What I Meant To Say

Apart from the general disclaimer...and the ultimate dedication to inna_chy, without whom this story would never have appeared...I must warn that Severus is severely OOC in this chapter. If an OOC Snape offends you, then I suggest you take a look at "Like Sands Through The Hourglass" by Southern_Witch for a more in character Snape, otherwise enjoy! Oh, and don't forget to review... you know you want to!

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CHAPTER 4: What I Meant To Say

Hermione smiled as she felt his fingers whisper through her hair. The steady beat of his heart melded with her own as she lay against his chest. It was comforting lying with him on the sofa, his fingers toying with her hair, his heart thumping gently, and his silken voice reverberating in her ears. Severus had his arms around her, one resting on her head while the other rubbed gentle designs on her back as a book floated above them.

A soft, throaty hum vibrated against his chest as she wriggled, pressing her body from breasts to toes against him. "Everything okay there, love?" he murmured, slouching his neck to see into her face. She hummed again in response and wrapped the arm across his stomach a little tighter.

"I finished Sleeping Beauty today," she whispered, an almost sleepy note in her voice. Her warm breath washed over him, feeling as if it were searing his skin through the cotton shirt he wore.

Severus looked puzzled as Hermione snuggled closer. Her warmth permeated every bit of his being and made his blood pound in his ears. "I didn't know you were reading that. When have you found time?"

"I've been getting up early to read and study. The last few days I haven't been sleeping much anyway. It's getting easier though. I finished it in a week. Remember how long it took me to read Cinderella?" She sighed and stroked her palm across his chest.

He rolled his eyes at her and removed the book from its place floating in front of them. "You should get more sleep, love. Take time during the day to read. There's nothing here that I can't manage on my own for a while." His breath hitched as she continued to stroke her palm over the planes of his chest and down the ticklish expanse of his ribs. Severs kissed the top of her head and grasped her hand in his own to still her motions. "Why aren't you sleeping? Is there something the matter?"

Hermione was quiet for a long moment; the only sound the soft tinkling of Crookshanks's bell. She breathed deeply, taking in the herb and sandalwood scent of him. "The same reason I can't read during the day. I miss you."

Severus' breath choked in his throat as if he'd been hit. He looked at the young woman draped over him, her soft, warm curves pressed gleefully against he planes and angles of his form. Her clean scent wrapped around him, the jasmine and rainwater smell that clung to her skin and ignited his senses. "Hermione, love..."

"It's just that I like this, being near you. Knowing exactly where you are because I can feel the warmth radiating off you. Everything here has your smell, you know. Not that dusty, dank, depressing odor it had for so many years. I can even smell you in my room, but it's cold and just not the same. I'd rather be out here with you; besides, I take a nap every day. I get enough sleep then." Hermione stopped and listened to the frantic beat of his heart beneath her cheek. His chest rose with shallow, labored breaths. "Severus?"

His mind seemed to be on overload. Her words worked their way through his brain, moving far too fast for any sense to be made of them. She couldn't have said what he thought she'd said, let alone imply what he hoped she meant to imply. It was the smell of her in his nostrils, the feel of those soft curves that practically screamed woman that were crushed against him, the sound her slightly drowsy voice in his ears that distracted him. They gave him hope, broke his heart, and undid him at once. Her face turned up to him, her fingers breaking free of his hand to seek out the contours of his face to see if his thoughts could be read on the curve of those lips and the knitting of that brow. He was frowning, that he knew, but he could not make his muscles contort into a smile no matter how he tried.

Hermione struggled against him and sat up, moving to the far end of the sofa. She wrung her hands in her lap, her cinnamon and honey eyes prickling with tears, the color drained from her cheeks. She drew a shaking, unsteady breath and bowed her head, her curls hiding her face from view. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You have given up so much to stay here with me, and I'm still asking for more. Please forgive me, Severus; it won't happen again." Her voice grew quiet, her words from days before ringing in her ears with the splattering of raindrops... I love you, too. Perhaps she was the only one who loved, and least in that way.

Severus sat up and scooted to sit next to her. Their thighs touched as he reached out to lace his fingers through hers. He brought their entwined fingers to his mouth and kissed her warm flesh gently. "You have rendered me speechless, Hermione. It has been a very long time since anyone has wanted my company enough to miss me. You must understand that I am not a patient man."

"No," she interrupted with a slight smile, "you're a stubborn man. You are a gentle man, Severus. You are gentle with me. The way you like to read to me, or when you watch me when you think I'm sleeping... Oh, don't snort at me, Severus Snape! I may be blind but I still know when I'm being watched. You are a different man than the one you were years ago. You don't have the cares you had then." She squeezed his hand lightly in reassurance and tilted her head onto his shoulder. He marveled at how easily her confidence was restored in him, how she could be on the verge of tears one moment and sighing contentedly in the next after a touch of his hand or the sound of his voice.

"No, I have new ones," he muttered, letting his hand rest atop her own. "I am not good enough for the woman I love, and she could never have meant it when she said her bed was cold at night without me." His thumb stroked the fleshy part of her hand sending little shivers down her spine.

Hermione held her breath, wondering if she had heard him correctly. Severus sighed and murmured, "You smell like rainwater. You'll always smell like rainwater to me." His tone was so wistful that Hermione felt her heart swell and nearly burst inside her chest. God help her but she loved this man, this man who had given her back her soul.

"I do love you, Severus," she whispered softly. She pulled their entwined hands onto her lap and covered them with her other hand. Severus smiled slightly at how her two small hands could barely contain one of his. His ears pricked at her words. "There'll be no more talk of you not being good enough. You are the most kind, gentle, loving man I have ever known. If anyone here is unworthy, it's me."

Severus stood with a swiftness that would have made his teaching robes billow if he had been wearing them. He pulled her up from the sofa and into his arms, crushing her soft curves against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his middle and turned her face upwards as his lips came crashing upon hers. He kissed her gently, but with a fierceness that told her in no uncertain terms that he didn't find her unworthy. His hands came up to cup her face as his tongue traced the seam of her lips, begging entrance. Severus felt as if he could die at that moment, the rich and intoxicating taste that was Hermione Granger dancing on his tongue and the smell of rain surrounding him.

He pressed gentle kisses to the corners of her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, her nose, and her forehead before embracing her tightly again and resting his forehead against hers. "You are not unworthy, Hermione. No, love, you are the goddess of my idolatry, the object of my worship, and the whole of my devoted obsession." With that, Severus knelt in front of her and kissed the tops of her feet and the hem of her summer skirt. He straightened up on his knees and pressed warm kisses to the curve of her belly as his hands stroked the swell of her hips.

Sighing, Hermione closed her eyes and rested her hand on the back of his head as he kissed her stomach. Warmth radiated through her, beginning where his lips and hands were spreading outward in undulating waves. At that moment, that point in space where the entire outside world ceased to exist, Hermione did feel worshiped. More than that, she felt loved.

The bell rang, snapping Hermione out of her daydreams at the mercy of Severus' hands. Her eyes popped open to stare at nothingness as a hot blush crept over her cheeks. Severus groaned inwardly as he got to his feet and regarded the time. It was noon; Potter and Weasley had arrived with lunch. He kissed her on the forehead once again and departed to answer the door.

~~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~HG~~SS~~~

"What?" Hermione shouted a few minutes later. Severus was at the table in the kitchen eating the lunch Potter and Weasley had given him when he heard her. He nearly jumped out of his seat before he was able to calm himself. He smirked as he heard Weasley stammering.

"But we didn't ask him to, 'Mione," Ron whined. "He goes in there by himself!"

"Probably to keep from being hexed by you!" She was practically screaming at them now. "Harry, how could you let him do that? Get him in here now! Severus!"

A tousled head of black hair peeked around the doorframe followed by a rather fearful face belonging to the Boy Who Lived. "Um, Hermione wants you to come in the sitting room, Professor."

Severus smirked at the fear painted on Harry's face as he wiped off his hands and stood. He followed the younger man into the sitting room and beheld the most enticing sight. Hermione stood, fists on her hips in front of Ron's chair, her blank eyes glaring, and her face twisted in anger. The poor boy's want lay useless in his lap.

"Hermione," Severus said calmly. "What did you need, love?"

Almost instantly, her face softened, and she turned toward the sound of his voice. "Severus, how long have you been hiding in the kitchen when Harry and Ron are here?"

"Since the day I came here to watch over you," he replied calmly. Her face twisted into a frown of confusion. He grinned slightly and answered the question already forming on her lips. "I thought it best that you have your time alone with Messrs Potter and Weasley. At first I did not want to alert you...albeit inadvertently through Potter or Weasley...to my presence. Recently, I thought it best for you to enjoy a bit of life apart from my presence. You must carry on with the parts of your life that do not apply to me if you are to regain your confidence. I also refuse to interfere with the bond you have with them as you have known them far longer...and better...than myself."

The confusion fell from Hermione's face as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. "You insufferable, wonderful man!" she cried as she pressed her cheek against his chest. "You are not to do that again. You'll have lunch in here...with all of us...and none of you are going to complain about it! If you boys can't get along, I'll have to lock you in a room and take away your wands until you play nicely."

Severus found it very difficult to keep himself from grinning as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "It appears the old Hermione is finally reappearing."

She giggled, oblivious to the shocked looks Ron and Harry were giving them. "She will be as soon as you find my wand."

"As you wish, love," he whispered, kissing her soundly.