facts was the reason why Mamma was not liking to talk about her niece.
The second aunt, Gruoch, had been exactly like their father: she had married an Acerbus Nott, and, according to the newspaper clipping pasted to the scrapbook, the two of them had gone to Azkaban for killing their own children. Perhaps they were there yet; there was no record on the genealogy that they were actually dead.
The third aunt, Donat, had been the family rebel. According to another cutting, she had mysteriously died one week after refusing to marry a Dark Wizard, a man who openly admitted to six years in Grindelwald's service. Ariadne felt that Grandpapa Macnair had probably killed Aunt Donat too, but of course there was no evidence of this.
As for Aunt Keindrech, the youngest, she had "never known what to do with herself" after her parents' scandalous deaths. The album's final photograph of Aunt Keindrech showed her at her parents' funeral, dressed in black and carrying a spray of red roses. According to the caption underneath, she had on that day been invited to live as an indefinite guest at Macnair Castle in exchange for "assisting with experimental research into magical hexes". The family Bible recorded her death-date as six months after her parents' funeral, but there were whispers that her ghost was yet haunting the turrets of Macnair Castle.
Ariadne began to understand why Mamma always spoke so softly and never argued with anybody. If she had chosen to marry Papa, she evidently wanted to make her married home as unlike her childhood home as possible.
* * * * * * *They had to go to Cousin Eileen's funeral on the day after Kenneth's wedding. After one glance at Tobias Snape, Ariadne knew why Mamma disliked him. There was a cruel, angry line around his mouth; he was probably a Muggle version of Grandpapa Macnair. It must be nightmarish for Mamma to be forced to imagine her niece's life, living in that man's house, listening to his soft, deadly voice, being punished by his sneers (and perhaps worse) and isolated from all her wizarding friends. Ariadne slid her hand into her mother's and did not let it go all through the memorial service. Mamma squeezed her hand back and sobbed quietly throughout the final hymn.
The wake at the Snapes' family home was crowded out with Muggle neighbours. They all spoke to Cousin Tobias, and he leered back at them.
"She was something of a witch. We'll probably live more happily without her."
Ariadne could not believe he would say anything so spiteful or so indiscreet in front of Muggles. She had no desire to meet him, so she studied his walls, which were completely lined on every side with bookshelves. The books surprised her too: there were no Muggle volumes (was Tobias unable to read?) but only blatantly magical ones. They must have been charmed so that Muggles did not notice them, for they had such frightening titles as Harnessing the Inferi, Fast Curses for your Foes and What Wizards can Learn from Vampires. At least half of them were related to potions: Dictionary of Aphrodisiacs, A Hundred and One Undetectable Poisons, Home-Brewed Hexes, Complete Uses of Deadly Nightshade.
Had Eileen dabbled in the Dark Arts? Was that why Mamma had made so little effort to maintain contact with her niece?
One bookcase covered an open door; Ariadne looked through it into a stone kitchen. She saw cauldrons, scales and jars of herbs; there was even a trail of red powder spilled carelessly over the counter, as if nobody had bothered to wipe up the mess from last week's brew. There were more books a herbiary, recipes for rashes and emetics, a collection of household hints left lying open near the shelves, indicating that Eileen had continued her brewing right up until the day she died. Perhaps the softly-scented steam rising from a shimmering cauldron had given her a small corner of happiness even while she was living with that horrible man. Or perhaps it had been her way of deliberately annoying him, of reminding him that she had powers beyond his imaginings and that she might use them to destroy him if she chose.
Then Ariadne spotted him the only person, apart from Mamma, who was honestly grieving. A thin, sallow, hook-nosed youth of about seventeen was staring out of the window at the dilapidated giant chimney of a run-down mill. She knew at once that he was Eileen's son because he looked so much like Tobias. And she knew that he was utterly friendless. Mamma was by now leaning on Papa's arm, so Ariadne drew a deep breath and approached the young man.
"I'm sorry about your mother, Cousin Severus," she told him. "This has to be a bad day for you."
Cousin Severus looked very surprised. He nodded, but did not speak to her.
* * * * * * *Six months later, Tobias Snape was also dead, and Mamma said they were not needing to attend this funeral; everybody knew that she had never been acquainted with her nephew-in-law. However, she wrote quite a long letter of condolence to Severus "because he's the only blood-nephew I have".
Six months after that, Lucius Malfoy was married, and Ariadne was one of twenty bridesmaids, all arrayed in the finest pale-blue lace and carrying posies of sky-blue roses. Lucius was so determined to outshine his sister that he personally paid for the twenty pale-blue lace dress-robes, and the sugar figures around the edges of the seven-tier wedding cake actually moved like little clockworks, and the three fountains in the grounds of Malfoy Manor each ran with a different kind of wine.
The bride was Miss Narcissa Black, but she was so proud and pallid and platinum that she could have passed for a Malfoy by birth. Ariadne overheard Cousin Linus whispering to his sister Lucretia that Narcissa had brought a personal fortune one might almost say, a dowry of one hundred thousand Galleons.
Lucretia frowned furiously and hissed, "Don't be vulgar, Linus! No well-bred person is so crude as to discuss money." She slid her eyes across the lawn to ensure that the bride and groom were out of earshot, then finished her rebuke with, "Just because the Blacks are among the few families who are fit to associate with the Malfoys, there is no need to thank them. We have plenty of capital of our own and we don't claim to be surprised that Narcissa accepted Lucius!"
"And bridesmaids in position again!" called the photographer.
Ariadne moved into her spot as Eleventh Bridesmaid and lifted her blue bouquet.
"I'm wishing we had not to take yet another photograph!" complained Felicity Macmillan, who was Thirteenth.
"How ungrateful!" hissed Letitia Malfoy sharply, from her position behind them as Second. "Attending a wedding between the ancient Houses of Black and Malfoy is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. You'll want to treasure these portraits for the rest of your lives."
Ariadne wondered how any of them dared speak so freely. She was still rearranging the chaplet of blue roses on Mercy Macmillan's head when she noticed that her parents were speaking to Cousin Severus. She was surprised to see him at the wedding, since he was not related to either the Malfoys or the Blacks and, since he was a half-blood, it was unlikely that either family considered him a personal friend. But he was standing by the white-wine fountain, garbed in black dress-robes and with his greasy hair neatly combed, and Mamma was hovering over him affectionately.
Mamma was trying so hard, but Severus looked bored with her attention. He behaves badly because he's been treated badly, Ariadne reminded herself. He's needing a friend. When she was finally able to escape the torments of Being a Blue Bridesmaid, she tried to speak to him.
"Mamma says you did very well in your N.E.W.T.s, Severus. You have to be pleased."
"I am not as lazy as some."
She wondered which lazy person he resented so deeply, but she persevered. "What work are you thinking you'll do now you have left school?"
"I have plans."
These plans obviously did not involve love or friendship, but of course she could not discuss this. "Do you care for books, Cousin Severus?"
"Hmph! What would a little girl like you know?"
It was obvious why he had no friends, yet she knew she had to keep trying. "Was it not terrible news on the Wireless about the vampire employed by Him-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to attack Muggles?"
"You'll see what you'll see about the Dark Lord," he growled.
"I'll ?" There was something so cryptic about his tone that she heard herself asking, "Severus, you're not a Death Eater, are you?"
"No," he replied too quickly; and she knew instantly that he was.
She could not tell Mamma; Severus had denied it, so Mamma would not want to believe her. Mamma's newborn affection for Severus was quite blind, but as her parents insisted on believing the best even about Lucius, they would certainly not accept accusations against Severus.
Fortunately, she did not have to worry about it for long. A few days later, her long-awaited Hogwarts letter arrived, and all Mamma could talk or think about for the rest of the summer was preparing Ariadne for the grand adventure of going to school.
* * * * * * *On the first of September, Mrs MacDougal was more anxious than Ariadne. "There are hundreds of students, dear," she said. "You have to make the effort to be friendly, but it would help if you already had a friend... Oh, dear, I'm not knowing if anybody from Hufflepuff is starting this year."
They gazed around platform Nine and Three Quarters together. Letitia Malfoy and Hazel Parkinson, their black Hogwarts robes looking suspiciously as if they were made of velvet instead of the regulation merino, were standing in front of shiny new leather trunks, but they already knew that they would be in Slytherin.
"There's Regelinda..." said Mamma dubiously. Macnairs were sometimes Sorted into Hufflepuff; but Regelinda Macnair was clutching the arm of her sister Dragomira, a third-year Slytherin, in a way that suggested the Sorting test would not dream of separating them.
"Steady Macmillan's over there," Ariadne suggested. The Macmillans were a backbone-of-Hufflepuff family, but Mamma would prefer her to make friends with girls, and Steady, already in second year, might not have time for her.
Finally Ariadne approached a kind-looking girl with large, chocolate-brown eyes and wonderful chocolate-brown hair curling over her shoulders. "Excuse me," she began, "but I'm new this year... Do you know where the Hufflepuffs are?"
"I'm new, too," said the brown lass. "My name's Veleta Vablatsky, and I don't know anyone at Hogwarts either. Except my grandmother but perhaps teachers don't count."
"Really? Will your grandmother be one of our teachers? Which was her house?"
"Ravenclaw. Everyone in our family is always in Ravenclaw. But Granny doesn't teach first-years, so I won't be seeing much of her."
Ariadne felt her mother watching them carefully. If Mamma did not recognise the girl or her name, then she was probably not a pure-blood; and she was not in Hufflepuff. But nobody else was making any friendly overtures, and a teacher's granddaughter had to be respectable, so Mamma said nothing other than, "You two should maybe board the train."
As Ariadne moved her trunk into the luggage rack, she was overcome by a wave of shyness. She was not used to meeting new people, and she suddenly did not know what to say to Veleta. She cast around for something personal but not too personal, and by the time all their luggage was stowed, she was able to come out with, "Do you live in London?"
"Not far away I'm from Guildford."
Ariadne was pleased to recognise this name from her geography lessons. "It's said to be a bonny town... Is it huge?"
"Not as cities go. Are you from a city?"
"I am not; I live on a farm near Loch Ness. Fort William is the nearest large town."
"Ooh, in the Highlands. Are you near any castles?"
"We're not far from the ruins of Urquhart but you would not be wanting to spend a rainy night there."
"Yes, I would. I've always loved castles I've always wanted to go exploring one with a long history."
It was a little embarrassing for Ariadne to admit that she had visited Macnair Castle four or five times, but that she had never seen it from the outside and did not know what it looked like. She took the Floo into the Great Hall, she explained, and then played in Regelinda's room or in the garden...
Mrs MacDougal had worried that Ariadne might fall in with the wrong friends; she would have been more anxious still if she had known what would happen at Hogwarts that evening. Ariadne did not pay very much attention to the Sorting because she already knew her house. She almost missed her cue when Professor McGonagall called, "MacDougal, Ariadne!"
Ariadne sat on the Sorting stool, picked up the Sorting Hat and began to put it on. But it had barely touched the first hair of her head before it shrieked, "GRYFFINDOR!"
Astonished, she looked around to see who had shouted, but the Hat spoke again, this time so that nobody else could hear, "Put me down, you're Sorted!" So, strictly speaking, Ariadne never wore the legendary Sorting Hat at all.
She passed the Hat to Regelinda Macnair and stumbled right past the Hufflepuff table, wondering how on earth she was going to explain this turn of events to her parents. They were expecting her to keep to their approved circle of friends, but Regelinda was swiftly dispatched to Slytherin, and so was Letitia Malfoy. Ariadne thought briefly of the nice Ravenclaw she had met on the train Veleta Vablatsky would have made a wonderful friend! but then a round-faced big boy wearing a shiny P badge was extending a hand to her.
"Welcome to Gryffindor, Ariadne. I'm Caradoc Dearborn. And welcome to you too, Wendy."
Ariadne saw that a mousy little girl clutching a very large toad had followed her to the Gryffindor table. Her face was familiar because she had attended all the right pure-blood parties, and Ariadne remembered in time that her name was Wendy McKinnon.
"Why don't you two take the seats next to my sister?" Caradoc invited. "She's in first year too."
Hestia Dearborn was rosy and black-haired. When Wendy's toad hopped into her lap, Hestia broke off her conversation with the boy opposite and smiled at them.
"His name's Croaker," said Wendy. "He's a natterjack the loudest species in Europe."
"I didn't think natterjacks grew that large," said Hestia.
Soon they were chattering away about how Wendy fed growth-hormone to her tadpoles. Ariadne fervently hoped that this did not count as illegal breeding, for she would have to report at least one respectable new friend to her parents, and Hazel Parkinson had just been waved over to Slytherin.
"... Eats spiders and snails, and I've trained him to wake by day..."
The chair on Ariadne's other side scraped across the floor and, before she could look around, Veleta Vablatsky sat down on it, her brown eyes dancing. "My goodness!" she exclaimed breathlessly. "Gryffindor! Ariadne, I was sure I'd be an Eagle!"
"And I was sure I'd be in Hufflepuff," said Ariadne. "You could not be more surprised than I am. But," she suddenly realised, "I'm not at all sorry."
"Heavens, Granny will never believe that I'm a Lion!"
A beautiful blonde took the seat next to Veleta and asked, "What's special about Slytherin?"
"Nothing much." Hestia shrugged. "It would be my last-choice Hogwarts house."
"That Sorting Hat took forever to place me," said the blonde. "It kept telling me I could do well in Slytherin because I had the 'preservation instinct'. So when I asked it well, I didn't seem to need to speak; I just thought when I wondered why it wasn't putting me in Slytherin, it kept saying, 'Not so sure, there's quite a lot of generosity in there too.' In where, I wondered? So in the end I told it, 'I'm hungry, so just Sort me, and if the other Slytherins are spiteful about my not fitting in, I can give them as good as I get!' And the next second, it had made me a Gryffindor."
"Then welcome to Gryffindor, Miss Sarah Webster," said a tall black boy opposite. Ariadne knew at once that he was a very clever boy, but she had already forgotten his name.
The long table was hosting such a sea of strange faces perhaps no more than seventy students, but at the end of a long day it could have been all of two hundred and fifty that Ariadne did not know how she would ever remember everybody. She concentrated on the new first-years, the girls who would share her dormitory. Veleta-from-the-train, whose Granny was a teacher here. Hestia-the-prefect's-sister. Wendy-with-the-toad. And now Sarah-almost-in-Slytherin. That was plenty to begin with.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Moons of Deceit
29 Reviews | 7.86/10 Average
It's scary. I think that the MacDougals would be forgiving of Remus' werewolf nature, and I don't think they'd fire him, but really, there's always that danger. They might be upset that he had hidden it from them though. But I think Ariadne would give her parents both what-for if they dared to be upset about that.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, It would never cross the MacDougals' minds that anyone associated with them could be a werewolf. After all, werewolves are nasty, while young Mr Lupin is hardworking and polite. How Ariadne deals with her parents (and brother) will be revealed in due course. Thanks for reviewing, GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, It would never cross the MacDougals' minds that anyone associated with them could be a werewolf. After all, werewolves are nasty, while young Mr Lupin is hardworking and polite. How Ariadne deals with her parents (and brother) will be revealed in due course. Thanks for reviewing, GhV
When he brought up Emmeline Vance, I thought he was going to bring up lycanthropy, not chaperoning his daughter on an outing ... which, I hope doesn't occur during a full moon, come to think of it. *whew*
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,Emmeline would not betray a friend like that. But that outing could turn out to be important.Unfortunately, it WILL be during the full moon.Regards,GhV
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Oh, it would have to be, wouldn't it? Well, you have been setting us up for it.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,Emmeline would not betray a friend like that. But that outing could turn out to be important.Unfortunately, it WILL be during the full moon.Regards,GhV
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Oh, it would have to be, wouldn't it? Well, you have been setting us up for it.
This chapter broke my heart. Veleta is not coming back. I saw Veleta and Ariadne as a combination. They relied on each other, and their abilities played off each other. Now Ariadne is like a lost soul, wandering to find someone else to love ... and that brings me to the next chapter, which I reviewed before this because I was looking for this one but came upon that one instead. It seems like there are two souls lost and wandering now.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,The parallels between the two storylines are quite deliberate, as you must have noticed. This is a time of war, and hearts are going to be broken.Thanks for all your support,GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,The parallels between the two storylines are quite deliberate, as you must have noticed. This is a time of war, and hearts are going to be broken.Thanks for all your support,GhV
Oh, my God. Poor Remus. This came unexpectedly, for me at least (I'm very naive). At least he always had his mother's arms to go to when he needed. The way his memories of his family came flooding over him in his grief ... it is very real, and it paints his desolation well.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,Alas, Remus always did have to be alone in the world! Are you sure you want to continue with the beta-job? This story seems to be upsetting you far too much.Take a cyber-tissue from me,GhV
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
But of course I want to continue! I have great hopes that there will be some light at the end of the tunnel, however small it may be.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS,Alas, Remus always did have to be alone in the world! Are you sure you want to continue with the beta-job? This story seems to be upsetting you far too much.Take a cyber-tissue from me,GhV
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
But of course I want to continue! I have great hopes that there will be some light at the end of the tunnel, however small it may be.
Remus is such an interesting person that was never really examined in the books. I like this look at his life.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Deare Teshara, I like Remus too! Keep reading, and tell me if you think "my" Remus is true to canon. Regards, GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Deare Teshara, I like Remus too! Keep reading, and tell me if you think "my" Remus is true to canon. Regards, GhV
My heart just breaks for him. The poor little boy. And his poor parents, who were so frightened for him and so frightened to lose him. As a mother, I could feel how heart-wrenching it was for her to shut the garage door and leave Remus there all alone.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, I am proud to have broken your heart! This chapter really upset my son, who was then only seven. He couldn't know how much it upset me to write it - because what if it had been him shut up in that garage? Thanks for reviewing, GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, I am proud to have broken your heart! This chapter really upset my son, who was then only seven. He couldn't know how much it upset me to write it - because what if it had been him shut up in that garage? Thanks for reviewing, GhV
I love the background on Ariadne. This was one of the things I was missing when I read it sporadically. She is rather intuitive, isn't she?
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, Hold that thought - Ariadne's intuition is a major part of the story development. I know it's difficult to interest readers in an OC in the same way as the old canon favourites, so thank you for persevering with Ariadne. Regards, GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, Hold that thought - Ariadne's intuition is a major part of the story development. I know it's difficult to interest readers in an OC in the same way as the old canon favourites, so thank you for persevering with Ariadne. Regards, GhV
Miss McDougal is a very interesting character. Very unusual for a pureblood, and very intuitive. It shows promise for Remus, to be sure.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, You might think of the MacDougals as the "poor nobles" of the wizarding world (a little like the Weasleys). Their importance is completely in their blood rather than their material wealth or political power. This is one factor that is always interacting with both the family culture and Ariadne's own personality. Thanks for reviewing! GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, You might think of the MacDougals as the "poor nobles" of the wizarding world (a little like the Weasleys). Their importance is completely in their blood rather than their material wealth or political power. This is one factor that is always interacting with both the family culture and Ariadne's own personality. Thanks for reviewing! GhV
I love reading a story told from Remus' POV when he was younger. I admit to reading bits and pieces of this story earlier, but now that I am getting to read the story from the beginning, I am enjoying it much more.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, I've only just noticed the string of reviews, and I am so flattered that you bothered to review this story properly after all your patient beta-work! I hope the coherent whole will prove worth reading. Regards, GhV
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear NSS, I've only just noticed the string of reviews, and I am so flattered that you bothered to review this story properly after all your patient beta-work! I hope the coherent whole will prove worth reading. Regards, GhV
*sniffle*I hope there's some romance coming into Remus's life. He deserves it.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Romance? Do you have anyone in mind?The worst IS over now, although he doesn't recognise this yet. Hallowe'en will be the anniversary, yet he will be too distracted by his immediate problems to dwell on it much, a sure sign that he is healing. Anyway, you already know what happens at that party.Thanks for reviewing,GhV
Aha! I thought she was about old enough by this time to be getting to where the story began.It's good to hear about Harry from the point of view of someone so distant from the events.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Yes, we're now (chronologically) close to where we began. And, yes, I did want to highlight Harry as The Boy Who Lived. Although Ariadne will never meet him, she is one of the thousands who knows his story. Thanks for keeping up the reviews.
I didn't enjoy the idea of what was happening to the wizard, but I think it gave context and depth to the death eaters. It's not like they tickled people until they gave in, after all. :)
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
LOLOLOL! Tickling is like torture to me, but I bet that would never occur to the Lestranges!
It's so interesting to read this, knowing who the real traitor was. You've quite cleverly planted clues in Peter's story, but it's interesting to see why Remus and the others didn't pick up on them. Obviously, the whole thing would have become unravelled if Peter had lived.Bravo
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
You know, I didn't consciously "plant" clues. I just wrote out what Peter did, including how he tried to cover his tracks. I think his friends assumed a priori that it wasn't him, and that's how he got away with it. At a time of war, he wasn't the only person to keep secrets and be caught out in the occasional lie, so the inconsistencies in his stories simply weren't noticed.Thank you for being such a consistent reviewer.
How bleak. I think you've drawn an excellent picture of how things must have been for those who lived through the war.How sad Remus's life is becoming.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Yes, I wondered if I dared write anything so depressing. He tells Harry that he has been "shunned and rejected for almost all my adult life", or words to that effect, so we can't have him running through sunny meadows for much of the time, especially not during the war. I am going to give him some happy patches, but not yet.Thank you for keeping up the reviews.
Oh, how sad! *sniff* I really liked Velata! Her death makes sense, but oh, waaaaaaaaaaaaah, I want her back!
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Ariadne wants her back too. I've always been amazed by how much the readers like Veleta; I didn't think she had enough page space to make much of an impact. But I'm glad I made you sniffle for her.There will be more about the circumstances of Veleta's demise in the sequel.
Response from Raira (Reviewer)
Hurray! A sequel! And can we expect the next chapter soon?Not that I'm sitting on the edge of my seat or anything. *cough*
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Since the story is actually finished, the chapters will be posted as fast as the mods can approve them. And I must say that they do a pretty fast job on this site. Please don't fall off your chair. You might hurt your head.
That's very well written; very dark, but appropriate for the circumstances. I feel sorry for the Muggle born wizard, and I thought you did a great job of describing the reaction of the man when he was released from the Imperius curse.Great job.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Yep, nasty, wasn't it? It was hard to strike a balance between having the Death Eaters actually behave like Death Eaters and writing something that a normal person could stomach reading. I'm sure you're far too nice to relish much of this, so thank you for struggling through.
A very good perspective!By the way, this chapter comes up in the chapter list as "Vengeance under Lenten Room".
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Whoops, how embarrassing! I think I've fixed it now.I find the Willow episode difficult because I don't think any of the characters looks rosy; I can only tolerate it by hoping that they all learned something (as I hint in the next chapter).Let's hope JKR tells us more about it eventually.
I liked the way you tied so many threads into this story.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
It only becomes more complex. I didn't set out to do it that way, but so many sub-plots barged in ... if you can follow them all, you're doing well. Actually, a couple of the strands depend on the assumption that the reader WON'T follow them all that well, and will forget important information...
I really enjoyed this chapter!
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Thank you!
Oh how sad. The way you've portrayed Remus's first night as a werewolf is very powerful. I nearly cried.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
,I am sorry I made you cry.No, I'm not. That was a lie. I'm very proud of myself for nearly making you cry. Remus is a tragic character, but not, I think, a self-pitying one. We cry for him because we know he won't cry for himself.Thank you for taking the time to review,GhV
Response from Raira (Reviewer)
I adore Remus. He is probably my favourite male character in the books. I also love having a good cry in stories, so it's all good!
I like Ariadne; and her powers of perception seem to go beyond intelligence. It looks like she has a special magical gift.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Thank you,
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
! I like Ariadne too. I lived with her in my head for two years, so we had to find something to talk about! You don't really find out about her "gift" until chapter 11, but hold that thought - she is quite unlike her parents in outlook.
Wow. I liked that. I can totally see that Remus needed some help, and it'll be interesting to know how his rescuer justifies his behaviour to herself.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
,Thank you for taking the time to tell me so. But I'm afraid you have a long wait ahead. Most of the rest of the story is in flashback, so your question won't be answered until chapter 17. I hope you're a patient reader.Regards,GhV
Response from Raira (Reviewer)
No problem! I am very busily writing right now, but I'm really enjoying reading this story in the breaks. I'm really looking forward to future chapters.
I really enjoyed your vision of Remus's post-Hogwarts life. I never thought what he might have done in between studying and teaching, but I think your idea is inspired. He is a very talented wizard, and he does have to be wary of discovery, so an out-of-the-way post seems like a great solution for him.
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
,Thanks for reviewing! Remus is now very out-of-the-way, and it will stay that way for as long as he can hide his furry little problem.Regards,GhV
The second chapter poses a number of questions. I’ll have to see what the story does with them. My first thought is that the party reminds me of ‘The Hobbit,’ but Bilbo knew some of his guests hated each other. If the MacDougals are trying to heal wounds, having the party on the anniversary of Voldemort’s fall will antagonize half the guests. Aren’t the MacDougals suspicious of a very talented wizard (Remus) working as a drudge? After being raised in such a family, where does Miss MacDougal get her social and psychological insight? It is canon that Remus is poor and an outcast, but is there no way in wizard society for an extremely talented wizard to be an independent artisan who can vanish for three days a month?
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
,So many good questions! I can't answer all of them without giving spoilers, but let's see what I can reveal safely...My first thought is that the party reminds me of ‘The Hobbit,’ but Bilbo knew some of his guests hated each other. If the MacDougals are trying to heal wounds, having the party on the anniversary of Voldemort’s fall will antagonize half the guests.Interesting parallel ... clearly, the MacDougals are not trying to "heal old wounds". Rather, they don't acknowledge that any such wounds exist, because they take it for granted that nobody in any way connected with them could have backed the wrong side. People like the Malfoys encourage this view - they don't want respectable wizards to think badly of them!Aren’t the MacDougals suspicious of a very talented wizard (Remus) working as a drudge?They believe he lacks ambition, but it hasn't occurred to them to think anything worse. He is polite, and he works for them, therefore he cannot be a bad person.After being raised in such a family, where does Miss MacDougal get her social and psychological insight?This question will be answered in chapter 11. However, her separation from her parents' point of view began early in life, as you will see in chapter 3.It is canon that Remus is poor and an outcast, but is there no way in wizard society for an extremely talented wizard to be an independent artisan who can vanish for three days a month? I don't know. JKR would like us to think not. Do we meet any "independent artisans" in canon? (I don't count Mundungus Fletcher.) Most wizards from the middle ranks of society seem to own small businesses in Diagon Alley or similar. Why Remus lost his original job once Voldemort disappeared I will explain later. Why he was in no psychological state to start up a business (aside from having no friends and no financial backing) in the ensuing year will also be explained. I can see why setting himself up as some kind of "independent artisan" who sets his own working hours might be an option in the long term, but this theory would need a convincing explanation for why his business had collapsed by 1993. In my story, he eventually makes a different choice ... but more of that later. Thanks for reading so thoroughly, and for taking the time to put it all down in such a thoughtful review. Happy reading,GhV
Nice introductory chapter. My guess is that the story is for pre-teens, but children's literature is a big unknown to me.Mrs. MacDougal appears dominating in her own quiet way, and her daughter probes into people's lives, too. Lupin is working way below his talent.Isn't anyone worried about the were-wolf amongst the livestock, not to mention the people? Do we find out how Lupin deals with this?
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
Dear
Response from Grace has Victory (Author of Moons of Deceit)
,Thanks for reviewing. But, whoops, I'm way off base if I made you think this was a children's story. I've given it a PG-13, because it's quite mature conceptually. Yes, Mrs MacDougal is quite dominating. Yes, her daughter (the heroine of the story) is very perceptive. Yes, Lupin is working way below his talent - doesn't he state in canon that he was an outsider for most of his adult life?Nobody is worried yet about the werewolf among the livestock because nobody knows about Lupin's little furry problem. There will be more on this topic; however, most of the story is told in flashback, so his relationship with his employers is not a highly developed aspect of the plot.I am really flattered that you were able to ask such perceptive questions about such a short chapter. Thank you so much for your input,GhV