HARRY

A/N: Two chapters left after this one, both of which will be posted at the same time, probably in a day or two.

Chapter Eighteen: HARRY

Harry Potter had never asked to be famous and yet it had happened, much against his will. He had never asked to be the 'salvation of the Wizarding World' and could quite happily go the rest of his life never hearing the annoying misnomer 'the Boy-Who-Lived' again.

He hated being 'the Boy-Who-Lived', because it meant he was 'the Boy-Who-Lived-To-See-All-His-Friends-Suffer-and-Die.' The war had changed him – made him harder, quicker to anger and slower to forgive. Less optimistic, less trusting – just less. He honestly didn't know who Harry Potter was anymore, if he ever had. All he knew – all he believed – was that things would be better with Hermione back. She had always been the sensible one. He had relied on her for more than friendship – he had relied on her to be the voice of reason, the one who would call him on being a prat, or to study more or worry less. During the last months before the final battle, she had been his calm center in the eye of the hurricane around him.

Since the final battle – since he had lost her – he no longer felt balanced. His emotions veered wildly from one moment to the next, leaving him anxious and angry. If Snape hadn't been helping him, Hermione would still be with them. Harry couldn't fathom that she may have thrown herself in front of Malfoy's curse knowing full well her actions; couldn't believe for a moment that anyone would willingly choose to sacrifice themselves for that man.

He had never liked Snape and Snape had never liked him. Everyone knew it and there was no sense in trying to pretend it was otherwise. During these hard months of Hermione's confinement, it had been Harry's inherent dislike and mistrust of the older man that had kept him sane and kept him focused. He knew it was wrong. Yet he allowed the feelings to persist. Hating Snape was easier than hating himself.

And he did. Hate himself, that is. If it hadn't been for his friendship with him, Ron would not have been a target during that last desperate battle. Harry would never have had to see his friend's head separated from his body with such raw power that the wound was cauterized even as it was made. He would never have had to face Molly and Arthur – the closest he had ever come to having parents – and know it was his fault their youngest son was dead. He still found it incredibly difficult to visit the Burrow, surrounded as it was by memories of happier times, when the Weasley family had been whole. It was not only Harry's fault they had lost Ron in the conflict, but Percy as well. When he had finally killed Voldemort, the older boy had melted with the rest of the marked Death Eaters.

Ginny – she still wasn't talking all that much, although the last time he had seen her she had tried to joke that the jagged scar running down the middle of her face was more impressive than his little lightening bolt, before bursting into tears and running from the room. Arthur hadn't asked him about anything Muggle-made in over a year and every time Molly looked at him, Harry was sure she was wishing he were Ron instead.

He had needed someone to blame for it all, and Snape had been there to do just that. Harry had actually come to rely on the older man to provide him the ability to project his blame and his guilt, his anger and despair, at someone other than himself.

He had known for months, of course, that Snape was not hurting Hermione in any way. It was impossible to miss the fact the man was killing himself in an effort to come up with a cure, and it looked like maybe – just maybe – he had done it.

And Harry had done nothing to help. The young man sighed with disgust as he adjusted his glasses on his nose and headed to the dungeons. Today was the day they were going to test Snape's hypothesis; the day they would take the potion and try to free Hermione.

Harry wondered if she would ever forgive him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape was waiting for him outside Hermione's suite of rooms, pacing the corridor. Harry had heard the echoing footsteps several hallways away and had recognized them. Seven years of listening for them when he had been sneaking about with Ron and Hermione meant he was remarkably familiar with the various sounds Snape made when he walked, from the near-silent swish as the older man slid through the shadows down the hallways in the hopes of catching some errant student, to the heavier heel-toe click of each foot as they hit the ground when he was angry or impatient. He hoped what he heard now was impatience.

Snape glared at him as he rounded the corner. 'Potter.'

'Professor Snape.'

The two men stood uncomfortably in the hallway for a few moments, before Harry nodded at the closed doors. 'Should we go in?'

'In a moment,' the older man scowled. 'We need to talk, and I don't want Hermione to overhear this and start worrying.'

Harry stepped closer, brows suddenly drawn in concern. 'Is there a problem? Do you think it won't work?'

Snape waved his hand dismissively, 'It will work. But it's more – dangerous – than I have led Hermione to believe. She is convinced that I shall free her today, and I will. She is equally convinced that I will be returning with her. Of this, I am less certain.'

Harry gaped at the older man. 'Pardon me?'

'The curse is alive, Potter. It is seeking me. I am positive that I can get Hermione free of it, but if it is too strong – if it looks like the only way to get her out is to let it take me, I will do so.'

'You can't do that!' Harry protested, 'She would never agree to let you sacrifice yourself to free her!'

'Precisely why I haven't told her,' Snape concurred impassively. 'You must promise me, Potter, that you will do exactly as I tell you. I will enter her mind first and then take your hand. The potion should link the three of us and allow my touch to bring you in with me. You will more than likely find yourself in a large foyer, similar to the main entrance at Hogwarts. Stay there – I need you at the forefront of her mind to anchor us should the curse try to take us both. If I've calculated correctly, you will see a tether of sorts, attaching you to me, and me to her. Once I have her, I will place her between us – you will be the first one to leave her mind, pulling us out as you do so. If, for whatever reason, I must cut the bond between us, you will only have a finite amount of time to get her out before you will be forcefully expelled from her mind. If I tell you at anytime to get out, get out – do not argue, just grab her and run. Do not let her go, do not look back. Do you understand?'

'But -'

'No "but"s, Potter.' Snape growled, 'Do you understand. Yes or no. I can do this without you, if I must.'

'I understand, Snape.' Harry replied. 'I'll do as you say.'

The two men stared at each other silently for a moment, before Snape inclined his head. 'I have one more favor to ask of you, Potter. Should I fail to return, please make sure Hermione gets my books. I want her to have them. Albus is familiar with what else needs to be done.'

'You won't fail, Snape. Hermione will never forgive you if you do.'

'A fact I am well aware of, let me assure you. She is quite stubborn that way.' Snape replied sarcastically, but Harry could hear the honest affection for his friend in his voice as he said it.

'I wish we could have been friends, Snape.' Harry offered suddenly, reaching out and grabbing the older man's arm as he started to turn towards the door.

Snape smirked at him, 'I'd like to say I feel the same way Potter, but honestly, I do not. Perhaps after we free Hermione, I may change my mind.'

Harry found himself grinning absurdly as he followed Snape into Hermione's rooms.

~~~~~~~~~

The potion was gritty and foul. Harry wasn't sure what all Snape had put in there, but he definitely hadn't tried to make the concoction taste good. Harry had to pinch his nose as he drank it, fighting the urge to gag the entire time. Snape, of course, smirked at him and shot his entire goblet back in two quick swallows. Nettie was manipulating Hermione's throat to get her to swallow, being very careful not to let any dribble from the sides of her mouth.

Standing on either sides of Hermione's bed were Albus and Trelawney. Harry knew why Albus was there – he was Headmaster, after all – and the man did seem to genuinely like the dark potions master. He supposed Trelawney was there to let Snape know how their auras were looking.

'Severus, my dear boy,' Albus had stepped forward as Snape put his goblet down. His fingers were fumbling nervously with the obligatory bag of candies, and his voice was slightly shaky as he spoke, 'Promise me you won't do anything foolish.'

'I promise.' Snape's voice was strong and full of affection for the older man.

'None of your heroics, now,' Albus continued, as if he hadn't heard Snape reply, 'We've been through too much together for it to end this way.'

Snape reached out and grabbed the older man's hands in his firm grip, 'Albus.'

Harry was surprised to see Dumbledore had tears in his eyes. 'I don't think I have ever told you how very proud I am of you....'

'Albus...'

'How I admire all you have done to promote the Light...to keep us all safe.'

'Albus....'

'You are the bravest man I know, Severus. You have become like a son to me. Please...'

'Albus...' Snape freed a hand and reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief and pressing it into the older man's wrinkled fingers. 'There is no need. I am not worth all this.'

'You are worth this and more,' Albus replied. 'And once you have brought Miss Granger back to us, I never want to hear you disparage yourself in such a manner again. Do you understand me?'

'Yes, Albus. I understand perfectly.'

Dumbledore looked up at Harry then, the blue eyes glittering like sapphires behind his tears, 'Look after him for me, Harry. Bring them both back.'

Harry nodded mutely.

Snape turned to him, 'Ready, Potter?'

'As I'll ever be,' he replied.

Snape turned to Nettie, who was standing to his left, wringing her hands nervously. Harry watched, amazed, as he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. 'Don't look so nervous, Nettie. I can assure you, the thought of you reading those stuffy Victorian romances to me in perpetuity holds no allure. I will return.'

Nettie sniffed at him, 'Impudent man.' But she smiled as she patted him fondly on the arm. 'I cannot wait to finally talk to Miss Granger.'

'You may change you're mind when you realize she never shuts up,' Snape replied gently, before turning to acknowledge Trelawney.

'I'll be listening to you, Sybill. I doubt I'll be able to respond, but let us know what you are seeing. I need to know the minute the gray seems to be growing stronger, or overpowering us.'

Trelawney nodded at him, replying in a serious tone Harry had never heard before, 'I won't let you down, Severus.'

Snape was finally facing Albus again. 'Lemon drop?' the older man offered, holding out the bag to him.

'I believe I shall,' Snape replied, fishing one out and popping it into his mouth gamely, trying not to choke when Albus suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace, which the younger man gingerly returned.

Harry looked away, blinking ferociously, and tried to remember his promise to Snape. He would let go, if he had too. Getting Hermione out was their first priority.

Snape looked at him and cocked an eyebrow, mouth curled in his trademark sneer. 'Haven't got all day, Potter.'

Harry nodded at him in agreement. 'Right, let's go then.'

Snape reached out and grabbed Hermione's hand, his face slackening somewhat as he delved into her mind. His voice sounded strangely disembodied as he spoke, 'Take my hand, Harry.'

Harry grabbed his free hand, trying not to lose his balance as he was suddenly pulled through a tunnel of mud and darkness into a dimly lit, cold and empty foyer. Each breath was like breathing through cotton-batting. He felt his lungs burning as they struggled for oxygen, and he lurched forward a bit, trying to keep his feet under him. His body felt heavy and weighted, as if it were coated in the mud he had fallen through, and he looked down at his hands to see if this were actually the case.

There was nothing on him. He could see a cord of white luminescence in the darkness and realized it was attached around his waist, like a rope. The other end stretched down the foyer – he could barely make out Snape at the end of it, his dark robes blending easily into the shadows.

'Hermione!' the older man was calling out, his voice echoing oddly against the vaulted ceilings. 'I told you to be here waiting for us. Where are you?'

There was no reply. Snape called out again, his voice louder, more urgent. Harry winced at the stringent tone as it assaulted his ear drums. 'Hermione!'

In the distance, as if coming to him from underwater, he heard Professor Trelawney's voice. 'Severus, your aura is blending with Hermione's, just like before. The colors remain strong, however. Harry is unaffected.'

'Snape,' he called out, 'What's going on?' He shuffled a few feet further in, moving with great difficulty.

Snape turned around and snapped, 'Stay where you are! Have you already forgotten what I told you?'

'Where's Hermione!' Harry hollered back. 'Why isn't she here?'

'I intend to find out,' the older man replied tensely. 'Stay there – and do not move.' Even as he spoke, Harry could see him retreating further down the darkened hallway. Snape seemed to have no trouble moving, causing Harry to wonder if the man was even aware of the thick, sludge like atmosphere that seem to be pressing in on Harry from all sides, or if he had just gotten used to it after so long.

He could hear the echoes of footfalls, growing fainter and fainter the further in Snape went. Hinges on doors reverberated creepily down the hallway as rooms were checked, Snape's cries of 'Hermione' becoming more and more haunted. Harry felt like crying.

Eventually, he couldn't even hear Snape anymore. The cord around his waist was thin almost to the point of breaking, pulsing weakly with light. Harry took another step forward, 'Snape! Snape!'

'No change to their colors,' Trelawney continued droning, 'No change.'

'Snape!'

It was then that he heard it – frantic footfalls running down the hallway towards him. Behind the hurried steps was something else entirely – Harry was straining his ears to make it out. It sounded like the thrum of a hummingbird's wings, or the angry drone of a hoard of bees, or like the rapid movement of the legs of a thousand centipedes. The hairs on the back of Harry's neck stood at attention and his body broke out in a cold sweat. Something was coming.

It was a momentary relief to see Snape burst through the far end of the hallway, dragging Hermione with him, frantically ripping what appeared to be ropes of gray mist from her as they ran.

'Don't look back!' he was screaming at her, 'Just keep moving! I've got you, you're safe. You're safe!'

Harry took another two steps forward. 'Hermione!' he hollered.

'Stay the fuck where you are, Potter!' Snape responded viciously, 'I told you not to bloody move!'

'Harry!' Hermione cried back.

'The gray... it's coming. You must hurry!' Trelawney's voice was changing, getting louder. Snape had Hermione in front of him now, grabbing the cord tying him to Harry as it slackened the closer they got. He wrapped it around her and tied the slack off in a slip knot behind her.

Looking around, he realized he was almost in the middle of the decaying foyer, no longer at the edge of it as he had been when he first entered. Hermione was a good 75 feet from him, with Snape another 10 beyond that. Grabbing the cord around his waist, Harry began to pull on it frantically, all the while trying to fight his way back towards the wall. It was like walking through a nightmare.

Whatever was chasing them down the hallway was much closer, hissing madly like steam being expelled from a locomotive. Harry could feel the air shift around them as it was displaced from the hallway – a putrid gust of rot and death, damp and cold swept over him. He suddenly felt like ice, and he realized that both Snape and Hermione were moving more and more slowly. The very air was thickening and the walls around him seemed to melt before his eyes, oozing something dark and unspeakable. The scent of tangy copper hit his stomach like a lead weight.

The hallway Snape and Hermione had emerged from mere seconds before was yawning widely in an inhuman howl, stretching as if it sought to overtake the pair. A strange, chilling, silvery light seemed to glow from its mouth, running like sharp fingers of ice across the floor and the walls, turning everything gray at its touch. A thousand voices were gibbering madly, 'he tricked us, he tricked us, he tricked us....must catch him, must catch him, must catch him....'

Harry was pulling harder now, as if sheer will alone would apparate Hermione into his arms. He could see she was crying, her tears freezing on her face as her hair streamed wildly behind her. The curse – for that's what it was, Harry realized – was gaining ground.

Hermione was still fighting her way forward when it happened. Snape had stopped moving, turning instead towards the faceless thing hunting them so determinedly. Harry watched in horror as the older man reached into his frock coat and pulled out a dagger, which gleamed golden in the darkness, and cut the cord around his waist.

The result was immediate – the curse started hissing and cackling, as if in triumph, and Hermione ricocheted forward so suddenly she almost knocked Harry to his knees when she hit him.

The sludge around them disappeared but the foyer remained cold and rotted, as if it were holding its breath. Harry ignored this and pulled Hermione into his arms, laughing and hugging her tightly, 'Hermione, oh Hermione!'

'Get the hell out of here!' Snape was screaming at them as he sprinted across the floor, his limbs suddenly as free as theirs.

'Not without you!' Hermione hollered back, 'Hurry Severus, hurry!'

Behind him, the gray had suddenly and mysteriously vanished.

Harry could hear Trelawney yelling now, 'Get out of there Severus! I can't see... I'm losing your colors, get out now!'

Snape was hollering as well, 'Run Potter! Pick her up and get her out of here!'

Harry did just that – reaching forward, he practically threw Hermione over his shoulder and moved as fast as he could to the entrance of the foyer. Hermione was kicking and scratching and wriggling like a wild cat, and he almost dropped her under the force of her protests.

'Severus!' she was screaming, 'Severus!'

Harry was scared to turn around and look. The voices had started up again, mindless whispering from every corner, laughing in victory, 'we have him, we have him, we have him...'

'Harry, put me down! Severus! Severus!' Hermione was crying now. 'Put me down, Harry. I can save him – I can save him!'

'I can't,' Harry gasped out, 'I promised him I'd get you out of here.'

'Harry Potter, if I'm your friend – if you love me – you'll put me down.' Her voice was broken and breathless from screaming, 'I can't live without him. I'll never forgive you if you don't let me go.'

'You can have me, you bloody beast!' he heard Snape holler, 'Just leave them alone and let them go! Potter! Get out – get her out of here!'

'Hermione–' Harry was crying himself now. He had made it back to his initial entry point. Looking out, he could see the others waiting in Hermione's rooms.

Albus and Nettie were standing side by side, clutching each others hands and staring at the prone form of Snape, still tightly gripping Hermione's and his hand, sprawled across her lap. He could see his own face, the tears streaming from his eyes, which were widened in fear. Behind him, Trelawney was muttering loudly, 'I only see two of them; the third has been overtaken....'

'He wants to do this, Hermione, ' Harry said, 'he wants to save you.'

'And I want to save him,' she replied, brokenly. 'Please Harry. I know I can bring him out. I KNOW it. But once I leave here, I won't be able to come back – once the link is gone, he's lost.'

Harry looked out at the room again, before putting Hermione down and gripping her shoulders tightly, very aware that time was ticking and that at any moment he could be pushed out. If he was still holding on to her when this happened, she would be free.

The gray ropes had reappeared while their backs were turned and had almost completely overtaken Snape now, enveloping his body in a thick cocoon that seemed to suck the very life away from the interior of the room. Every once and a while, Harry could see the flash of a golden knife, but he knew Snape was fighting a losing battle.

'Hermione, I can't lose you – I can't!'

'But you will anyway, if you don't let me go. I'll never talk to you again, Harry, I swear it.'

Harry's eyes widened, glittering with tears. 'Can you... do you really think you can save him?'

'I know I can,' she replied, 'Just like he saved me. Have I ever lied to you before, Harry? Just trust me....I need to get him back...please, please....I can't leave him....I love him, Harry!'

Looking at her, her tear ravaged face, the panic in her eyes, he realized he had to let her go. He loved her, and loving her meant wanting what she wanted - and she wanted Snape. He wasn't sure if she could get him and bring him back, but he knew he didn't have the right to stop her. This wasn't about him and his needs - this was about Hermione. And she loved Snape. The greasy git. Severus.

Snape was being pulled now, still struggling weakly, through the hallway he had dragged Hermione out of what seemed hours ago now.

'Promise me you'll come back, Hermione. Promise me!'

'I promise Harry,' she replied. Her voice was as sweet as he remembered, 'We both will.'

Harry pulled her close into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't stop the tears leaking from his eyes, and didn't try to hide them.

Hermione hugged him quickly and kissed his cheek, before turning from him and running back after Snape. 'I'll see you soon, Harry. I promise!'

'I love you, Hermione. I only ever wanted you to be happy.' Harry said as he let her go. Deep in his heart, he knew was really saying goodbye.

Harry stood there as long as he could, watching her as she disappeared down the hallway, his heart breaking all over again like the day on the battlefield.

'Hermione,' he whispered. The world flickered around him and he was expelled backwards, rushing headlong down the black tunnel he had traveled through to find her again.

_______________________________________________

Crowded House - Fall At Your Feet

Whenever I fall, ever I fall